by Shelly Bell
Then something dark would seep into her mind, turning an erotic moment into the equivalent of a nightmare, and the oncoming orgasm as well as the hint of a memory would slip through her fingers like an elusive shadow. Would it be different with Jax? Could he break through the barrier or would she crack and cry out her safe word?
A tiny voice inside of her whispered that she should warn Jax, but she worried he’d press to know more and wouldn’t go forward with the scene. And she wanted—no, needed—for him to bind her.
She sank into the cushion, surprised to discover the fabric was much softer than it had appeared. It felt like crushed velvet on her skin, warm and plush. The couch cradled her body.
Jaxon towered over her, licking his lips and dangling the restraints from his fingers. His eyes twinkled with wicked intent. What would he do to her?
“I want you to tell me if anything scares you. Feel free to speak and be as vocal as you want.” He knelt beside her. “Arms over your head.”
Even though she knew it was coming, the ripping noise of the Velcro startled her. She swallowed her fear and tried to concentrate on Jax.
He attached the restraint to the D ring on the upper right side of the couch and wrapped it around her wrist. “Is that too tight?”
“No. It’s fine.” She tested the binding and wasn’t surprised to discover that he’d rendered her left arm completely immobile. Her pulse kicked up to triple time. In any other situation, she’d take a pill. But tonight she’d prove to both of them that her trust in Jax was stronger than her need for control.
He did the same to her other arm. It felt absolutely decadent to lie on the couch in nothing but her high heels with Jax completely dressed in black jeans, a button-down shirt, and bare feet. As frightened as she was, she was equally turned on. Her breasts grew heavy, and her nipples tightened with each second that passed. A lingering tenderness remained from last night’s clamping, making them extra sensitive. She craved his mouth. The thought of him reddening her nipples sent tingles to her pussy.
But he moved on his own timetable. Focusing on his task of restraining her, he ignored her nipples and shifted his attention to her ankles. He dropped to his knees and raised one of her legs over his shoulder.
From between her legs, Jax gazed up at her. Her clitoris swelled, and evidence of her arousal trickled from her pussy. He looked every bit of the dangerous man the press purported him to be. His hooded eyes had darkened from scotch to cocoa, and his nostrils flared as if the scent of her pussy was an aphrodisiac. He pressed a hot kiss on the inside of her ankle and then nibbled his way up to her thigh. Her breath sawed in and out of her chest in anticipation of his mouth on her fluttering folds.
He laughed, torturing her by lowering her foot to the floor. She groaned as he applied the restraint to her ankle and hooked it to the bottom side of the couch. Then he went to work on her other leg, tossing it over his left shoulder. Again he teased her, licking a trail from her calf to the inside of her left thigh but stopping before he got to where she needed him most. When he secured her right leg to the couch, he got to his feet and folded his arms over his chest.
She yanked her arms and legs against the restraints. They didn’t give an inch.
She was trapped, unable to escape.
Trapped like when they’d arrested her for her father’s death.
Trapped like the night in the woods on her sixteenth birthday.
Her heart pounded viciously. Tiny stars flashed in her vision, and darkness seeped in from the edges.
Jaxon’s concerned face came into view. “Katerina? Damn it, I’m going to undo the restraints.” He reached for her wrist.
She clenched her fists and shook her head. “No. I can do this. I want to do this.” If she gave up now, her fear would get the best of her. She didn’t want to be weak anymore. Maybe if she could break through this wall she’d erected, she could finally be free of the panic attacks. “Please. Help me get through it.”
“Keep your eyes open and concentrate on me. On my voice. My touch.” He slid to his knees and returned to his spot between her legs. “You’re so very beautiful.”
The room grew hazy, but she refused to give in to the panic. In between pressing kisses up her leg, Jax continued to speak to her in soft, soothing tones, praising her body and her submission.
She fought against the anxiety, breathing deeply and listening to Jax’s voice. It wasn’t enough. She was going to faint. Gunshot.
He sank his teeth into her thigh’s flesh and didn’t let go.
Every sound, every smell, every sensation disappeared except for the searing pain of his bite. She yanked at her restraints, but she couldn’t escape it.
He moved to her other thigh and did it again.
She screamed.
Then moaned.
The panic receded, leaving pure arousal in its wake. Her heart still raced, and she found it difficult to fill her lungs with air. The pain of his teeth clamped to her skin had pushed her fear over the cliff and buried it beneath a raging sea. Now there was only throbbing pain and scorching heat. Thick desire coursed through her blood. Her clitoris pulsed, and the walls of her pussy quivered, begging for Jax’s cock to possess it.
“I want you, Jax.”
As if he hadn’t heard her, he removed his teeth from her flesh and crossed the room to the armoire. She couldn’t see what he was doing, but she heard what sounded like a drawer opening and closing.
A moment later he was back. In his hands was a flogger. “You respond well to pain. I think you’ll enjoy a flogging, but . . .” He produced a small tube and crouched next to her. “If this gets too intense, let me know.”
He dabbed some gel onto his finger and rubbed it onto her clit. At first she enjoyed the pleasant sensation of his touch. Then heat bloomed, and the more he rubbed, the hotter her clitoris grew. She arched into his touch as far as the restraints would allow.
“I’m guessing you like it.” He laughed and, sadly, removed his finger. “This particular flogger doesn’t deliver much of a sting, but I want you to use your safe word if you need to. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Jax.”
She’d read about floggers and had checked them out online. While sometimes they were lumped into the same category as whips, they were actually quite different. The sensations the flogger elicited depended on its material, length, width, and number of its strands.
He settled on top of the couch between her feet, resting on his knees. His flogger was about the size of his forearm. Their gazes locked, and she was unable to look away. It was as if her body lay on a precipice, waiting for him to push her over. She held her breath in anticipation.
He dragged the falls of the flogger from her calf to her thigh, its softness surprising her. The suede whispered and teased her skin like a feather.
Jax’s pupils dilated, almost completely swallowing the irises, and beads of sweat broke out on his forehead. He took a deep breath, and when he exhaled, he slapped the strands on top of her thigh. Using a figure eight movement, he continued to rain blows on her legs, first one and then the other. She couldn’t explain the sensation. It wasn’t pain exactly. Not like when he’d bitten her. The strands fell with a dull thud, awakening the nerves of her skin. The tension in her muscles melted away under the steady rhythm of his beating.
Her eyelids grew heavy. Too tired to fight it, she allowed her eyes to close, sinking into the sensation of the suede on her skin. Her clitoris continued to burn, and her skin heated from the flogger’s kisses. The falls skipped to her abdomen. The flesh was more sensitive there, and she twisted in her restraints. Then the suede slapped her breasts and flicked her nipples, sending tendrils of desire straight to her pussy.
She didn’t know why the feel of it suddenly went from dull to sharp, and she didn’t care. Craving more of its wicked sting, she bowed her spine to get closer to the flogger. She licked her dry lips, her mouth parched. Her entire body throbbed. She was on fire.
The flogging stopp
ed. She opened her eyes and saw Jax staring down at her.
Then he danced the falls across her mound, lighting up the nerves in her labia. Once. Twice. Throbbing with ruthless intensity, her clitoris felt swollen. Huge. Needy. She rocked her head from side to side and silently chanted a plea for release.
“Katerina, look at me,” Jax said in his demanding tone, sending shivers down her arms.
She kept her head still and gazed up at him. Sweat dripped down the side of his face. She followed the trail with her eyes and slid her tongue across her lips, craving his taste.
He dragged his fingers down the edge of his hairline and swiped them across her lips, sharing his salty moisture. “Come.”
The strands licked her clitoris, and she exploded. A scream erupted from her chest as the muscles of her pussy, her pelvis, her abdomen, even her hands and feet clenched and released. Waves and waves of liquid heat flowed like lava through her veins.
Jax got to his feet and ripped his shirt open, the buttons flying in all directions and then scattering across the floor. The muscles of his chest bunched and flexed, gleaming with sweat. She raked her gaze over his body, marveling at the chiseled definition of his abdomen and the taut, sinewy ropes of his biceps. He bared his teeth as if he were a feral animal poised to attack. His pants dropped with a whoosh, and his cock sprang from its confinement. All for her, his cock was thick, long, and fully erect, curved up toward his belly button, precome leaking from its darkened head.
She swallowed, thinking about the taste of him in her mouth and how he’d stretched her lips beyond what she’d imagined possible. Aching for him to fill her empty channel, she shamelessly undulated her hips, attempting to entice him into finally taking her.
Jax pumped his shaft with his hand, squeezing more pearly liquid from its opening. “Impatient girl. Was your orgasm not enough for you? We both know I’ll fuck you when I’m good and ready and not a minute sooner. Maybe I should get myself off and come on your breasts.”
The idea of him masturbating to completion for her and marking her with his seed caused ripples in her pussy. She liked that idea—a lot. Perhaps another time. Because right now, she needed him inside her more than she needed her next breath. But since her protests would likely cause him to torment her longer, she kept her lips sealed tightly and bit the inside of her cheek.
He picked up a condom from the floor, ripped open the wrapper, and then rolled it over his shaft. He lowered himself over her, embracing her with his body heat and his woodsy scent. “I think I’d rather sink into your hot, wet cunt.”
He slipped the head of his cock into the entrance of her pussy. She gasped, her heart pumping furiously. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the feel of him stretching her. Completing her. His eyes shuttered, he slid into her, pressing her pelvis down with his hand and torturing her with his slow intrusion. She wanted it fast and hard. Wanted to lose herself in his thrusts.
His legs pushed against the throbbing bites on her thighs, reminding her of his brutal possession, and his pelvis bone bumped her clitoris, renewing the burn. She cried out and closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the myriad of sensations.
Jax cupped her cheeks in his palms. “Katerina, open your eyes and look at me.”
She tried. She really did. But it was as if her lids were glued shut.
“Katerina.” He growled and bit her bottom lip.
This time her eyes flew open, compelled by his demand.
He snagged her gaze and undulated his hips, lodging himself fully in her channel, the tip of his cock kissing her cervix. “Do you feel it? Your pussy is so hot that it’s scorching me through the condom.” Oh so slowly, he dragged his cock in and out, back and forth, carefully electrifying every nerve in her pussy. The crisp hairs nestling against his shaft tickled her lower belly and his testicles.
He commanded her body, possessed her heart, and touched her soul. Drowning in the sea of his eyes, she surrendered to him. Their breaths synchronized as if Jax and she were one, as if each inhalation was dependent on the other. The weight of his body pressed heavy on her chest, pushing her farther into the cushion of the couch.
He claimed her mouth in a gentle kiss, coaxing her lips apart with his tongue, and ground his pelvis against hers, rubbing her clitoris and setting her pussy on fire. Her walls fluttered around him, and she swallowed his groan. He continued to fuck her slowly, sweat dripping off his chest on to hers. Her skin sizzled where he’d flogged her.
It was too much. Too intense. Too . . . loving. Each stroke of his cock inside of her spoke volumes, saying words she didn’t want to hear. She couldn’t turn her head. Couldn’t close her eyes. There was no escape. Not physically. Not mentally. Not emotionally. But she didn’t feel fear or anxiety. Instead, as her climax began to build, contentment washed over her, bathing her in its heat.
He slid his fingers down her cheeks and covered the front of her neck with them. The corners of his lips tugged up in a half smile. His gaze darkened and narrowed.
Then he squeezed her trachea.
She felt her eyes widen and instinctively sucked in air through her nose.
He pressed harder, his fingertips digging into her skin. He could crush her windpipe. Cut off her oxygen. Her life was in his hands.
Panic flittered through her mind and then quickly disappeared.
Jax wouldn’t harm her. Trusting him, she relaxed her muscles and breathed normally.
His beautiful smile expanded. “Good girl.” He lightened his grip but left his hands around her neck, banding her like a collar, as though she belonged to him.
I belong to him.
The stirring of climax bloomed low in her pelvis, winding tighter and tighter.
I belong to him.
Her legs trembled and her pulse raced.
I belong to him.
Like a tornado through a trailer park, the orgasm tore through her violently, devastating her, ravaging her inside and out. Following her over the edge, Jax cried her name. His cock jerked inside of her, and she swore she felt the heat of his release.
Moisture leaked from her eyes and slid down her cheeks.
And then her entire body shook as she sobbed ten years’ worth of tears.
Chapter Six
HE REMOVED HER restraints and then cradled her in his arms, rocking her like a newborn babe. She was defenseless against her emotions as they tore through her, and images from the past bombarded her. She mourned not only her father but also her mother. Her childhood. Her innocence. She released the aches of living alone all these years and of not having family to share her losses and triumphs.
The pain was agonizing. It would have been unbearable had it not been for Jaxon. He stroked her cheeks and let her cry, occasionally kissing the top of her head. Not once did he tell her to stop or try to dry her tears. He had given her not only the catharsis, but he stayed to support her through it.
Other than Caden, she didn’t trust anyone more. She wanted Jaxon to know her, and that meant exposing what lay below the surface.
She set a hand on his chest and pushed back. He tucked her hair behind her ears and waited patiently for her to speak.
She released a shuddering breath. “On my fourteenth birthday, my father and I got up at three in the morning to go deer hunting. It wasn’t the only time we went hunting, but my birthdays were special. For breakfast he’d pack us these gigantic cinnamon rolls, and when I say gigantic, I mean they were bigger than my head.” She laughed through her tears. “For lunch we’d have pasties, meat pies filled with beef and veggies, and that’s when he’d give me my birthday gift. That last birthday, he was going to give me the greatest gift of all.”
She summoned the courage to tell him what she’d never told another soul—not even Caden. “He was going to leave my mother and take me with him.”
His body went stiff, and he frowned. “Why was that a gift? Did she abuse you?”
“No. Not in the way you’re thinking.” She shifted in his lap and rested her head on
his shoulder. “Mama always had a drinking problem, but it had gotten to the point where she was no longer functional. She wouldn’t go to rehab, and my father finally gave up hope that she’d ever recover.”
“What did your dad do?”
She smiled, thinking about him. She missed him desperately, but she’d like to think he’d be proud of her for all she’d accomplished. “He was an electrician. For as long as I could remember, it had been my dad and me against the world. When I was really young, my mom would play with me. And she loved to garden, but by my fourteenth birthday, everything she’d loved in the garden had withered and died.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been difficult for you.”
The sting of Jaxon’s throbbing bites on her thighs grounded her in reality even as the memories rolled through her. “You would think so, but to me Mama was kind of always in the background of my life. She was there, taking up space, but she didn’t affect my life one way or another. My dad was the one who had to take care of her, and he’d had enough.”
“So what happened?”
“After lunch we went back to hunting. A few minutes later, I shot a doe, but it ran away. Dad went to track it and told me to stay in position. Hunting to me was as natural as breathing. I hadn’t lowered the gun an inch when it went off. I was wearing earplugs, but the sound of that shot was louder than any shot I’d ever heard. When my hearing cleared, it was so silent. It was as if I was the only person left in the world. I found him on the ground next to the deer. Blood everywhere. The deer looked at me with such sadness. My dad told me he would always love me and that he was sorry. And then he was gone.”
With his fingertips, he gently wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. “Kate, it wasn’t your fault.”
“Really? That’s not what everyone else believed.”
“What do you mean?”
