by Kaylea Cross
“It was…awful,” she finished in a whisper, willing the crushing memories away.
Noah stiffened ever so slightly, his arms tightening, as though he wanted to protect her from that past hurt. “Whoever he was, he was an asshole and didn’t deserve you.”
“You’re right, he was an asshole.” But he’d gotten some of what he deserved when he knocked up the mayor’s daughter in senior year and been forced to marry her. Poppy had secretly reveled in his spectacular fall from grace.
Noah smiled and drew a fingertip down the side of her cheek, wishing he could stroke her all over. “Now I’m even more determined to prove myself to you. I think in time you’ll find that I’m a pretty trustworthy guy. You can ask around if you want.”
He was the most amazing man she had ever known, aside from her granddad. “I already have.”
That made him chuckle. He nuzzled the top of her head but didn’t try to kiss her or sexualize the embrace in any way. Her heart melted a little more.
“Thanks for coming over,” she murmured, her cheek resting on his shoulder. “It was really nice of you.” Having a man that concerned about her was a novelty.
“I had to make sure you were okay. I didn’t like knowing someone had hurt you.”
She exhaled, hugging him tighter. “I love that you’re being so patient with me. That means a lot.”
“You’re welcome.” He wrapped his arms all the way around her, holding on tight. “One thing I’ve learned about bullies.”
She lifted her head to look into his face. A strong, masculine face that made her breath catch. “What about them?”
His eyes searched hers. “The best revenge is to be happy and successful in spite of them. I hope you’ll be both here.”
A tentative smile crept across her face, the hope filling her increasing the excruciating ache in her chest. “I hope I will be too.”
****
Molly rushed down the hall in her scrubs, bleary-eyed and in desperate need of some hot, strong coffee before she headed into work. Her body was achy and sluggish, as if all the stress had suddenly caught up with her.
She stumbled to an abrupt halt, shock blasting through her when she saw Carter standing there in the kitchen. Waiting for her.
Her stomach dropped. She’d changed the locks the day he’d left, but of course that meant nothing to someone with his training. It was laughable to think she had thought it would make her safer.
She took an involuntary step backward, her heart drumming hard in her chest. She was like a frightened rabbit facing a wolf, unsure whether to stay frozen in place or run like hell.
He was disheveled and dirty, his eyes bloodshot. She’d seen the dark side of his temper last time he was here and had to tread carefully. Jase had taken away the weapon Carter had given her the day he’d walked out, but now part of her wished she still had it, just in case.
“What are you doing here?” she forced out of her tight throat.
He ran his gaze over her, assessing, then his eyes darted to the freshly-patched hole in her kitchen wall. “I came to apologize. Make sure you’re okay after what I…did last time.” He sounded genuinely remorseful, his expression ashamed.
Jesus. She felt like she’d just plunged down a sudden drop on a roller coaster. He was the polar opposite of what he’d been like last time. What the hell was going on with him?
“Have you eaten?” she asked to change the subject and try to keep things light while her heart continued to pound. He’d lost weight. And judging by the looks of him, the only thing going down his throat lately was alcohol.
“I’m good.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, unsure what to do. He seemed calm and rational today. But there was no telling whether that would last. “You’re not supposed to be here,” she told him calmly. “I know you got the restraining order I filed.” The cops had told her.
At that, something dark and evil flashed in his eyes. She started to take a step back, but then it was gone and she wondered if she’d only imagined it. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“You didn’t give me a choice. Not after that.” She nodded at the patched hole. Beckett had cleaned up most of the mess that night, and Sierra had stayed to help her with the rest. The broken dishes and chair were now at the local dump.
Carter raked a hand through his unkempt hair. She’d never seen him look this bad. Even when he’d been allowed relaxed grooming in the Army for certain missions or deployments, he’d still looked presentable. Now his beard was overgrown and his shaggy hair almost reached his shoulders. “I said I’m sorry, Moll. I meant it. I…don’t know what came over me.”
Her either. And that’s what scared her so bad. It was like an evil being lived in his head now, ready to take over at any given moment.
She wished she knew how to help him. Even if she wasn’t in love with him anymore, she still loved him in her own way and always would. He’d been a good husband to her until the IED blast. “Where have you been staying all this time, anyway?”
“What the fuck do you care?”
She hid a flinch, steeled herself for another burst of temper. “Of course I care, Carter. How could you think I wouldn’t?” How could he not see how hard all this had been on her? How much she wished everything was different. How much she wished things were the way they had been before the TBI.
He shook his head, his eyes full of resentment and accusation. “You ditched me.”
Her eyes widened in horror and outrage. “What? That’s not true and you know it. You’re the one who left, and you told me to file the separation.”
“I know what I said,” he growled out, and began pacing the room like a caged tiger.
Molly retreated another step, ready to flee if he showed the slightest hint of violence. She should leave, but something warned her it would trigger another ugly episode. She had to stay calm, make sure this didn’t escalate. “You’ve already apologized for what happened. I have to get to work.”
Carter stopped pacing to nail her with his dark, penetrating stare. “I… I can’t keep holding on, Moll.”
Unease rippled up her spine. “What do you mean?” Oh, she knew all too well what he meant, but she wanted him to tell her something different.
He made a frustrated sound. “I mean you’re the only thing that keeps me hanging on.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth. You’re the only thing I have left to live for,” he finished, his voice cracking.
Another fracture formed in her heart. “No.” She didn’t want to be married to him anymore but she still wanted what was best for him and worried about his safety.
From the day she’d flown to Germany to be at his bedside when he woke up from emergency surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain that the IED blast had caused, she’d done everything in her power to support and help him with his recovery.
But none of the meds or other treatments had helped turn his mental disintegration around. Things were too volatile and dangerous for her to stay with him any longer. At this point she had no idea what he was capable of, either with himself or others.
“Yes. I had to come and tell you in person. I know I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked up so many things lately, and I’m sorry. I still love you. I always will. And if there’s even a little piece of you that still loves me, then don’t give up on us yet. Please?”
The anguished plea made tears prick her eyes and put a lump in her throat. He had to know she was preparing to file for divorce as soon as she was legally able. She’d stupidly thought that since he’d been the one to push for the separation and leave, that he would accept it without contesting anything, and let her go.
Somehow she found her voice. This was the hardest thing she’d ever had to say to anyone, but it needed to be said. “Carter, if you really love me, you’ll let me go.”
He stared back at her for a long moment, the pain in his eyes slicing her up inside. “I can’t live without you,
Moll. I won’t.”
The cryptic words sounded too much like a threat, sending ice sliding through her veins. “Carter—”
He raised a hand to cut her off. “I’m going. Just…” He stopped at the beginning of the hallway, holding her gaze, his desperation and distress clear. “Please think about what I said before you throw me away.” He turned to leave.
Throw him…? Where was he going? Was he even taking his meds anymore? “Carter, wait—” She bit back the rest of the words as he walked away. A moment later the front door shut. Then his truck started out front, and drove away.
Shaken, Molly ran a hand over her face and let out a deep breath. She was safe. But Carter wasn’t. He was a ticking time bomb that could go off at any moment. She would have to tell Noah, and Beckett. Jase would find out from them.
Maybe it was time she had Carter involuntarily committed to a psych hospital. She’d never thought she would get there, but then, she’d never imagined being where she was, either. If committing him was the only way to save him, then so be it.
Also, she had to move. She wasn’t safe here anymore.
Chapter Ten
The next morning Poppy was back at Whale’s Tale with her head held as high as she could possibly manage. After talking with Noah last night and gauging his reaction, she’d decided that this whole thing was actually worse in her head than it was in reality. Few people here would have even seen the post, and Sandra was out of her life again.
She refused to let the past weigh her down a single day more. This was her home now, this was her new life and she was going to make the most of it. So there.
She glanced over as two more customers walked into the café and stifled a groan when she realized it was Danny and his pal from the garden center. Great.
“Hey, good morning,” Danny said as he walked up to the counter, raking his gaze over her boobs and not even trying to be subtle about it.
“Morning. What can I get you today?” Caroline was back in the kitchen, otherwise Poppy would have turned them over to her.
“I guess a large vanilla iced coffee and one of those strawberry tarts,” he said, looking in the pastry case. He turned to his friend. “What do you want?”
“Same is good.”
“For here or to go?” she asked, hoping he would say to go.
“For here.”
Of course, she thought sourly, but kept her polite smile in place. “Coming right up.”
She got busy putting their order together. Her other employee was due in anytime and would take over here in the café so Poppy could get to work in the office. “All right, here you go.” She passed the coffees and pastries over the counter and took Danny’s credit card.
He set an elbow on the counter and leaned in toward her in a way that made her want to jerk back. He was deliberately invading her space and it was damn hard to resist the urge to put the cocky little shit in his place. “So, Poppy. You busy tonight?”
Ugh. Was he for real? “I am, yes.”
“What about tomorrow?”
She’d had enough, and the way he stared at her made her feel like a piece of steak he was salivating over. Meeting his gaze, she kept her voice low so as not to draw attention from the other customers. She needed to dissuade him without wounding his overinflated ego too badly, and she didn’t want a scene here. “I’m not interested.”
His gaze turned angry, his expression hardening. “Really? That’s not what I heard. I heard you’re interested in any guy you can get.”
Poppy blanched. The post. He must have either seen it or heard about it. Oh God, how many other people around here had too?
She mentally shook herself. No. Enough. Enough of this shit. This toxic, shameful cloud she’d been under for too long. That ended right here and now.
Anger bubbled up as she stared back at him, refusing to look away. He was a classic bully, just like the others had been. She could see the gleam of malice in his eyes. The need to hurt and put down someone else to make himself feel better.
She would not allow him to intimidate her. She’d been polite. This was her place of business and he was beyond rude. He could freaking leave. She stood her ground and arched an eyebrow. “What’s that mean?”
“Come on, like you don’t know,” he said with an ugly laugh. “I heard you gave it up to every guy in your high school and then half the town, so why not me?”
Somehow Poppy managed to stay cool, but inside she was fuming and sick. Even Danny’s friend Rick looked aggrieved by his remarks. He nudged Danny. “Hey, come on, man.”
“I’m just talking,” Danny argued, never looking away from Poppy. “So what is it? You too good for me? Or maybe you play for the other team now?”
Screw this. She opened her mouth to tell him to get out and go to hell, but caught movement in her peripheral vision and looked over to see Noah standing inside the doorway in his uniform, watching them.
Relief swamped her and the invisible rope around her chest loosened. “Morning, Sheriff,” she called out.
Danny jerked upright and spun around. Noah stood there unmoving, his gaze shifting from her to Danny for a long moment, staring him down before settling back on her. “Is he bothering you?” he asked her.
“No,” she answered, shoving Danny’s credit card back toward him. “You can leave. Your business is no longer welcome here.” With that she turned away to clean up the coffee bar area, dismissing the little shit.
Danny muttered something behind her back about her being a stupid slut and walked away.
Poppy glanced over her shoulder a moment later as Noah strode up to the counter. Rick was standing at the door, watching her with something disturbingly close to longing.
She jerked her gaze to Noah. God, she could kiss him for showing up when he had. Not that she couldn’t handle an asshole like Danny by herself, but it was incredibly refreshing to have someone defend her for a change.
“Morning,” Noah said, his deep voice wrapping around her as he leaned his forearms on the counter. She didn’t mind him doing it because she liked it when he invaded her space. Liked it way too much.
“Hi. You hungry?”
“Yes, ma’am.” His eyes made it clear he meant for much more than pastries and coffee, but his smile held a teasing edge.
She tried to suppress her own smile and failed miserably. “Well, we can’t have that. What can I get you?”
“What do you suggest?”
Poppy paused, recognizing that she was on the brink of doing something terrifying.
She wanted him. He had no idea she was pretty much totally inexperienced when it came to sex, and after what he’d heard yesterday, he probably thought the complete opposite even despite what she’d told him. “We’ve got fresh cherry cobbler ready to come out of the oven. It’s not a healthy breakfast, but it’s tasty.”
“Sold, because cherry anything reminds me of you,” he said in a low, intimate tone that made her blush. “And I’ll take an iced tea to go with it. The peach one.”
“You got it.” She bustled into the back to get his cobbler, then gave him an extra-large peach iced tea. “Busy day at the station ahead?” she asked as she rang up his order, only charging him for the cobbler. It was her place; she could give free stuff to whomever she wanted. And she definitely enjoyed spoiling Noah.
“Hope not.” He frowned when he looked at the total on the wireless keypad. “That seems low.”
“No, it’s right.” She pushed it toward him.
He met her eyes. “Miss Larsen, I do believe you’ve undercharged me again.”
“Have I?”
He shook his head, one side of his mouth lifting in a smile that made her insides quiver. “I can’t let this go on. How about you come to dinner with me tonight when I get off shift?”
For one second, the old defensive, suspicious part of her brain automatically took that to mean he assumed he would get laid after. If not tonight, then eventually, and sooner rather than later.
Then the new, logical Poppy took over, bitch-slapping that negative voice in her head into silence. Noah could easily have pushed her for more these past few days, and he hadn’t. He’d even come to her place last night to check on her, with no expectation of anything in return.
The new thought process was so damn freeing, the exhilaration that shot through her made her pulse skip. There were a half-dozen customers eating at tables around the café, and all of a sudden she didn’t give a damn if they had overheard the conversation. “I would love to. Where?”
Noah straightened and took his order, a mysterious smile playing around the edges of his mouth. “You’ll see. Pick you up at seven-thirty?”
She nodded. “All right, see you then. Enjoy your cobbler.”
“Oh, I will. Because I’ll think of you with every bite,” he added in a sexy murmur meant only for her.
She bit her lower lip as he walked away, her gaze traveling over his wide shoulders and muscular back, down to his tight ass. What the man did for polyester uniform pants should be illegal.
Her mood stayed high the rest of the day, Danny’s ugly remarks fading beneath the promise of seeing Noah tonight. She couldn’t wait to see him. Was tempted to lower her protective walls and allow herself to bask in the heat and arousal he stirred within her. She’d held back and protected herself for too long. Now she wanted the chance to be free.
At six forty-five she packed up and walked out to her car.
She stopped. Someone—she was betting Danny—had thrown their drink across the windshield of her car and smeared the remnants of a strawberry tart over it to spell out SLUT for good measure.
She pulled in a deep breath, let it out slowly. Screw him and his fragile freaking male ego.
Putting him out of her mind, she cleaned off her windshield and headed home to get ready for her date. Yes it would be awkward if for some reason things turned sour between her and Noah, but she was so sick of holding back and missing out romantically. This was her chance to start a new life and actually live it. And something told her that Noah Buchanan would be more than worth the risk.
