by CORY CYR
“I didn't ask it for my amusement; I need to know so we can proceed. I want to gradually introduce you to certain techniques, and I want to make sure you’re comfortable, Nic.”
She almost appeared childlike at that point. Her eyes got big and her hands began to fidget.
“I never saw the point… doing that knowing it would only frustrate me more because I knew I'd never be with Chris again.” Nic spoke in a hushed voice.
I moved close to her and clasped her chin in my hand. I almost felt the need to brush my lips against hers, but logic overruled those thoughts. I'd known loss but never truly experienced the feeling. Nic had suffered with it all these years and wallowed in her pain. She was unlike any woman I'd ever known.
“Oh, Nic. The first rule of developing sexuality is manual stimulation, masturbation. It's so much more than just pleasuring yourself. It not only stimulates you, but also relaxes the body. Think of it as yoga for your pussy.”
Her cheeks burned brightly as I continued to hold her chin and stare directly into her eyes. “You can never truly experience the flesh of another until you've mastered your own.”
12~Nicola
I felt as though I were sleepwalking as I went back to my room. The entire conversation with Cass was humiliating. Masturbation, really? Oh, I'd be lying if I said I'd never thought about it, and there had been a time, once, maybe twice, okay, even possibly a third time, that I might have let my hand graze my sex as I showered. But actually getting myself off, never. I didn't think it was possible to have an orgasm without a partner.
Why was I letting a virtual stranger talk to me about these things? Why was I allowing him to convince me to do these things? In my brief time here, I’d chosen to discuss sex with a man I didn’t know and watch people having sex. Who am I? Cass had insinuated that my first task at hand, so to speak, was going to be manual stimulation: masturbation.
I felt embarrassed, mortified, as I sat on my bed. I had loved Chris so much. Had… Since when had I ever referred to Chris as past tense? What was happening to me? Barely three days with a virtual stranger and I was already over the love of my life? Tears of shame fell down my cheeks as I try to comprehend my feelings.
Cass was making me feel disoriented. I couldn't put a name to my feelings toward him. They felt foreign. I realized I was attracted to him, but I didn't understand why. I hardly knew him, and his life was anything but an open book. He was too straightforward and blunt for my tastes. He had no interest in me other than his research. I wished I'd never come to Acquiesce. I wished I'd never met him. Everything about him felt wrong. He was too young, too handsome, too educated, too everything. My first time out and I chose to strive for something so above my station sexually that I had no chance of reaching it.
I carefully pulled off my dress and decided to take a bath. God only knew what Cass had planned for this evening. Whatever it was, I was to meet him in his room at seven thirty sharp.
***
I’d changed into another dress, a casual floral print, comfortable but well fitting. Cass had told me to come without shoes, but I chose a pair of flip-flops rather than troll the hallway in bare feet. His room was nine doors from mine. Yes, I had counted. When he answered my knock, he was towel-drying his semi-wet hair, minus a shirt. Damn, but he looked sublime all wet. I'd never been this close to his chest, and it looked smooth and soft yet packed with hard muscle. Beads of water dripped from the ends of his long hair onto his shoulders, and for one brief moment, I wanted to reach out and capture a single droplet.
“Sorry, I ran a little late. Come in please,” he said as he made room for me to pass.
A nervous flutter circulated through me as I navigated through the doorway. Cass's room was decorated in dark colors, unlike mine, which had been furnished in light wood and had an airy feel to it. There were two windows like mine, but the floors, walls, and the bedframe were dark wood—a more masculine tone. The bed had no canopy, and he appeared to have a shower stall instead of the magnificent bathtub.
“Have a seat while I finish getting dressed,” he said as he walked back into the bathroom and started the blow-dryer. There was a single high-back cushioned armchair in the center of his room. I knew by instinct that this chair was placed purposely. I sat on it and began having second thoughts about this entire self-exploration, aka masturbation. Did he seriously think I was going to let him watch, or worse yet, watch and take notes? Did he plan to critique me?
“Stop overthinking tonight. Trust me, Nic. You're going to enjoy this. It's going to be pleasurable for you. You’re acting like I've planned torture for you,” he quipped, shaking his head while slipping on a black shirt. As he pulled the shirt over his head, his lean, muscled body stretched, causing the band of his shorts to dip quite low, and my eyes were immediately drawn to the tattoo, okay, the tattoo and possibly what he was harboring beneath those shorts. When I saw the design, I was so captivated by it. I'm sure I held my breath.
“Your tattoo, the one, um… I'm curious. What is it, what does it mean?” I'm sure I sounded like a babbling child.
Cass turned toward me as he pulled down the right side of his shorts, exposing the tattoo long enough to see the beautiful art sitting along his indented V.
“It's the Chinese symbol of knowledge. Seemed appropriate at the time.”
“It's lovely,” I managed to utter.
“Not really what a man wants to hear about his tattoo choice. I was hoping for masculine or maybe prodigious.” He chuckled.
I looked at him, my eyes streamlining his sleek body, and my mind just blanked out.
“I'm not even sure what that word means,” I replied drolly.
“Burly, it means burly.”
“You really are smart, aren't you?” I asked, meaning it as a compliment.
“Yes, child prodigy, high IQ, etc., etc.,” he replied, waving his hand about. His answer seemed tentative and vague. “So, Nic, are you ready to start exploring?”
He spoke the words I dreaded. Apprehension covered me like a heavy blanket. Tonight was probably going to be disappointing for him and me. I nodded without any conviction. He knelt down to my level and placed both his hands on my thighs. I swear even through my thin dress, it felt like his touch was searing my flesh.
“You may be nervous at first, but believe me, what's about to happen is going to be illuminating. I guarantee you will wonder why you waited so long. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. I will guide you in the beginning until you are willing to take over, and I trust you will.”
“You're going to be in the room with me, watching, telling me what to do?” I'm sure my face reflected panic. I knew he'd be watching, but I assumed it would be via a mirror. But having him in the same room, there was no way I could go through with this.
“I don't think I can do what you expect me to, knowing you're in the room with me. It's too weird and honestly kind of freaking me out.”
He was still crouched with his hands on my thighs. He stood up and looked at me optimistically. “You'll hear my voice occasionally. I presumed you'd be uneasy about seeing me. I decided to remove myself visually.”
I released a sigh of relief. “Thank God. I thought you were expecting me—you know—to do that in front of you.”
“I do expect that, but I've chosen to use this to remove myself from your sight.”
I glanced up at him as he produced a black tie from his shorts pocket.
“A tie. Won't I need my hands for this?” I asked blankly.
He started laughing, loudly. I suddenly felt ignorant of what he knew and I didn't. He took one step and glided the black tie across my cheek. It felt silky and soft.
“It's not to bind you; it's to blind you.” His voice penetrated my body like a soothing caress, and I felt a flush come over my entire being. “Trust me; nothing is going to occur here except pleasure and hopefully release. Do you think you can make yourself come?” he asked as he handed me a bottle of lubricant.
Jesus, if he kept t
alking, I might just combust from his words. I wanted to say, Let's just get on with this so I can exit back to my room and take a nice cold bath.
“Are you ready, Nic?”
I nodded at his words, too dumbfounded to speak. He moved behind me and covered my eyes with the tie and took the bottle from my hands, and I felt him place it next to my feet. The room became pitch dark, but after a few minutes, my eyes adjusted and I was sure I saw his shadow.
“I'm going to turn on some music very quietly so you can still hear my voice. From here on, please do not speak to me or ask any questions. Just listen to the music and the sound of my voice.”
I began to say something and felt his fingertips brush over my lips.
“Not a word, Nic. Just touch yourself, feel.”
I heard music come from behind me. I wondered where Cass was. I felt nervous and my senses were off because I couldn't see. Shifting in my seat, I tried to get my bearings. I'm sure it had only been moments, but it felt longer before he spoke. The timbre of his voice startled me.
“You need to be comfortable, Nic. Can you remove your flip-flops?”
I kicked them off, flipping them away from me. I was hoping, actually praying, that was the only item he wanted removed. I began to wonder if he expected me to completely disrobe.
“I want you to reach under your dress and remove your panties… Can you do that for me?”
My face felt like it was on fire, and I was suddenly thankful I couldn't see. Could I actually do this? Could I do what he was asking me too? Who am I? If I was lucky, maybe the room was so dim by now that Cass couldn't see either. Between confliction and discomfort, I struggled to remove my panties, finally pushing them down to my ankles and using both thumbs to discard them completely. It felt both mortifying and somewhat freeing to be sitting on this grand chair sans panties.
“Please pull your dress up enough so you can access yourself better, and at some point, you may want to spread your legs.”
My God, he sounded so mechanical. It was as if seeing me spread eagle without panties had no affect on him at all. I decided right at the moment that Cass was emotionally stunted. I stopped before my dress rose past my core. I had no intention of showing him my vagina.
“You're not able to see your pussy, and neither can I, but rest assured, it's beautiful, warm, and welcoming. I need you to reach down by your feet and take some of the lube and put it in the palm of your hand, then use that hand and touch your outer lips—your labia. Brush your fingers over the center divide.”
My breath hitched as I followed his instructions. The sensation sent shockwaves up my spine, and I had to shift my body to accommodate the new feeling. He was right; it felt warm, almost hot.
“Take one finger and make sure it's lubricated well before pushing it inside. When you feel comfortable and stretched, you can use two. Caress your inner lips. You'll find the first few inches are the most sensitive.”
I wanted to come out of the chair at that moment. I felt the walls of my vagina pulsating as though it had a heartbeat of its own. My finger was slick with oil and need, and my breathing had become shallow.
“I don’t know if you are aware of this, Nic, but your clit is very much like a cock. It has a hood and it's able to swell and become engorged. Consider it the epicenter of your release, well, it and your G-spot, but we'll save that conversation for another day,” he murmured. “When you feel ready, push two fingers in, as deeply as is comfortable, and curve them. You'll find a hard nub. That's your G-spot. I'm sure what you want to do right now is urinate, but the feeling will pass.”
I almost couldn't stand the sensation. Every single inch of me felt frenzied. My sex was now throbbing so loud I was positive Cass could hear it. I was so wet. Hell, I was engulfed in lubricant and arousal, my inner thighs slick with it. I couldn't help it. I let out a sob and it was loud enough to hear above the music. I squirmed in the chair, feeling overly exposed, my emotions raw.
“Gently stroke the entire area up and down while skimming your fingers against the outer lips. Use your free hand to knead your entire mound. This will help to increase the blood flow and heighten your sensitivity—everywhere. I have no doubt your nipples are hard and protruding, and if you were with a partner right now, every single part of your body would be electrified.”
I had a shocking revelation for Cass, that having him in the room right now was about to push me over the edge into an unknown abyss of elation. What I desperately wanted right now was for him to touch me—anywhere. I wasn't sure how much more I could take, and I knew this would continue until I reached orgasm. I wished I paid attention to a few of those movies I’d seen; then I'd know how to fake one, because all I could think about currently was release and running.
“God, you smell exquisite,” he said, his voice hoarse.
I cringed. Oh, how embarrassing. He can smell me? Should I just die in humiliation now? I swear he had no filter between his brain and his mouth; he was like a male version of Dee. I promised when this tie came off, I just might strangle him with it. I wished he'd just stop talking.
“Now separate your labia again and use two or three fingers and find your clit. Move those fingers in a circular motion, or from side to side if you wish. Make sure you put just enough pressure there. You won't need any more lube. I have no doubt you’re soaked with your own juices at this point.”
Could he just shut up? Please just be silent and leave me be.
As I did what he told me to, my head fell back and my thighs fell wide open as I struggled to keep my wits about me. I hadn't felt anything this amazing in a very long time, and holy hell, it felt good, so good I might want to do this all the time. There was an overwhelming awareness building up in me; it was coming in waves. My entire body felt on fire. I almost couldn't take the feeling it was so intense. I began to moan as I rocked myself forward.
“Tap your clit gently, tease it, and push those two fingers in all the way, deeply. Circular motions, going very fast. If you stimulate your clit at the same time, you'll come.”
I was past the point of no return, I no longer cared he was in the room, because somewhere deep in my mind, Cass was moving inside me, gliding his long fingers over my body, pressing his lips to mine and using his tongue to caress the inside of my mouth. I arched my back in response to my thoughts and the feeling of electric impulses shooting up both legs into my sex. My vagina tightened around my fingers and my body stiffened, a loud scream tearing from my mouth as my entire world exploded into dizzying release.
As I came down from my euphoric state, I began to cry, deeply. I wasn't sure if it was because of my orgasm or because I’d achieved it without Chris and it felt as though I’d let him go. In less than two hours, I had erased the least eleven years. It filled me with both sadness and freedom.
13~Caspian
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I hissed as I held my cock in one hand and slid the soap up and down it with the other. Jesus H. Christ, I hadn't masturbated since I was fourteen, and here I was beating myself off like some pubescent youth. The pressure had been too much. About twenty unfamiliar emotions had assaulted my senses, including want and desire. I had no experience with either. All I knew was watching Nic make herself come had pushed me to my limits.
When I’d run out of the room, it was out of necessity. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop myself from taking her. I figured a nice brisk evening walk would help clear my mind and possibly make my aching cock shrink. By the time I got back to my room, she had gone, nothing to remind me of what had happened an hour ago but the chair and my black tie lying on the floor next to it.
I never wanted or needed. It wasn't part of my chemical makeup. I never had to want or need. Those emotions belonged to women. They’d always had those feelings toward me, never vice-versa.
In my months at Acquiesce, I’d never once become stimulated, aroused, or frustrated. Apparently, Nic had brought all three to the surface. If I had viewed this problem logically, I could have gone to Lorrai
na's bed. She would have gladly given my cock a home for the evening. But I chose to stand in my fucking shower and use my own hand. It had only taken a minute. By the time I got back to my room, I’d been prepared to explode.
There had been several moments while I watched Nic touch herself that I’d lost focus and pre-cum had stained my shorts. When she’d let out her banshee cry of release, that was it. I knew I had to get out of the room, because the only thing I could think of was burying my cock so deep within her ass the entire island would hear her screams.
I couldn't fathom how this slip of a woman had somehow inundated my thought process. Yes, she was attractive and had a nice body, but so had the other hundreds of women I'd slept with. The difference was Nic was older, much older than my twenty-six years, and a rookie when it came to sexual experience, two of the things I loathed in the women I fucked. But her aroma, her mews, watching as she shifted her body on that chair and wishing I could see her clearly had nearly brought me to my knees.
The dim lamp in my room and the darkness of the evening had cloaked her from my vision. I could see her faint outline, and I could visualize what she was doing as I ticked off my instructions. But it was what I couldn't see that unhinged me. I imagined her legs falling apart as she’d hiked up her floral dress and removed her panties. I imagined the glistening droplets of moisture gathering at her apex as she coated her fingers in the lube I provided. I had wanted it to be my fingers, my touch, and my tongue to make her cry out in a sob or a sigh.
I was a professor in human sexuality, and I found myself without logical explanation for what was happening. I'd never had a female friend, but I imagined this wasn’t the way of friendship. Nic and I were like two sides of a very different coin. She believed in love and forever; I believed in the present, the now, and love was a chemical response, nothing more. Besides, she still loved Chris, her dead husband, and sex for her would always go hand in hand with love. I, on the other hand, had no explanation for my current infatuation with this forty-year-old widow.
