by OMNICAdmin
Adventure, 1st March, 1919
Dirty Jim by S. B. H. Hurst
HE lawlessness north of certain faint tales have come to the world and a latitudes is a favorite theme for song
few faces stare grotesquely through the fog
T and story and men talk of the “good of the years as if seeking recognition, hurt old days” when vice ruled and decency was
at being forgotten. Men like Tom Spritz
weakness; but the wildest bad man whose
and “Bully” Haynes, with their satellites
voice ever woke unpleasant echoes among
“Sydney Dick” and George Mullens—
the frozen solitudes would have seemed a
these, smothered among the dead bones of
mere student in villainy among the more
their many atrocities, sometimes manage,
intelligent blackguards of the South Seas.
as it were, to push forth a wilted hand,
Even today there are things done on
which is feebly waved.
the islands that would make many Alaskan
toughs shudder; and back in the early ‘80’s,
NATURE had been more than usually
when the strong captains of the swift lavish with the island. Even the coral trading schooners were monarchs, when animals who labored through the centuries blackbirding was considered a legitimate
to build its foundation saw to it that their
speculation, and there were places not on
efforts should result in a perfect mirror of a
the charts—long ago, it seems, when harbor with a sufficient opening in the most Polynesia was a paradise bossed by useful place for sailing vessels. After that excellent imitations of the devil—such they gave the word to their descendants incidents as have made mining-camps that they should surround Talee with famous for their wickedness would have
numerous other islands, which should be
been passed by as unworthy of record.
perfect nests for shell and other things
Out of this flood of iniquity some
valuable to the pirates who would go there
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2
to trade. And the entire beauty of it all was
Crusoe, useless piece of human flotsam,
beyond any painting.
and anything else sufficiently unpleasant.
But Tom Spritz was not interested
Add all these together, multiply the result
in beauty unless it was kissable. The son of
by ten, and you will faintly approximate
a Sydney convict, all the worst of his father
the appearance of the individual with the
was accentuated in him with an added unpleasant sobriquet.
cunning that made him doubly dangerous.
But one positive virtue he had—he
He sat aft under the awning of his never bothered with the native women.
schooner, smiling slightly as he went over
Otherwise, he never worked, food being
the details of a plan which had resulted
obtainable for the mere trouble of getting
from a most unusual situation.
it; and he was always drunk on cheap trade
Nearby two more schooners lay at
gin which the few white men gave him in
their anchors, the Mary, Captain Bill unlimited quantities so as to be rid of him.
Nugent, and the Full Hand, Captain Ezra
But Captain Spritz had seen him talking to
Miller; the former an Englishman and the
a woman, and the sight had given the
latter claiming American citizenship—a captain pleasure. For the woman was the claim Washington would have probably cause of the captain’s planning, and her disallowed. These, with Spritz’s Lady
presence on Talee was, to say the least,
Ellen, divided all the trade of the locality, remarkable.
the three men having made a defensive and
Young, about twenty-four, she had
offensive alliance which did not hesitate to
money enough of her own to live
make war upon any other vessel that comfortably in England. But being an ventured to enter the harbor.
orphan without a living relative, she lacked
And such was the terror of these
an outlet for her affections—the right man
men’s names that not a man among all the
not having put in an appearance—and
ruffians of the islands cared to risk the
consequently she became possessed of the
chance of trading at Talee—most of, them,
notion that she had a mission in life. For a
however, having their own particular places
time the mission hovered in her mind in a
similarly protected by similar alliances.
nebulous state, with a strong religious
Suddenly Spritz lifted a pair of coloring. And then she joined the Salvation binoculars and trained them upon the Army, which at that time was a new beach. Outside the shack of “Dirty Jim” a
organization and subject to unpleasant
man and woman were apparently talking.
persecution.
With a satisfied grunt Spritz laid aside the
Looking back it seems strange that
glasses and lit his pipe. Then he went back
in well-policed England no or very little
to his planning, trying by bringing in Dirty
protection was afforded this religious body
Jim as an added factor to make his scheme
from the bricks and dead cats of the toughs
the more workable.
of the towns where it held its meetings.
This Dirty Jim was a nobody from
Perhaps it was this element of martyrdom
nowhere who spoke with the cultured that attracted the girl, Katie Wood. And drawl of Oxford but whose appearance—
then, as if the roughs of England were too
take your most extreme conception of a
peaceful for her, she determined to spread
degenerate beach-comber, incurable the Army’s teachings overseas. So she got drunkard, poverty-stricken sufferer from out her atlas and happened upon that speck hook-worm, down-at-the-heel Robinson on the map marked Talee—reaching there
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3
by hazardous journeyings via Australia.
“Bet on what?” Spritz leaned over
But Talee, ruled by Spritz, Nugent
the rail with interest.
and Miller, had long before warned off the
“Well, not exactly bet—because we
missionaries—who with incomprehensible
both want to bet the same way. Wait till we
cowardice and thoughtlessness had given
get aboard—tell you then, you old pirate!”
the girl a passage to the island in their
Nugent heaved himself over the low
schooner with only text-bordered warnings
rail, chuckling violently.
concerning what she could expect. And
The captain’s servant brought
once there she found no one to listen to her
drinks and set chairs around the table under
kindly teachings but Dirty Jim, who was
the after awning. While he was doing this
usually too drunk to understand wh
at she
the two visitors talked generalities only.
said.
Not that there was any danger of the boy’s
Then came Tom Spritz, six-feet-two
repeating what they said, even if he had
and weighing two hundred and fifty pounds
understood, but the same feeling that had
in hard condition. He saw the girl and she
caused Captain Spritz to plan a certain
looked good to him. But even Spritz, in the
enterprise for the night-time demanded an
year 1885, did not care to steal the girl in
unnecessary secrecy of the visitors—they
broad daylight. Not that it was likely that
were living their lives outside the grip of
any one would attempt to stop him, but
civilization, but the shadow of its customs
there was a vague, indefinable something,
and laws lay unpleasantly upon their souls.
inspired by neither fear nor caution, which
“Now—” Nugent’s face rippled
made it appear advisable to kidnap her with smiles—“bet you ’most anything, during the night. Wherefore he smiled and
Tom, that you’re scheming to get that
found his plan was good.
missionary girl away from here—before
But he had neglected to remember
me and this other rascal Miller can lay our
that to his allies also morality was a myth
hands on her. How about it?”
and decency a legend and that their eyes
Tom Spritz could have cheerfully
must have fallen upon the girl with intent
shot his engaging friend, but his face
far from religious. One can not expect showed nothing but surprise. He proper restraint from his chosen associates
dissembled ingeniously. Why should he
if one is so tough as to boast habitually of
bother about the girl? Better to let her
using broken bottles for face powder; and
alone, he thought. One could always do
consequently Tom Spritz, when his two
what one wanted to with missionaries, but
friends rowed over to pay him a visit, they had a beastly habit of squealing. Then found himself doubting if after all an the people back in England started to raise alliance were as profitable as a lone hand.
—— and first thing you knew a man-of-
war fired a shot across your bows and then
IT WAS Nugent who genially brought up
there was the devil to pay. He was not sure,
the subject—and it was said of him that he
of course, but he believed it meant
could laugh pleasantly while throwing his
imprisonment for life.
best friend to the sharks—wagging his
“What does?” the lank-haired
great, blond head with the zest of it.
Miller leered.
“We’ve bet on it,” he bellowed as
“Why—” Spritz tried to appear
the boat came alongside. “If you haven’t, I
unconcerned—“why—kidnaping a girl. A
lose—but you won’t say you haven’t.”
white girl, anyway.”
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4
“Well,” Miller laughed, “nobody off and their heads shut, eh?”
said anything about doing that. All Bill said
“Certainly,” chorused the other two
was about taking her away from here—like
in unison.
as if the island wasn’t healthy.”
“Well, then—” there was a dubious
Nugent
roared.
note to Nugent’s voice—“how will we
“You showed your hand, Tom. settle it—cards or dice?”
Come on, now, own up. You was figuring
“‘Once aboard the lugger, the girl is
all the time, just as we were, to grab that
mine.’”
girl for yourself. Of course we know it’s
The sarcastic manner in which
against the law. Only—” he lowered his
Spritz made the ancient quotation was like
voice—“it’s a hanging offense under the
a searchlight thrown on his mind. His
British law.”
companions laughed as a matter of course
“But who’s to know about it?” but a moment later their eyes met Spritz admitted his interest without further
significantly. Tom Spritz was furious. He
quibble.
had been planning to get the girl when they
“That’s it,” Miller leaned forward
came on board. And when Tom was mad
and spoke with confidence. “We can say
he didn’t let a little thing like an agreement
she came aboard of her own free will if she
stand in his way. He would bear watching.
makes a fuss. But it ain’t likely she’ll make
But the thing to do was to act as if they
a fuss after she’s put in a week or so
trusted him.
aboard. The point is, who’s to have her?
“Cards—stud-poker.” Miller played
We all can’t.”
the game well.
“That’s what we came over to talk
“How do you mean?” Nugent, who
about,” amended Nugent.
really meant to act fairly once the infamous
The three men stared at one pact was made, was interested.
another. Clean-shaven and nattily dressed
“I’ll tell you,” went on Miller. “We
as they were, they were nevertheless lineal
each take ten chips. Each chip has the same
descendants of the sea-robbers of past value. We play stud—freeze-out. The man times, and some of the things they did
sticking longest wins the right to swipe the
would have turned their ancestors green
girl. If he doesn’t manage to get her in
with envy.
twenty-four hours he loses his chance and
They couldn’t all have the girl, that
anybody can get her who wants to.”
was obvious. So who was to be the lucky
“Freeze-out seems a —— of a long
man? And even if some decision were game.” Nugent spoke as if the stake was arrived at if it were decided which of them
the next drink.
should sail with the girl in his cabin, could
“Oh, it’s fast enough playing stud.
that one trust the other two to keep their
Everybody has to ante each deal—if a man
words and keep their hands off? Fighting
don’t win a pot in ten deals, even if he
would be foolish. The winner would be too
don’t make a bet, he’s broke.”
badly hurt to enjoy his honeymoon. How
“You’re quite a mathematician,”
were they to decide?
snarled Spritz, who appeared to be on the
“There are the three of us,” Bill
verge of refusing to play.
Nugent spoke slowly. “One of us sails
“I’m quite a poker-player,” retorted
tonight with that girl aboard his schooner.
Miller, stroking his long black mustache
The other two agrees to keep their hands
complacently.
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5
“Oh, all right. Boy!” Spritz called,
the first jack falling to Spritz.
and his servant came running. “Bring cards
“Your deal, Tom.”
He pushed the
and chips. I can play a bit myself.”
scattered cards across the table. “Got a
“And I don’t call myself exactly a
hunch you’re going to have bad luck.”
fool,” Nugent smiled as usual.
Spritz raised his head—it looked as
If it is possible to imagine a satyr
if it had been carved out of a block of teak-
being fat, Nugent was a fat satyr.
wood by a patient but inartistic savage—
There was a touch of the unreal
and the peculiar smolder in his eyes
about everything. The harbor was so calm
seemed to increase like a fire blown into
that the shadows of late afternoon lay flame by the wind.
unrippled upon it, and the fact that the three
“Do you? Well, I know you feel
schooners were as devoid of movement as
quite upset about it, don’t you?”
the island itself gave the scene the
Miller could meet those eyes only
appearance of a picture. One could easily
with an effort; the brutish force of them
have looked at it and believed that there
cowed his fox-like nature. He laughed
would never be any change, never any queerly.
movement—that it would look as it did for
“Well,
deal
‘em.”
years, until the picture wore off the canvas.
“When I’m —— good and ready,”
And the actions of the three men
Spritz snarled.
under the awning of the Lady Ellen were
“Now, now, boys.” The laughing
stagy. The stake was so unusual that the
Nugent, who would have been delighted if
game might have been arranged by the
