“I don’t have enough Zathanian fluids in me to do that, I could get to the size but I’d be like a blimp, full of air, ready to be punctured.”
“Well what are you going to do then?”
“I think I’ll go for a fly,” he then turned into a small bird and hopped off of the barrel into flight.
Up, up the little bird flew and landed on the shoulder of the Tower giant. He/it then proceeded to preen him/itself. The Tower giant turned to where Arthur and the others were hiding. The right hand took a firing position and began to click. Sid got very nervous, “I think it’s going to shoot us!”
Arthur looked up at Ruhtra, “What’s he doing, he’s preening himself!”
“You don’t think he’s waiting ‘til the last second do you?”
“You know, I think he is.”
“What happens if he fails?”
“Let’s run then,” he turned his head slightly and ordered the rest, “RUN!”
“Tur tut,” tutted the little bird, “don’t they trust me?” Ruhtra flew into the ear hole of the giant and turned into a slithering snake. He plopped onto the floor and heard the captain saying, “On my mark fire...”
“Cancel that order,” said the shapechanger in the voice of the captain as he also formed into the guard’s leader.
“I say,” said the captain, “who are you?”
“You,” replied Ruhtra as he made his fist very large and bopped the captain on the chin, knocking him out.
“Captain, Captain,” the right hand controller called through the comms system.
“Power down Right Hand Controller. I’ve received new orders. We need to help them instead. Are you fat by the way?”
“Why?”
“I could call you the fat controller.”
“Sorry Sir?”
“Never mind, just put your hand out near the tree so they can climb up into their airship.”
The Right Hand Controller paused for a bit, then replied with, “Yes Sir.”
EPILOGUE
I do not want to use the word so, (and now?) And now we have come to the end, almost. Arthur and the others escaped with the Hoo codebook without being squashed or dismembered. They did however meet Richard III again and his tea pirates but they soon saw them off.
When they got back to base each of them went to see the doctor (I’ve only just realised I need a doctor character to re-enact TEABAG battles with the In Her Majesty’s Name miniatures system.) His name? Well I want it Victorian, so, Doctor Googly. I did consider Dr Google but I couldn’t find out on Google if it was a surname, it also gives me chance to make a few cricket jokes if I need to.
“Enter,” commanded Dr Googly from his surgery desk.
It was Plattington, after all we were supposed to be developing his backstory. He nodded as he entered.
“Sit down please Bombardier.”
Plattington sat down quite gingerly.
“What’s wrong Plattington, where were you injured?”
“In the battle with the Tower giant.”
“And where is that euphemism on your body?”
The corporal winked at the doctor to show him his bruised eye.
Peering through his spectacles Googly commented, “Is that all man.” He threw a tube of cream over the desk, “Here, this’ll help bring the bruising out. How did you do it?”
“It was on the tea break Sir, while I was drinking tea.”
“Try taking the spoon out of the cup in future. Next.”
The East Anglian Bombardiers And Grenadiers Page 6
