by CORY CYR
I shook my head no as my entire body began to shake.
Lorraina walked over to her bookcase and pulled out a book. “Here's the last one. I suppose it's of interest to other scholars, but personally, I found it tedious. I'm sure I’ll not at all like this final book he's writing. I imagine you’ve given him so much material it may require two volumes,” she said with a mocking smile as she handed me the book.
I stared at the photo on the back. I tried to convince myself this wasn't him, but I knew beneath the expensive suit and tie, the short dark hair, the clean-shaven face, and the thick glasses this was undoubtedly Cass. You could change a multitude of things on him, but his smug demeanor and those eyes would always stand out.
“Don't be too severe with him. You never honestly thought you were anything but an experiment, did you? Why do you think I allowed him to have full access to Acquiesce? It was the only way he could get enough subjects of a mature age for his book. Just between you and me, Caspian never fucks anyone older than he is. I personally think it's a dominance thing and young women are more flexible—literally.” Her voice cackled with a chuckle.
My hands were now shaking and I felt sick. This was my fault. I never questioned him. Sure, he’d mentioned a few personal things, but I’d never even bothered to ask about his last name. He told me he freelanced and all this research was for a romance fiction. He was twenty-six years old. How could he be a professor? Oh, he was a genius, the one thing he didn't lie about.
I began to wonder if he lied about his parents, where he stayed sometimes, and other things we spoke about. I’d bared my soul to him; he knew intimate details about my life and about Chris. He’d told me I could trust him and he would never hurt me.
This entire three weeks had been a ruse. I’d been right all along; I was just a subject for his latest book—a non-fiction, not some romance novel like he touted. I cringed knowing what I’d shared with him, physically and emotionally, realizing he’d lied the entire time. Although, in his world, he’d just omitted a few facts.
I stood up and handed back the book. I’d been correct. Lorraina was a French bitch, and it gave her some perverse pleasure to step on my heart.
“Well, thank you for the information,” I muttered. “It's been enlightening.” I continued as I walked to the door.
Lorraina was caressing Cass's book, then placed it on her desk. “You do know we aren’t related?”
I stopped and studied her face. In my heart as well as my head, I knew what she was going to say, and the pain was so devastating I thought my legs might not support me.
“Caspian and I are lovers. We have been for many years,” she declared.
Suddenly, it became clear why he’d never made love to me or kissed me. It wasn't some emotional bullshit he claimed as his reasoning; it was because he already had someone, and they were both cut from the same cloth. I held my head up as I left her office, slamming the door behind me.
Motherfucker, I hated him. He should burn in hell for the lies he told me. I was so happy I was leaving in a few days. I never wanted to see this asshole again. Tears began leaking out of my eyes and falling down my face. God, I am not only stupid, but also pathetic.
By the time I got back to my room, I was in full sob mode. I sat on my bed and hugged myself while I rocked back and forth. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and dragged out my suitcases, tossing in all my clothes. I wanted to leave now. I was wealthy as sin; I certainly could buy my way off this hell island.
I stepped out onto my balcony and looked at the darkening sky. The reality was that storm was coming and it was arriving fast, and no amount of money was going to get me out of here tonight. Cass would want to see me, and I had no will in me to say no. I wanted to inform him that I knew the truth and regardless of how I felt about him, even love wasn't enough to allow me to forgive him.
***
I heard his familiar tap at my door a few hours later. He didn't wait for an invitation; he eased the door open, then stepped in.
“Everyone is having dinner in the indoor dining area. How about we join them?” Cass asked as he leaned against the closed door.
I had my back to him so he had no idea how furious I was or that my face was puffy and red from crying. As I turned toward him slowly, his face seemed to freeze with panic. I’d already slapped him once, so I felt like a punch to the gut was in order. I stomped over to him, slugging him so hard in those rock-hard abs it made my hand throb.
Cass doubled over. “What the fuck, Nic?”
I glared at him, and I could sense he knew. There was recognition in his eyes. “I'd kick you in the balls, but I'm sure Lorraina would be upset about that,” I spit out, my face filled with contempt.
Cass straightened up and held up his hands in surrender. “Lorraina? What the hell, Nic? What's going on? Talk to me.”
“Oh, I think you already know, Caspian.”
Cass's eyes closed as he leaned against the door, inhaling then exhaling. “Can I explain? Would you allow me that? I never meant to hurt you. Just let me tell you everything.”
I exploded in tears again as a helpless Cass stood and watched me come undone. “Get out of my way, Cass. Just fucking go away. You've had your fun. You've gotten all you need for that third book,” I screamed.
Cass's face was a mixture of grief and enragement. “Settle down, Nic. Let me talk to you.”
“Fuck you, Cass. Just go away… Just leave me alone,” I sobbed as I pushed him aside to get out of my room.
“Wait, Nic, I'll leave. You stay.”
I shook my head as I began walking away. “Being anywhere in your proximity is too close for me. I hate you, and that should make you happy since that proves your theory. Sex doesn’t equate love.”
I stomped through the house, bypassing other guests as well as Dee. The pain knifed through my chest, causing me to almost vomit. When did I become so ignorant and how did I let this happen? I wanted to get away from all of this, from Acquiesce and from Cass.
“I wouldn't go out there, miss,” I heard a voice say as I reached for the front door.
I didn't even look back. I just continued. The rain hadn't arrived yet, but it was certainly imminent if the dark and heavy clouds were any indication. I wanted to walk on the beach one last time, because the minute—no, the second—the storm passed, I was out of here.
I wondered if Lorraina and Cass were talking about how clueless I had been?
I hurried down the stairs and sat on the sand at the bottom. The ocean had gotten choppy and the sailboats were slapping against the dock. Seagulls filled the sky, another indication of the impending storm.
I twisted the bottom of my tank top as I continued to cry. It had been a long time since I’d gotten this emotional. I suddenly realized I hadn't cried like this since Chris died.
“Damn you, Chris. You left me by myself and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm making all the wrong choices, and look at my mistakes. Maybe if I'd been a better wife, a better lover, you would have fought harder to stay. How could I possibly love someone like him after I loved you?”
I knew I'd never get an answer, which was why the tears wouldn't stop. My head began to pound as I continued to cry. I lay back on the sand, wanting to dream of the past. I turned in a fetal position and closed my eyes. I needed to be with him. I dreamed of Chris.
I would have stayed with you forever. It wasn't your fault. Please be happy. You know what to do. You have your answer, beautiful. You love him—present tense—and you loved me—past tense.
“Jesus, Nic, what the hell? Wake up, baby.”
I could feel someone shaking me.
I opened my eyes, but it was now dark and I felt disoriented. “Chris?” I asked.
“Nic, it’s Cass. I need to get you in the house. You’re soaked. How long have you been out here?”
I felt strong arms reach under me and cradle me into his chest. I realized it was Cass as I snuggled into him, trying to soak up his warmth. “I'm cold. Why is
it so cold?” I asked faintly.
“You fell asleep on the beach. It's been raining for the last hour. I couldn't find you.” His arms pulled me in tighter as he walked up the stairs. “We need to get you in a hot bath,” he whispered as he kissed my forehead. I shuddered at his touch and briefly felt I could forgive him for anything.
“Is she okay?”
“Should we get the doctor?”
I recognized Pru’s and Dee's voices.
“I think she'll be fine once she gets a hot bath and warmed up.”
Everything on my body felt wet and matted, my clothes, my skin, and my hair. All I wanted right now was to burrow into Cass's chest and go back to sleep. I fisted his shirt as I lay in his arms.
“We'll be in your room in two seconds. I'll start the bath for you, then get out of your way. I do hope maybe in time you'll forgive me. I should have told you the truth when things got complicated—and they are complicated, Nic… You perplex me like no other.”
He laid me on my bed and walked to my bathroom and started running the water. I struggled to pull off my tank top and shorts. The crying had fatigued me to the point of exhaustion.
“Need some help?” he asked.
I shrugged, then nodded, clearly not in the right state of mind to make a decision. Cass knelt in front of me and bent my head forward so he could take off my top. My skin prickled with goose bumps from the cold and his touch. My nipples pebbled as he pulled it off and tossed it to the floor. He then pushed me back slightly on the bed as he slipped off my shorts, leaving me in only a thong.
“I have to turn off the water,” he said, standing up, his eyes averting mine, clearly aroused, judging by the tenting in his shorts.
I heard him flip the switch to stop the water, and when I looked at him, his eyes were heavy with regret.
“Your bath is ready. You'll be all right, won't you?” he asked as he headed toward my door.
“No, I'm not sure I'll ever be okay,” I said under my breath.
“Tell me what you need, Nic.”
“I need you, Caspian Vance.”
41~Caspian
When my name fell off her lips, it sent a shudder through my entire body. She wanted me, not Cass, but the actual me. Normally, that would horrify me, but the thought made my heart soar. I'd thought I had lost her.
When I couldn't find her, I thought the worst. Nic was strong physically, but emotionally she was fragile. I was afraid finding out about me would break her, and for the first time, I felt terrified she might hurt herself.
“Stay with me, Cass. Don't leave me.”
My gaze raked over her as she pulled down her thong. My cock was now full mast and straining for release. I stood as a statue while she unbuttoned my shirt, allowing me to shrug it off. Then she pushed down my sweatpants, liberating my cock. I kicked off my shoes, adding them to the pile of clothes on the floor.
She pressed herself into my body and the scent of her arousal filled my nose. I closed my eyes, wanting to savor this moment, wishing I could drop to my knees and lick her to climax. Her embrace centered my dick right above her pussy, and as if it were a beacon, my dick knew the warmth and wetness it would provide. A growl reverberated deep in my throat as I prodded her to the bathroom.
I got in first, then settled her between my legs. “Damn, I have to admit you do have the better room. This tub is amazing.” I noticed the skylight above us and the window in front, which was being heavily pelted by rain. I could hear the faint rumbling of thunder, and then a few minutes later, I saw a streak of lightning bolt across the sky.
“Mmm…” was her reply as she shifted her ass backward into my dick. I couldn't fuck her, not like that. I didn't want to. I wanted all of her; I wanted to be ingrained in her body so deeply I'd leave a mark—my mark. I'd already taken her ass, but I wanted more.
I grazed her shoulder with my teeth and then trailed my tongue up her neck, dipping tiny licks in the shell of her ear. I could hear her breathing getting quicker. I slid out from behind her and moved to sit in front of her. She looked confused. I dragged the sponge up and down her arms and down her chest as I leaned forward to capture a nipple in my mouth. I heard Nic moan as I sucked while I cupped the other breast in my hand. My mouth left her nipple and I began licking my way up her neck. I pressed a kiss there, then to her forehead, then to her nose.
Her eyes opened wide as she registered what was about to happen. My heart was hammering as I made the decision. My lips crushed down on hers and our tongues dueled for possession. The kiss bordered on shattering, and my desire to dominate her left me confused. I'd been with so many women but never made any connection, but with this one kiss, I was owned. I felt her body respond to my lips as though we were having sex. My hands cradled her face as my tongue searched all four corners of her mouth. She gently sucked on the tip of my tongue, causing me to moan. I couldn't get enough of her taste. I wanted all of her.
She pulled back, her lips swollen and pouty. “You kissed me.”
I chuckled. “I did. Wasn't too shabby after three years.”
She shook her head as she shyly nibbled on my shadowed chin. I captured her lips again and this time hungrily kissed her, grinding my body into hers.
“I have to breathe, Cass,” she joked as she struggled to get away.
“I'm not done with you yet. Come back here.”
“Fine, but can I at least dry off and get in some warm clothes. Whatever you have planned, can it not include water?”
I stood up, taking her with me. We both were covered in soapsuds, so I pulled down the shower attachment and rinsed us off before stepping out and wrapping her with a towel.
“Shit, my hair is a disaster. It's still wet.”
I watched as she began to unbraid her hair. I stood there naked and in awe until the last strand was free. She grabbed the blow-dryer and a brush and began drying it. I embraced her from behind, and she began to wiggle her ass at my cock. She wanted me to fuck her. She wanted anal. I broke the embrace and ran my hands through my damp hair, then cupped my chin. It's what she wanted, but what did I want?
She looked confused as I walked past her and sat on the bed. She came over to me a few minutes later, and I swear to God, she looked like Lady Godiva. Her hair was so wild and untamed and almost long enough to cover her ass and pussy. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen, and I knew I wanted to fuck her.
“We better light some candles. If this storm gets worse, the lights could go out. I'm sure Lorraina has a backup generator, but let's not take chances.”
I turned after lighting the candle and saw a look that screamed breach of trust. I moved over to Nic. “Lorraina and I were lovers a very long time ago. She wanted to be with me when I got here, and I said no. I know I'm asking a lot because I lied, but I'm not lying about her. You're the only one I've been with while I've been here, I swear.” Other than that hand job she gave me, and right now isn’t the time to confess that sin.
This time she kissed me. The kiss was so intense I could feel my cock stiffen and my balls tighten. We fell back on the bed with my legs tangled around hers. My fingers went right to her sex as we continued to probe each other's mouth with our tongues. Her entrance was slick with wetness and my fingers glided in easily. She moved slightly, and I stifled her moan with my mouth.
I found her clit and began to roll it between two fingers. I felt her muscles squeeze as I finger-fucked her. My cock was weeping with want, and at this moment, I knew what I needed. I wanted to make sure I didn't crush her with my full weight, so I eased myself up on both elbows.
Her face reflected bewilderment. “What are you doing?” she asked in a quiet tone.
“I think you know… Let me think it's like riding a bike?” I mused.
Her eyes pierced me with desire and need. I tested her sex once more and found her more than ready. My cock slipped in without hesitation, and it almost made me come. The sensation was surreal. I'd never forgotten what it felt like, but I did know it had never felt like t
his. I could feel Nic's pussy pulse all around me as I thrust in and out. Her body responded to mine as if she were made for me. My entire world splintered at that moment as a rush of heat so intense burned me from inside.
Our lips met again, and I wanted to absorb everything she could give me. Even as close as we were right now, I wanted more. Her vaginal muscles began to squeeze my cock as I felt her impending orgasm. I began to stroke with her movements. Her breathing became shallow gasps of air as I wrapped her hair around us.
I slid my other hand between us and my fingers brushed the outside of her sex. Her body bucked as her back arched and she began to shudder.
“I love you,” I heard her whisper.
At that moment, my body gave way to seismic release. My balls became so tight when I finally exploded I swear I saw stars. My body stilled as we both came down from a euphoric sexual high.
“I know you don't love me, but I wanted you to know no matter what happens, someone did love you—fiercely.”
I rolled off her with a sigh, turning onto my side. I’d just had intercourse for the first time in three years, with Nic. She had no idea what she’d just given me. Why couldn't she just be silent? I’d already known how she felt, but having her say it aloud devastated me. She had validated everything with those three little words. She hadn't said it until we had intercourse, until I kissed her. Everything she made me believe was incorrect. I’d won and she’d proven my point, and because of her, I now had my third book.
I turned toward Nic, but she’d rolled so her back was to me. I knew she wasn't asleep. I could tell by her breathing.
“I'm sorry, Nic, about everything. Don't hate me.”
42~Nicola
When I woke up, I knew he'd be gone. I was shocked he didn't pull out and leave, but I supposed even for Cass, that would be too much of a dick move. I knew this was my fault, and maybe subconsciously I had wanted him to go, because I'd always known it was inevitable.
I could feel panic surge throughout his entire body when I told him I loved him, and maybe I should have kept that my secret. Nevertheless, I’d told him the truth. I wanted Cass to know that no matter what, someone had loved him.
