by Janet Tanner
‘Brit – oh Brit, my love.’
As the hot, steamy months of summer sweltered past, the strangely unreal atmosphere surrounding Hong Kong intensified.
Air raid wardens had been recruited and there were frequent blackout drills; petrol rationing was discussed and a Wartime Taxation Committee reconstituted.
Much to his disgust, Gordon had been mobilised into the Volunteer Defence Corps which Hugh had been so eager to join and which had now been extended to include all British subjects between the ages of eighteen and fifty-five; there were even simulated emergencies designed to test the ability of the Kowloon Civil Defence to deal with possible bombing raids.
But at the same time, social life was as gay and gracious as it had ever been. Horses still raced at the Happy Valley Racecourse, thousands flocked to see a China Products Exhibition; piano recitals and concerts were still well attended; dinner parties and supper dances still took place in the Rose Room and Roof Garden at the Peninsula and the lobby of the Hong Kong Hotel. And if the proceeds were sent more often than not to fighting funds, the implications were lost on the majority of those who attended these events.
Since the night of her fall, Elise had stopped trying to persuade Gordon to let her take Alex away. With life going on as it always had, it was easy to be lulled into a false sense of security and to believe, along with Gordon, that nothing was going to happen. And Elise knew instinctively that it would be a waste of her breath trying to convince him otherwise. Besides, although they were both making great efforts their marriage was very uncertain still; it took more than one day’s goodwill and one moment’s pledges to mend the bridges their months of antagonism had burned, and it would never survive a long separation, Elise thought. To leave now would certainly be the end and though they never discussed it, she was sure that Gordon must feel the same.
But towards the end of November Gordon’s attitude began to change.
‘I’ve been making some enquiries to see whether perhaps you could take Alex to Singapore for a while,’ he said over dinner on evening.
She looked at him in surprise and he went on, ‘De Gama has friends there with whom you could stay and there is a substantial British presence that makes it the safest place in Malaysia.’
She set down her fork. ‘ I thought you said that Hong Kong was safe. What has made you change your mind?’
‘I haven’t changed my opinion. But I heard some rather disturbing news today. Apparently the Japanese manager of the barber’s shop at the Hong Kong Hotel has tendered his resignation – supposedly due to ill-health. But what makes it rather odd is that all the other Japanese personnel are going too. It may mean nothing, of course. On the other hand, if you want to be pessimistic, you could give it a rather sinister interpretation.’
‘That an invasion is imminent, you mean?’ she said.
‘Well, it is a possibility, isn’t it? I must admit I have noticed ‘‘closed shop’’ signs going up on Jap businesses for some weeks now. As I say, it may be a coincidence. And even if the Japs do decide to have a go at Hong Kong, I have every confidence in our defences. But all the same, it could be an unpleasant time.’
‘Would you come with us?’
‘Just long enough to see you settled in. I couldn’t be away for too long.’
A chill gnawed suddenly at her stomach. Bad signs or no bad signs, it was disconcerting to have Gordon do an about-turn in this way. Did he know something she didn’t – about Brit, perhaps?
That he would be no further threat even if they were separated – or on the other hand, that he was back in Hong Kong even?
She lifted her fork again, playing nervously with her food. If that were the reason, if there was the faintest chance of seeing Brit or even glimpsing him, she must stay here!
‘I don’t know that. I want to go right now,’ she said unsteadily. ‘I would rather wait until after the baby’s born. I know Dr Munro said I’m healthy enough to have it in a paddy-field if necessary, but I think I would prefer to have him attend me if at all possible, and I would certainly rather be in a place I know.’
An amah entered to clear the dishes and Gordon said, ‘We’ll talk about this again,’ but she avoided his eyes and as the baby stirred within her, pushing out a small fist or foot to make a bulge in her stomach, she covered it with a protective hand.
Perhaps being pregnant was making her stupid and irrational, but this time she was going to be the stubborn one. He had made her remain here; now for some reason he wanted her to go. Well, she was determined not to be despatched so easily without knowing why.
A week passed and she seemed to be suspended in time, waiting – for what, she was not quite certain.
The baby, of course. It would not be long now before it was born, she was sure. Though she had felt unwell throughout her pregnancy, now she tired more easily than ever; wan ted to sleep but was unable to stay still for many minutes at a time. The child had settled low within her, making it uncomfortable to sit, and lying down made her nauseous. Sometimes there was pressure on nerves, shooting sharp pains through her and stirring her to fiery impatience. She wanted the timeto come quickly now, wanted to see the living proof of her love for Brit in her arms.
But the restlessness was not only due to that. Partly, she thought, it was this inexplicable feeling that Brit might be near. It was almost nine months since he had gone, nine months counted off by the advance of her pregnancy, and she was consistently nagged by the thought that Gordon’s change of heart in planning for her and Alex to leave Hong Kong might be connected in some way with his return.
Although she did not really expect him to contact her, she still jumped each time the telephone rang, still looked about eagerly whenever she went into town. A dozen times in the street she thought she saw him, but always the rear view that had looked so disconcertingly familiar turned out to belong to some total stranger.
If only I could see him just once and tell him about the baby! she thought.
Common sense told her that would not be enough, but still she longed for it with a deep, obsessive yearning.
But in the quiet of the night it seemed to her that the restless sense of waiting extended beyond her own feelings. It was bigger than she was, encompassing her. It was as if the air she breathed, clear and warm now with the dying year, was full of anticipation. So she waited and the whole of Hong Kong, usually pulsing and vibrant, waited with her.
On the night of 7 December, Gordon took her to dine at the Peninsula with Hugh de Gama.
It was the first time she had been there since the night of her fall, and she tried her best to avoid going. But Gordon was insistent.
‘Hugh wants to see you.’
‘Well, I don’t want to see Hugh,’ she protested.
Gordon sighed. ‘I wish you wouldn’t be that way with him, Elise. Hugh is very fond of you, and there’s something he wants to say to you.’
‘What?’
‘I’ll leave that to him.’
Eventually, not wanting to cause an argument, she gave in and when she and Gordon arived at the Playpen, Hugh rose from one of the broad red chairs beside the window to greet them.
‘I’m very pleased you have come, Elise. It’s so long since I last saw you. Has Gordon told you that I wanted to talk with you?’
She nodded. ‘ Yes. I must confess I’m curious, Hugh.’
‘Let’s order drinks, then, so that we all feel more civilised.’ He signalled to a boy, who arrived like a white-coated shadow. ‘Gimlets all round.’
‘No – tonic water for me,’ Elise corrected.
She sat stiff and uncomfortable, not reacting when Hugh reached over to touch her hand.
‘I hear you are being stubborn about going to Singapore, Elise.’
She stiffened still further. ‘I’m only doing what Gordon wanted me to do all along and staying in Hong Kong.’
‘But it’s no place for women and children just now,’ Hugh told her. ‘ Now, if you were to go to Singapore you wou
ld be safe. You’ve seen the guns there – they will Blast anything that comes out of the sea. And Singapore is not so very far away. I have friends there who would take care of you and Alex.’
She sipped her tonic, remembering Brit’s doubts as to whether Singapore was as defensible as people liked to think.
‘I’ve heard all this before, Hugh. But you weaken your argument by one unarguable point. You and Gordon are staying. If it’s so dangerous here, why stay?’
Gordon shifted impatiently but Hugh remained grave and cool.
‘Because our livelihood is here, and we want to keep it intact if we can. But there is no point in you following suit. Get out while you can and leave the lemmings to self-destruct.’
The baby shifted, pressing on a nerve and making her shiver.
‘What do you mean by that?’
Hugh lifted his drink; over the rim his eyes held hers and for once they held none of the implications that could make her cringe.
‘Things are deteriorating fast, Elise. Did you notice all the illuminations from the Rose Room and the Roof Garden on your way in, or hear the music? It’s Fancy Dress Victory Ball being held by the Chinese Women’s Club in aid of the fighting funds. I looked in before coming to meet you – the place is a blaze of music, laughter, colour and light: brilliant, extravagant, typically Hong Kong. But it made me think of the Duchess of Richmond’s ball before the Battle of Waterloo.’
She shivered again. ‘Don’t!’
‘So, I’m getting through to you at last. Good!’
Gordon smiled without humour. ‘That’s more than I have been able to do. But then, I’m afraid my wife generally does the opposite of what I want her to.’
‘Elise?’ Hugh leaned forward. ‘You were curious to know why I wanted to talk to you. The reason is this. My yacht is ready and waiting to take you to Singapore the moment decide to go. But remember that if the Japs attack, the water won’t be safe either. I think you should take me up on the offer very quickly. And don’t let other considerations get in the way of your decision.’
She looked up sharply, glancing from one to the other of them. Was there something they knew that she did not? But their faces gave nothing away. Within her the baby stirred again and suddenly all her old fears for it and for Alex’s safety were resurrected, bringing her to a state of restless awareness.
‘All right,’ she said abruptly. ‘If you really think it’s necessary, I will go.’
‘I do. Can you be ready to sail tomorrow?’
‘That soon?’ His eyes answered her and she nodded. ‘ Yes, I suppose so.’
‘Good girl!’ Hugh set down his glass with a sigh of relief. ‘Now shall we eat?’
The conversation was dropped, but an atmosphere of forced gaiety hung over the table as they ate, and when the meal was over Gordon was the first to make a move.
‘I don’t think Elise should be late tonight, Hugh. She needs a good night’s rest.’
‘I couldn’t agree with you more.’ Hugh leaned over to kiss her on both cheeks. ‘Goodnight, Elise. I know you have made the right decision. I only hope and pray that you haven’t left it too late.’
As they left the Peninsula the music wafted down to them and the blaze of light from the Roof Garden lit the sky like a jewelled crown on a regal head.
Remembering Hugh’s remark about the Duchess of Richmond’s ball, Elise shivered again and pulled her wrap more closely around her. But out in the harbour a million lights twinkled and danced.
War, she thought, had never seemed further away.
They came at seven the following morning, thirty-six Japanese aircraft swooping low over Kai-Tak and loosing their bombs. The explosions wakened Elise and she thought it was thunder. But when she got out of bed to look out of the window the sky was as clear and blue as ever, broken only by the pall of black smoke that hung heavily over Kowloon.
‘Dear God, what is it?’ she whispered aloud.
But already in her heart she knew. Hugh had been right to be concerned that she had left it too late to leave Hong Kong.
The attack had already begun.
The house, like the whole of Kowloon, was in panic. Su Ming was screaming and Alex, awakened by the noise, came rushing to Elise, clinging to her legs and crying. Only Gordon was calm, taut and white-faced, but issuing instructions with the authority and control of a man used to taking charge.
‘Elise, get yourself and Alex dressed and pack a few things that are absolutely necessary. I will take you down to the Peninsula. If there is another air attack, the cellars there will be the safest place. It’s lucky that you’re packed and ready to go. Come on now – hurry!’
Trembling, Elise did as she was told. As on the day of the torpedo attack on the Maid, she had awakened too suddenly to overwhelming fear; but this time, in spite of the shock, she was able to behave with a strange and almost unnatural calm which she knew instinctively was because she was now responsible for two children – Alex and the unborn baby.
She dressed Alex and threw on her own clothes, at the same time remonstrating with Su Ming who, although she had stopped screaming, was not exhibiting the Oriental calm Elise would have expected of her.
‘Just bring what you really need. You heard what Gordon said. Things are replaceable, Su Ming – you are not!’
Somehow she managed to comfort Alex, too. ‘You’re a big boy now, and this is going to be the greatest adventure of your life. You have to show me just how brave you can be. All right?’
He nodded and the determined set of his mouth, contrasting with the terror in his grey eyes, tore at her heart.
I should have found a way to get him to Australia, she thought. I ought to have persisted! But it was too late now for regrets and recriminations.
The streets of Kowloon were in uproar. Chinese and Europeans rushed this way and that, with no clear idea of where to go or what to do. A bus passed them, driven by Volunteer Reservists and Elise glanced enquiringly at Gordon.
He nodded briefly in reply.
‘Yes. I shall have to report to Headquarters straight away. But I’m seeing you safely to the Peninsula first.’
Her hand tightened on Alex’s. She wished she could beg Gordon to forget his duty and stay with them, but she knew she could not.
The Peninsula looked out over the sparkling water of the harbour – as square, immovable and British as ever. Flags still fluttered, the fountain on the forecourt still played. But now, with a pall of smoke hanging over Hong Kong, the distant but unmistakable sound of gunfire and the smell of fear in the air, it was difficult to remember that only last night the place had been ablaze with riotous and defiant merrymaking. And the lobby, too, was almost as chaotic as the streets.
Gordon had not been alone in thinking the cellars here would make the best air-raid shelter in Kowloon. Half Hong Kong seemed to be milling about among the staff who had already started work on the precautionary measures of festooning the plate-glass windows with yards of sticky paper as a precaution against blast.
Gordon, who had gone off to make arrangements for her, returned. She saw his slight, sandy-haired figure coming purposefully towards them with a rush of relief. He grasped her arms, holding her briefly.
‘Listen, darling, I’ve done what I can. I shall have to go now. Stay here until I come back for you. All right?’
She nodded, and he went on, ‘ There’s nothing to worry about. There are plenty of troops up on the Gin Drinkers Line – two infantry brigades, I’m told, six battalions in all. They can hold on for at least a week and by that time reinforcements should be here. When I know what’s happening about evacuation, I’ll be back.’
The Gin Drinkers Line was the name given to the position taken up to defend the Colony and it had been so-called because of the rather boozy picnics which had taken place there in happier times.
‘What about the Volunteers? Won’t you have to stay with them?’ Elise asked.
‘I shall tell them I have a pregnant wife and a son to look a
fter. They will have to understand that.’
She nodded, unable to speak. Within her the baby moved restlessly and a new, sharp fear attacked her. It was almost due. Supposing the baby decided to put in an appearance just now? What in heavens’ name would she do?
In panic she caught at his wrist. ‘Gordon, what if I … what if the baby …?’
She saw her own fear reflected in his eyes for a moment, then control reasserted itself in his features, an older version of Alex’s desperate efforts.
‘It won’t. Don’t think about it. It’s not due for another week or more. And Alex was very late, wasn’t he?’
But he was the first, she thought. First babies are often late. But this one …
Gordon put his arms around her, hugging her close with Alex between them, and she put her face against his shoulder. Strange how much she wanted him suddenly, after all the months of virtually hating him. They scarcely seemed to matter now; she was just a frightened girl and he was her husband.
‘I’m sorry, Elise,’ he said softly against her hair. ‘I should have let you go.’
She turned her face from side to side.
‘No, Gordon, you were not to know. I’m the one who should be sorry. It was all my fault. And I hurt you …’
He pulled away a little and she sensed his pain, even now in the midst of fear and panic.
‘Gordon …’
He kissed her and bent to kiss Alex.
‘I’ll have to go now. But I’ll be back.’
‘Yes. We will be here.’
She restrained the urge to hang on to him, keep him there with them, but her eyes and throat ached as she watched him disappear into the milling crowd in the lobby, and mixed with the sudden aching loneliness she recognised the stirrings of anxiety for him.
What would he be called upon to do as a member of the Volunteers? She had no idea. During these last few months she had taken very little notice of his activities and scarcely listened when he told her about them. But he was no fighting man – all his life he had been concerned with the rarefied world of business. Yet whatever his shortcomings, if the so-called Gin Drinkers Line broke there would be fighting to do.
