“Yes, all of them! Don’t sound so damned surprised Charles, we’ve had this conversation so many times I could recite it in my sleep! They have been tearing apart this household since the day they were born. Their birth is a stigma this family has carried for nearly two decades! I can’t go out in public without getting looks, even now!”
“Hush your mouth Cordelia! Do you want them to hear you?”
She dropped her voice, only slightly. “Do you honestly think I care? I’ve never pretended to love your bastard children, Charles, and I don’t intend to start.”
I knew I should leave, but I found myself rooted in place.
There was a thud as his fist connected with something solid. “Not another word! I won’t hear it Cordelia, they are my children and I will not send them away because you can’t keep your society cronies at bay!”
“Nicolas is your child too, Charles. Or had you forgotten? It would sure seem so by the way you have virtually ignored his presence since the day Nathalie was born.”
“How many times are we going to rehash the same discussion? He is a boy and does not require the same kind of attention the girls need. You know that! You are his mother, after all.”
“Yes, and as his mother I’ve been forced to endure his pain at having a father who could not care less what he does!” She seemed to compose herself a bit, for her voice took on something of a charming quality. “You’ve already sent Adrienne away. We both know it was the right thing to do, for everyone. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for her, and the girls, if all of them could go to school together? You know how they miss one another. And it would make life easier here, too. You know I’m right.”
Charles was quiet for a moment, but when he spoke his rage was renewed. “Get out of my office before I divorce you!”
Cordelia didn’t falter. “I will make their lives hell, and you know it. Every day, they will have to deal with the fact they live in a house where their only mother hates them. When I am done with them, Charles, they will beg you to send them away.”
The door to the office opened abruptly as Cordelia stormed past, without seeing me.
I decided to talk to Charles later.
The next day, I was zipping up my small suitcase in the garçonierre, when Lucie knocked politely on the door to my room.
I thought she was likely the only Deschanel child who would have bothered to knock.
“I’m sorry if I startled you,” she said in her usual, sweet-natured way after I invited her in. I had always liked Lucie because she reminded me of girls from another century: well-mannered, traditional, respectful, always believing the best in everyone. Her dress was as conservative as her speech, never revealing even a small preview of anything special. She was definitely the kind of child every parent dreamed about.
“No, it’s fine. Nicolas is in town this morning.” I didn’t clarify his failure to come home last night after our pub crawl.
She fidgeted awkwardly and it was apparent she felt very uncomfortable around me. “No, I was looking for you. There is a, well, a bit of a situation in the house… and, I don’t know how to handle it.”
Although she was not screaming and carrying on as one of her sisters might have, I could see she was deeply troubled. “What kind of situation?”
“Well…” She struggled against her nature to not say anything about someone unless it was going to be nice, but continued anyway, “it’s Cordelia. She is giving Adrienne a very hard time and I’m worried what might happen it if continues. Father left this morning, so there is no one to intervene.”
I knew it was not unusual for Cordelia to yell at the girls, and after yesterday I realized she went out of her way to do it. I didn’t really want to get involved, but there stood Lucie, appealing to me for help when she had never asked anything of me in all the time I had known her.
“All right,” I said finally. “What is it you think I should do?”
“Stop her! Create some reason to talk to Cordelia, some kind of distraction to get her to leave my sister alone.” Her face spoke of distaste at suggesting we make up a lie.
“I’ve never had a reason to speak with your stepmother before. She’ll see right through it.”
“No, she won’t. And if she does, at least it will get her to leave Adrienne alone for a while.”
I didn’t know what I could say to distract her, but I knew Lucie would not have come to me if there was anyone else who could help.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
They were in the parlor, Adrienne on one side and Cordelia on the other. Giselle stood near Adrienne, against the wall, looking helpless. Nathalie was in the doorway, ready to pounce. Lucie tailed close behind me, and as we walked into the parlor, no one seemed to notice our arrival.
“Stop lying to me!” Adrienne was yelling at Cordelia. Her small hands were balled into fists, her knuckles white. Her face was almost glowing red. “You told my father to send me away! You did something to him!”
“Oh, believe me, I wish I could take credit for this one!” Cordelia was standing ramrod straight, near the small table with crystal decanters of bourbon and gin. “I have been trying for years to convince your father to send you four away!”
“You’re just jealous!” Giselle accused. “You’ve always been jealous because he loves us more than you!”
Cordelia laughed. “Oh, you mean to tell me that you’re still naïve enough to believe I married your father for love? If I should be concerned for anyone, it’s your brother. He is the firstborn and gets nothing from his father.”
“That’s not our fault,” Nathalie joined in. She sounded much calmer than her sisters. “We love Nicolas, too. We didn’t ask for any of this.”
“We didn’t ask for any of this. We’re innocent children. Don’t blame us, it’s not our fault,” Cordelia mimicked in a childish singsong voice. “It’s getting old! You can’t be blamed for your birth perhaps, I’ll give you that. But your continued presence here is selfish! You are the reason for the fractured relationship between your father and brother. You are the reason your father and I are always at odds. You are the reason your father has had two heart attacks in the past two years. You!”
“No, Cordelia,” Adrienne asserted, “you are the reason for all of those things. Your hatred and bitterness is the reason this family is so screwed up!”
Cordelia decided to take a different approach. “Why do I even bother trying to talk to the four of you? You make a fine pack of wolves.” She moved her gaze to each girl, slowly. “What could be worse than a prude, a slut, a halfwit, and a know-it-all? I pity you.”
I felt Lucie leave my back as she joined her sister Giselle. I decided to use this opportunity to speak up.
“Cordelia,” I interjected, walking into the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”
In that first moment she turned her attention to me, her face looked purely evil. Then the features slowly started to settle, and she looked normal again. “Yes, Oz, and what is it I can do for you?”
My hesitation to interrupt the confrontation bought me a little time to concoct a strategy. “I’m finished with the audit. I just need a signature from you and I can take the results back to the office.”
“Of course,” she said curtly. She straightened her double-breasted coat and looked back at Adrienne for a moment. “Have a safe trip, darling. The house won’t be the same without you.”
After retrieving the paperwork from my briefcase, I sat with Cordelia to review the dozens of pages I had already reviewed with Charles the day before. She dutifully signed each page, then left me sitting at the table, alone.
I detected a presence behind me, and turned to see Adrienne sitting in a high-backed chair near the fireplace. Her face was stoic. I thought I saw her trembling slightly.
“She’s a damned fool,” I heard her say, her voice flat and devoid of emotion.
I said nothing.
“If she thinks she can take my father from me, she is wrong.”
&nb
sp; “Can I get you something? Water?” I asked, finally.
One of the maids appeared at the doorway to announce Adrienne’s limo was ready. I heard her sisters crying in the background.
Adrienne looked up and she noticed me for the first time. “You've always been good to me. I appreciate what you tried to do. But this isn’t your battle, Oz. You can’t fix this. If you really want to help, you’ll make sure Nicolas understands the truth. You’re the only one he listens to.”
She slid forward off of the leather chair and walked out of the room.
12- Adrienne
Adrienne packed in a hurry, made easier because she didn’t own much in the first place. She had already spoken with Charles Santiam, their nearest neighbor, and he agreed to help her find a bus to New Orleans. Feeling slightly guilty for the imposition, she knew the only reason he risked Angelique’s disdain was Adrienne’s help in taking their critically ill son to the hospital several months back.
How to say goodbye? It would be difficult. Angelique and Anne would not understand. They thought only of how Adrienne’s predicament affected them, for better or worse. Adrienne always sought to see the best in both of them, remembering the moments they had soothed her and provided the comfort of family. Lately it was becoming harder to shake the hurt she felt at watching them act like she was casting aside their feelings when she looked for answers. How had she borne three years of it without going mad?
Jesse, that was how.
That was what she really feared, the loss of Jesse or the risk of him misunderstanding, being heartbroken at her decision to pursue her past. She suspected Jesse chased off Oz, but she wouldn't ask him and he hadn't given her any direct indications one way or another. Even if she was right, she knew she could not be angry with him. Jesse only sought to protect her.
“Nothing I will find changes my appreciation for everything you’ve done and the love you’ve given me,” she said aloud to the bag she zipped up. Clothes, book, papers, and the small amount of money she had saved.
More money than the paltry amount she had on her person would be waiting for her in New Orleans, and she would use what was necessary from that to fund her search. She was vaguely excited at the notion she was rich, but wondered more about her family, who had obviously been of some importance to have such wealth.
Deschanel. Adrienne Leigh Deschanel. It had a nice ring to it.
She still did not know what her starting point would be. She had signed the documents Oz forwarded to them, granting Jesse Power of Attorney, but only to stop the bickering. Jesse, for motives he did not state openly, did not wish for Adrienne to correspond directly with Oz. They both wanted the same thing, for their own reasons. In the end, she complied because it was the fastest route to diffuse the conflict, giving her space with which to execute her own plan. Power of Attorney didn’t take away her rights, did it?
Adrienne realized she didn’t know the answer, but she would stop at a library straightaway to find out. That’s what she did whenever she needed an answer to a question, and she always had so many questions and curiosities.
There was another way to find out, and that was to ask Oz himself. She tried not to think of him when making the decision to leave, because she didn’t want his presence in her mind to persuade her one way or another. Besides, she still had no idea what to say to him, or if he would even be receptive to her. He had worn an expression during the meeting, as if he were both pained and joyful to see her, two emotions at complete odds with each other. What had he said? That he couldn't put the pieces of her life back together for her?
Could not or would not?
She hoped the latter, for she could be persuasive. Oz Sullivan was the only person she knew before her accident, and he had no reason to be dishonest or withhold information from her. If he was hesitant now, it was because he was a professional and felt compelled to act accordingly. Whatever the case, he could not find out she had even the slightest remembrance of him. For one, the fractured images were few, and two, she was not sure how he would feel about her if he suddenly had to address those memories.
But surely he couldn’t refuse to help her if she came to see him with all her earthly possessions packed in a small, torn bag, looking to him as her only hope?
Adrienne had expected to be alone in the small house. A&A were at the market, and Jesse working.
Angelique saw the small bag, along with Adrienne’s flushed, excited face, and knew without asking what was going on.
“You were going to sneak out of here, weren’t you? You didn’t think it would be appropriate to inform any of us, your family, about this?” Her accusatory words shamed Adrienne.
“Angelique, this is something I have to do. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“Well, there is little hope of that now, Adrienne. I’m glad I came home early so I could stop you from this foolishness!”
Angelique acted betrayed, but what was she really thinking? This is my future mother-in-law, Adrienne thought. How will she seek to control me once I am legally bound to her son?
“Mother, you cannot stop me,” Adrienne asserted, standing taller. She never understood why that helped, but it did. “I love all of you, you know that, but it is unfair to expect I will never take this trip. That I will never try to solve this mystery of mine.” She continued, “And make no mistake. It is rightfully mine!”
Jesse’s mother looked taken aback by Adrienne’s boldness. She came slowly to Adrienne’s side and put her hand on the back of her neck in a motherly way. “My dear, you know I love you. You know Jesse would do anything for you. Please reconsider. Leaving would only destroy him, don’t you know that?” Guilt.
Adrienne said nothing.
“Sweet girl.” She saw the glint in Angelique’s eyes. “Please don’t break Jesse’s heart like this.” Then the tears. “He has done so much for you.”
“Yes, Mother.” Adrienne was not quite as transparent as they had always believed her to be. She was still the old Adrienne, though she couldn’t have known that, but had inherited the Deschanel skill at hiding her feelings when cornered. “I’m sorry for being so selfish.”
“Apology accepted, sweet girl. You’re still young, and you need to trust in me to provide guidance for you.” Angelique smiled a sad, knowing smile that said Adrienne still had much to learn. “I would never mislead you.”
When Angelique pulled her close and hugged her, Adrienne felt the tears kiss her cheek. She resisted the urge to stiffen. Crocodile tears, she thought. That’s all those are. I’m suffocating here. You are not preventing my leaving, only postponing it.
“Oh Jesse,” she whispered when Angelique left the room (her satisfied smile not lost on Adrienne).“I will come back for you and we will leave this place together. Your mother and sister can have my entire fortune if they will only leave us be.”
I have no friends, she realized. No one I can talk to, confide in. In many ways, I am utterly alone.
She would have to delay her trip until everyone in the house was satisfied she had put this behind her. In the meantime, she waited for the Santiams to come tell her Oz had called. She knew he would. He had to. Patience is a virtue, Father Cass always said when she would fidget in the confessional line. Well, she did not feel very virtuous.
Later that evening, Angelique had another episode. This time, she aimed an arrow at Adrienne’s head. This was the first time one of her attacks endangered Adrienne, and she was absolutely terrified, especially in light of their earlier conversation.
Adrienne had been sitting in her chair facing the window, lost in thought, when she heard an unusual sound behind her. She turned to see the tip of the arrow pointed at her head.
“You are not leaving my son!” Angelique screamed, as she strained to pull the decrepit bow handle further back.
Adrienne could not run. The room was small and Angelique blocked the doorway. Having no other options, she screamed for Jesse at the top of her lungs.
He came up behi
nd his mother, his eyes wide with panic. Angelique’s hands trembled with the strain, and the arrow looked like it might slip from the aged weapon. Angelique hissed to Jesse, “If you touch me, I will let go.”
Adrienne met Jesse’s eyes and she pleaded silently with him to find a way to diffuse the situation. He didn't know about her conversation earlier with Angelique, and so could not understand Adrienne's fear that Angelique seriously meant to kill her. Later, if Adrienne survived this incident, Angelique would apologize profusely, and hold her tight, crying over her latest actions. But in this state, Adrienne did not trust any of that was possible.
Finally, in a move that horrified Adrienne, Jesse stepped in front of his mother. She dropped both the bow and arrow to the floor. Her eyes started to twitch and then she fell, but not before Jesse caught her in his arms.
“Are you okay?” he asked Adrienne.
She would always believe Angelique’s rational mind was the one who wanted to kill her; would have, had Jesse not foolishly stepped in front of the arrow. “No, I am not okay. But please take care of your mother. She needs you more right now.”
An hour later, Jesse and Adrienne sat by Angelique’s bedside as she slept.
“Maybe it’s time you consider getting your mother some help,” Adrienne suggested, warily, as she watched Angelique softly twitch in her bed. This was a subject she waited three years to broach.
“She doesn’t need help,” Jesse replied. He turned to Adrienne. “She needs us.”
“She almost killed me tonight, Jesse. One of these days, she is going to really, truly kill someone... or herself! Do you want that on your head? When you could have done something about it?” Adrienne could not stop these things from rolling off her tongue; they had been building for so long.
“You don’t know her!” he hissed, causing Adrienne to flinch.
Jesse never lost his temper before. He took a breath, and continued, only slightly calmer, “You don’t know her like I do, Adrienne. She has given up so much for everyone and just wants us to be happy.” He turned away from her this time. “You are right about one thing. If she does end up killing herself, or someone else, it will be our fault.”
St. Charles at Dusk: The House of Crimson and Clover Series Prequel Page 11
