“You’re sounding rather embittered, Tootsie pop.”
“I may be. I’m living a small life, trying to just be a good person and basically keep to myself. I miss part of who I was. Not the stupid part,” I said with a grimace, which made him laugh again, “but the part that loved every bit of life. I feel like life has taken that from me. That hurts because I did work pretty hard to get where I was.”
“No one takes anything that you don’t willingly give.”
“That may be, but it doesn’t change the way I feel. I’ll take your offer. I want to see what could have happened if I made some different choices in life.”
“You are sure? Even knowing that if things turn out peaches and cream, you probably won’t get to stay there? The sure knowledge of what could have been is not pleasant when you have to come back to where you are.”
“Yeah, that would really suck.” I looked down at my comforter. Could I do this? He was right. It didn’t seem like a big deal now, but it had the potential to be the biggest catch in the world. It would hurt if my alternate choices turned out to be great, and I had to give them all up.
I looked up at him. “It could really end up hurting, but I think that knowing would be better than not being sure. I accept that I’ve made poor choices. I have to live with them. I’ve been driving myself crazy thinking about things that I did or didn’t do, so I’m not sure that’s any better than knowing if it could be great. Kind of changing one sort of hell for another, you know?”
“You are clever. I like that. I knew I made a good decision with you. You want to do this, and you agree to the terms of the wishes I am offering you?”
“Yes. Three chances to go back to sometime in the past and live that time of my life over, but with different choices. I’ll know all that I know right now, and I know that this is only temporary. We talk after the whole thing is done. “
“Got it in one. Good girl. All right, here’s how it’s going to happen. I’ll give you a day to think this over, think of the one do-over you want first. I won’t make you choose all three all at once. So think about where you want to go first, and then when you’re sure, call for me, and we’ll get this show on the road.”
“How do I call you? On the phone? What?”
“Just speak my name. Say Dhameer and I’ll be there in a flash.”
“A flash, huh? What a surprise.”
His eyes narrowed.
I hastened to smooth over my gaffe. “Seriously, Dhameer. Thanks for the day. I need to think about it.”
“Of course. I want you to choose carefully. I wasn’t lying to you when I said I like you and want to give you this chance. Like anything, it can be both bad and good, but it’s what you want, so I am willing to help. Call me when you’re ready.”
He vanished in an instant, leaving only a dusting of glitter across the end of my comforter.
I leaned back against the pillows. Wow. That was some kind of crazy. I was some kind of crazy for agreeing to it all. He wasn’t a burglar, and he had trotted out a small zoo and disappeared without needing a door of any sort. The chance to go back in time and do things differently didn’t sound so crazy after spending a little time with Dhameer.
I decided to just go with it. If he was not a real-deal genie, only I would know. If he was, a world of possibilities had just opened up.
I snuggled back into the bed as I had been planning to do earlier, thinking on the moments that I really, really, really wanted to go back and relive.
***
The alarm went off, and I sat straight up, startled from sleep with the harsh buzzer. I looked at the clock to see how long I had been sleeping. It read 6:30.
chapter four
Dhameer
Dhameer was meandering. He found the human woman Tabitha fascinating. He didn’t normally see such an acceptance of one’s faults in one so young. Of course, like most humans, she had taken it to the extreme and essentially wallowed in it. Nevertheless, too much responsibility was always preferable to none. Not that either are enjoyable for those around it.
He liked her. It was rare that he enjoyed his human wish recipients immediately. Normally it took some time for him to warm to them beyond their plight. The longer he had his freedom, the less he found reason to even look in on humans. As a result, he didn’t offer wishes much anymore. They had to really call out to him, as Tabitha had. Generally humans were just so…human.
He shifted his path to avoid a flock of birds. He loved being able to fly whenever he chose. Today was one such day. Beautiful and sunny, it was a glorious day for a djinn to be alive, particularly for a free djinn such as himself.
A thought hooked him and dragged him to a halt. He hovered motionless, listening. Like Tabitha, he could hear the thoughts as though the one thinking them was shouting from the rooftops.
Two in the same week! This was a treat. He moved closer to the building below to see if he could find the person thinking. He flew above the building several times…listening, first here, and then…ah. There it was. He moved down to the rooms and shamelessly eavesdropped. He kept himself invisible. Much more interesting this way. Much less hassle, as well.
As he listened, his disbelief and amazement grew. How could this be? He hadn’t planned on it, but it looked like he’d have two recipients at the same time.
Apartment 4C
The papers lay in his lap. It was over. Until the moment he’d opened the envelope, it hadn’t seemed real. Not really. Not even after he’d moved out of the house they’d bought and fixed up together.
Not when he looked for her in these rooms, or in the kitchen, or humming in the shower, or snoring gently beside him when he finally turned off his bedside light. She wasn’t there. Now with the papers, she never would be.
He poked at his feelings, as though he was poking at a sore tooth, testing to see if it really hurt. It did, but not in the way he thought it would. Or the way it should? He didn’t know.
She’d said they weren’t right together anymore. He’d hated to hear the words, but she was right. They weren’t. He looked again at the papers in his lap. They didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know.
So now what? He had his career. After all this time, though, he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue. There was the offer to come home. He always had a job waiting back there. Maybe that was it. He needed to move, get out of this bland little apartment and work on forging a new direction for himself.
What did he want? In spite of joining the ranks of the divorced, he still believed in love. Just because he hadn’t loved many —his thoughts flew to college, before he’d met his wife.
Tibby. Her real name was Tabitha. He’d found that out later, and not from her. He’d only known her as Tibby.
Tibby. What would his life be like if she’d said yes? He’d often wondered that. He wished she had, particularly as he’d obviously married the wrong person. Not that he could be sure Tibby was right. Just that he’d had a feeling about her that he’d never felt for anyone else. Maybe he should look her up, now that he was single.
Just as he was thinking about how to do that without coming across like the biggest stalker ever, he was blinded by a flash. He covered his eyes, and just as suddenly, the room went dark again.
He lowered his arms. There, in front of him, sat a man. Well, he looked kind of like a man. But not entirely. For one thing, he was covered in glitter. Could you get glitter paint like that? He wasn’t sure. The guy didn’t have a shirt, just a lot of glitter. For another…he peered more closely at his uninvited guest.
He didn’t seem to have legs.
“No, I don’t.” The man spoke.
“What?” He looked up. “Who are you? How in the hell did you get in here? You need to leave, and I won’t call the cops. Just get the hell out, and we’ll call it a day.” Normally, an intruder would have him searching for his weapon, but he found that he was too tired to make the effort. He just wanted to be alone.
“No, you don’t. If you t
ruly wanted to be alone, you wouldn’t be lost in the past, wishing for something that never happened.”
“What the—are you reading my mind?”
The man sighed. “I am. I’m a djinn. My name is Dhameer. I’m here to offer you the chance you’re lamenting, if you wish it.”
“What are you talking about?” This made no sense. Part of him knew he needed to call the cops or take a swing at this weird fuck, but it was as though he couldn’t move.
“The girl. The girl I heard you thinking about. Do you want to try it again?”
“Wait. Wait just a damn minute.” He was finally able to stand, and he moved quickly towards the painted man, ready to knock him out and call the cops.
Dhameer raised a hand, and he found that he was frozen.
“If you don’t want the gift I’m offering you, just say so. I’ll be out of here in a flash. But think for a moment with something other than your caveman senses. I am offering you a chance to go back, to live again that time in your life when the girl could have been part of your life, and this time, she’ll say yes.”
That got his attention.
“What do you mean, she’ll say yes?”
Dhameer looked at him. “If I release you, will you sit and talk with me calmly, rather than trying to attack me?”
“Hey, I’m not the one that raided a craft store and broke into someone else’s place.”
“Semantics. I’m offering you a second chance. Do you want it or not?”
“How are you going to make that happen?”
“Humans. You never listen. I will tell you again. I am a djinn. My name is Dhameer. What you know as a genie. I grant wishes. Only ones that interest me, that I want to grant.”
“Wait, wait, you live in a lamp?”
Dhameer rolled his eyes. “Disney ought to be shot. No, I do not live in a lamp. I live where I choose. I am beholden to none. I only grant wishes to those I choose. I am choosing you to give a wish.”
“Don’t I get three?”
“You get whatever I offer. The offer is about to disappear. Once more, do you want this wish? Do you want a second chance with the girl?”
Suddenly he could move. He sat back in his chair. “You’ll send me back to when I offered Tibby a chance with me?”
“I will.”
“And this time she’ll say yes?”
The djinn’s brow furrowed. “I am fairly certain.”
“What do you mean? Why aren’t you completely certain?”
“Because you humans and your nature make nothing one hundred percent predictable. Not ever. So I am fairly confident she’ll say yes, but I cannot guarantee it.”
“Okay, so let’s say she does. What then?” He couldn’t believe he was entertaining this idea, or this guy, or that he hadn’t called the cops.
“Then you go forward with her new decision.”
“I gotta live that part of my life over?”
“Indeed you do. No way out of it.”
“What if she says no?”
Dhameer shrugged. “Then you get to relive those years with the wisdom you have now.”
“Why is it I won’t end up back here?” He didn’t really know if he wanted to. Even without the chance for Tibby, reliving life from that point on could be interesting. Maybe even great.
“Because that’s the way this works. You’ll just go on, younger, with your extra wisdom and life experience. Is she really worth the effort? That is what you should be asking yourself now.”
That made him shut up. Was she worth it? What did he really know about her? Lots of flirting, but when he made his move, nothing came of it. They laughed a great deal, and he just knew there was something special about her, but he’d been shot down when he tried to pursue it. A boyfriend. That was it. She had a boyfriend.
“Is that really your big regret from the past? I don’t want to waste my efforts.”
“Calm your glitter, genie. I’m thinking!”
“So I hear,” Dhameer muttered.
He ignored the snark and considered. This was kind of a big deal, getting a chance to go back and do a part of his life over. And with everything he knew now! It was like a lottery ticket, really. So what if Tibby didn’t work out? It would suck, but he’d finally know. And then he’d get to move on far smarter than he’d been at that age. But damn, he hoped she said yes this time. He’d always regretted that she hadn’t. If he were honest, he’d married his now ex-wife because she had a spark of what he’d seen in Tibby.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what? I need you to be specific.”
“Yes. I want to go back to when I took a chance with Tibby, and this time, I want to get that chance.”
“You agree to move on with life even if she doesn’t agree?”
“Absolutely.”
“Very well. I need you to think about her, and think about that night—”
“How do you know it was at night?”
Dhameer just looked at him.
“Oh. Right. Okay. Sorry, please continue.”
“Thank you. Think about that night, and all the details you can remember.”
He closed his eyes. Lost himself in the memories from that night. When he opened his eyes, he looked down. He was wearing the same thing he’d worn that night. He looked up. Same place. And in front of him, looking a little nervous, was Tibby.
Dhameer
He smiled, looking at the man in front of him. This had never happened before. He knew this would be one of Tibby’s wishes. He could hear her thoughts, and he knew. He knew she was going to take the chance with this man, and he just couldn’t believe the coincidence in running across him. When he thought about it, he’d never heard of this occurring with any other djinn, not ever before.
This was going to be fun to watch.
Chapter five
Tibby
I rubbed my eyes, looking at the clock again. 6:30. It couldn’t be. That would mean the entire meeting with Dhameer had been nothing more than a dream. The thought made me tear up. I wanted these wishes, these do-overs. God damn it! I wanted the chance to make something different of myself and of my life.
In my apparent dream, which seemed so real, I had committed to the idea of getting a do-over. To find that it was only a dream…I felt like someone had rolled over me in a tank.
I flopped back onto the bed, wiping away tears. I was surprised at how upsetting this was. I couldn’t seem to stop the tears from welling up and spilling down my cheeks onto the pillow. I lay there until I couldn’t stand the alarm anymore, and got up and turned it off. I felt battered. I couldn’t work today. I grabbed the phone and called X to let him know I’d be delayed with the work he wanted done. I didn’t call off much so he had no problem with giving me a sick day. Once the call was done, I crawled back into bed and cried as though someone had just died.
I stayed in bed most of the morning. I got up a few times to tend to the calls of nature, and thirst, and to see if there was actually a pee spot on my floor—there wasn’t—but other than that, I didn’t move. All morning, I thought about what I would like to have a chance to do over, what would be the top choice of my list. Towards the afternoon, I got tired of myself, and got up and grabbed my laptop. Even though it seemed as though I was in some kind of alternate dimension, I wanted to look up djinn, and see what the legends had to say about them. More importantly, how had I fallen for that line of bullshit? I wasn’t drunk, or on any meds.
In Arabic lore, they were essentially fallen angels—given to mischief, attempting to possess men, and general troublemaking. Most of the sites I found referenced these sorts of stories. In Roman legend, they were spirits responsible for the development of man, a guiding spirit, if you will. The legend that I was familiar with came down to the Disney representation, which had its basis in Arabic folklore, although the actions of that genie seemed to be more of the Roman variety. Most of the Arabic tales had djinn being malicious and wont to trick humans for their own gain or amusement.
Well. That didn’t bode well for me. Since it had all been a dream, I guess I dodged a bullet. Somehow, that didn’t make me feel better. I pushed my laptop aside and resumed feeling sorry for myself. In true ruminator fashion, I went back to what I would have liked to have a shot at going back to, what times I would like to have changed in my past.
Not partying like I was some sort of rock star for five or six years would be one. I couldn’t see myself going back to the first time I drank to excess though. I didn’t even really remember when that was, to be honest. It would have stopped me from lots of bad, bad, men, and wasted time on said bad, bad men, but really, there wasn’t a beginning point to all that.
Because of my interesting childhood, I always felt I was never good enough, and that I had no one to depend on but myself. As an adult, I knew that wasn’t true, since I had made something like peace with my family over the upsets I had carried for so long. It didn’t change my ingrained behavior though. I chose men who were not truly available, who lied, who would use me, and deep down, I knew it. That sucked worst of all. I knew what I set myself up for, did it anyway, and then moped and sulked around as though I had no ability to influence my own life.
Once more, I thanked God for X. He saved me, in more ways than one. He put up with all my bullshit, and offered me a safe place to land.
What sucked even more was that finally, I’d thought I had a chance to do something different, and had decided to get off my ass and do it. Then I wake up, and it’s all been a dream!
As pathetic as that all sounds when laid out like this, I just didn’t see one spot that would be considered a crossroads. That left me with thinking over the moments where I knew I was making a choice of some kind. Usually the wrong one. In spite of the fact I was not proud of such moments and regretted being part of them, they weren’t what I would spend a wish on.
I did this for the rest of the afternoon, going back and forth over what were the points in time where I could really effect some sort of change. I ignored the fact that it didn’t appear to have happened. Finally, as the sun was going down, and my room was getting dark, I made up my mind. It might have been a dream, and this could be a prelude to another day crying in bed, but I was going to give it a shot. If I was wrong, and it was all a dream, as I said before, no one would know I was being silly but me.
Three Wishes: Time Traveler Romance (Heart Of The Djinn Book 1) Page 2
