He’d done some thinking in the twenty-four hours or so since Jordan left. He wasn’t surprised she didn’t stick around to say good-bye, but he wasn’t exactly excited about it, either. He’d been furious with himself for being such an idiot, and then the reality set in: he could be as pissed off as he wanted, but it wasn’t going to bring her back. He’d lied to her about having an official job offer. It was a huge betrayal. If he wanted her back, he was going to have to apologize, and he’d better make it good. His parents hadn’t lectured him at all yesterday after he told them Jordan had left. He’d spent yesterday pretending nothing at all was wrong, he was fine, and he wasn’t upset or brokenhearted over her at all. Everything was great until he was in bed for the night.
It was so cliché: he tossed and turned for hours. He relived every memory he had of her, even the ones that made him flinch.
His cell phone rang. There were only four people in the world who had any business calling him before seven AM, and he stared at the phone’s screen in disbelief as he hit the button to answer.
“Harrison.”
“Tanner.”
“You didn’t answer with an obscenity.”
“My parents are asleep upstairs. I didn’t want to wake them up.”
“Who are you, and what have you done with Tanner Cole?”
“Maybe we could get to the reason why you called.”
“I heard Jordan moved out.”
He could lie. It might work. He’d known Harrison since college, though, and he wouldn’t get away with it.
“Yeah. Yesterday.”
“That’s tough.”
“Probably. I’ll be fine.”
“Sure you will. That’s why you’re awake at six fifteen in the morning.”
“I get up early.”
“Not for the past eight months you haven’t. Want to talk?”
“We are talking.”
Harrison let out a breath. “So this is how you want to play it. Listen, tough guy, at some point you’re going to have to talk about it, and I want you to know I’ll listen.”
“I really appreciate it, but things are fine.”
“Why don’t I check in at a somewhat normal hour, then?”
“Yeah.” Even if he was determined to tough this out on his own, he didn’t need to be an ass to his best friend. “Thanks for the call.”
“Got it.”
Harrison hung up, and Tanner glanced at the clock on his phone. He still had an hour and a half before he had to pull on some warm-ups and get over to the physical therapy clinic.
Five minutes before he was due to walk out the door of his house, his phone rang again.
“It’s probably Harrison,” he muttered.
It was the head coach of Atlanta’s team, otherwise known as Tanner’s new boss. He hit Answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Tanner, it’s Coach Peterson. I hope you won’t mind the short notice, but I’d like it if you’d join a conference call. We’re going over what the schedule looks like next week, and the information might come in handy.”
All NFL head coaches made every request of team personnel sound like the other person had a choice. They didn’t. Those who learned this fact stuck around.
“That sounds great. When’s the call happening?”
“Ten minutes from now. Can I count on you?”
“I’ll be there. I’ll need the number, though.”
The coach laughed like he’d said something hilarious.
“I’ll text it to you. There’s a code you’ll have to use too. See you in ten minutes, Cole.”
“I’ll be there.”
The coach ended the call.
Tanner pulled up the contact for the physical therapy clinic and hit the number. He had to miss his appointment. At least he could let Jordan know he wasn’t going to be there.
An unfamiliar voice picked up on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Is this Eastside PT? This is Tanner Cole. I won’t be able to be at my appointment this morning because of a work commitment. Would you please let Jordan Mueller know?”
“Yeah,” the guy said. “Thanks for calling.” He hung up.
Tanner’s phone alerted him that a text had arrived. He clicked on it to see the conference call number and the code he’d need for access. He wanted to see Jordan one last time, but he had to be on the call. He hit the number.
***
JORDAN SPENT SOME of her workday puzzling over whether Tanner cancelled because he didn’t want to face her, or if he had an actual “work commitment.”
Nobody seemed to notice that she was still forcing herself to keep her mind on work and not engage in endless speculation on where the hell Tanner was earlier, let alone why he’d cancelled his appointment so abruptly. She focused on the woman she was working with instead.
“Just a few more minutes,” Jordan said. “You’re doing great.”
“I know it might be a while before I feel better,” she said. Her name was Connie. She’d fallen off a ladder while she was painting the trim on her house.
“You might think you haven’t made much progress since you started. That’s not true. Do the exercises seem easier at all?”
“They do. I remember my first appointment. It was a little scary.”
Jordan saw Connie smile a bit.
“If you stick with it, it will get easier and you’ll feel better. I promise. Please let me know if you have questions or want to talk some more about your progress.” She reached out to pat Connie’s upper arm.
“I’ll do that.”
The appointment finished up a few minutes later, and Jordan made sure her area was neat before she headed to the locker room for her purse. She pushed the door to the parking lot open and hurried toward her car. Her feet stopped moving when she saw him.
Tanner was leaning against her car door with a large bouquet of flowers in his hand.
She stared at him. Maybe it wasn’t really him. Maybe she was hallucinating because she’d spent so much time over the past two days wishing she could see him again. Maybe she was dreaming.
Maybe she should see a doctor.
“Hi there,” he said.
“Hello.”
She was still staring at him. If she didn’t knock it off, he was going to figure out that her feelings for him were a lot stronger than she’d ever admitted to, and it wasn’t going to go well after that. Even if he’d lied to her, she knew she was in love with him. She wished it wasn’t true, but she’d be lying if she denied her feelings.
He was leaving. He wasn’t an option anymore.
“You must be wondering why I’m here,” he said.
“Yeah. I guess.”
“I’ll tell you all about it when you get a little closer.”
“Uh-huh,” she said.
She was pretty sure he wasn’t a hallucination anymore, but she wasn’t ready to have this confrontation right now. She wasn’t sure when she’d be ready. If she wanted to leave, she’d have to tell him so, and she wasn’t screaming across the parking lot to do it.
She moved her feet until she was a yard or so from him. That was a good distance. She couldn’t throw herself on him or do something else equally as embarrassing.
He approached. He was close enough to give her the bouquet.
“I don’t know if the guy at your front desk gave you my message. What happened to Britt?”
“She doesn’t work here anymore,” Jordan said.
“It must have been sudden.”
“It was.”
They could stand here all night and make small talk, but nobody was saying “I have to go.” She needed to leave, but she couldn’t make herself say the words. He wasn’t saying them, either.
He swallowed hard. “I wanted to let you know I’m sorry for missing my appointment. My new boss called as I was about to walk out the door. He wanted me to be on a conference call with ten minutes’ notice. It ended up lasting almost two hours.”
“D
oes he do this often?”
“I’m not sure,” he said. “I also got these for you.”
He held out the flowers. She hesitated for a few seconds. She loved flowers, and they were gorgeous, but the missed appointment wasn’t the reason she wished he’d brought her a bouquet. He moved a little closer to put them in her arms.
“They’re beautiful,” she said. “Thank you.”
“Jordan,” he said. His voice was raw with pain. “I fucked this up so badly. I should apologize for everything I did wrong, and I will if you want me to. I don’t know if that’s what you want.”
“Why do you think I wouldn’t want you to apologize?”
“Maybe you’ve had enough of all of it.”
“No. That’s not it,” she said.
He interrupted her. “I didn’t tell you about the job in Atlanta because when I initially talked to my old coach about it, you and I weren’t interested in each other. It’s the truth. When they finally made their offer, we were together but I wasn’t sure what it meant. I didn’t ask. That’s my fault. I didn’t tell you I took the job, either.”
“You told me at the restaurant there was nothing final and you all were still talking.”
“I’m sorry I lied. I promise I will do my best to never lie to you again.”
They stood silently for a minute or so.
“I’ll have to live there,” he said. “Would you consider moving?”
“If you would have asked me three days ago, I would have in a heartbeat,” she said.
The pain in his eyes hurt her too. It was a physical thing.
“What happened?” he said.
“My boss, Marco, asked me—well, told me—to buy him out of the clinic.”
“Why?”
“He told me he was going to fire everyone and sell the place unless I bought it. He doesn’t want to sell to anyone who doesn’t work for the clinic because they’ll get his client list, fire everyone, and close the place.”
“He can’t blackmail you. His idea doesn’t make sense.”
“I talked to my dad last night. He’s working on it.”
“Didn’t you say your dad is a lawyer?”
“Yeah.”
“He’ll make sure Marco will regret this.” Tanner rubbed his free hand over his face. “It doesn’t look like there’s a solution to our problem, though. If you end up buying that business, you’ll be here, I’ll be in Atlanta, and neither of us can move.”
No matter how sad, mad, or hurt she was over the events of the past twenty-four hours, she wanted every moment she could get with him while they were still in the same state. She heard her phone ringing in her purse.
“Someone’s looking for you,” Tanner said.
She pulled her phone out and looked at the screen as she tapped the Answer button. “Mom? I’m sorry I’m late. I didn’t mean to worry you. I ran into someone special.”
Tanner grinned at the sound of her mother’s voice. She sounded a lot like her daughter.
“I’d like to bring him home so he can meet you and Dad. That’s great. We’ll be there soon.”
Chapter Ten
One week later
TANNER REMEMBERED ATLANTA’S summer heat from his playing days as he parked his rental car in the team’s parking lot shortly before seven AM. Maybe it seemed so much hotter today because he’d usually worn a loose mesh jersey, football pants, socks, cleats, and pads for practice. He also had his helmet on most of the time, but he’d learned that dumping a bottle of cool water over his head before putting on the helmet was another good tip for staying cool. He wasn’t quite so comfortably dressed today.
He’d worn what he thought was a lightweight jacket, dress shirt, and cotton dress pants to his first day on the job as an assistant offensive line coach. He was already longing to pull his tie off so he could unbutton his collar. He’d have to get used to the humidity again. It was a big day in Seattle when the temp was over eighty. Atlanta was either sizzling hot outdoors or air-conditioned everywhere indoors. Heat or not, he wanted to make a good impression. He was surprised at how nervous he was too. He’d spent years showing up for practice. Being on the sidelines telling other players what to do was a whole new thing for him. The stretching and running wasn’t an issue. The strength and conditioning coaches would be handling that. He’d be expected to produce results with the four guys who were competing for his old job in training camp, and he’d better hit the ground running.
He felt the vibration of a new text on his phone and grabbed it out of his pocket.
You’ve got this. Have a great 1st day, Jordan had texted.
TY, he texted in response. I miss u. He slid his phone back into his pocket. He’d better move his ass or he was going to be late.
A few minutes later, he walked into a facility of men wearing the same comfortable-looking team logo short-sleeved polo shirts and cotton khakis.
“It’s the new guy,” Coach Peterson called out and crossed a huge lobby area to shake his hand. “You must not have gotten the memo about what we wear around here.” He gestured to Tanner’s tie and jacket.
“I’ll make sure to follow the guidelines in the future.”
“I like that answer.”
Tanner remembered that every first day he’d had in his life—public school, college, meeting the team that drafted him—was challenging. He’d expected nerves. Hell, he used to get so nervous before big games he’d throw up. He remembered every motivational speech he’d ever heard from coaches he’d had and imagined how they’d put a foot in his ass right now and tell him to man up.
He followed the herd of head coach, assistant coaches, their assistants, and administrative staff into the first meeting of the day.
The offensive coordinator approached Tanner and shook his hand. “I’m Steve. Good to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Tanner said.
Steve handed him a Surface tablet. “Here’s your playbook. You’ll need to learn it as soon as possible. We made some changes this past season.” He gestured toward a smaller knot of men sitting closer to the front of the room. “C’mon up and meet the OL group.”
Tanner’s day was meeting after meeting after meeting, with a quick lunch thrown in. Players had meetings too, but they broke things up a bit with practice, lifting, running, and visits with the training staff during the season for treatments. He’d get out on the field and work with the players when training camp started. He knew learning his new job was going to be like drinking out of a firehose, but he’d never been afraid of hard work. His nerves were gone. He was looking forward to the challenge.
The last meeting of the day ended as the sun was setting over Atlanta. One of the administrative staff stopped him on his way out the door and handed him a plastic bag with two team polos. “Welcome back to Atlanta,” she said. “See you tomorrow.”
***
TANNER DITCHED HIS jacket and tie about a minute after he walked into the fully furnished apartment he was staying in until he decided what he wanted to do about finding a house. He’d grabbed some takeout on the way home. He could study and get ready for tomorrow, but he wanted to talk with Jordan first. He glanced at his phone. She’d still be at work at six PM in Seattle. Maybe he should eat and get started on memorizing the playbook and try calling her in an hour or so.
He reread the text she’d sent him this morning. He missed her so much already. At least he’d talked her into staying at his place with Sadie. He knew Sadie probably missed him too, but it would have been worse to board her with a stranger. He cracked open a bottle of unsweetened iced tea, pulled the lid off the chicken stir-fry he’d brought home, and grabbed the plastic fork out of the bag as he propped the tablet up so he could read and eat at the same time. He was pretty sure every other guy he knew would call him p-whipped and worse, but he would do almost anything to see Jordan walk into his place right now.
An hour later, he’d eaten, reread the playbook until he was falling asleep on the kitchen table, and shut
off the tablet for a few minutes. It was time to talk to his girl.
The call went to voice mail. She was probably stuck in traffic. He waited for the beep and said, “It’s me. I miss you. Call me when you get this.”
Maybe he should stretch out on the couch for a short nap. It was only ten. A few z’s would refresh him, and he could work for another hour or so. He awoke at six AM the next morning, still on the couch. The message light on his phone was blinking too. He’d been so wiped out he hadn’t heard it ring.
Hopefully he could FaceTime with her later today.
***
A WEEK PASSED faster than Tanner could have imagined. He was at the team facilities at least twelve hours a day. When meetings were over, he was watching film with some of the other assistant coaches and the offensive coordinator or reading and memorizing thousands of pages about team procedures and policies. He and Jordan were reduced to texting these days because he was up at three AM Seattle time each morning. The window where he was home and she was still awake was getting smaller and smaller.
He missed her. He could still see her smile and feel her gentle kisses. She didn’t cry when he left, but he wanted to. She took a picture of the signed sale agreement for the physical therapy clinic with her phone and sent it to him yesterday. It was official: she’d bought the place, and she couldn’t leave the Seattle area for the indefinite future. He couldn’t leave Atlanta, either. He stared at the video she’d sent of Sadie playing in the yard yesterday. He listened to her laughter as Sadie ran in circles around Jordan trying to get a Frisbee out of her hand.
He used to laugh at other guys who complained about missing their wives and girlfriends at training camp or on team road trips. He’d always looked at it as a break from whoever it was he was with at the time. It was a different story now. He also realized how dumb he’d been. He’d met a woman he wanted to spend every minute of every day with, and he’d decided on a job that would keep him away from her most of the year. He could have waited until he found a job with a team closer to home.
He was going to have to give some serious thought as to why he’d chosen to work for a team across the country from the reason his heart kept beating. Obviously, they offered. He’d thought it was an easy way to start what he imagined was his coaching career. He wasn’t a quitter, but he was going to have to figure out how he and Jordan could make sure they were in the same state.
Necessary Roughness Page 15
