by CORY CYR
Now I was more confused than ever. He was like a schizophrenic Einstein. One minute I was positive he was rejecting me, and the next he asked me to stay. For being so intelligent, he was acting crazy. Maybe he was just as confused as I was. Maybe he was no longer sure about his study and I had weakened his theory.
I dug through his closet and pulled a shirt from one of the hangers. It went to my knees, but it was much better than the dress I’d worn or a towel. Me sleeping with Cass naked… I tried not to think about that too much because I knew if I did, we weren't getting much sleeping done. I was exhausted. It had been a four-hour marathon of sexual perversion. I laughed.
I sat on the bed Indian style, waiting for him to get out of the shower. After a few moments, I got up and blew out all but one candle, then slipped into the cool, fresh sheets. I turned on my side, facing away from the bathroom door, not knowing how to feel right now. A part of me was overwhelmed with possibilities, but the sensible part of me knew this was going nowhere.
In days, all of this—me being with Cass and Acquiesce—would be over. He would return to freelancing and completing his book, and I would return to… what? I now knew I could have more if I wanted it. It was mine for the taking. Cass had shown me a path, one I desperately wanted to follow. My only problem was I wanted him to take the journey with me. Everything he’d fought so hard to avoid had happened. When I went down the string of events, what we’d done together, I didn't have any idea who I had become and who I would be after we parted.
It was hard for me to imagine exploring this kind of sexuality with someone else. I only felt this free and adventurous with him. Had it always been inside me and had Cass brought it to the surface? I knew doing these things with Chris would have been out of the question; it wasn't his nature. He’d been a kind and respectful lover, while Cass was more animalistic. He believed in people's iniquitous instincts and thrived on those facts.
I’d never thought his kind of sex would be pleasurable. However, I’d been wrong. No matter how uncomfortable he had made me by doing certain sex acts, the facts were I loved it—I flourished during each encounter. Maybe it was because of my feelings toward him and wanting to satisfy his needs, or he had discovered a part of me I had kept buried. It's as if he’d known who I really was and had given me the tools to embrace the real me. My dilemma would be who I would become after we went our separate ways. Would I fall back into my dark melancholy of loss?
37~Caspian
Jesus, what was I thinking? Why in the hell had I asked Nic to stay? I rubbed my body furiously with a towel, as if I were punishing myself for being so ignorant. Once I was dry, I put on a pair of track shorts I had carelessly tossed on the floor the previous day. I pushed my one hand through my wet hair as I used the other to swipe the mirror.
“Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Professor Caspian Vance?” I whispered, shaking my head. Why did I want her to stay the night? I didn't do “sleepovers.” That had never been my MO, so why in the hell had I asked? I couldn't very well take it back. Okay, I could, but I wasn’t sure being a douche right now would be in my best interest.
Nic and I were friends, and contrary to what I’d believed in the beginning, I enjoyed not only fucking her, but her company. She made me laugh and questioned me at every turn. She’d been eager to try anything and she allowed me free range of her body. I never expected her to be so amendable.
There was no way I could let one person I chose for my research alter months of findings. I had no idea what my current state of confusion meant, but I planned to study it also. Why did I let her change me? I went into this thing with Nic head on, in full research mode. It never crossed my mind, ever, that she would become the singular consequential person in my life—and it pissed me off.
These last few weeks at Acquiesce had altered so much of my perception, and I had no doubt it had everything to do with meeting Nic. Restlessness stirred deep in my chest as I pondered never seeing her again. I shrugged off the sudden onslaught of emotions. Nic was my friend and I would miss her, but this would never be anything more.
I noticed only one candle burning as I stepped out of the bathroom. I chuckled because I heard tiny snoring sounds coming from Nic; I supposed I tired her out. I blew out the one candle and moved over to the glass door. I slid it all the way open, letting the cool breeze rush into the bedroom. As the fullness of the moon shadowed her face, I stood there and just watched her.
A sigh left my lips as I tucked myself in next to her, wrapping my body around her. She stirred briefly, entangling her legs with mine. I'd never known familiarity with someone like this. I had no reasoning why I wanted it or even liked it, but I did. I nuzzled into her neck and breathed in. She smelled like her and me, our combined aromas mingling into a single scent.
I reveled in the fact that my body was touching hers and she smelled like my cologne because she was wearing one of my shirts. I kissed her neck and had to mentally hold myself in check from letting my lips drift upward to kiss her fully on the mouth. What is this obsession with wanting to kiss her? I knew without a doubt just doing that one trivial thing would break us.
***
“Cass, what? Huh, oh God, yes.” Nic sounded dazed as she began to pant. I chuckled and sent another vibration into her clit as she pulled on my hair. In all fairness, I did begin licking and sucking her clit while she was still asleep.
I had woken up with the most massive, painful hard-on I'd ever experienced, and trying to piss had been a bitch. Even after my dick had deflated enough to pee, once I’d finished, the blood appeared to rush through my cock like a freight train, making my veins prominent and the head engorged.
Initially, it had crossed my mind to fuck her, but anal sex is probably not the way to wake up a novice, so I chose oral. Nothing like brunch in the Caribbean. When she finally became conscious, she appeared confused, until my laughter sent a vibration so deep inside her she almost came immediately. Between her rapid breathing and the hair pulling, I waited patiently for that surge of release that would make my taste buds explode with her flavor.
“Stop, I can't take anymo—shit, right there… oh, oh, oh God.” In one final moment, she let out such a loud shriek I was sorry I hadn't closed the sliding glass door. There was no question someone had heard her. Of course, it was a brothel, so narrowing down screams of pleasure would be quite the task. I chuckled again.
“Enough, Cass, I can't take anymore. I'm too sensitive now,” she moaned, playfully slapping my face away from her pussy.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked as I rolled myself out of bed. I watched as she stretched, flexing her legs and toes. She has beautiful toes. Fuck, what was wrong with me? Maybe I'd overindulged in pussy—too much of a good thing? No, that wasn’t it. It was, Nic—no, it wasn’t her. Why did I keep blaming a forty-year-old widow for my indecisions? No one ruled my determination but me. I am in total control.
“Can I do something for you, Cass… I mean, in return for such an outstanding wakeup call?”
A blowjob right now should’ve been what I wanted. I could feel my dick agreeing with me as it began to expand, but we needed to get out of this room. I’d already crossed too many lines with Nic, and right now I was more confused than ever.
“As much as I want to say yes…” I nodded toward her, then titled my eyes downward so she could see my blatant erection. “I'm really hungry. Aren't you? It's almost noon.”
I saw a hint of disappointment skim her face as she slid her legs out of the bed.
“Okay, I guess I'll go to my room and get dressed. I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes?” she asked, gathering her clothing off the floor.
“Yeah, sounds good. Meet me by the pool. Do you want eggs or pancakes?”
“Pancakes and some fruit, and don't forget the coffee,” she said, looking back at me as she cracked open the room door. As the door swung open a little more, I recognized the shoes on the other side and whom they belonged to.
“Good
morning, Cass—or should I say afternoon?” Lorraina glared at me, her eyes darting to my shorts, then over to an embarrassed Nic, who was attempting to squeeze past her. “Hello, Mrs. Barrington.”
I swear I almost saw Lorraina bare her teeth. This was one of my many arguments why women were so unreasonable. I almost felt like I was now either dodging bullets or stepping through a minefield, and Lorraina had the knowledge and the demeanor to set off either of them.
“Did you want something, Lorraina?” I asked, flashing her an icy stare.
She pushed past Nic. “Can't I just visit my cousin? We only have days until you leave. I also wanted to make sure you knew we might get the tail end of a tropical storm—hurricane. They have assured me it's nothing, but I wanted to make sure all guests were aware that as of tonight, we should be cautious and everyone needs to stay indoors. I am having the staff take the necessary precautions, but it's nothing major to worry about. Thought you'd want to know. At least I don't have to make an unnecessary stop at your room, Mrs. Barrington.”
Nic's face bloomed with heat; she knew what Lorraina meant. I watched uncomfortably as she tugged on my shirt she still wore. “Fifteen minutes, Cass. See you then,” she said nervously as she nodded to Lorraina. I watched as she bolted out the door and I could hear her feet as she began practically running to her room.
“You're a bitch, Lorraina. I mean, seriously, why are you here? Hurricane my ass. Your staff would have given all the guests notice downstairs, so what do you really want?” I walked past her to grab a clean shirt from the closet.
“So you are fucking her, and you allowed her to spend the night?” she asked, her lips twisted into a thinly veiled smile.
As I pulled the shirt over my head, I watched as she licked her lips in either approval or anticipation—both of those things were off the table with her. I didn’t do cunts—ever. I felt awkward just wearing my track shorts and was hoping she'd leave soon so I could throw on a pair of light sweats.
“I'm not discussing my sex life with you, Lorraina, now or any other time. I'll ask you once more. WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I wasn’t only ticked off now, but also irritated with her, for no other reason than how she’d just treated Nic.
Lorraina sat on the edge of the bed, patting it for me to sit down.
“I don't have time for this. I have a breakfast engagement.” I stared at her with a hardened look. I realized she had the means to fuck me up and she obviously had some twisted agenda, so I'd better curtail the hostility and start smothering her with charm.
“I appreciate the weather update, but I need to get going,” I said, motioning her toward the door.
“Sleep with me, Caspian.”
I stopped in my tracks and turned to her. Lorraina and I had always had an understanding. She’d always been like me, a little bit cold and stoic. That's why fucking her had been so optimal. Jesus, she didn't ask me to fuck her; she just asked me to sleep with her. Fucking her would be one thing, although I’d already told her no several times now, but sleeping with her, well, that appeared to have a double connotation, especially when it came to women.
“Define sleep together,” I said, backing away from her, having no doubt what she meant. She wanted what every woman wanted; she wanted what she thought I gave Nic. I internally sighed because my brain was beginning to win the battle for my theories again.
“I want us to fuck, or rather, faire l'amour.”
Make love. She really is out of her mind. Exactly what did she think happened in the four months here on the island? That I suddenly decided to go vanilla and have nothing but straight sex? Maybe Brit was right. Being bisexual was the way to go, because males definitely have less hang-ups and are far less likely to let their emotions rule their thoughts.
If Brit were witness to what I was thinking, worrying about Lorraina fucking me wouldn't be my only concern. I pulled a pair of sweatpants out of my drawer and folded them over my arm.
“Lorraina, it's never going to happen. I’ve been telling you for months now that our time ended years ago. Why can't you just remember the good times we shared? I don't understand you continually asking. It's not like you to act so… needy.”
She stood and her face was a mask of confusion and outrage. “I seem to recall you being the needy one when you came to my room. Explain to me how you would deny yourself all of this,” she said, running her hands over her full breasts and cupping her sex. “And you choose to be with that older woman. I don't get it, Caspian. It makes no sense.”
I wanted to ask her if she’d taken a good look at Nic, because I had and she was a breathtaking woman, much too beautiful and perfect for what I’d assumed forty to be. Long blond hair, intensely unusual eyes, perfectly round, lush breasts, a pussy that beckoned the minute it was exposed, and an ass that rivaled any I'd seen—and I'd seen hundreds. If Lorraina had access to what I was thinking, she'd walk away for fear I'd gone insane.
“I told you before we're just friends.”
“Caspian, don't lie to me. We’ve been friends for a very long time. She slept here with you, in your bed. I can't imagine what you're thinking and how this is going to end, and it will end you know—badly,” she remarked.
“I told you before I won't discuss my personal life with you, and I don't like idle threats.” I watched as she walked to the door.
“I think you know me well enough, Caspian. I never do idle.”
***
I quickly put on the sweats and grabbed some sandals, toeing them on as I shut the door and made my way down the hall. Fuck, fuck, double fuck. Lorraina could tear apart my friendship with Nic. If I were smart—and I am—I'd come clean and tell her everything. I cringed at the prospect of how she would take it. Another peculiar thing I noted about women: they hate liars.
“Hey, sorry I'm late. I couldn't get Lorraina to leave,” I said, coming up behind Nic in the dining room.
“That was humiliating. What she must think of me…” she whispered, her cheeks flushed with heat.
“She owns a brothel. I'm going to say she expects fucking.” I chuckled, trying to keep our conversation light.
Nic looked up at me with a frown as she rolled her eyes. “Did she ask… I mean… about us?”
I nodded. “She did, and I told her nothing. I'm not going to discuss my sex life with Lorraina. She knows my private life is my own.” I grabbed a plate and began filling it with pancakes, sausage, and eggs. Nic had already gotten her pancakes and topped her fruit with sweet cream.
“Can you grab that coffee? I had them put it in a thermos for us,” she said as she balanced two mugs along with her plate. I reached over and put the thermos under one arm and snatched two bagels and piled them on my plate.
“You are hungry,” she said, laughing, as we strolled out to the pool area. The sky was a radiant blue and crystal clear, not a storm cloud in sight. We sat at one of the tables, side by side instead of across from one another. I poured the coffee as she looked around.
“So time is a wasting. Not many more days left on the island. What do you want to do?” I asked, arching both eyebrows, trying to appear dastardly.
“Well, I'd love to go back to that waterfall and maybe walk along the beach one more time. Do you think we have time before that supposed storm hits?”
“I do. The weather appears calm right now, so after we eat, we take advantage. If and when this storm breaks, we could be stranded for the next day or so in our rooms… Whatever will we do?” I snickered.
She giggled. “You know the library has quite a few board games.”
“Oh, I have many different recreational activities planned, ones I'm positive you'll want to play. Are you game, Nic?”
38~Nicola
I could only imagine Cass's ideas for weathering out a storm. I had some of my own, and they included the handcuffs and the violet wand. I never expected to be on the cusp of an orgasm while I was asleep. He’d taken full advantage of me, and I must admit it had given a completely new meaning to good mornin
g. I’d loved sleeping in his bed and had woken up twice to find him spooned into my body and our legs linked.
I hadn't felt that closeness since Chris, and I’d missed it; I would miss it when this was all over. Our time had almost ended and we would go our separate ways. We lived thousands of miles apart, although I did have the loft in New York, which wouldn't be so far from New Hampshire. Cass freelanced, so he would be traveling all over the place. I wondered if he'd let me write him or maybe we could Skype or talk on the phone.
I knew I was being silly. Us living miles apart was the least of our obstacles, including the age difference as well as the fact that Cass was adamant he didn't do relationships or dating of any kind. I assumed within a week of us being apart, he'd be on to his next project, someone more age appropriate.
I had known, even if I hadn't reconciled with the truth, that this was a fling, a place where I was unknown and could spread my wings, so to speak. Yes, I’d hated it in the beginning—no electronics, being lied to by the only two friends I had and shuffled off to a private male brothel—but everything had been worth it. Cass was right about one thing. I had to believe in something more, had to expand my horizons.
Before I came here, I thought you only got one chance at real, true love, but I knew that to be false now. What I had with Chris was the love of fairytales, but what I felt for Cass was raw, uncensored, and all-consuming. Nevertheless, I had to face facts. This was a solo affair; he was never going to love me. And if there was one bright side to this pain deep in my soul, it was knowing he'd never love anyone.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spied Dee walking over to us.
“Don't look now, but evil is almost upon us,” I murmured to Cass.
He looked up from his fork and grinned as he shook his head. “Be nice. Maybe she's wants to mend fences. You two have been friends for years. This too shall pass,” he quipped.
