by S. Nelson
And the biggest ramification was that Emily was now pregnant.
Fury shook me to the core. I could only imagine how our parents were going to react.
I hadn’t realized I was walking backward until I bumped into the corner of the end table. My anger had morphed into bewilderment.
“Why?” One word left my mouth while I continued to make sense of everything she’d said.
“Because I—”
“WHY?!” I shouted that time, never giving her time to finish her answer.
Emily cautiously drew closer and reached for my hand. I gave it to her, wanting to understand, and if she felt that touching me would help, then I let her.
“I was so worried about you. Every day that passed, you slipped further from me, and I feared that one day you wouldn’t be able to come back. That you’d eventually end up dead.”
Again, I heard her words, but I didn’t understand.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I sent Dad those notes because I knew he’d do something. Whether it was enforcing a curfew or insisting maybe we go stay in California at the house there, I’m not sure. But him hiring bodyguards to watch over us didn’t dawn on me.”
I jerked my hand from hers. “I still don’t understand why?”
“Because you were partying all the time, hanging out with people who were dragging you down. You drove drunk too many times to count, I’m surprised you didn’t kill yourself or anyone else. You slept with anyone, didn’t matter that you just met them, and you had no reservations when it came to drugs. You took them, from anyone.”
Every word out of Emily’s mouth was the truth, but that didn’t stop the anger inside me from bubbling over. My palm connected with her cheek before I realized I’d raised my hand.
Ford and Owen rushed toward us, separating us before the situation worsened.
“Okay, I think everyone needs to take a breath,” Owen said, trying to calm the both of us, although his comment was most likely directed more toward me.
“I can’t believe you did this,” I yelled at my sister. The only argument I had worth any salt, the one point that would dig at her the way her intrusion into my life dug at me, was to speak the truth. “I hope you’re up for raising a baby on your our own because Owen won’t be around anymore after Dad finds out.”
Of course, our parents would be upset, but in reality, neither of them could stop Owen and Emily from being together, if that’s what they chose to do. There would just be some tense family dinners for a while, I was sure.
Ford forced me out of the room before I could continue my tirade, but I heard Emily’s cries as he guided me into the kitchen and out onto the patio before entering the guesthouse.
“You need to calm down,” he instructed, leaning his hip against the doorway after I’d entered.
“Calm down? Were you not just in there when she told us that she was the one behind the threats? Then to give the absurd reason that she did it because I was out of control? She took it upon herself to turn my life upside down for nothing.” I barely had time to suck air into my lungs before I rambled on. “She was always jealous of me, and this was her way to get back at me. I know it.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic about this? Yes, what she did wasn’t right,” he agreed, “but it seems to me she did it out of love for you.”
“How can you justify what she did?”
“I’m not. What I’m saying is that from the time I came on this job, I witnessed some of the things Emily pointed out. Not the sex but—”
“Except for with you.”
He sighed. “Except for with me.”
The last thing I needed to do right then was reminisce about our time in bed. Therefore, I pushed all memory from my mind. Or at least, I gave it my best effort.
“It’s my life and she had no right to butt into it.”
Two long strides put Ford right next to me, placing his hands on my shoulders before tipping my head up. “No matter what I say, I’m going to be wrong, so I won’t butt in. However, your sister loves you. Even I know that. So, at some point, you’re going to have to forgive her. I truly believe what she did was with the best intentions even though sending fake threatening notes to her parents was a little unorthodox.” He smiled, but his lips flattened into a straight line when I tried to back away from him.
“So much for you not butting in,” I griped. “God! I need a fucking drink.”
“Probably not a good idea.”
“I need something to take the edge off.” I backed up a step and looked him over from head to toe, more than once.
Ford looked down at himself, then back to me, frowning. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” I smirked, then shrugged. “I’m the something that’ll take the edge off?”
“Sure. Why not?”
I couldn’t think of anything better than an orgasm to relax and numb me all at the same time.
* * *
Ford
The look in Cara’s eyes sparked my intrigue and I would love nothing more than to give her exactly what she wanted. But right then, I didn’t think sex was the best idea. Not only was Cara using me as a distraction, much like she’d used drugs, alcohol, and I hated to think it, sex with other men, but she refused to deal with the issue with her sister. Much like she refused to deal with what happened to her all those years back.
She snaked her arms around my neck and leaned up on her tiptoes, kissing me before I could back away. All I wanted to do was throw her on the couch, hike up her dress, and rip her panties off before driving my cock so deep inside her, every neighbor she had would hear her screams. And there wasn’t anyone around for miles.
“Cara,” I whispered against her mouth, “we can’t do this right now.” I unhooked her fingers and lowered her arms to her sides, regretting it immediately. My dick was painfully hard, and because of my hasty rejection of her advances, I’d be taking care of it myself.
“Why? You don’t want to fuck me?” she asked, raising the bottom of her dress so I could see the sheer lace panties underneath. She turned around before I could answer, and I saw she wore a thong, her round ass begging for either my hand or my mouth, or both.
“You know I do.” I stood stock still. “What if either of them comes in here? What, then? Besides, we don’t have a condom, and seeing as how Emily is pregnant, I doubt my brother has any in his room.”
Cara lowered her dress, and a mixture of disappointment and relief spiraled through me. Seconds later, though, she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the downstairs bathroom, shutting the door before I could react.
“Then we’ll do it in here and be quick and quiet.”
“What about the condom?”
“I’m on the pill, and before you say anything else, I’m clean. I may have done some stupid shit in my past, but I wasn’t that reckless.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t think—”
Cara unbuttoned the top button to my pants and yanked them down along with my boxer briefs before I finished speaking.
“Are you clean?” she asked, wrapping her fingers around my cock and squeezing.
With hitched breath, I replied, “Yes.” I’d never been that reckless before either. The last time I had sex with someone without a condom was with my high school girlfriend, Jessica. And she’d been a virgin.
“Then stop overthinking this and fuck me,” she demanded. She removed her hand and turned toward the mirror, leaning over and resting her forearms on the counter. With her heels still on, she was at the perfect height. “Any day now, Ford.” She pushed her ass against me. Enticing me. Driving me insane.
When I caught her gaze in the reflection, I faltered. Unshed tears pooled in her eyes, and although she tempted me, my God, how she tempted me, I realized having sex right then would be a mistake. A Band-Aid for the real issue.
Cara was furious and hurt, as was apparent when she struck Emily. A part of me understood her anger, but a p
art of me also understood why Emily felt she had to go to such lengths. She tried to protect her sister, and although she chose to go about it in one of the most extreme ways, I couldn’t fault her for her concern for Cara. Maybe if I’d gone to such lengths, Julia would be alive today.
After I pulled my pants back up, I turned Cara to face me. “I don’t want to have sex like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have a lot going on right now and you need to deal with it. In the right way. Not by sleeping with me just because you want to forget about what your sister told you, or about….” My words trailed off, hesitant to say the word even though she was smart enough to understand what I was leading up to.
“Or… what I told you last night? What you forced me to tell you?”
“I didn’t force you to tell me anything.”
“Yes, you did,” she shot back, reaching for the handle to pull the door open.
“I can’t do this anymore with you.” I followed her out of the bathroom, almost slamming into her when she whipped around to face me.
“Then, leave. No one is holding a gun to your head, Ford. You’re not here against your will. Besides, my dad is gonna fire you anyway, so you may as well beat him to it.” She rambled on and her sudden attitude confused me.
I reached for her, but she backed away. “I meant the back and forth we get ourselves caught up in. Tit for tat. It’s too much. It’s exhausting. Aren’t you tired?”
Cara didn’t answer; instead, she plopped down on the couch. After a tense filled moment, she blurted, “I feel like I’m stuck. I can’t go back over there because I don’t want to see Emily right now.”
“Then, just stay here,” I offered.
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?” I took the seat beside her, angling my body so we faced each other.
“You just told me I exhausted you. So why would you want me to stay with you?” This woman.
“What I said was that the constant back and forth between us is exhausting. You throw up this barrier whenever you feel like it and there’s no getting through. And before you say anything, I know I do the same thing. Although, I don’t think as bad as you,” I mumbled, half grinning when her eyes widened.
She crossed her arms and leaned back. “What am I gonna do?” Her question seemed more rhetorical than not, but I answered, nonetheless.
“You’ll hang out here until you decide.” She looked at me, a fresh batch of unshed tears waiting to be released, but she managed to keep them at bay for the time being.
There was something I wanted to talk to Cara about, and even though I knew the topic wasn’t going to be well received, I had to bring it up again. While I couldn’t imagine the horror she lived through and continued to deal with today, I truly believed that if she was able to lean on her family, their support could make all the difference.
“You look like you want to say something.” She bumped my leg with hers, having no idea that her somewhat relaxed expression would twist into something else in a few short seconds.
I debated on whether to move closer or move back to give her more space. In the end, I couldn’t decide so I stayed put. “I think that if you tell your family what happened to you, they’ll understand.”
In a flash, she shot off the sofa and was across the room before I could blink. “Understand what exactly?” Her tone was calm but her expression was pained. “Why I’m such a fuckup?”
I stood but never moved, hoping the space gave her some sort of solace. Or maybe delusion had become my friend. Either way, I stayed frozen in place.
“You’re not a fuckup, Cara. But if they knew, then they’d understand why you’ve acted out all these years.”
“Are you some sort of psychiatrist now? Because the last I knew, you were just my security detail.” Her words hit a mark I wasn’t sure she intended. Or maybe she did. I was man enough to admit that they stung a little, being reduced to nothing more than the hired help, which in essence was true. But I refused to snip back or get angry and say something just as callous because that wasn’t the point of our conversation.
“I’m the only person you’ve told, right?” I asked, choosing to ignore her harsh comment. I took a tentative step forward, against my better judgment. “Right?” I repeated when she refused to answer. If I wasn’t staring so intently at her, I would’ve missed the slight nod she gave me. “That’s an unbelievable burden. A weight no one should carry alone.”
If ever I witnessed another person’s anguish before, it was nothing compared to Cara’s. With slumped shoulders and the look of despair hiding behind her beautiful blue eyes, all I wanted to do was take back my words. Erase any trace of the past whatsoever.
Right in that moment, between the past and the future, the space where all decisions lay, I realized I needed to follow my own damn advice. I stood in front of Cara and dished out advice, telling her she needed to deal with what happened, lean on her family for support. But what had I done after Julia died? I blamed myself. I refused to lean on my family, the same people who were hurting just as much as me. I should’ve been there for my mother, who’d lost her daughter, and for Owen, but I’d been selfish, wallowing so deeply in my own grief I couldn’t see past the tragedy.
A lonely sob sliced through the air and tore me away from my revelation.
“I can’t,” she whispered, the tears she’d managed to keep contained slipping down her cheeks. There was no hesitancy on my part as I rushed forward and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head right before she wrapped her arms around me.
I couldn’t take away her pain.
I couldn’t erase the memory of what happened.
I couldn’t force her to move past the rape, if that was even at all possible.
All I could do was gift her my strength and comfort.
We stood in the middle of the living room for the next several minutes. Quiet except for the sounds of Cara’s gripping sadness.
Her uncertainty.
My support.
As we pulled apart, and my mouth opened to dive back into trying to convince her to talk to her family, Owen pushed open the door and walked in. His eyes bounced from me to Cara, coming to rest back on me with a question laced in his stare.
Cara stood close enough that my fingers brushed hers right before she walked past my brother to leave.
“I’m going to shower and get ready,” she said, leaving before I could ask where we were going.
Once she left, I glared at my brother, although the only difference between what he and I did was that he somehow managed to get Emily pregnant. Not only would there be no denying their relationship, but once Walter found out they’d been sleeping together, almost the entire time, he’d be furious, and rightly so. Never mind the kind of shit he could rain down on our business.
“Where are you two going?” he asked, attempting to be casual when I knew damn well he wanted to either talk about what was going on with Emily or yell at me again for punching him.
“Do I ever know?” I snarked, heading into the kitchen for something to drink. A nice shot of whiskey would’ve been a blessing right then, but I needed a clear head. Besides, I was working, although I wasn’t sure for how much longer.
* * *
Cara
“I know. I’m still kind of freaking out over the whole thing.” Lying on my stomach, I positioned my cell phone close to me, the device on speaker so I didn’t have to hold it. “Thank you again for telling him about me.”
“You can stop thanking me, woman.” Steph laughed. “I’d be doing the world a disservice if I didn’t tell James about you. Besides, you’re the one who impressed him enough for him to want to see more.”
“I suppose.” I repositioned myself so I laid on my back, placing my cell on my chest. “I’m just nervous he’ll second-guess himself and just forget he even met me.”
“He’s not like that. If he told you he likes your stuff, then believe him.” I heard someone in the ba
ckground, but the voice was muffled, almost as if she had put her hand over the phone.
“You know a lot about him, don’t you?” I sat upright, as if being in that position would make my friend spill all the dirty details. Silence was her only response, and when she remained closemouthed, I suspected she wasn’t telling me the whole story. Or even a fraction of it. “Are you two together?”
“No,” she blurted. “Well, not really.” An exaggerated sigh from her, and she then said, “I don’t know.”
“I’m glad you could clear that up.” I laughed, feeling good I was able to take my mind off everything that happened earlier. My friendship with Steph had always come easy, and even though we’d lost touch for a while, it was like no time had passed. I would’ve thought that her being the daughter of my rapist would make me cringe every time I heard her voice, or read her texts, or even saw her in person, but somehow, I was able to separate the two. I didn’t dive into the reasons why, but I refused to allow that bastard to steal one more thing away from me.
“We enjoy each other’s company.”
“I’m sure you do. He’s a hottie.”
“Yes, he’s attractive,” she agreed. “But he’s so much more. I’ve never met anyone like him before.” Her voice trailed off, and again I heard someone speaking in the background. Then it dawned on me that James might be the someone who was there with her.
“Are you with him right now?” I asked, lowering my voice as if he could possibly hear me.
“Yes. He’s in the other room so I’m gonna get off the phone. But we’ll catch up when I’m back in town, okay? Maybe grab something to eat? I want to hear everything.”
“I’m sure your boyfriend can fill you in,” I teased.
“Oh Lord.” She chuckled before telling me she’d call me soon. The moment our call ended, Naomi’s name popped up on my screen. I answered on the second ring.
“I was just going to call you,” I said, needing to talk to her. “Can you grab a drink tonight?”
“That’s why I called. Well, one of the reasons.”
