“Most, if not all of you, know that Gina has accepted my marriage proposal.”
Mica moved next to Grace and though he still held Jules in his right arm, he wouldn’t meet her eyes as Sam spoke.
“There has been a change of plans,” Sam said. “Mica? Where are you?”
“Over here,” Mica replied with a nod.
“Ah. Well, your mother and I have decided that due to the new additions to the family—by that I mean Grace and Jules—we are going to move the wedding from the end of January to tonight.”
Gasps and excited whispers rippled through the crowd.
Grace felt Mica go rigid, as if he’d been turned to steel. She could swear he’d stopped breathing.
“Mica? Are you all right?”
He turned and handed Jules over, still not looking at her. He marched up to Sam, who had just leaned down to kiss Gina.
“We didn’t discuss this,” Mica said.
Gina pulled away from Sam’s embrace and smiled at Mica. “Because Grace has to leave so soon and all our friends were here tonight, we thought, why wait? Grace is family now and we wanted her to be part of our happiness.”
“This isn’t happening,” Mica mumbled.
Everyone applauded and rushed forward to congratulate the happy couple. Mica and Grace stood like pillars in a swirling river.
Apprehension gripped Grace. She’d expected to get to know the Barzonnis better once she’d introduced them to Jules, but without Mica’s love—without even some small sense that he cared about her—it didn’t feel right. Although Jules was related to them, she wasn’t. She hadn’t chosen to marry into this family, the way Maddie, Liz and Olivia had. She’d only just rejected Mica’s proposal yesterday. Deep down, she wished she could have accepted it, wished he’d given her a reason to, and that stung. Tears filled her eyes.
Mica’s attention was riveted on his mother and Sam. Grace could only wonder at the thoughts in his head. He’d been hit with a lot of change lately. First, his accident. Then Jules. Now his mother marrying for the second time.
She opened her mouth to say something to him, then closed it again. What was there to say? Grace turned away, her skirts swishing elegantly around her legs. She wished she felt the joy of wearing the Dior skirt, but instead, the only thing she felt was the heaviness in her heart.
CHAPTER TEN
MICA FOUND GRACE in the kitchen feeding Jules a bottle.
The place was a beehive of activity as the Indian Lake Deli catering staff that Gina hired was preparing the salad plates with baby spinach, Asian pear halves, pomegranate seeds and goat cheese. Olivia’s mother, Julia, was inspecting the crown roast of pork and a turkey that would be served.
Julia nodded toward Mica when he came in and was about to speak to him when one of the waitstaff asked her a question about the scalloped potatoes.
Mica looked over at Grace, who hadn’t seen him. Her eyes were on her baby.
When Mica walked up, Jules reached out a hand toward him. Mica offered his forefinger and Jules wrapped his little fingers around it, smiling as he continued to suck on the nipple.
“Are you mad at me?” Mica asked quietly, taking a tentative seat next to Grace at the table.
“No,” she said with a flicker of a smile. “I guess I got a bit emotional out there. And I had to feed Jules.” She paused for a moment and looked at him. “Mica, we have some serious decisions to make and as lovely as this party is, I really shouldn’t be here.”
“Where should you be?”
“In front of my computer helping my team. Better yet, I should be back in Paris. They’re winging too much without me. The tiniest detail makes all the difference. They know it and I know it.”
“I’m beginning to see that, too,” he replied, gazing at her holding their son. His chest swelled with pride and an unfamiliar yearning came over him. Even this morning he had found himself counting the hours until the party, when he’d see Grace and Jules. He’d tried to think of excuses to call her. When he did text her, she responded hours later, saying that she’d been with Mrs. Beabots. Then she was answering emails. Then she had to bathe Jules. She was always busy. He wasn’t.
And that bothered him, too.
Grace was incredibly driven and focused, and he had a hard time forcing himself to turn on the computer. His design ideas weren’t gelling, which reinforced his feelings of failure and inadequacy.
Grace would only marry a man who was worthy of her. He knew he was no prize. He had little to be proud of in his own life.
Except for this little boy, who was stealing his heart and soul by the second.
“Maybe we could figure out a work schedule for you over the next few days,” he offered.
“What do you mean?”
“Like I could take care of Jules all day so that you can work. My mom has a crib here, though I see that Zeke is already sleeping in it tonight. We’ve got a high chair and I could rent or borrow anything else you want for the rest of the week.”
Gratitude glistened in her blue eyes and settled on her soft lips. “Mica, that would be...wonderful. I’ve come up with some killer ideas just today that I can’t wait to sketch. I want to see what fabrics we’ve got in the workshop and what we could order.”
“So, this is good?” he ventured.
“Yes. Very.”
Jules had finished the bottle. Grace lifted him to her shoulder, threw a napkin over her blouse and patted his back. She continued rubbing his back until he burped. Once. Twice.
Gina came into the kitchen and looked around. “Oh! Grace. There you are! My photographer is here and I want photographs of all the women.” She held out her hand. “Mica. You take over with Jules while Grace comes with me.”
“Uh, sure,” he said.
Just as Grace was about to hand over Jules, the baby filled his diaper. “Oh, dear. Sorry, Gina, I have to change him first.”
Gina clucked her tongue. “For heaven’s sake. Mica can change him. Mica, use the laundry-room counter. Zeke is sleeping and I don’t want to wake him by taking Jules to my room. Okay?”
Grace looked concerned.
Mica touched her arm. “I’ve got this.”
He took Jules, and Grace reached into the big bag at her feet. “This is the last diaper. I forgot to buy more this afternoon. I’ll have to stop at the drugstore on the way home.” She hesitated, still holding the diaper. “You do know how to work these things, right?”
“Sure. Pull tab. Just like a beer.”
“Oh, Mica.” Grace groaned and rose, tucking the diaper under his arm. “There are baby wipes and diaper cream in the bag as well. Seriously, come get me if you need—”
“Grace. I got this,” he replied firmly. She helped hook the bag over his shoulder, then he carried Jules to the laundry room.
Mica grabbed a soft bath towel from the dryer and spread it on the counter. He laid down Jules and peeled off the little wool pants Grace had made.
“Your mom sure can sew, can’t she? These are quality trousers, old man.”
Jules squealed and shoved his fists in his mouth.
Mica pulled the tabs on the disposable diaper and took a step back. “Whoa! All that was in that little tummy of yours?”
Mica folded the diaper up and tossed it in the trash. “I’ll take that out right away.”
Jules had started squirming and laughing so much that he kept scooting the towel closer to the edge of the counter. Mica still needed to use the baby wipes. In order to reach the diaper bag while holding on to Jules, Mica took his numb hand out of the tuxedo jacket pocket where he’d tucked it and set it on Jules’s belly. He knew he had no strength to actually hold the baby in place, but he hoped that the pressure and weight of his arm would keep Jules safe long enough for him to grab the baby wipes.
Jules yelped and laughed.
Mica bent down and as he did, Jules kicked. Terrified the baby would fall, Mica focused on exerting his shoulder muscles, praying he’d strengthened them enough in physio to stabilize his arm for a few more seconds.
Jules remained on the counter, safe and sound.
“See that, buddy? We make a good team.”
Mica finished cleaning him up, then spread the protective diaper cream on the baby’s soft skin. He unfolded the clean diaper and shoved it under Jules’s bottom.
“Just a pull and...”
The diaper tab came away in his hand. “Nuts.”
He fastened the other side, but after trying to tuck the diaper into Jules’s pants, he saw it wasn’t going to work.
“I need tape,” Mica said, putting his left hand back on Jules’s tummy as he opened the overhead cabinet, where his mother kept glue, tape and other useful things.
“Hey! This is perfect. Clear Gorilla Tape. That will hold it on.”
Mica tore off a piece of tape using the dispenser cutter. The piece was longer than he’d wanted, but as far as Mica was concerned, the more the better.
He sealed the diaper, then tickled Jules’s side.
The baby grabbed Mica’s hand and laughed.
Slowly, Mica put Jules’s pants back on. He threw the baby wipes away and put the towel in the washer.
They returned to the kitchen just as Grace was coming back in.
“Photo shoot over?” Mica grinned.
“It is,” she replied and reached for Jules, who lifted his arms and let out a bloodcurdling scream.
Two of the waiters stopped what they were doing and stared at them.
Jules screamed some more, tears rolling down his face.
“What’s going on?” Grace asked. “Is he sick again?”
Mica shook his head. “He was fine while I was changing him,” he said meekly. “Though I did have a bit of a problem...”
Grace rushed into the laundry room and Mica followed. He pulled out another bath towel from the dryer. “Here, lay him on this. It’s still warm...and soft.”
Grace whisked off Jules’s pants. “What is this tape?”
“The tab came off. I improvised.”
Grace seemed to relax a smidge. “Oh. Well, it looks like some of the tape came off and got stuck to his skin.”
Guilt made Mica’s stomach churn. He should never have volunteered for a task he had never performed. Jules’s cries ripped into him.
“Oh, Jules! I’m really sorry. I thought it would stay put.”
“It’s okay. Get me the diaper bag and the diaper cream. Then a cotton swab.”
Mica followed her instructions. She put the cream on the swab and carefully slid it under the Gorilla Tape, easing Jules’s tender skin away from the strong adhesive. “There, now, sweetie, it’s all better.”
“I’m so sorry, Jules,” Mica said, smoothing the baby’s hair and touching the tears on his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He looked at Grace, whose fear was abating. “I’m really sorry. I just don’t know that much about babies. I helped Gabe a couple times with Zeke, but...”
“It’s okay, Mica. I’m new to this myself. Poor Jules has to put up with two parents who are still in on-the-job training.”
“I suppose most parents are like us, huh,” Mica said.
His stomach felt like lead.
He’d thought he was doing so well, but he clearly couldn’t be counted on to so much as change Jules’s diaper without a mishap.
Would he ever be of any worth or help as a father? He had a great deal to learn and fast. He’d trudged through a fog of family responsibility since he’d graduated college. His inertia, his lack of drive, had underpinnings that went further back than his accident.
Mica had settled.
Meanwhile, Grace had kept her standards high. She wanted a man who loved her. She wanted a successful career that brought her acclaim. She owned her ambition. Mica had a vague memory of dreams like that. When he was in college he’d thought his inventions could change the world.
But he’d given up.
He’d settled for his father’s dreams.
The accident was Mica’s first wake-up call. Jules was a shock and an awakening.
He knew for sure now that if he was going to be a real father to his son, he needed to make something of himself. Biding his time and ambling around the farm weren’t doing Mica any good and his inaction sure wasn’t building a future for Jules.
His responsibility to his child was paramount. He would learn how to care for Jules and how to do it properly. He could see it was going to take time.
Grace, however, wasn’t giving him much time. Nor was she considering all the pitfalls of her strategy. Bouncing Jules around from continent to continent might solve Grace’s career dilemma for the moment, but in the end, her solution would only cause heartache.
And Mica would do everything in his power to prevent that—for Jules and for himself.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MICA SIPPED A glass of Gabe’s chardonnay a half hour later as he surreptitiously watched Grace, with Jules perched on her hip, chat with Katia and Austin McCreary. Austin chucked Jules under the chin, while Grace told some story that caused Katia’s eyes to grow wide before she frowned in concern, then gave Grace a big hug and a smile.
Grace’s iPhone pinged, and she excused herself. As she greeted the person on the other end, she managed to kiss Jules’s cheek and nod at Maddie and Nate. Mica could tell from the shake of her head and her concentrated expression that this was yet another call from Paris.
Work.
Her design team needed her again. By his count, this was the third call this evening.
Shame pinched the edges of his conscience. He remembered how he’d ridiculed her when they were kids, telling her she had no idea what hard work was. His ego and pride at being a farm boy and a Barzonni had clouded his thinking.
He realized now there was nothing silly about her. She handled Jules and her overseas calls deftly. Her friendly manner was infused with caring and genuine affection for everyone present. She was open and happy and concerned about others. Even when they were kids, she’d been forthcoming about her opinions and goals. He just hadn’t listened. She was as ambitious as the rest of his brothers. Even his father.
It was Mica who lacked drive.
What does she need me for? Frankly, Mica knew what Grace needed. She’d told him so. If circumstances were different, he thought, he would have fallen in love with Grace already. But after the way she’d kept Jules from him, he couldn’t trust her. He could feel just about everything else for her—admiration, respect, attraction—but without trust, there could be no love.
Gina went over to Grace and insisted on holding Jules. Surprisingly, Mica’s son gladly went to his grandmother. He snuggled into her shoulder as if he’d known her his whole life.
Still on the phone, Grace sidled over to a wing chair near the roaring fire and dug around in Jules’s diaper bag. She withdrew her iPad and began swiping and tapping as she talked.
A few moments later, Grace put the iPad away and ended the call.
She went back over to Jules and thrust her hands out to him. Grinning, the baby nearly leaped into Grace’s arms. Sam came up, put his arm around Gina’s waist and whispered something in her ear. She nodded, excused herself and followed Sam to the kitchen.
Grace was then joined by her Aunt Louise, Cate Sullivan, Trent Davis and Sarah. Grace’s smile was luminous and inviting as she fell into easy conversation with them.
Mica had always marveled at how the talent for easy conversation and making friends had passed him by. His mother had worried about him when he was young, and he preferred the solitude of his room
or the mechanical shed to being with people. His father had accused him of brooding. Mica wasn’t quite sure why he seemed to better understand the workings of tractors and machinery than he did people.
People were a mystery to him.
Except for Grace.
He’d made fun of her and mocked her. Teased her. He’d been arrogant, thinking that his life, his way of doing things, was better than hers. He’d been young and self-centered. And he’d been wrong. Grace had always worked diligently toward her goals. She still did.
He felt a slap on the back. It was Rafe. He wore a white dinner jacket, tuxedo slacks and black dress cowboy boots. Rafe was munching on one of Olivia’s delicious macarons.
“What’s up, bro?” Rafe asked, not looking at Mica but keeping his eyes on Olivia as she took Jules from Grace’s arms.
“Not much.”
“Yeah?” Rafe popped the last of the cookie into his mouth. “You gonna make this wedding happen before Grace goes back to Europe?”
“Of course I am,” Mica replied, sounding more confident than he felt.
“Nate says you botched it,” Rafe said bluntly. “No ring, huh?”
“Will you guys knock it off about a ring?”
Rafe grimaced. “Uh-oh. This isn’t good.”
Mica’s eyes tracked slowly back to Grace. Suddenly, she looked like the most competent woman in the world. And beautiful, he thought fleetingly. It should be easy to trust her, to move forward and forget she’d kept Jules from him all these months. He could be a father now, so why should it matter so much? But the pain of being left out, ignored and made to feel immaterial in his own son’s life banged around in his head. And his heart.
That was the devil of it. His head and heart kept crossing signals. One minute he wanted her out of his life, for her to leave Jules with him not just for a few months, but forever. The next, he saw visions of holding her next to him every night for the rest of his life, as they watched Jules grow together.
If only Mica could change her mind about the importance of love in their relationship. If they got married now, maybe he could come to trust her eventually. In the grand scheme of their lives, it wasn’t all that much to sacrifice for Jules’s sake. His mother had done it.
His Baby Dilemma Page 11
