by Debra Doxer
Ethan cheered and pointed to Malcolm, who then tipped his head back and finished off whatever was in his plastic cup.
“Lea, Candy! You made it,” Ethan called, spotting us from across the room. The tall, pretty girl at his side clung a little tighter to his arm.
I glanced at Lea, but she had no reaction, although she had been right about everyone coming to the party despite what happened at lunch. I assumed if Ethan and Malcolm were here, so was Jonah.
Just as I was about to follow Lea into the kitchen, a familiar face appeared in front of me. Reaching up, he scratched his stubbled cheek as a smile lit his face. “Hi, Candy. I heard you were here.”
“Drew?”
I had a raging crush on Drew Hoyt when we were kids. Our moms were friends, and I’d always ask to tag along to his house whenever my mother went over there. Drew gave me my first kiss in the middle of an overgrown field behind the junior high school. His coloring was much like Ethan’s, dark blond and blue-eyed, but he wasn’t nearly as tall.
“You heard right,” I replied.
His blue eyes gleamed as if he was genuinely pleased to see me again, and the truth was, I felt the same way. Drew reminded me of a happier time before everything changed.
He was still nice to look at, with high cheekbones and an angular face. He wasn’t broad or overly muscular, but he was good-looking in a neat, prep school kind of way. I couldn’t help thinking that his presence didn’t take over a room the way Jonah’s did, and then I was annoyed at myself for even making the comparison. Jonah was not going to become the standard by which all other guys were judged.
“Hey, Candy, can I get you something to drink?” This was spoken by Malcolm, who was suddenly beside me.
I tried not to sigh. I was hoping Lea had relayed my message, but she probably hadn’t gotten around to it or thought I was serious.
“Sure, a beer would be great,” I said to get rid of him.
With a nod, he headed toward the stack of coolers in the other room.
Drew waited until Malcolm was gone to continue. “It’s been a long time.”
“I know. Six years.”
“Six years,” he repeated as he gazed at me, and when he said nothing more, awkwardness descended.
“So, um . . .”
“You look . . .”
We both spoke at the same time, paused, and then laughed, ratcheting up the stilted vibe between us. “You go first,” I said.
When he opened his mouth to speak, the music got louder, and we both looked toward the living room. “You look great,” he said loudly with a bashful grin. “That’s what I was trying to say. Want to check out the deck? It’s quieter out there. We can catch up.”
“But then I won’t be here when Malcolm gets back.”
He smiled. “No, you won’t.”
Laughing, I forgave his awkwardness and let him lead me through a set of French doors that opened onto a deck.
It was quieter outside because you couldn’t hear the music, but it was packed with bodies, and one thing was clear. Parker knew a lot of people.
The deck was decorated with white lights strung along the railing, and the night sky was a canopy of stars. It was a beautiful setting, but the cold was already giving me goose bumps.
“So, how have you been?” Drew asked, leading me to a free spot along the railing.
“Good. You?”
“I can’t complain.” He looked out over the trees behind the house and seemed to be searching for something to say. “Um, Candy, I was really sorry about your mom. I never got to tell you that. After you left, I wanted to get in touch, but I didn’t know if you wanted me to. I didn’t even know you were leaving.”
I tensed, running my hand over the railing, wishing he’d chosen any other subject. “It was kind of unexpected.”
Drew watched me, waiting for more of an explanation. When he realized I wasn’t going to give one, he cleared his throat, looking unsure again. “Well, I’m glad you’re back.”
This wasn’t how I expected things to go when I first saw Drew inside. I thought it would be easier. I guess I thought we’d pick up where we left off.
Hugging my arms around myself, trying to keep warm, I let my gaze wander over his face, trying to remember what I saw in him back then. He was my first kiss, and he probably would have been my first boyfriend if I’d stuck around. In the field that day behind the school, I remembered being curious about kissing, figuring out the mechanics of it, but I didn’t recall any fireworks when his lips touched mine. At the time, I didn’t know there were supposed to be fireworks, or at least a little fluttering in my belly.
Drew was searching for something else to say again when his gaze focused past me just as a coat was placed around my shoulders. When I turned, I saw Jonah standing behind me.
“When the girl you’re talking to is obviously cold, you offer her your coat,” Jonah said flatly. Then he moved toward the doors and walked inside the house.
Shocked, I automatically pulled the coat tighter around me. Still warm from his body, it smelled of leather and cologne. I nearly laughed at Jonah’s abrupt gesture. Somehow he’d managed to be rude and considerate at the same time. The chill I felt disappeared rapidly, but the coat wasn’t solely responsible for that.
Drew frowned. “Sorry, Candy. If you were cold, you should have said something. Do you want to go inside?”
I nodded, mainly because the person I’d rather be talking to was in there. Besides, I had his coat to return as a conversation starter. When we entered the kitchen again, I spotted Jonah right off. He was standing with Ethan, and they both towered over everyone else in the room.
I removed the coat from my shoulders. “I’m just going to return this,” I told Drew, then I weaved my way through the crowd, walking over to where Jonah was standing.
When he spotted me, I held his jacket out to him and said, “Thank you.”
He looked behind me, wondering if Drew was there, I assumed, and then his gaze flicked to me again. “Maybe you should hold on to it, you know, in case you plan on going outside to talk to more jerk-offs.”
Huh? My smile died on my lips as my fingers dug into the leather. “No need. You’re the last jerk-off I plan on speaking to tonight.” Then I shoved his coat at him and walked away, threading a path back in the direction I’d come from.
Drew was right where I’d left him, leaning against the doorway as he waited for me. “What did he say to you? You look pissed.”
“Nothing. I’m great.” I grabbed the beer he was holding and sipped from it before handing it back to him.
“Keep it,” he said, his expression amused. Then he led me into the living room where the music was louder and a makeshift dance floor had formed.
Taking in the spacious living room, I decided not to let Jonah get to me. But why did he have to act like such a jackass? And what had he been implying . . . that I planned to flirt with every guy here tonight? Was that what he’d meant?
“Nice portrait,” Drew commented, chuckling as he pointed to the family portrait hanging over the fireplace.
I could see why he was laughing. I’d never seen anything like it, except on television. It was a huge picture in an ornate gold frame of Parker’s family all posing together. Her father looked like the typical middle-aged dad, balding with a pale complexion, thick black-rimmed eyeglasses, and soft-looking doughy skin. Her mother was an older version of Parker with the same ample curves and dark blond hair. Parker’s younger brother was skinny with glasses and freckles. They all smiled, looking like a perfect and very stiffly posed family.
After a while, Parker appeared, coaxing me onto the dance floor as she towed Ethan behind her. Drew followed along, and that was when I started to loosen up and enjoy myself.
“He brought that girl,” Parker said in my ear as we were dancing.
“What?” I asked loudly.
She blew out a frustrated breath, touching my arm to pull me in closer. “Jonah. He brought that girl I’ve see
n him with before. He introduced her as Heather. He didn’t say whether she was his girlfriend or not, and if I ask, he’ll just be a smartass about it and not answer me. How can we find out?”
“Ethan or Malcolm must know.”
Parker shook her head, eyeing Ethan, who had moved to the far corner of the room where he was hitting on a different girl, not the one who had been hanging on him in the kitchen. “If I ask them it will get back to Jonah,” Parker said.
I had to admit, I was curious too, mostly because I wondered who would put up with him. The exterior could only carry Jonah so far when there was nothing underneath it.
I spoke in her ear. “Does it even matter? After what happened at lunch, I thought you were mad at him.”
She shrugged it off. “He doesn’t mean it. It’s like a game to him, pretending he’s not interested when I know he is.”
My brows shot up. Did she seriously just say that? Someone needed to wake this girl up. “I get it. Jonah’s hot. Everyone knows he’s hot, including himself. But the inside of that boy is a dark, dark place.”
Parker giggled, and then her hand came over her mouth as her gaze moved above my head.
She didn’t have to say anything. I guessed. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
Parker nodded, and I turned around.
“Kind of like Batman, the dark knight,” Jonah said, looking amused as he elbowed a petite girl with long dark hair standing beside him.
“I don’t think that’s what she meant,” the girl said.
“S’up.” I raised my hand to my hip, not at all sorry or embarrassed that he’d overheard me. When the girl he was with smiled at us with a wide mouth and big brown eyes, I figured it was time to solve the mystery. I turned to her. “If you’re his girlfriend, you deserve a medal.”
Beside me, Parker snickered. The girl in question blinked, surprised at first, then a slow smile appeared on her face. “We tried that, actually, but decided we’re better as friends.”
“Also medal-worthy,” I said dryly.
This time she laughed out loud and lightly elbowed Jonah in the side. “I’m Heather, and you should ignore most of what comes out of his mouth. I do.”
“Hey,” Jonah said, pretending to be offended. “I said you looked pretty tonight. I didn’t see you trying to ignore that.”
Beside me, I could feel Parker bristling, but I had the opposite reaction. Jonah was acting normal for a change, trading jabs with us, joking, and I liked it despite how rude he’d been to me earlier.
“Come on, Candy. Let’s get a refill.” Drew appeared at my side. I’d actually forgotten he was dancing with us.
“She’s barely touched this one.” Jonah pointed at my cup.
“I’m good,” I told Drew.
“Candy,” Drew said in a low voice beside my ear. “I’m trying to rescue you from this douche bag, but I need you to work with me here.”
“Oh.” I tried not to laugh at Drew’s misguided chivalry. I didn’t need rescuing, nor did I want it.
When I looked back at Jonah, his eyes were on me. My stomach did a funny little flip. It was my physical reaction to him that woke me up to the fact that maybe I did need rescuing. I had terrible taste in guys; I couldn’t deny that. Besides, Jonah had completely insulted me less than thirty minutes ago, and here I was swooning over him. Not. Good.
I looked at Drew. “I guess I could use a refill.”
Parker happily stepped in and took over the conversation when I gave the group a small parting smile and let Drew lead me away by the hand, but he didn’t head for the kitchen where the drinks were. Instead he walked toward the front of the house, taking me to a small mudroom by a side door entrance.
“It’s a little quieter here,” he said, then he tilted his head at me. “You didn’t want to talk to that guy, did you? You seemed pretty upset after you gave him his coat back.”
Yes. “No. Thanks. You don’t seem to like him much.”
Drew shrugged. “I don’t know him, but I know his type. He waltzed into school last year like he owned the place. Within a week, he had a hot girlfriend and landed a spot on the football team. You saw how he tried to humiliate me outside for his own amusement. Everything comes easy to him, but just wait a few years. Guys like him peak in high school, and then it’s all downhill after that.”
As he spoke, I could feel my brows inching up. He sounded jealous of Jonah and a little mean-spirited too. “What about you?” I asked. “You’re not peaking in high school?”
Drew shrugged and smiled good-naturedly. “I’m pacing myself.”
I couldn’t help laughing as I wondered what his impression of me was. I was fairly certain that high school wasn’t going to be the pinnacle of my life. “So do you still hang out with Matt and Sean?”
He shook his head. “Sean goes to private school, and Matt’s family moved. I mostly hang with Dom now, who’s around here somewhere. He dragged me to this because he thinks he’s in love with Parker. Not that he’s ever talked to her or anything.”
I chuckled. “I don’t remember Dom.”
“Dominic Anthony? I think he was here when you were. So, how is it being back? Weird?”
Just then, I briefly caught sight of Lea walking past. “No, it’s good,” I replied distractedly.
“My mom would love it if you came by the house sometime,” he was saying. “She still keeps that picture we all took together at the Fourth of July parade on the fireplace mantel.”
“Yeah?” I recalled my mom smiling and laughing in the big floppy hat she wore that day. I closed my eyes for a minute, seeing her face. I really didn’t want to do this with him right now. “I need to find the bathroom.”
His smile faltered a little. “I think there’s one down this hall.”
“Thanks. Be back in a bit.” I grinned and headed down the hallway, but once I was out of his sight, I turned and backtracked to where I’d last seen Lea. For the next half hour, I wandered through the cavernous house looking for Lea, since she’d adeptly disappeared again. I smiled back at whoever smiled at me, but I never paused or stopped. I searched everywhere, but Lea was nowhere to be found, and neither was Parker.
On my way downstairs, I ran into Jonah’s friend Heather. I smiled briefly, planning to walk past her, but she stopped, obviously intending to talk to me.
“Candy, right?”
I nodded.
“I hear you just moved back to town.”
“Right again.”
She looked at me, tilting her head as if she was trying to figure me out. “I go to Claymore. I met Jonah at a football game there.”
I smiled politely, not sure why she was telling me this.
“He can be tough to get to know at first, so I get the hostility, but he really is a good guy. He’s got integrity, the old-fashioned kind, if you know what I mean.”
I didn’t really know what to say. I wasn’t expecting a Jonah sales pitch.
“Anyway, I’m just saying you should give him a break. It’s not my place to tell you stuff about Jonah, but he hasn’t had it easy. I guess that’s why he’s a little rough around the edges sometimes. But if you’re looking for a friend, he’d make a good one. He’d have your back.”
It was hard to believe Jonah could inspire such loyalty in anyone, never mind a girl he used to go out with. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.
When she pursed her lips, I knew she heard my sarcasm.
“Is there a bathroom up here?” she asked.
I laughed. That was my escape excuse too. “Right down there. The only one with no line.”
“Oh, thank God.” With that, she walked away.
I continued down the stairs, mulling over what she’d said, that Jonah hadn’t had it easy. It was the polar opposite of what Drew had assumed about him. But in all honesty, who did have it easy? In my opinion, it wasn’t a good enough excuse for being rude to people.
Going back into the kitchen, I ran into Malcolm. I tensed before I saw he ha
d his arm around a girl with a purple-and-black pixie hair cut and dark black eyeliner. This was obviously his girlfriend, Marta, and I had no memory of her at all. Of course, she must have looked a lot different when we were twelve with hair that was all one color. Tonight she was dressed mostly in black with a long cotton dress that came to her knees and black leggings beneath it.
Malcolm introduced us and I hung out with them for a while, although Marta didn’t say much. A few random guys I recognized from school tried to talk to me, but my mood was plummeting, and I didn’t know if it was Jonah’s rude comment or the fact that Drew had brought up my mother twice. Either way, I wasn’t in a partying mood.
I never ran into Jonah or Heather again, but I spotted Drew a few times and ducked around corners to avoid him. Later on, when Lea never materialized or responded to my texts, Malcolm offered me a ride home.
In the car, I sat in the backseat watching as Malcolm took Marta’s hand and smiled at her while he drove. My chest constricted because I didn’t believe it was real. Unsuspecting Marta was going to get hurt eventually.
Once upon a time, I’d made sure to always have a guy on my arm. They were good for carrying heavy things, driving me places, and making me feel like I was less alone. But I only let it go so far because none of them really mattered, and the one boy I finally gave my heart to shattered it into pieces. When he cheated on me, I was completely blindsided, and I vowed it would never happen again.
Growing up, I hadn’t realized what an anomaly my father was, a man who loved his wife and was faithful to her. Even my uncle cheated on my aunt, and their fights over his affairs could be heard throughout the house.
If given the opportunity, I decided most guys would cheat. Even Theo, the friend I never wanted and the best person I knew, would probably cheat if he had a girlfriend and if life hadn’t completely screwed him.
When I got home from the party, Pumpkin came out of the kitchen and walked around my legs, purring. The house was quiet and dark so I turned on the lights before putting some food in Pumpkin’s bowl. Then I pulled out my phone to blast some music. I hated the dark for lots of reasons, and I disliked quiet too.
