by Lexi Blake
Ian’s eyes rolled. “You’re going to put the worst spin on this you possibly can. You and your brother had IRA ties.”
“I never hid them.” He couldn’t have hidden them. When he’d gone into the Army, he’d been a dumb kid barely able to wipe his ass much less hide the fact that his mother had seen the IRA as a religion. He hadn’t. He never had. It had almost been his way of rebelling.
“I know, and you were so damn good at your job that the SAS took you in anyway. Your commanding officers didn’t believe you had a hand in the IRA, but there are always rumors and those rumors can be used for good or bad.”
He’d never had a second’s misconception why he’d been chosen, and he’d known bloody well there could be a cost. His idiot younger self had practically wanted to sacrifice for the cause. That dumber Liam had believed he’d be a hero. “I knew that going into the mission. I knew there would be fall out. I knew intelligence would put it out that Rory and I were still meeting with Ma’s old cohorts.”
“Rory did meet with them, Li.” Ian’s words dropped between them.
Liam couldn’t help but reject it. “No. If he did, it was only for the mission.” But why hadn’t Rory told him? Ian had to be mistaken. Except he was always so cautious.
Ian seemed to choose his words carefully. “He did it before the mission. He was under investigation, but he convinced your higher-ups that he was just checking in on family. His ties were why I picked you both for the op.”
Liam felt the ground shifting beneath him. Rory had gotten in touch with their uncles? Their crown hating, kill ‘em all uncles? They’d grown up surrounded with bitterness and bile, and they’d promised to never go back after their mother drank herself to death. “He would have told me.”
“We all have secrets, Liam. Even from our brothers.” Ian’s eyes found the floor.
Liam’s head was spinning a little, but it had to be that Rory felt a connection to their family that he didn’t. Why the hell hadn’t his brother told him? Had Rory thought he would try to talk him out of it? He was right. He would have, but if he couldn’t then Liam would have stood by his brother. He would have gone into the belly of the beast with him. Hadn’t he always tried to protect Rory? Liam had always been the one to clean up the messes Rory made.
Had Rory died thinking he had to hide from his brother?
“I was coordinating with MI6 and G2,” Ian continued. “It was right about that time that I met Charlie, and I lost my fucking head. I was so in lust with that woman. She was gorgeous and sexy and submissive. It was like someone had reached into my libido and pulled out my ideal woman. She was fucking perfect on the outside. She wasn’t the type who didn’t make you work for her submission. No, not my Charlie. She was a righteous bitch half the time, and that got me panting after her. I let everything slide. My work, my other relationships, everything. I married her ten days after I met her. We were married for exactly 32 days.”
Ian went silent again.
“What went wrong?” Liam asked.
Ian chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. “Everything. I got a call from Langley. The op was ready to go despite my half-assed work. The day you managed to get the bonds, I was supposed to head to Dublin to meet with you and prep you for your final mission. I should have been there the night you went into that pub. I would never have allowed that to happen, by the way. I had a room next to yours, and we were going to spend the evening in a debrief. I was walking in to grab my passport, and that’s when I found her.”
The idea of walking into a perfectly normal situation and finding Avery’s body on the ground sent a chill through him. “You didn’t kill her?”
“She was a message to me.”
Liam could remember how she looked in those photos. Beautiful. Cold. Soulless. If it was a message, someone had been serious about it. Shit. “From who?”
“From whoever hired her to seduce me, I suppose. She had some very nasty ties to the Russian mafia. I didn’t bother to look into her past. I was too in lust.” Ian ground the words out like every one cost him.
“Call it what it was, Ian,” Alex said from the corner. “You were in love with the woman.”
Ian’s mouth took on a cruel line. “It was lust. I didn’t know who the fuck she was. She lied about everything.”
Alex sighed as though they had been through this a thousand times. “No, she didn’t. She told you her real name. She gave you every opportunity to check her out. You chose not to. I think she was in love with you, too, Ian.”
Ian waved him off. “It doesn’t matter now, Alex. She’s dead and I fucked up Liam’s life, and I’ve been trying to make up for it ever since.”
“Did you plant the bomb?” He asked it with a little hesitance. What the hell was going on? Had Ian been the one to eradicate all the evidence? Had he been the one on watch when his brother had been murdered?
“Of course not.” Ian sank onto the wooden bench. “I wouldn’t blow up my own goddamn assets. I know you don’t think a lot of me, but I’ve never hurt my own men. It’s why I didn’t sign on as a full-time operative. The Agency uses me on certain ops, but I never fit the profile for a pure agent. I can’t sell out my friends. I was talking about the fact that I was too involved in Charlie’s death to handle my own op. They brought someone in to handle the operation, and he fucked everything up.”
“Who?” Liam asked.
Ian’s face hardened stubbornly. A nasty silence filled the air.
“You have to understand he didn’t find out until very recently,” Alex started.
“Fucking Nelson!” Liam got into Ian’s space. Eli Nelson seemed to be everywhere.
“I didn’t know who he was when he came to Dallas a while back. He wasn’t using his real name, and I didn’t know him by sight. It’s not like we have an annual Christmas party, but I started to research him after he nearly killed my brother.” Ian stood, not giving an inch.
“You know you’re both letting Nelson win if you beat each other up over this,” Alex pointed out.
“I want to know what happened.” Liam didn’t back down. “Did you know I was being set up?”
“Fuck, no. I didn’t know anything until you called me after the building had blown up,” Ian replied. “I was…I was trying to deal with Charlie’s death. I was useless.”
“We call it grieving in the real world,” Alex said, not moving.
“Shut up, Alex,” Ian rounded on his best friend.
“I can’t. Adam isn’t here to lend much needed sarcasm, so I have to. Really, you two are setting a new world record for testosterone levels in a locker room.” He got serious for a moment. “I hate watching you two tear each other up when there’s no reason for it. Ian was hurting because he loved his wife.”
“I didn’t love her,” Ian ground out.
“Tomato, tomahto,” Alex shot back. “Ian’s made one mistake in his very long career, and he’s felt guilty ever since. It’s been worse since he came to give a real goddamn about you. Give him a break, man. He lost his head over a girl. Can you say you’re not doing the same right now? I’m not blind. I’ve followed you for days. You’re crazy about Avery.”
“She’s a pretty girl.” He wasn’t going to admit it. The last thing he needed was to get pulled off the op because he’d fallen for someone who didn’t really want him. A girl who saw him as nothing but an orgasm on two legs.
“Don’t be an idiot, Li.” Alex shook his head. “You don’t want to end up like him.”
Ian turned to Alex. “You’re supposed to be my best friend.”
“I am,” Alex replied. “I’ve also been married to a psychologist for long enough to know that you’re in denial about Charlotte, and you can’t move on until you at least accept the fact that you loved the woman.”
Ian shot Alex the finger as he moved around Liam. “Says the man who still calls himself married years after his wife divorced him. Fuck you, Alex. And Liam, that’s the truth. I’ve told you everything I know. If you don’t
Ian stalked out, his boots thudding an angry rhythm over the hardwoods.
And Liam still had questions. He started to walk out after Ian. They weren’t done.
Alex got in his way. “Don’t. He wasn’t ready for this. Please give him a little time.”
“He’s had years, Alex.” Years where he hadn’t bothered to give Liam the truth.
“I know. And I know just about everything. Ian didn’t know the op had gone south until you called him. He did everything he could to get you out while he sorted through all the shit that was left behind. And as far as we can tell, Nelson claimed to have no idea what happened.”
“Did Nelson kill my brother?” Liam felt his fists clench.
Alex frowned. “Possibly, though it’s hard to tell. The question would be why. Why bother when it seems like he didn’t get any money out of it? The bonds were worth millions. Why wouldn’t he spend them?”
“You’re right. If he had the bonds, why would he sit on them?” It didn’t make sense. Nelson had been in Dallas to steal secrets to sell to the Chinese. Why would he need that money if he had the bonds?
“Nelson’s a patient guy,” Alex said. “He might have had plans for the bonds. And he was still CIA until a few months back. This seems to be a very long game he’s been playing, and I don’t like how many of us he’s using as chess pieces.”
Liam didn’t either. So many things didn’t make sense. “Did Ian consider that Leonov made me and Rory and this was his version of revenge?”
“Leonov was found dead shortly after. If he found another broker for the deal, the Agency couldn’t prove it. No one found any nuclear materials or could even tie him to them in a tangible way. If he had them, he got rid of them and there was no hint of the arms dealer who was selling the uranium again. Ian was left with no weapons, no assets, and no bonds.”
And no wife. “Why hasn’t he told me?”
“Because he didn’t know enough until very recently. After that op he stopped working for the Agency for a very long time. He concentrated on building this business for us. Think about it, man. Eve and I had just gotten divorced. Sean had left the Army. Jake and Adam had been kicked to the curb. I never actually met Charlotte, but I’ve known Ian for a long time. I’ve never seen him as dark as he was after she died. We were all lost, and Ian and I decided to try to build a life raft.”
“McKay-Taggart.” The company had been all that kept him sane for several years. Now he could see they had all really thrown themselves into building the company. It had been what they all had needed. “What the hell is going on, Alex?”
Alex sat back down, his big body slumping as though he couldn’t handle just how tired he was a second more. “I don’t know, but hopefully it’s over tomorrow. If we can’t catch him, we’ll kill him. We’re going to follow him so we don’t disrupt the MI6 op by capturing or killing him in front of Molina. They still need to figure out what’s happening at United One Fund. It’s the deal we worked out with them.”
“Where did Weston get that file if not from the CIA?” If Ian was right, then that file really bugged him.
“MI6 kept files. They were classified, but Weston turned out to be quite the pro with a computer. He’s not being fired just yet, but I suspect that’s because he’s too valuable to the op.”
He wished he could be there when the bastard got cut loose. “All right. Look, this isn’t over. I still have a ton of questions, and you know as well as I do that Adam and Jake should be brought into this.”
“I know and they will. Just give him a day. He processes the emotional shit more slowly than the rest of us.”
“Do you still consider yourself married to Eve?” It seemed like Ian wasn’t the only one who processed slowly.
Alex’s face flushed, but he seemed steady. “No. I know that’s over. I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I was sort of relieved when I thought you were sleeping with her. Oh, I hated your guts, but at least it would have been over.”
Liam didn’t believe that for a second. “I thought you still loved her.”
“I’ll die loving her, but she’s had me in purgatory for so long, I just want out and I can’t until she lets me.”
“Six years is a long time without sex.”
Alex frowned. “We have sex, Li. We have a lot of sex.”
That was news. “Are you kidding me? Then what’s your problem, man?” It struck him rather forcefully what the problem was. He’d watched them scene together, a delicate dance of pain and pleasure. It always seemed emotional until the moment Eve got up and refused all aftercare. She used Alex and then walked away, never allowing the Dom the second part of the exchange—the tender part. “She uses you for sex the same way she scenes with you.”
Alex looked away. “She hasn’t kissed me in six years. What we have is a disgusting imitation of love.”
“Break it off.” That must be killing Alex.
Alex laughed, a hollow sound. “I can’t. I’m the reason she is the way she is. I thought at first that I could get her back, but now I know she’s just punishing me. She isn’t looking to heal. She isn’t looking to move on. She’s got me locked in a never-ending cycle, and I don’t think she’ll ever let go.”
“Walk away.” As much as he loved Eve, Liam felt for Alex in that moment.
Alex shook his head. “Can’t.”
“What happened between the two of you?” He’d never had the full story. As far as he could tell, Adam and Jake didn’t know either.
“I chose an op over her. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but the consequences…god. I’ll never forgive myself, Li. And she can’t forgive me, either. If you give a damn about this girl Avery, tell her who you are. If you think for one second that you have a shot at a life with her, that you could love her, tell her before the betrayal is too much for her to take.”
“I can’t. The mission,” Liam started. He’d thought about it a hundred times.
“Will go on without her. She doesn’t have ties to Nelson. The most she can do is help out MI6 a little. We’ve already gotten everything from her we can. She doesn’t know anything else. She can very quietly disappear, and she’ll be out of it.” Alex sounded so reasonable.
“Ian would fire me.” That argument was having less and less weight in Liam’s mind.
Alex waved that thought off. “Ian’s bark is worse than his bite. If he didn’t fire Adam and Jake, he won’t fire you. Look, I can’t tell you how to live your life. I just know how you look at her.”
“She doesn’t know who I am.” Liam finally admitted the real problem. “When she finds out, she won’t want me. I’m a bastard.”
“Yeah, you were. And then you met her. We don’t know who we really are until we meet the people we’re supposed to be with. They can drag us down or they can lift us up. Maybe you don’t know who you are anymore because you’re changing. If you let yourself love this woman, you’ll be a different person. You’ll be the person Avery made you, and you might find you like that man quite a bit. You’ve already opened up in ways I wouldn’t have imagined. Just think about it, okay?” Alex stood up and opened his locker. “I have to get ready. I think Eve and I are going to scene for your girl tonight.”
Now that he knew a little about what was going on between them, it seemed like a terrible thing to do. “You don’t have to. I’m just going to walk her around for a while and then take her to a privacy room and introduce her to some bondage. Alex, you don’t have to do this.”
But Alex turned, pulling his leathers out. “It’s all right, man. It’s only what I deserve.”
Liam reached into his own locker, his anger from before easing to low ache. What did he deserve? Certainly not Avery. But he’d never been a man to settle for what he deserved. He was a man who took what he wanted.
Chapter Thirteen
Avery blinked in the low light of the club. The Garden itself was completely different from the posh, traditional lobby. The outer rooms of The Garden looked like any number of hotel lobbies, but the inner room was unlike anything Avery had ever seen. It was a massive greenroom whose plants were all night bloomers. Stone floors were beneath her feet, but the smell of jasmine filled the air. Moonlight streamed into the room from an enormous skylight that seemed to go through the center of the whole building.
It was like she’d stepped into an alien world.
She watched with wide eyes as a diminutive woman in thigh-high boots walked past tugging on the leash of a massive man in leather undies.
Eve moved over, leaning her head close to be heard over the thumping music. “You should really prepare yourself for just about anything in this place.”
She was starting to see that. Whatever she’d imagined The Garden would be, it wasn’t this lush temple to sensory decadence. She looked around hoping to find Lee. Two steps out of the locker room and she already wanted his hand in hers. She felt weird and exposed without him. Like she didn’t belong.
Avery wished she’d taken Eve’s advice seriously. She really couldn’t breathe. The black and scarlet corset she found herself in was its own form of torture device. And the thong thingee kind of sucked, too. She had no idea why any woman would want to wear undies designed to be shoved between her butt cheeks.
“Are you all right?” Eve asked, her dark eyes lit with mirth.
Avery smiled back. Eve didn’t seem like a woman who smiled much. If her discomfort brought Eve a little amusement, then maybe it was a good thing. “I think my boobs are going to come out. Are they really supposed to be around my neck?”
Her boobs were big enough, but the corset took her to epic levels. She didn’t look pretty like Eve did. She looked overblown. Eve looked sleek and neat in her corset. Avery felt like she was going to pop out. And Liam hadn’t left her any shoes. Eve was taller in the first place, but after she put on her stilettos, Eve’s legs looked like they were a mile long. Avery felt like a hobbit someone had stuffed into lingerie.
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