by Lauren Runow
"That doesn't explain why you're here. I know damn well she didn't send you. So why?"
"Go away. None of that matters." I try to turn away from him again.
"It matters to me. Why did you come to my club?"
I don't respond.
"Does she know you're here?"
I shake my head.
"Did you look into joining other clubs?"
I shake my head so slightly I pray he doesn't notice. The way he moves closer tells me he did. "Why did you come here, Mackenzie?"
I bite my inner lip again, not sure what to say.
His hand comes up to my face. "Did you come here just for me?" he asks, his finger under my chin to hold my gaze to his.
I nod ever so slightly.
"Why?"
I finally find my voice. "Isn't it obvious?"
"You could have fucked any guy here the other night. Why me?" I try to turn away but he doesn’t let me. "How long have you wanted this?" He touches my lower lip. "How long?"
I bite my inner lip harder; I'm sure making it even more obvious. His fingers touch my bottom lip, pulling it out of my grasp.
"How long?"
"Awhile," I whisper.
He leans in, pushing up against me, the hard bulge in his pants taking me by complete surprise.
"How long's awhile?" he murmurs against my neck, sending shivers through me. He laughs softly. "That long, huh?"
I don't respond.
"Since college?" he asks and presses his lips against my shoulder. "Since high school?" He makes his way up my neck to my ear. "Tell me, am I your fantasy?"
I quiver from the chills covering my body. "Yes," I breathlessly respond, and without warning his lips meet mine.
We kissed at the club, but not like this. This is real. This is him, kissing me, knowing who I am.
A rush I've never imagined, but have dreamed about for years, flows through me. When he pulls back, I almost whimper.
"I'll be your fantasy, but for tonight only. Then you never come back." He looks me dead in my eyes. "Deal?"
I'm not sure if I should jump for joy or cry at his odd statement. I can't read if he wants this, too, or if this is just for me.
God, I hate being a girl, always questioning everything more than I need to. This is sex. I'm at a sex club. My dream guy is offering me exactly what I want. I know I shouldn't question it so I stare him in his eyes and reply, "Deal."
His hand meets with mine and he walks me to the exit.
"What are you doing?" I timidly ask.
"This is your fantasy, not theirs. I don't want people seeing you." He leads me into the changing area.
My head spins in confusion. "How come you don't want people to see me? You put on quite a show on Thursday."
"That was different." He pulls me into his arms.
I ask, "How was that different?"
"Because I didn't know who you were." He pushes my hair away from my face.
"That doesn't really answer my question."
"If I’d known it was you last time, I never would have put you on display like that."
I lean back, ready to argue, but he places a finger over my lips. "I know. Absurd double standards, but don't shoot me. I am who I am, and I protect the ones I care about."
I wish we didn't have these masks on. It's club rules, so I don't push but I’m dying to see his face so I can read each expression for what it’s meant to say. My stomach flutters in anticipation when I realize wherever he plans on taking me we won’t have to wear them.
“Get dressed. I’ll be at the door.” He kisses my cheek.
I put on my outfit and smooth the material, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. This is different than last time, and I hope I don’t make a fool of myself when we’re alone.
He’s waiting at the exit, fully dressed and twirling his keys when I exit the area. With a quick lift to his eyebrows, he opens the door, holding it for me and saying goodbye to the bouncer.
He removes his mask, and I do the same. My heart pounds as I glance down to make sure I don’t trip, because I can barely feel my legs I’m so excited.
I bring my hands together, worrying them while I try to focus on walking and breathing at the same time.
“Hey.” Connor stops, cupping my head in his hands. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.”
His lips softly touch mine before he takes my hand and walks me to his car. After I sit down, my head drops to the seat as I try to calm my nerves in these brief seconds alone.
The ride is quiet and short. I feel him looking at me a few times, and the laugh he lets out doesn’t help my jumbled thoughts.
“You sure weren’t this nervous on Thursday,” he says, parking the car and placing a hand on my knee.
“You didn’t know who I was.” I kick myself after the words slip out.
He pauses, like he’s thinking to himself. “You’re right. I didn’t know it was you.”
The way he looks at me takes me by surprise. He’s not mad, but the smile on his lips makes my heart pound in a different way. I’d die to know what he’s thinking, but he opens the door, exiting before I work up the nerve to ask.
We don’t see anyone as we enter his building. When the elevator stops and the door opens, I have to talk myself through the simple action of walking so I don’t lose my shit and fall on my face.
He unlocks his apartment door and steps back, motioning for me to enter first. I mentally pinch myself to make sure this is actually happening.
It’s dark, and to my dismay, he doesn’t turn on the lights. Instead he grips my hand and walks me to his bedroom. The streetlamp lights the room through gaps in the blinds. It’s enough to see him but not enough to bring everything to life.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
Before I can respond, his lips meet mine, and his hands roam down my arms and around my waist, scrunching up my dress and pulling it off over my head.
With my arms still raised, he trails his fingers down to my elbows, past my shoulders, and along my sides to my waist, toying with the top of my panties.
Since I didn't think I'd be going back to the club, I only bought one pair of sexy lingerie. I bite my inner lip, hoping my matching bra and panty set with black lace turns him on.
"I like this," Connor says, slipping his fingers around the thin waistband and sliding the panties down my thighs.
When he's on his knees in front of me, I glance down at him in awe.
"You were sexy last time, but this is more you," he says, taking my hands and wrapping them around his neck.
My mind goes completely blank as I gaze at the man I've loved for so long, on his knees while I'm naked in front of him.
He smiles and his eyes light up, shaking his head slightly like he can’t believe what he’s about to say. "While I was at my parents’ house, before I knew you were there, I had a moment where I licked my lips, searching for any lingering taste of you."
I stop breathing.
The sexy as sin grin he gives me before leaning in, wrapping my leg around his shoulder, completely does me in. His hands wrap around my waist, making sure I'm steady before his warm, slick tongue slowly makes its way up my pussy, spreading me using only his mouth.
I can’t tell if it's this position, the way his tongue dances around my clit, or knowing that Connor, the Connor Hayden, is licking me, but instantly the hunger for more makes my worries fade away. Excitement rushes through me and no matter how much I fight it, it's fighting right back. Making my world brighter and lighter until it's there.
Pure heaven.
The most intense feelings surround my soul, lifting my world higher than the space around me, far away from every light imaginable and slowly releasing its grip on me, floating me back down to earth one soft illumination at a time.
I don't make a sound. Not one. I can't. I’m frozen in my own world until Connor guides me to the bed, lies on top of me, and kisses all the life back in.
I lift my arms to wrap them
around him, but he stops me.
"I want this to be your night, but let me do it my way. I promise I’ll worship your body the only way it deserves, making up for the way I didn't last time we were together.
"Connor—"
"Shh. Trust me."
His fingers intertwine with mine and remove them from my hold around his neck.
"I want you to keep your hands on the bed and only on the bed. Don't touch me. Not because I don't want you too, but because I want to do everything. I don't want your help in any way."
I nod, gripping the sheets on either side of me with my arms spread wide.
"I swear I'll make it worth it," he whispers before kissing me again.
My arms instinctively move to wrap around his neck, and he pulls back, lifting one eyebrow. My hands drop to the bed, and he lowers himself, kissing down my neck and over to my shoulder, where he pulls my bra down.
When my breast pops free, his warm mouth takes in my tight bud, licking it before moving to the other one.
Tingles flood my body when he reaches behind my back, unhooking my bra, then sliding it off my arms.
He sits up on his knees, leaning back and staring at my naked body. I instinctively move to cover myself but the expression on his face stops me.
He's liking this. Hell, he's more than liking this. He takes in every inch of my bare skin. I've never felt so sexy and appreciated in my entire life.
He licks his lips, and I remember his admission of wanting to taste me last night. Our eyes meet, and he licks them once more, showing me the slightest tilt to his lips in pleasure.
I can't help but take in his shirtless figure. My heartbeat races when he unbuckles his belt, pulls it out of the loops, then unbuttons the top button.
I'd think he was teasing me, but it’s more like he's thinking about something. I wish I was a mind reader, so I could hear exactly what he's thinking.
He slides his pants down, and his cock springs free.
After reaching for a condom, he stops short of opening it. "I've always worn one of these. I know you're clean and on birth control because it's club rules, and you know I'm the same...." He pauses, looking at me for a few breaths. "I don't want to wear one right now. I don't feel it's right to be with you wearing a barrier like this."
My eyes fill with tears. He gets it. He gets me. And in this moment I know this is truly my fantasy.
I sit up, and we kneel facing each other.
"I don't want you to use one either," I whisper and reach up to kiss him, the first time I’ve done so. It is so exhilarating, kissing him the way I've always wanted, the way I’ve dreamt of doing for years.
He lowers me to the bed, holding onto each one of my hands, stretching my arms wide.
He rises only enough to position himself correctly, then pushes inside me, caressing my insides with his bare cock.
I moan deeply, white-knuckling the sheets and arching my back.
Connor's quick to meet my lips with his, holding my face as he slides in and out of me in the most addictive, seductive, mind-blowing way.
I pull my arms in but he shakes his head ever so slightly, his lips never leaving mine. His elbows open wider, indicating for me to keep my arms in place so I do.
Up, down, back and forth. I can't get enough, yet I can't do anything about it.
He's in complete control and I’m not able to bring on my orgasm I so deeply crave. He tortures me, sliding in and out, applying only enough pressure to bring me to the edge but not tip me over.
When he moves, I feel the difference of bare skin, and I'm that much closer to what I want—no!—where I need to be.
He doesn't care. He maintains his rhythm, pushing higher and slightly harder with every thrust.
I try to scream, but his mouth covers mine, swallowing every sound I make. I've never felt so helpless yet so taken care of in my entire life. Every movement he makes is for me. Only meant to take me higher than I was seconds before.
My breathing is so ragged, I can barely contain it anymore but he doesn't let go. His tongue dances with mine, matching the movements his cock makes inside me.
I can't breathe. I'm so out of my mind, I'm going crazy.
He pulls back and looks into my eyes when he says, "Now," pressing hard into me, causing me to explode, making my entire world lift once again.
5
Mackenzie
We lie there for a few minutes before getting up, and getting dressed. When I slide into my shoes, he kisses my shoulder. There isn’t an awkward moment shared as he holds my hand, leading me to the front door.
When we exit his place, we walk in silence to his car, where he opens the passenger door for me. I get in and look at him as he leans down to rest his hand on my knee. Our eyes meet for the first time in open light from the streetlamp above and I love the smile on his face.
"Was I able to deliver your fantasy?" he asks, rubbing circles on my knee.
I let out a small laugh. "Yes, I think that box can be checked."
I take in a sharp breath, kicking myself for mentioning the list, but he skips right over it, thinking I'm talking about a metaphorical list and not one I have pinned to my wall at home.
"You won't go back to the club then?"
His question throws me for a loop. But it’s more than the question; it’s the look on his face when he glances at the mask on his dashboard. He looks torn, and for the third time tonight I wish I was a damn mind reader.
That was our agreement, but after what we just shared, I didn't think he’d hold me to it. I try to hide my sadness. He's sticking to what we agreed and I should be thankful.
I reluctantly nod. "I won't come back."
He leans in to kiss me one last time before closing the door and driving back to where my car is parked.
The upcoming goodbye has my stomach in knots all over again. How awkward is it going to be to tell him, “Thanks for fucking me and being my fantasy. I guess I’ll see you later.” I drop my head back against the headrest.
Like everything else he’s done tonight, he surprises me when he places his hand on mine and rubs his thumb slightly back and forth. He glances my direction and I see understanding written all over his face.
Once he’s parked, I lean in to kiss his cheek but he reaches up to hold my face to give me an actual kiss, the perfect kiss goodbye.
Flush, I turn to open the door, but he stops me. "Why don't you give me your number? Text me when you get home, so I know you made it okay."
My inner little girl jumps up and down in my seat but I try to calm her down and reach for the phone he's holding in his hand. After dialing my number, I hit send and watch as the phone next to me lights up.
"Done," I say, handing it back to him with a small victory smile on my face.
"Have a good night."
"You too, Connor."
In my car, I program his number under the name Last Chance, beaming from the best night of my life.
When I arrive, I text: I made it home.
He responds: Thank you for letting me know and for an amazing night.
I feel like I’m on cloud nine, leaving me nowhere near able to sleep, even though it’s well past midnight. I want to scream to the world that I just had the night of my life, but I can’t. Unfortunately, there’s no one I can call and tell, so I turn to something I haven’t done in years. I pull out my diary.
Flipping through my last few entries makes me laugh out loud. I hold it to my chest as my face beams with glee. If my fourteen-year-old self could see me now.
Almost every entry is about Connor, and when I pick up my pen, my face starts to ache from smiling as I write:
Dear Diary,
My life is complete. Whatever happens now can happen, and I'll be okay with it, because nothing, and I mean nothing, will be better than what I experienced tonight.
Mackenzie
The next morning my phone dings with an incoming call, and I want to scream out loud when the screen flashes Last Chance. I though
t last night was the best night of my life but now that he's calling me today I'm filled with the hope of the unknown.
"Hey, Connor," I say nonchalantly.
"Morning. I hope you slept well."
I want to laugh but bite my lip before he hears it. If he only knew just how well I slept once I was able to. "I did, thanks to you." I couldn't help myself.
I love the sound of his laugh that tickles my ears in response.
"I talked to the girls in the apartment below me, and they want to meet you."
"Really?" I’m way too excited by this news. But it's not just about the apartment, it's the thought of being close to him.
I can sense the playfulness in his voice when he responds, "They're expecting your call. I'll text you the number."
"Okay." There's a pause. "Hey, Connor...?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"Anytime. Keep me posted on how it goes.”
I arranged to meet the girls the next day at their apartment. Nervously, I knock on the door, praying they'll like me.
The door opens to three girls, all as excited to meet me as I am to meet them.
Chantel, Katy, and Robin introduce themselves one by one. The vibe I'm getting from them is promising, and my fear lessens as they invite me to sit down.
Each is beautiful in her own way and a guy could find his perfect match among them. Memories of Connor saying they weren't his type cross my mind. That isn’t possible. These girls are everyman’s type. Slender, pretty, and from the little conversation we've had, I'd say they’re all intelligent. Each one is either working toward a degree or has already landed a good job in their chosen field.
After chatting only a few minutes, they eye each other, then turn to me with big smiles.
"Well, we’re sold. When can you move in?" Chantel asks for the group.
"Are you serious?" I’m surprised it was this easy.
"We were pretty much already sold by all the amazing things Connor said. If he wasn't gay, I'd say he has the hots for you," Chantel teases.
I let out a sharp laugh. "You think he's gay?"
Katy hits Robin's arm. "Ha! You owe me twenty bucks, bitches."
