Dressed for business in his cut, jeans, black t-shirt and bandana around his head, Big steps further into the room until his hand caresses the back of our daughter’s sleeping head and he bends down to give me a quick kiss. “How’s my girls doin?” He takes a step away, sets the flowers on her dresser, and then leans against her changing table, his arms folded over his chest.
Out of habit, I continue to stroke Harley’s onesie-clad back. “We’re good. You were only gone for half an hour. You know you should get back to work. We will be fine.”
Big grumbles at my suggestion, his lip curling in disgust. “I don’t wanna work with you two here … and those flowers are from me.” He flips his hand in the direction of them before re-crossing his arms.
“You didn’t have to do that.” I flash him a genuine smile.
“Yeah, I did. A man’s supposed to give his woman a gift when she gives birth. I didn’t have time ‘til now.” He looks uncomfortable as his eyes swap with uncertainty from the flowers back to me.
Taking a closer look at the blooms, so he knows I’m actually paying attention to his gesture, I notice there are three roses inside a gray fairy vase. On the outside, there’s an engraving that I can’t read from this angle. They’re so breathtakingly beautiful that I do a girly dance on the inside. Fuck, he’s perfect most of the time. Um … okay, let’s be real, maybe fifty-fifty.
Meeting his gaze, I mutter, “They’re beautiful, Big.” And he offers me a megawatt grin that makes my dancing insides turn to mush. My heart thumps hard beneath my ribs.
Standing tall, he puffs out his chest proudly. “I’m glad you like ‘em, babe.”
“I do. But you really didn’t have to get me anything.”
Noncommittally, he shrugs. “I wasn’t sure what to get. Then I stopped at the florist and they said roses are Leech’s birth flower. And since pink’s your favorite color, and they’re three of us, I told ‘em to give ya three.”
I can’t believe he put that much thought into this. He really is sweet.
“Thank you,” is all I can seem to force out without going all weeping chick on him.
I thought, after Harley was born, I’d stop feeling so many emotions all the time. That I’d stop crying when I shouldn’t be. Nope. If anything, the shit’s just gotten worse. Yesterday, she made a face when she was pooping and I cried. Like, seriously lost it. Big called my midwife, and she said this is entirely normal. Thank God. For a second, I swear I’d been inhabited by aliens. She promised it should slowly get better. I gotta say, sooner, rather than later, would be preferred.
I take a deep breath.
“Don’t cry again, Sugar Tits.” He looks thoughtful.
Awe fuck! He tells me not to cry so now I’m gonna cry. Here it comes. These stupid waterworks. Tears start their descent down my cheeks and I don’t even try to stop them. My bottom lip trembles. Big wipes the wetness away as it falls, and I cling to Harley for comfort as more emotions plow through. Stupid. Fucking. Chick-mones.
“I gave Beth a job,” he says, returning to his spot, trying to distract me. I know why he’s doing it, but it seems to help nonetheless.
Using the back of my hand, I wipe more tears away, then rub them on my pajama pants. “When does she start?” I blubber.
“I dunno yet.”
How does he not know? When you hire someone, don’t you give them a start date? I know Beth had talked about applying for a job there. But the last I heard, Jonesy is still living at home, which means she’s helping take care of him. And I thought that I was…
“Where does that leave me? What kinda job did you give her? I was gonna run the office there. They need someone in the office to do phones and finances.” The brothers aren’t cut out for that. Gunz has been picking up the slack when he can, but their books are like the dump—a never ending mess of shit. It needs a total overhaul.
Big looks down at his booted feet.
This doesn’t sound good. My tears instantly dry up.
He bites his bottom lip. “I’m givin’ her your job.”
What?!
“What?” I whisper scream.
“You’re a mom. You need to be home with our daughter.” He lifts his head, determined gaze clashing with my raging one. Reflexively, my jaw clenches. “If you wanna work from home, I’m down with that. But I gave her your job, ‘cause you don’t need to be hangin’ ‘round there when ya should be home with our girl.”
Uhh!
Another round of harsh whispering imparts my lips. “I can’t believe you made this choice without consulting me.” He’s lucky that’s all I say when all that I want to do is ream him up one side and down the other.
Now he’s looking a bit squeamish. Do you see him? Shoulders hunched, a scolded look on his face. Good, he should feel sorry. He shouldn’t have done this. Why would he? It’s not like I can’t take care of our daughter and work from there. Jesus, what’s his problem? This isn’t the 1950s. I don’t have to be a good little housewife. Fuck, I’m not even a wife for Christ sake.
“I’m not goin’ back to work until after the fourth of July party,” he comments.
Okay, now I’m definitely out of the loop here. Since when are we having a party in less than two weeks? And why is he ignoring what I just said? I swear this man can be so damn frustrating. All I wanna do is knock him upside the head.
“What party?” I ask, trying to be a grownup and not throw a temper tantrum.
“The multi-club party for Harley’s birth and the fourth of July.”
“A what?” I can’t be hearing this. First, he brings me flowers, and now he’s throwing all of this at me. Those flowers don’t seem so sweet anymore. I’ll bet ya they were to butter me up.
“A party. All of the sisters have been helpin’ prepare for it. We’ve got all of our chapters comin’, and our support clubs.”
“Which support clubs?” If he says what I think he’s gonna say, he’s forgiven.
A flicker of anticipation sparks deep within.
Suddenly, Big’s not looking so admonished anymore. Damn, my voice must have given my excitement away. Way to screw yourself, Bink.
“The Corrupt Chaos and the Crimson Outlaws will both be there.”
Hell ya! He’s forgiven.
“Whisky? Bonez?” There’s no way I can hide my enthusiasm anymore. Sure, a party this close to giving birth isn’t ideal, but I miss my other Sacred Sisters. I love it when we can get together. And seeing Gunz’s brother again is always a nice surprise.
“Yes; she’ll be there. Along with Smoke’s new old lady that we haven’t met, yet. Although, Gunz said she seems meek but sweet.”
Can I get another hell yes?!
“That sounds great to me.”
I’m all out smiling now, and my rocking increases as my hand rubs Harley’s back. I can barely contain myself.
Perceptively, Big grins. “Great, Sugar Tits. That means you get to attend the party. Not plan or help with it, in any way. You can call Whisky and talk about it. But you’re not to try and take Deb’s reigns. I almost didn’t tell ya ‘cause of that look you’re giving me right now.”
I don’t know what kinda look he’s talking about. Okay, maybe I do. It’s one of pure determination. A hundred different planning concepts are flying through my head at once; from food, to set up, to sleeping arrangements, to club whores. It’s nonstop. I can’t help it. I’ve been doing this for so long, it’s like a second nature to me. Not that I don’t trust Deb. I do. She’s capable, and a damn good old lady. However, I’m a huge control freak and like to be in charge. Guess that’s something Big and I both have in common.
For the sake of not arguing, I let it go—for now. Honestly, I’ll just talk to Deb and she’ll let me help. There’s no use in getting Big all pissed off when I’m gonna get my way, anyhow. “Okay, so what about the job stuff? We’re having a party for the fourth and I get to see my sisters. Now, you’ve given Beth my job. Care to elaborate on what else I’m supposed to do with my time o
ther than be a mom?” My eyes cast down on our sleeping princess, hugging her a little tighter. “As much as I love our daughter, I need more to challenge me.” I lift my gaze to meet his so he knows I mean business.
“What about that book stuff?” he suggests.
“Book stuff?” I think I know what he’s referring to, although I can’t be sure.
“I’ve heard Jez, Pixie, and the other sisters talk to ya about writing a book or two. Why don’t ya do that? I’m sure ya could. Plus, ya get to stay at home with our girl.”
Hum … I don’t know. Not sure if I could write a book. Maybe one day.
Yeah, the sisters have tried to persuade me to write a book about a hundred different times. I’ve always enjoyed writing. And let’s be honest: most people dream of writing a book in their lifetime. It’s just that most of us don’t have the time or the talent to do it. Now that I’ll have the time, I’m not so sure about the talent. Guess that’ll just be another thing I need to seriously contemplate.
Holding his stare, I tuck an errant strand of my hair behind my ear before responding. “I’ll think about it.” I feel that’s a just answer, and the best he’s gonna get right now.
Delivering a stiff nod of acquiesce, Big stops leaning against the table and takes Harley from my grasp. Cradling her in his arms, he then lays her sleeping form in her crib, which we rarely use at this point. For a second, I want to fight with him about taking her from me, but I don’t. I know she can’t be held all the time. If only I could convince Gunz of that then we’d be good to go. Fat chance, though. He’s over here daily to get his grandpa fill. Beth’s even tagged along with him a time or two. I guess they’ve really been taking this friendship, no being alone on the compound, seriously. Since Harley’s been born, I haven’t had much time to talk to her about it. And when I do, she’s vague. I don’t think Beth wants to worry me any more than I already am. That’s who she is, which I respect, even if it irks me sometimes. At least they’re getting along, so that’s all that matters to me.
Okay, that’s enough about them. Between Beth and Jo, I’m tapped out with men drama. Let’s just say Deke and Jo are friends with benefits. However, neither of them seem to communicate very well with each other, which makes them sound worse than Big and I when they finally butt heads. Two days after Harley was born, Deke was over and Jo stopped by. They barely said two words to one another. It was all heated stares and angst. For a moment, I almost called them on their bullshit, until Big intervened and ordered Deke to run some cockamamie errand for him that he couldn’t refuse. At least Jez, Pix, Candy Cane, Deb, and Dixie are in quasi-normal relationships, if you’d consider dating a biker normal. That’s for you to decide.
After he’s finished, Big returns to my chair and offers me his hands to help me up. I accept them, and into his awaiting arms I go. He doesn’t waste a second to have me wrapped in a hug, his lips pressing to my forehead. “Let me go run ya a bath and wash ya,” he murmurs, fanning his warm breath over my scalp. The hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. Goosebumps sprout down my arms and legs. I move closer, my nose nuzzling his pecs between the flaps of his cut. My arms encircle his waist, holding tight, fingers clutching at the base of his leather.
For as much as we’ve been through, it never ceases to amaze me where we’ve ended up. From growing up with this man and him helping raise me, to him falling in love with me, I eventually fell in love with him. We’ve literally been through hell and back. Drawing in a luxuriating, breath the scent of him intoxicates my scenes just like it has from the beginning of time. The leather, musky, clean, all-man smell centers me. He’s my home. This is where we belong.
Nodding to his chest, I briefly kiss him there in the valley between his pecs. “Only if you let me wash you, too.” I bargain, only because I want my hands on him and my mouth wrapped around the growing erection that just started digging into my belly.
A pleased growl rumbles in his chest, reverberating in my ear. “Alright, Sugar Tits. I’ll—” Big’s words cease as he swiftly scoops me into his arms and carries me from the room like a damsel in distress. Not wanting to wake our daughter with a squeal, I bite my lip to suppress any noise, then bury my face in Big’s throat. I kiss him there, and he strides faster.
“I love you, and please remember that when I fuck your mouth, you keep kissin’ me like that and I won’t be able to control myself.” His tone’s husky—strained.
With my confidence boosted another notch and my nipples hardening, I lave my tongue across his smooth neck. A potent growl emerges from his throat as he enters the bathroom. The edge of his heel kicks the door shut as he propels us forward. Hurriedly, Big deposits me on the toilet lid and makes work of shucking off his clothes. His belt is yanked free, clanking to the floor, jeans and boxers dropped to his ankles. After removing his cut and laying it on the sink basin, his cock bobs hot and heavy between his muscled thighs, pointing straight at me as he lifts his shirt from his head. Greedily, I take full advantage of this opportunity and lean forward to swallow him in one gulp.
Hips pitching on instinct, Big roars his pleasure with his jeans locked around his ankles, shirt now tossed onto the ground. Thick fingers slide through my hair, controlling the tempo of my sucks. I wrap my hand around the base of his shaft, using the other to fondle his weighted balls. The musky scent of him is enough to drive a woman insane.
“That’s it. Oh yeah. Shit. Fuck.”
Big’s words tumble from his parted lips in a jumbled mess. I knew he needed this—desperately so. Though he’d refused to give in until now. If I can’t have pleasure, then he can’t have pleasure; that’s what he’s been disputing. Finally, I win. Finally, I get to suck him into oblivion. I’ve missed his cock so much.
Hungrily, I let him fuck my mouth. The velvet steel slips between my lips, hitting the back of my throat, and moves down it before gliding back out. Unintelligible words begin to fall from his lips in pure rapture. His chest heaves for breath. On its own accord, my pussy gets wet. The impulse to touch myself fills me with an urgent need. But, once again, I stomp it down and savor Big’s thick cock thrusting into the back of my throat as his body runs on instinctual need. Massaging his balls in my palm, I tug on them, and he fucks my face harder, his hips snapping with practiced precision. I can take it. I can take him all, and that in itself makes me moan around his substantial girth. The fingers embedded in my hair tighten. Glancing up, I watch Big lose himself entirely in the moment by letting down his guard and allowing himself to revel in the pleasure I give him.
Big’s heavy-lidded eyes watch my swollen lips take him in and out my mouth. His Adam’s Apple bobs in his throat. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn … beautiful,” Big buries himself, balls deep, and holds himself there, cutting off my air supply. “Just perfect,” he growls before allowing me to breathe once more. Air rushes into my lungs as his maddened thrusts slow and he lazily feeds me inch after inch of steel. Sliding until just the tip of his cock is resting between my lips, Big stops for me to suck. Swirling my tongue around his crown, my gaze locks with his. Languidly, I lave the thick head and he throws his head back, expelling a lusty groan. I do it again, and am rewarded with the same result. Damn, he’s sexy.
Hand wrapped around his shaft, I use my teeth and gently nibble around the ridge of his head. His legs quake, stomach quivering, even the fingers in my hair begin to tremble. I nibble some more, applying a bit more pressure on the underside. The tremors soon wrack his entire frame as a continual string of shallow moans fill the room. Turning it up a notch, my teeth lightly rake his shaft from base to tip, and a thick drop of pre-come is my treat. Closing my mouth over his slit, I savor the salty tang and close my eyes to moan around it. More wetness pools between my legs. My nipples bud to sharp points in my bra, aching for attention.
“That’s it. Taste me. Do you like that?” His voice is so husky I can barely understand him.
Swirling my tongue around his slit and poking it in just a little, I nod my head, moaning in
my throat to let him know how much I love it—how much I love him.
“Tell me.” He jerks his cock free from my mouth with a pop, but I still have a hold of his shaft and balls. I squeeze them both, trying to yank him back to my lips. His hips refuse to budge. “Tell me,” he repeats, sharply.
“I love sucking your cock.” I’m not ashamed to admit it.
“Why? Why do you love sucking it?” He’s eyes are pleading with me to be honest; to feed his kink.
Not wanting to disappoint, I lick my lips, then bite my bottom lip before responding. “It turns me on.” It comes out breathy. Fuck, this is turning me on even more. I squirm in my seat at the rough sound of my voice.
Big rewards my answer by smearing his pre-come over my wet lips like a glossy balm. Insatiably, I clean with a needy groan, delighting in the taste. He does it again, then pitches his hips forward to breach my mouth with his cock, sliding it home. Heeding his advances, I nibble the head even more, knowing that he loves it. And he repays me for my efforts when his body quaking starts all over again. He saws his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes raptly watching me work him. Shit, this is such a powerful position. If we hadn’t experimented with blow jobs, he would have never known this trips his trigger. And boy, oh, boy, am I glad it does. I just hope his knees don’t buckle.
“Ohhh, shiit.”
Big loses all control when I suckle his fat cockhead between my lips, my teeth grazing the smooth, round tip. Soon, he begins to curse between frantic breaths, and I revel in bringing him closer to the brink. Wrapping his fist around my hair, my scalp burns as he tugs it harder, trying to fuck deeper into my eager mouth. Though, I refuse to let him as I bite a little on the tip and his cock swells, balls drawing tighter in my hand. Then, that’s all she wrote. Roaring like a beast, Big’s back arches, thrusting his chest into the air as the first burst of come hits my tongue. Then it is soon followed a longer rush of his essence. Like the ravenous woman I am, I swallow my man’s offering and continue to suck on him until the very last drop.
The Diary of Bink Cummings: Vol 4 (MC Chronicles #4) Page 7
