by J. S. Cooper
“No.” Stella laughed. “I was thinking if they got really kinky, you know …” Her voice trailed off and both Jules and I looked at her, equally curious and creeped out.
“Um, please go on,” I said finally as I realized that Stella wasn’t going to continue.
“Didn’t you hear that story about Angelina and Billy Bob and how they swapped blood vials?” Stella said. “And who knows what else they did. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that they sucked each other’s blood out or something.”
“What?” I blinked at her. “That’s disgusting. And I would never suck Jeff’s blood out.”
“Well, wouldn’t you let him suck your blood out, a la Edward and Bella?”
“From Twilight?” I stared at her. “He sucked her blood because he was a vampire, and did he even suck her blood?”
“Oh shit, I knew it, Jeff is a vampire.” Jules cut in. “I knew he wasn’t human.”
“Jules.” I made a face. “Be nice. And Stella, what the hell? I’m not going to be sucking anyone’s blood.”
“You’ll just be sucking other things.” Stella giggled, and both Jules and I groaned. “What? Sucking can be fun,” she said, her green eyes laughing at us. The doorbell rang then and she jumped up. “I’ll get it, that must be Abby.”
“Saved by the bell.” I laughed. “I’ll wait until you and Abby come back to order, in case she wants something.”
“You didn’t order yet?” Jules groaned, and I just rolled my eyes at her dramatic expression. “I’m starving.” She grabbed the wineglass and drank some more.
Chapter 3
Betsy
“Okay, guys, I really need your help,” I said in between sips of the mango lassi the restaurant had sent over for free with our order.
“What help do you need?” Abby dipped a piece of naan bread in the tikka masala sauce and chewed on it, a blissful look on her face. “This is so delicious. You know I never really ate Indian food before, but this is so-o-o good.”
“It’s pretty yummy, all right.”
“Betsy, stop delaying the inevitable. Tell everyone about you and Jeff.”
“You’re dating Jeff now?” Abby looked surprised and gave Stella a quick look. “I didn’t know that.”
“I’m not dating Jeff …” I paused for a few seconds. “Why did you look at Stella like that? Do you like him?”
“Oh, God, no.” She looked back at me, her vibrant blue eyes staring into mine earnestly. “I would never date, Jeff.”
“Same here.” Jules butted in, and I shot her a dirty glance.
“Why did you give Stella that look?”
“Well …” Abby made a face. “I heard that Jeff is hooking up with Veronica.”
“Veronica?” I thought for a few moments. “Not Veronica Ryans, the girl that was in your year and went to New York to become a model?” My mouth dropped slightly. “The one that got arrested for nude sunbathing?”
“Yeah, she’s back in town, and word is she went skinny dipping and tanning nude, just so she could get Jeff’s attention.”
“How did she know he would be the arresting officer?”
“She found out his work schedule or something.” Abby shrugged. “I don’t know all the details exactly, but that’s what Jessica was telling me.” Jessica was a friend of Abby’s and Stella’s who worked at the local bank. She typically knew people’s business before they even knew it themselves.
“So … What? She went skinny dipping and now she’s letting Jeff dip in her?” Jules asked.
I managed a polite laugh, but inside I cringed with jealousy. Was Jeff seriously involved with Veronica?
“I don’t know the whole story,” Abby said hesitantly. “I don’t want to spread rumors and say that they’re together because I really don’t know everything.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Stella jumped up and looked at me. “Betsy, we’re going to help you get your man, but first I need to use the restroom, I’ll be right back.” She walked out of the room, and I funneled some more of the Indian food into my mouth. This time, it didn’t taste quite as delicious.
“I’m going to open another bottle of wine.” Jules got up and headed toward the kitchen. “Do you still have that bottle of Ménage à Trois that I brought over last week?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Bring some cookies as well and the box of chocolates that I have in the fridge.”
“The good box?” Jules looked excited.
I nodded. “I’m going to need as much wine and chocolate as I can get tonight.”
“So, what exactly did you think was going to happen after you dropped off a pair of naughty panties?” Abby giggled as we all ate the liqueur-filled dark chocolates that my parents had brought me back from their last trip to Belgium.
“I have no idea.” I grabbed another chocolate bottle. “I wasn’t really thinking. I walked past the store, bought the panties, and thought it would be a funny practical joke.”
“But you weren’t even going to tell him that it was you?” Stella looked at me quizzically.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Maybe I was hoping that he would figure it out?” I licked the remnants of the chocolate from my lips. “Obviously, it was a stupid plan.”
“So, what do you want us to do?” Jules said with a look. “Because you know if you really want Jefferson Evian, who I totally think doesn’t deserve you, we will help you get him.”
“I don’t want to trick him into wanting me.”
‘Girl, I’m half sure that he does want you.” Stella grinned at me. “There’s no way that he would be popping into your cupcake store that often for nothing.”
“Um, free cupcakes and coffees.” I sighed. “Half the officers come into the store every day.” I made a face. “Free cupcakes can’t be beat.”
“Maybe.” Jules looked thoughtful. “If I’m honest, I have kinda wondered if Jeff likes you. He always seems to be around these days.”
“But if he liked me, would he be manning the kissing booth at the Bachelor Auction?” I made a face. “I don’t want to see him sucking face with half the women in Canyon Beach.”
“Yeah that, would suck, unless …” Jules paused for a few seconds and grinned. “What about if you also did a kissing auction?”
“What?” I frowned. “How can I enter the kissing contest? It’s for the Bachelor Auction.”
“Well, I’ve always thought the Bachelor Auction was quite sexist. What about a Bachelorette Auction?” Jules said.
“People would feel like it was sex trafficking,” Stella said. “Can you imagine the outcry?”
“Well, isn’t an auction in and of itself a bit weird, when you think about slavery and stuff? Selling human beings and all that,” I said thinking about the discussion that had surrounded the auction the previous year.
“I think that it’s a bit weird, overall,” Jules admitted. “But it’s for a good cause, and if we’re going to have one, we might as well have one for women as well.”
“Would you enter?” I asked her pointedly. It was all well and good saying there should be equality in the dating auction block, but who really wanted to put themselves out there like that? I couldn’t think of anything more intimidating.
“Well, maybe if I wasn’t dating Nolan …” Jules sounded unsure.
“We’ll all do it,” Stella said, giving her cousin a look. Her expression was determined now, and she smiled at me. “We advocate for a Bachelorette Auction, and we all enter. Betsy will run the kissing booth. Let’s see how Jeff likes that.”
“I don’t know. That means I have to kiss a lot of randos as well.” I made a face. “Some guys cannot kiss. I remember when I was in college and went out with Slobbery Pete, ugh, he was awful.”
“I remember that.” Jules laughed. “Pity, because he was so cute.”
“Cute doesn’t mean anything in the bedroom.” Abby screwed up her pert little nose. “In fact, I think the better looking they are, the worse in bed.”
“I disagree.
” Jules grinned. “Nolan is hot, and he’s amazing in bed.”
“Julia Gilbert!” I shouted at her. “Stop!”
“Look, I’m sure you will want to tell me about banging Jeff when it happens.”
“I’m not banging him anytime soon.” I pouted.
“Ha ha, you never know.” Stella laughed and flung her long dark hair back. “This time next week, you might be riding the baloney pony.”
“Oh, hell no, you didn’t just say baloney pony.” I giggled. “We’ve had too much wine.”
“No such thing,” Jules said. “In fact, I saw another bottle on the countertop. Can I open it?”
“Of course.” I nodded. “So, Stella, please tell me what’s going on with your love life? And yours too, Abby.”
“Nothing.” Stella made a face. “All the guys in Canyon Beach suck.”
“Tell me about it.” Abby groaned. “Sometimes I really think I should move to Los Angeles already and just go for it.”
“Well, you’d have a better shot at becoming a star there,” Stella pointed out. “But there’s no way I’m letting you move. What would I do without you?”
“I think you’d survive.” Abby grinned. “Plus, you could also move with me.”
“Yeah, right.” Stella shook her head. “I couldn’t afford a pot to piss in in LA, let alone my own bookstore.”
“True.” Abby sighed. “But fine, I’m in for the Bachelorette Auction. Maybe I’ll meet someone new.” She paused. “Hopefully, my dick of a boss will give me some time off.”
“Jack still being an asshole?”
“When isn’t he?” Abby rolled her eyes. “He gets on my last nerves.”
“Oh, no, is he horrible?” I asked. Abby’s boss, Jack, had moved to town the previous year and taken over the local veterinarian clinic and the animal shelter. I didn’t know much about him, but I’d seen him around town a few times. He was a handsome man, somewhat older than us in his mid-thirties, and I knew that he wasn’t in town often because he had some other businesses elsewhere. “He’s not in Canyon Beach often, though, is he?”
“Not often.” Abby looked away as if she didn’t want to continue the conversation. Interesting. What was going on there? I was about to ask another question, when the doorbell rang. Stella, Abby, and I all looked at each other in surprise.
“Who’s that?” Jules sauntered into the living room with the new bottle of wine. “Did you invite someone else?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I was going to invite Lily but figured she needed her sleep.”
“Is Lily back?” Jules’s eyes lit up. “I thought she was still in England.”
Lily had been our partner in crime all through high school. She had gone to college and law school and then worked in a law firm for a year in London, but had decided to move back home because she’d missed Canyon Beach.
“Nope, she got back yesterday.” I smiled. “But I’m sure she has jetlag.” The doorbell rang again and I stood up. “I guess I should check who it is.” I stood up and the girls got up behind me.
“So, what’s Lily going to do now?” Jules asked me as we walked to the front door. Whoever was there was now knocking loudly.
“Wow, do you think that’s Jeff come to seduce you?” Stella asked.
“Not sure,” I said to Jules and then looked over at Stella. “And I wish.” I winked at her and we both giggled. I flung open the front door and there standing outside the door with a scowl on his face was my older brother, Nolan.
“Betsy.” He gave me a curt nod, and then he walked inside and pulled Jules to him. “Why haven’t you been answering my texts and calls?”
“Oh, oops.” Jules offered him a sweet smile. “Sorry, I forgot. I meant to text you back, but we were busy helping Betsy.” Then she hiccupped, and I laughed.
“Are you drunk?” Nolan’s eyes narrowed, and he looked at me. “What’s going on here?”
“Hello to you too, dear brother.” I rolled my eyes. I was used to him being overprotective when we were younger, but this was ridiculous. “We’re drinking and talking about getting men.”
“Getting men?” He frowned. “What the hell does that mean?”
“We’re going to enter the Canyon Beach Bachelor Auction,” Stella spoke up and grinned. “We can tell you more about it if you want a glass of wine.”
“How can you enter the auction? You’re not men.”
“Well, duh,” I said looking into his stern green eyes. “We’re going to make a Bachelorette Auction.”
“What?” he scoffed. “That’s stupid.”
“Nolan.” Jules touched his shoulder lightly. “Why is that stupid?”
“How are you guys going to offer yourselves up? Are you prostitutes?”
“Oh, hell, no,” I muttered.
“Really?” Jules glared at him.
“Don’t bite the messenger, but let’s be real. Any men that buy you are going to expect sex.”
“No, they’re not.” Stella made a face at him. “And it doesn’t matter what you think, because all four of us are going to enter.”
“Wait, what?” His voice grew louder. “All four of you? Jules?”
“Actually, maybe five of us,” I said with a smirk. “I’m going to see if Lily will join us.”
“Lily’s back?” Nolan looked surprised, and I nodded.
“Yup, she got back last night.”
“I wonder if John knows.” John was Lily’s ex-best friend. I shrugged. “Hmm.” Nolan was quiet for a few moments and then he looked at Jules. “You agreed to be a part of this stupid plan?”
“It’s not stupid.” Jules pursed her lips. “And why should the men have all the fun?”
“You’d be okay if I entered, and some girl bid on a date with me?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well, I’d bid on you, and so the date would be with me.” She put her hands on her hips. “Are you trying to say that you wouldn’t bid on me? Am I not worth it?”
“Yeah, Nolan, is your girlfriend not worth it?”
“You girls are too much.” He looked at me. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head and looked away from him. “Let’s go to the living room. I feel weird standing here.”
“Do you have any beer?” Nolan asked. He walked past me into my living room before I could answer. I closed the door and looked at Jules who was rolling her eyes as we followed behind him.
“Yes.” I headed into the kitchen where I grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge then went back to the living room. “Here you go.” I handed the bottle to my brother, who took it from me without even saying thank you. He was saying something to Jules, who was mumbling something back to him. “Are you being a bossy boots again?” I chided him. “Dude, you’re her boyfriend, not her dad.”
“I was worried that something had happened to her, thank you very much.” He gave me a sharp look, and I rolled my eyes.
“Uh-huh. Likely story.” I looked at Stella and Abby and could see that they were both grinning as they sipped their glasses of wine. “Anyways.” I sat back down and grabbed another chocolate. “What did you want from Jules so badly, anyways?”
“I wanted to know if she was staying over tonight.”
“I’m staying over at my own place tonight.” She stroked his arm. “I told you that this morning.”
“Yeah, but I was missing you, so I was hoping you had changed your mind.” He kissed her cheek, and I made a retching noise. “Grow up, Betsy.”
“You grow up.” I made a face at him and then the doorbell rang again. I looked at Stella, and she shrugged. “Who can that be now? Nanna?”
“That’s Jeff,” Nolan said holding Jules’s hand. “I texted him to come by.”
“What?” I froze. I looked like a hot mess. Ugh! “What is he doing here? Why did you text him?”
“I told him about your plan to join the Bachelor Auction. I’m hoping he can knock some sense into you guys.”
“Nolan!” Julia gave
him a look. “Sometimes you’re insufferable, you know that, right?”
“That’s why you love me, though.”
“Perhaps.” She giggled and gave him a quick peck.
“Please save it for the bedroom, guys.” I sighed and walked to the front door. “I cannot believe you invited Jeff over.” I quickly patted my hair as I licked my lips. Stella gave me a thumbs-up sign. I smiled gratefully at her as I adjusted my top and took a deep breath.
I opened the front door and there stood Jeff, looking fit and handsome in a white T-shirt and black gym shorts. His short dark hair had drops of water on the end and his blue eyes looked at me with an amused expression.
“How’s it going, Betsy?”
“Not bad, just come from the gym?” I asked him, trying hard not to stare at his biceps. Boy, was he fit.
“Yeah, today was upper body.” He ran his hand through his hair and he looked me up and down. “I’m guessing you’re just relaxing?”
“Oh?” I was taken aback at his comment. “What do you mean?”
“You have a wine stain on the front of your top.” He grinned and took a step toward me. “And you have some chocolate on your cheek.” He leaned his head in toward my face. For a second, I thought he was going to lick my face, and I trembled in anticipation, but then he took a deep sniff and leaned back. “Yup, smells like chocolate.” His eyes twinkled.
“Yes,” I said weakly. “I was eating chocolate with the girls.”
“So I heard. So, what craziness have you been up to?”
“What? Nothing,” I said, my heart skipping a beat as he gave me a look. “Why do you ask?”
“I heard you dropped off a, uh, package for Max, and then Nolan just texted and said you’re trying to be a part of the Bachelorette Auction. Are you interested in Max, then?” His eyes narrowed and his gaze was so intense that I suddenly felt very small.
“Huh?” I swallowed hard and took a step back.
“Answer the question, Betsy.”
All of a sudden I could see why he was a police officer. I couldn’t imagine what he would be like in an interrogation room.
“What question?” I had already forgotten what he’d asked me. I was too busy wondering what he would do if I reached up and pulled his face down to mine so that I could kiss him.
