by Debra Doxer
Jonah told them that I was looking for a job, and barely got past the first sentence before they asked me if I had any experience.
I shook my head, regretting the way I’d refused to get a job when my aunt ordered me to. Obviously she’d given my father an earful about it. She said I had to work and start contributing to the household. I told her to send me back to my father then. That was now backfiring on me in unexpected ways.
“I can vouch for her,” Jonah said. “She works hard, and she’s smart. She could do this job with her eyes closed.”
I practically gaped at him as he sold my qualities to them. “I do work hard and I learn fast, and I’m good with people,” I interjected, thinking I should probably do some speaking for myself.
Sam and Stephen looked at each other, debating. “Maybe we could try her out on the weekends to start.”
“What kind of hours were you looking for?” Sam asked.
“Weekends are good, any time.” I bit my lip and glanced between the brothers and Jonah. “I can work after school too, but I’d need a set schedule in advance.”
Sam and Stephen exchanged glances. Then Sam turned to me and said, “Okay. You’re hired—on a trial basis.”
My eyes rounded in disbelief. “Thank you,” I said, unable to hide my excitement. I’d just landed my very first job.
Jonah grinned widely. “Don’t you want to know how much it pays?”
“Um, yes, of course.” I cleared my throat.
“It’s minimum wage,” Sam said flatly.
“How much is minimum wage?” I asked Jonah once we were back in the Jeep.
He chuckled. “Just over eight bucks.”
I did the math and knew I wasn’t getting rich anytime soon, but I’d been under no illusions about that. Still, I’d have my own money and I’d get some job experience. When my father saw that I was applying to colleges like he’d asked and that I’d gotten a job, maybe he’d realize I wasn’t some irresponsible, immature teenager.
“Wow, I thought I was just going over there to fill out an application, and I left with a job. Thank you.” When he flashed me a smile that made my heart stop, I cleared my throat and asked, “Did you only know them from working there? You seemed pretty friendly.”
Jonah glanced at me. “They knew my dad a little. He helped them get their billing system set up.”
His dad certainly had a diverse set of talents.
“Why did you tell them you needed a set schedule during the week?” he asked.
“So I can make dinner for my father and have it waiting for him if I’m not going to be home.”
His surprised gaze landed on me. “You make dinner for him every night?”
“Yes.” I laughed at the disbelief in his voice. “And I eat it with him too. What’s dinner like at your house?”
Jonah shrugged. “Sometimes we stand in front of the microwave together and wait for it to ding. Does your father expect you to make him dinner every night?” he asked, looking appalled at the possibility.
I wanted to laugh at his microwave comment, but I didn’t know if he was joking or not. “No. He doesn’t expect it. You do realize that it’s normal for families to eat dinner together. And since out of the two of us I’m the only one who cooks, I make the meal and he does the cleaning up.”
His dark brows inched up his forehead. “So it’s your idea to cook dinner for you both?”
I stared at him, wondering if he was teasing me. “Why is this such a hard concept for you to grasp, Bryson?”
“Sorry, I’m just surprised. And impressed. It’s kind of a homebody thing to do.” His gaze scanned over me. “And, well, you don’t strike me that way.”
“Exactly how do I strike you?” I asked cautiously, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
“Don’t be offended. You know what you look like. It was a compliment.”
I had every right to be offended. It was a sexist comment, although the hidden compliment took most of the edge off. I still had to at least roll my eyes at him, though.
During the rest of the ride, I wondered about Jonah’s family, where his mother was and what kind of relationship he had with his father. Since he’d said he wanted us to start over, I could feel my idea of him shifting, evolving from a crush or just a physical infatuation into something more complex.
He was showing me other sides of himself, and now that I knew he could be thoughtful and perceptive, it was doing something uncomfortable to me. It was making me like him more than I should. Much more.
It was fully dark when we reached my house, and I wondered if my father was home yet. I hoped he was because I wanted to share my job news, and alarm or not, coming home to a dark house made me uneasy.
“Thanks again,” I said, interrupting the quiet as Jonah pulled to a stop in the driveway.
“No problem.” Resting his hand on the steering wheel, he turned to face me. In the shadowed interior, the intense way he watched me made my heart beat a little faster.
“So I’ll see you tomorrow.” I reached for the door handle, both anxious and reluctant to leave.
“See you tomorrow,” he repeated, and the air felt heavier all of a sudden because I hadn’t moved and he didn’t seem to be in any rush to go.
We looked at each other for a long beat, long enough for me to register a passing car and the sound of a dog barking in the distance. Then Jonah blinked and shifted forward again. It was my cue to go, and I couldn’t help feeling relieved and disappointed at the same time. I also felt rejected, even though I hadn’t made a move and neither had he, but he had to know I wouldn’t have minded if he’d tried.
I might have regretted it in the morning, but in that dark, shadowy moment, I wouldn’t have minded at all.
***
Theo: Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.
I sat alone at the kitchen table eating a stew I’d made. My father wasn’t coming home for dinner; he’d sent me a text after he was already late. The irony of this didn’t escape me. I’d just told Jonah about our nightly family dinners and how I wanted to be home for them. But I tried not to mope or assume my father was purposely avoiding me because of the discord between us.
Despite my solitary meal, I had several things to be happy about tonight. I’d gotten a job and I’d completed two college applications, essays and all. And I was fairly sure a cute boy was interested in me, which was always nice, although this boy was more puzzling than most. But I couldn’t tell my father about the job or the applications, even though I was dying to, because he wasn’t here. And I wouldn’t mention the boy at all because I had no idea what was going on there.
After cleaning up from dinner and leaving a bowl of stew in the refrigerator for my father, I set the alarm, finished some homework, texted with Theo for a while, and then went to bed. It took hours to fall asleep with the day replaying in my head, and a certain pair of hazel eyes floating through my consciousness.
By the time I left for school the next day, I still hadn’t seen or heard from my father, and I didn’t know if he’d come home at all. It was the first time he’d stayed out all night without telling me in advance. A seed of worry took root inside me.
I finally broke down and sent my father a text, simply asking if he was okay. He responded almost immediately, tersely saying he was fine and that he’d see me tonight.
My fingers dug into the phone. My father was never a warm person, but he’d grown even frostier over the last week. If it was work making him act this way, I wished he’d tell me. If it was me, I wish he’d tell me that too. Unexpectedly, I heard Kristen’s words about no one wanting me echoing in my head, but I pushed them aside. If my father didn’t want me here, I had no place else to go. It was a possibility I wouldn’t let myself think about.
Instead, I dealt with my fear and insecurity the way I used to, by stuffing it inside jeans that squeezed me so tightly I could hardly breathe, and topping them off with a V-necked sweater that dipped low
and was just short of inappropriate. Theo would approve, and I already did as I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt like crap today, but I knew no one else would see me that way.
Upon arriving at school, I imparted the usual morning hellos as I withstood stares and whistles. So predictable and so satisfying.
I was already sitting at my desk when Jonah appeared in English class, and belatedly I wondered what his reaction might be to my appearance. I’d been so preoccupied this morning, I hadn’t been thinking about him at all when I got dressed. Would he approve, disapprove, or even notice?
He smiled at first when he spotted me. As he moved closer, the smile dimmed and his eyes narrowed. Instead of sitting in one of the empty seats beside me or behind me, he planted himself in front of me.
Then he turned around and said quietly, “I know it’s a free country and you can wear whatever you want, but you’re looking for trouble dressed like that. Especially in here.” He nodded toward Mr. Harris’s desk.
I stared at him. “Dressed like what?”
His eyes narrowed even further. “Maybe trouble is what you want.”
I shrugged innocently. “I’m not looking for anything. I’m just looking good. You got a problem with that?”
He gave me a look that said I was either foolish or just plain dumb. “I don’t know yet. Ask me at the end of the day.” Then he turned around, leaving me staring at the back of his head.
I scowled. What did that mean? If I got too much attention, he wouldn’t like it? Wait a minute. My scowl lifted. If his reason was jealousy, I actually didn’t mind that.
When class ended, Jonah waited and walked out with me. “See you at lunch,” he said in the hallway, giving me a once-over and shaking his head before disappearing into the crowd.
It took a moment before I realized what he’d said. He was coming to lunch today. He was showing me where he went at lunchtime next week, although I wasn’t sure why it had to wait until next week, but today he was eating in the cafeteria for the first time since the lockbox incident and Parker’s nasty words about his scar. How could he even stand to be in the same room with her?
I was on the edge of my seat in history class, waiting for second lunch. There was bound to be drama, although I knew Jonah could take care of himself. In fact, I could easily see him sitting at the lunch table with his phone, pretending nothing ever happened, taking the high road and making Parker crazy at the same time with his complete indifference to her. I hoped that was what he had planned. She would go insane.
It was just the girls when I first arrived at the cafeteria with my soda and apple. They were talking about the upcoming Christmas break, a conversation that abruptly halted when all the boys arrived at once.
Ethan spoke first, nodding at me and then elbowing Jonah after they sat down. “Nice outfit today, Candy.”
“Thanks.” I grinned happily as Jonah shot me a sideways look.
Frowning, he pulled his sweater over his head, revealing a long-sleeved black T-shirt underneath. “You look a little cold,” he said to me, holding his sweater in his hands.
For a change, I wasn’t cold at all, and we both knew it. “I’m fine.”
His lips pressed into a thin line. “I’ll just leave it here in case you change your mind.” He tossed it over the back of his chair and pulled out his phone.
I glanced over at Parker, who’d watched the whole exchange as she sat there with a big fake smile on her face. It seemed that Jonah was going to pretend she hadn’t called his scar hideous. I could hardly believe it, and I didn’t know if I admired him for it or was disappointed that he was letting her get away with it.
When Parker unglued her gaze from Jonah and looked around the table, her expression shifted, and I could see something unsettling in her eyes.
“My parents are taking me to Hawaii for Christmas break,” she said offhandedly. “They told me last night. But now I don’t know what to tell Reed. He asked me to go with him to his parents’ cabin. He’s going to be so disappointed when I cancel.” Her long pink nails swept through the air as she spoke.
Lea shot me a confused look and I only shrugged. I had no idea what Parker was up to.
“Life is so hard for you,” Ashley commented with a grin.
“So, you and Reed are a couple now?” Malcolm asked.
“He wants to be, but I don’t know. I don’t think my parents would approve.” She looked at her can of soda and ran her finger around the rim.
“Why not? Isn’t his family rich enough for them?” Ethan asked, obviously thinking he was hilarious, but I nearly groaned because asking Parker any questions only played into her hands.
“Actually, his family is the problem,” Parker said. “It’s his mother. She left them, just moved out one day.” Parker trained her eyes on Jonah. “Can you imagine that? Your mother up and leaving you? What kind of mother does that?”
I looked at Jonah beside me because Parker had so obviously aimed that comment at him. Was she making a dig about his absent mother again? What the hell did she even know about it? Had Jonah’s mother walked out on him and his dad?
Jonah’s jaw ticked, but he wasn’t looking at Parker. His eyes were on his phone lying on the table. What Parker said upset him, though. The others might not have noticed, but I could sense how tense he’d become, and Parker wasn’t finished yet.
“It makes me think twice about Reed, to be honest. I mean, what kind of kid drives his own mother away?” Parker asked. “There must be something really wrong with him.”
Jonah’s jaw flexed and his knee began bouncing beneath the table. Parker knew she’d found his weakness, and she was going to pound on it until he broke. She needed to stop talking now, and if Jonah wasn’t going to shut her up, I would.
“It makes me feel really lucky,” she continued. “My parents have been happily married forever.”
Oh, really? I was about to shed some light on her parents’ marriage. “You know,” I began, “I was at the movies the other night and . . . ah!”
I snapped my head in Jonah’s direction, and he shook his at me. He’d just kicked me under the table. My eyes were wide as I stared at him in disbelief. First because he’d kicked me in the shin, and second because he obviously didn’t want me to say anything. How could he not want to shove the truth about her family in Parker’s smug face?
“You’re lucky,” Jonah said calmly to Parker. “I hope you appreciate it.” Then he stood, gathered his things—except for the sweater that he transferred to my chair—and left the cafeteria.
“You are such a bitch.” Ethan glared across the table at Parker. “You know his mom left him and his dad.”
At first anger flamed in Parker’s eyes, but then she took in the scowling faces around her and the wind slowly died beneath her sails.
“That was mean,” Ashley said, and I’d never heard her do anything but agree with Parker.
Malcolm stuffed the rest of his lunch in his bag and shot Parker a dirty look before walking away from the table.
I realized Jonah was right to stop me. Taking the high road was much more effective in this case, especially when he had friends who stuck up for him.
On my way back to my locker after lunch, I wondered what the real story was with Jonah’s mother. Had she left him like Ethan said?
Our situations weren’t the same, dying and leaving were very different, but gone was gone, and I understood the hole that losing a parent left in your life. No one had been there to comfort me once my mother was gone, and wounds healed so much more slowly when you were alone. Did Jonah feel alone? I truly hoped not.
As I changed books at my locker, I found myself pulling his sweater over my head and stuffing my arms into the sleeves. The sweater swallowed me, hanging down to the middle of my thighs and well past my hands. As I rolled up the sleeves, I inhaled his scent, liking the way it enveloped me.
Jonah had revealed so many layers of his personality today. He’d been hurt, not just by an ex-girlfriend but by his
mother too. And he wasn’t as blasé about his scar as he seemed. One vicious comment about it and the self-confidence he wore like a second skin tore easily. But despite the way Parker antagonized him, he chose not to sink to her level, and I was surprised by the part of me that admired that about him.
Jonah’s good and decent qualities were being revealed more each day. Beneath it all, he was a good person. I knew it, just like I knew his eyes were hazel and his hair was black. After the way he held back from hurting Parker today despite the way she’d hurt him, I knew he was a better person than me.
I didn’t see Jonah again until our class together at the end of the day, but then he came in as the bell rang and grabbed the only seat available near the front. When class ended, he stood up, looked around, and stopped when he spotted me.
Making his way down the aisle, he gave me a lopsided grin when he saw I was wearing his sweater. “You were cold after all.”
“It was a little chilly at the lunch table after you left.”
He looked at my shin and cringed. “Hope I didn’t hurt you.”
I shook my head. “You just surprised the heck out of me.”
“Sorry, but I had to think fast. Thanks for wanting to defend me, by the way. I wasn’t expecting that.”
I tilted my head curiously. “Everyone wanted to defend you, and they did after you left. They all stuck up for you.”
A small smile appeared on his face at that news.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said, although he still seemed subdued as he stepped aside, motioning for me to precede him out of class.
I wanted to ask how Parker and everyone else knew about his mom when he never seemed to talk about her, but I understood a busy hallway wasn’t the right place to ask that.
At the corner where he usually headed off in the other direction to his locker, he stopped and looked down at me as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to start. He must have decided not to say it because he took a step back and began to say good-bye.
