by S M Olivier
He lightly smacked my rear. “You know what I mean,” he growled.
My stomach growled back in response. I covered my face in embarrassment as he started to laugh. “So you’re not angry at me or hurt by my decision?” I asked behind my hand.
“No, baby, it was our decision. I love you, Blake Thomas. You saved us. Now let’s get you something to eat.” He rolled out of bed. “Your pizza is still waiting for you.”
Chapter 24
“How about this place?” Jaxson enthused as he turned the laptop around. “It has party rooms, an indoor arcade, rock climbing wall, laser tag, zip lining, go-carts, and so much more!”
Today we woke up determined that we were going to finally plan Alex’s birthday. With less than six days left, we knew we needed to stop procrastinating. We wanted to get it out of the way so we could focus on our trip to California next.
Right after waking, we had fed the girls and asked them if they wanted to go shopping for Alex’s present—even he said he didn’t want birthday presents. Will was taking Kade, Micah, Patrick, and Alex to town to go grocery shopping.
“You do realize we have to chaperone?” Jace laughed.
“We can totally take shifts watching the kids or joining in the fun,” Troy insisted.
“Should I book it?” Jaxson asked enthusiastically.
“Yeah, book it,” Remy insisted. “But are we going to ask Alex first?”
“He’ll be happy with it,” Jaxson waved him off as he left the room on his cell phone.
“What’s the name of the place?” I asked pulling out my own laptop. “I told Alex we’d make the invitations.”
Drake leaned over in his seat and looked at the screen. “Amusapalooza,” he said. “Should we invite all the kids in his class? I know he said he just wanted a few of his friends, but maybe we should welcome the whole class.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” I immediately agreed. I remembered how it felt not getting invited to stuff growing up. Granted, when I was older, my offputting personality was intentional, but when I first lost my dad, it hadn’t been.
“How many children in total are in his…center?” Lincoln asked as he pulled out his own laptop. “Girls, Boys?”
The learning centers were divided into three sections. One for the elementary, one for middle school, and one for high school. Each education unit wasn’t large, by any means. In fact, it was almost laughable, but the kids definitely got a specialized education. They all tested above the national average because of the student-teacher ratio.
“Fourteen,” Drake answered. “Including Alex, Ella, and Nadia. If we add Patrick, Victoria, Micah, and Kade, that’s eighteen.”
“What are you doing?” Noah asked as he leaned over.
“Goody bags,” Lincoln said with a broad smile.
“Umm… I know we are somewhat privileged, but don’t you think putting GoPros in each bag is a bit excessive?” Noah started to laugh. “And those bags are insane! Little paper bags full of candy and little trinkets would probably be sufficient.”
“They’re on sale,” Lincoln said with a smirk. “Besides, this is my friend's company, and I invested in him when no one else believed in him. I’m getting them for next to nothing. We can hand them out before the party and download the footage, do a little compilation of it all after the party is over. Once I get it edited, it will be a fantastic memory for Alex.”
“These kids will never learn the value of working for something,” I said in exasperation, even though I thought it was a wonderful idea. “Christmas was a few weeks ago, and they still have stuff they haven’t opened.”
“What about the kids that Horatio had in his army?” Remy asked gruffly. “I know some families gave them some stuff, but it couldn’t have been easy for them. If the man is getting a deal, then let him get it for them.”
“Are we doing a superhero theme?” Jace asked. “I can order the cake right now. Oh, and don’t forget about Harry, Lincoln. I’m not sure a GoPro for a three-year-old is the greatest idea,” he joked.
“I don’t know about that,” Lincoln smirked. “Imagine if I get this one GoPro that can attach to this helmet. Shots from that low should be fun to mix in with the final edit.”
“Yes, let’s do supeheros,” I agreed as I found templates for invitiations. “Do we have cardstock?” I asked Drake.
“Yes, in the closet.” He nodded, pointing to the living room closet.
“Great!” I enthused as I went over to the closet to get our printer and the cardstock. I grabbed our arts and crafts kit while I was at it.
“How many people?” Jaxson asked coming back into the room.
“Let’s say fifty for right now.” Drake looked up from the notebook he was writing in. When we all looked at him, he grinned and shrugged. “What? All his classmates and then all our family. Then Greg, Miranda, Hazel, Harry, Jemmy, Gavin, Sierra, Rachel and her family, Terrance and the team, Ben and the boys, and I’m sure I’m forgetting a few people.”
“Fifty it is,” Jaxson grinned. The way he was acting, you’d think the party was for him. “Fifty,” he said into the phone. “Yes, I said fifty. What food do we want?” Jaxson looked back over to us.
“Ask them to give us the group number, and we will place the order online,” Drake replied.
“Okay, yes, can we have the group number?” Jaxson asked. He was silent for a few seconds. “Yes, we will place the fun card orders on there too. Okay, thanks. We’ll call you if we need anything else. Thanks, Bevin.” He hung up the phone and looked at us. “Since we have a large group they are charging us thirty dollars a person. That gives us access to the rock climbing wall, zip lining, rock climbing, laser tag, and the arcades.”
“Does anyone else think that this is a bit excessive for a soon-to-be eight years old’s party?” I laughed.
“No” was the resounding answer.
There was knock on the door, and Troy got up to answer it since he was the closest. “I booked a bus,” he laughed. “It’ll be here at five o’clock.”
“Okay. Maybe this has spiraled out of control.” Jace laughed. “But honestly, when’s the last time they’ve been off base for a real outing and not just to go shopping?”
“Hey, Greg.” Troy smiled as he opened the door. “What’s up?”
“Will told me that you were planning Alex’s birthday, and I wanted to give you my card,” Greg stated simply.
“Don’t worry about it, we got it,” Troy shrugged.
“No,” Greg insisted. “I know no amount of money will ever be enough for what Miranda did to you kids. We are aware that no excuse would be sufficient enough for her actions. But please, have no doubt that she feels genuine remorse. She really wants to get to know all of you. She doesn’t want to erase her mistakes. She just wants to start over. And now we’re forever indebted to you, not just because of what you did for the boys but what you did for Harry. A year of no words, no laughter, constant fear and screaming… it was hard on all of us. Please, let us start with paying for Alex’s birthday party.”
“Really, it’s okay. Between all of us living vicariously through Alex, this party is slightly over the top,” Jace insisted. “But maybe, if it’s okay with Blake, you guys can help with the decorating, invitation making, and what not?”
I looked over at Jace and sighed deeply. For someone who cut his mother out of his life, why was he encouraging me to make amends with my own? I could see she was a different person than the one who abandoned us or didn’t fight hard enough for us. I just didn’t want to give her another chance to wreck me, destroy the kids.
“We’re coloring and assembling invitations with the children in about an hour,” I said reluctantly, swallowing my pride for Alex. After all, he did want them to be there.
“Great,” Greg said with a smile. “Just let me know if you guys want or need anything else. Where is it going to be, by the way?”
“Amusapalooza!” Jaxson exclaimed excitedly. “Do we want subs, pizzas, wings
, veggie platter, and fruit platter?”
“Sounds good to me,” Drake stated.
“Who is this birthday party for exactly?” Greg joked as he scrolled through his phone.
“Hey, Alex said he wanted to go to an arcade,” Noah defended Jaxson. I could tell that Jaxson, Troy, and Noah were getting way too into this.
“I have a feeling there’s only going to be a few of us adults that are going to be chaperoning,” I teased as I pulled the rest of the DIY invitations off the printer.
“I want Spiderman!” Alex exclaimed as he reached out for the spiderman cut out.
“May I have Wonderwoman?” Nadia asked politely.
“I want Catwoman,” Ella insisted.
“How about may I?” I said in exasperation as I handed them the characters they wanted. “Thank you for your nice manners, Nadia,” I added with a smile.
“May I,” the other two chirped up.
Our dining room table now had snacks spread out on it, along with a arts and craft store. I didn’t realize how much we had accumulated over time with Ella and Nadia’s love of anything crafty.
“You did a wonderful job with them,” Miranda said, coloring her own invitation.
“I can really only take credit for Ella,” I stated coolly. “Alex basically raised himself, and Gavin helped a little too.”
I really wish the guys hadn’t abandoned me with my mother. I know they thought they were doing what was best for us and they would have been bored to tears, but one of them could have stayed behind.
Knocking on the door gave me a much-needed exit from this conversation. I headed over to the door and was greeted by Rachel, Jemmy, Dawn, and Sierra. I immediately smiled.
“So we heard that we have about fifty invitations to color and design,” Dawn said cheerily.
“And we come bringing ice cream and fruit,” Sierra smiled. “I was in the mood for a milkshake, and I figured it went hand in hand with coloring.”
“Mmm,” I moaned. “I haven’t had a milkshake in forever!”
“Milkshakes!” Alex cried happily. “This is the best day ever!”
We all laughed at his sheer joy.
“Just wait and see, little man,” I teased him mysteriously.
“Okay, so we have bananas, strawberries, peanut butter, chocolate ice cream, and vanilla ice cream,” Sierra commented as she went into the kitchen to unload her bags. “Who wants what?”
“Peanut butter and chocolate,” Jemmy and Ella said simultaneously.
“May I have just vanilla?” Nadia requested.
“Vanilla is so boring,” Alex snorted. “May I have chocolate?”
“Hey, I like vanilla, too,” Dawn teased Alex.
Alex blushed and ducked his head. “I guess…it’s okay.”
The adults laughed at his backpedaling.
“Do you need any help?” I asked.
“No, thank you,” Sierra stated. “I’ve never really cared for coloring. I’ll glue the characters on and glitter the crap out of everything, though,” she smiled. “Now, what about everyone else?”
We all gave her our orders, and Sierra went to work.
“Hey Blake,” Jemmy remarked. “Can we talk real quick?” She looked anxious, and Jemmy was never nervous.
I looked up at her and nodded. “Sure.”
I imagined she wanted to talk to me about what she was going through. I led her back to my room, and I immediately took a seat on the couch. “Have a seat,” I bade her.
She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I do better standing up.” She began to pace. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch. You really don’t deserve it. Drake and I never like to talk about how we lost our Dad. Not even to each other.
“You know mom never really wanted us. She wanted a high power job. She only had us because of Dad. He wasn’t like mom. He would have been happy staying home with us while mom worked, but she constantly demeaned him, and she always wanted more. She wasn’t content with our sixteen hundred foot house in suburbia. She wanted the mansions, the maids, the nannies. Drake was always the good child from birth. I was colicky and caught every virus that went around. She had to stay at home a lot with me. Even though my dad volunteered to. Meanwhile, opportunities for promotions passed her by.
“Then she started blaming my dad for not making more money. She always rode him. Whatever he did was never enough. She drove him to his death. I don’t care what Dr. Wong says, she belittled him and tore him down at every opportunity as she did with me. I was never good enough for her. I was never good at school. I talked too much. I couldn’t focus on most of the subjects. She blamed my dad for that one, too.
“We still don’t know what happened the day that he…took his life. He didn’t seem depressed. His coworkers were as stunned by it as we were. And the thing that bothered me the most was mom didn’t even seem distraught about it.
“Then things went from bad to worse. Now with mom’s verbal punching bag gone, she started in on me. She called me stupid, lazy, and a whore. Nothing I did seemed to make her happy. In the meantime, Drake could do no wrong. He tried to protect me, and he helped me with my work, but Mom kept telling him to stop coddling me. She wanted to turn him against me.”
“She sounds like a witch,” I said in a horrified whisper. I wasn’t going to tell her that Drake had a different opinion about their father’s death. She was already struggling with enough.
“She was. When Drake started to show signs of his gift, I was losing my only friend. She was talking about sending him away to a specialized treatment facility. Then my gift manifested. When she sent us away I was the happiest I had ever been since my Dad died. I was even happier when Pops took us in. I just didn’t realize I carried my insecurities with me.
“Even though the boys were like my brothers, I couldn’t help but feel some attraction for some of them. When I got my mark, I knew it wasn’t to be, so I started fantasizing about my life. I knew Pops had two connections, and I thought, what girl wouldn’t want to be loved by two men? You know, ‘cause I’m greedy.
“Then I met you and I really, really liked you. I was slightly jealous, but I learned to get over it. Then I found Gavin, or should I say, you discovered him. I thought, ‘wow, he really is the one’! There was an instant connection with him before I even knew he was meant for me. When Sierra came along, I resented her. I also hated her, but eventually, I learned its hard not to like someone like her. She’s amazing.
“I wanted to get rid of those insecurities, but it was so hard, especially after my mom contacted me again. I did a little bit of research on her, and it only made me spin out of control. All the hurtful things she said and did to me came rushing back. How dare she pretend that she was the mother of the year and only sent us away because she wanted the best education for us? When I tried to tell her to kick rocks, she turned vicious once more.
“I should have never taken out all my pain and anger on you, even if you are one of the luckiest bitches in the world with seven of the hottest guys in the United States. It didn’t help that my connection looks at you as one of his best friends. I didn’t know how to process the fact that he feels more comfortable talking to you about some things before he would even think to come to me for. We can’t forget that you know him more than even Sierra and I do at times.
“I need to learn that I am enough. That Gavin loves me for me. Not just my good but my ugly too. I need to know that Sierra isn’t against me, that she loves me, too. That Gavin doesn’t compare us and neither should I. He loves us equally in different ways.
“I’m not promising it’ll be done overnight, or that ugliness won’t surface from time to time, but I’m getting the help I need, and I’m going to get better. I’m so sorry for being so ugly to you. You didn’t deserve it.”
By the end of her speech, she was crying, and I got up to embrace her.
“It couldn’t have been easy to grow up with the guys your whole life and not love them. It wouldn’t be a far leap to even fall
in love with them. They really are the greatest.” I hugged her close. “Well, the jury’s still out on Linc, but the other six are amazing. I know what it’s like to take your anger and hurt out on others, and I forgive you, Jemmy. And if you want, I can try to keep my distance from Gavin, even though, like you said, he is my best friend, besides you.”
Jemmy snorted in between her tears. “I couldn’t do that to you and Gavin, because I know you both need to get away from family and vent sometimes. And Lincoln… you’ve already enchanted him.”
I laughed. “Hardly. He’s going to stick around for a little while, but who can blame him? He’s a man who enjoys acting for a living. This is probably the role of his life. He sees another world full of intrigue, mystery, and excitement. When the movie wraps up, he’ll leave and return to real life once more. And thank you for understanding about Gavin. He is someone I feel comfortable talking with when it comes to the guys.”
“No problem, and oh girl.” Jemmy sighed dramatically. “You didn’t see Lincoln the night you were singing with Ben and Gavin. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He’s never leaving, at least not for long. He’ll always come back.”
I groaned. “Whatever. Now, let’s go get our milkshakes and make some invitations.”
“Blake?” Jemmy said tentatively.
“Hmm?” I turned with my hand on the door.
“When do you plan to see Dr. Wong?” she asked as she looked down at her hands. “I mean, I know you hate shrinks, but he’s outstanding. He’s gifted like us. He’s really helping me.”
“I don’t need to see one.” I began to turn the door handle.
“Blake, you had a panic attack during the exercise the other day when the lights were cut off,” Jemmy said quietly. “Imagine if it was a real mission and the guys couldn’t help you? You need to face your demons before they swallow you whole, or worse, cause you to affect the mission negatively."
Her words hit home. I knew I wasn’t getting better. The demons that plagued my nightmares were chasing me in the light of day. Eventually, I feared they might catch me, and if they did, I dreaded that they’d try and drag me down.
