by Lyn Denison
Mel moaned softly, feeling her muscles tense as a reckless craving coursed through her. She felt herself building so quickly toward a climax.
While Crys’s lips were still on Mel’s breast, Mel realized Crys’s fingers were sliding sensually downward. When they at last found Mel’s clitoris, Mel arched almost immediately, tremors of release taking her by surprise.
“Mmm. So quick,” Crys murmured thickly, and Mel could only focus on Crys’s fingers still moving so wondrously within her, tantalizing her.
“Please,” she heard herself beg, her voice so deeply aroused she barely recognized it. “Don’t stop.”
Crys had pushed herself up on the bed and trailed her lips down over Mel’s hot skin, and Mel’s hands cupped Crys’s head, her fingers luxuriating in Crys’s thick dark hair. Then Mel’s entire body seemed to gather itself, climbed impossibly upward, and hovered so awesomely at the peak. Crys’s fingers slid in Mel’s wetness, and when her lips and tongue found Mel’s center, Mel catapulted over the edge, racing downward, gliding on a wave of sensation, before finally coming to a breathtaking rest.
Mel then realized she’d clutched Crys head to her, and she released her hold. Crys slid upward, her face nuzzling against Mel’s breast. Mel’s legs had flexed, too, holding Crys’s fingers in place, and she slowly relaxed her grip.
“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” she asked, and Crys kissed her gently.
“Of course not. You were wonderful.”
Their eyes met, and Mel felt a glow of love swell in her chest. She changed position and pushed herself up, using a gentle pressure to roll Crys onto her back.
“Let me…I want to…” Mel swallowed and gave a soft laugh. “I want to return the favor.”
A shadow of uncertainty crossed Crys’s face. “You don’t have to, Mel. I mean…”
Mel’s fingers grazed Crys’s nipples, and Mel heard Crys catch her breath.
“I think I do have to,” Mel said hoarsely and lowered her head to suckle on Crys’s breast. She gave one full breast her attention and then slid her mouth sideways and paused to delve into the hollow between Crys’s breasts before claiming the other, tasting and drawing in the erotic scent of the other woman. As Mel tenderly pulled Crys’s nipple into her mouth, Crys groaned.
“God, Mel! That’s incredible.”
Mel’s fingers glided downward, and as they found the dark curls Crys instinctively opened her legs. Mel let her fingers move, took her lead from Crys’s responsive nuances.
Crys murmured low in her throat, her muscles tensing rhythmically, and Mel shifted her position, ran her tongue tip down over Crys’s stomach, drew in the heady scent of Crys’s arousal. Crys made a faint protest, but Mel persisted.
“No. Let me. Please.” Then she continued her journey, moving her lips over the wet curls, her tongue finding Crys’s center. She matched Crys’s movements with her own strokes, with her lips, her tongue, her questing fingers.
Crys cried out as she orgasmed, and Mel moved back to cradle the other woman in her arms.
“I can’t tell you how” — Crys gulped a breath — “how fantastic that was.”
Mel grinned. “My aim was to please.”
Crys looked lazily into Mel’s eyes. “You’re simply fantastic, do you know that? How could you know…?” Crys shook her head faintly, and Mel shrugged.
“It does take two.”
Crys leaned forward and kissed Mel softly, slowly, and then she lay back with a sigh. “It’s almost dawn,” she said, and Mel looked toward the French doors.
“So it is,” she said and pulled Crys into the curve of her arm as she slid her other arm warmly around Crys.
Their legs moved until they were naturally entwined and they relaxed together, slipping into an exhausted sleep.
The sun was well up when Mel woke. She blinked, trying to orient herself. And then she realized she was in Crys’s room, in her bed, and her arms were still wrapped around the other woman.
Mel drew in a breath, smelled the warm, so wonderful scent that was Crys, and she sighed contentedly.
This close she could see the fine blue veins crisscrossing the top of Crys’s pale breast, the light freckles on the skin of her shoulder, the fine lines radiating from the corners of her eyes. Mel sighed, her breath gently moving the fine strands of Crys’s dark hair, and Crys stirred.
Mel ran her tongue tip over the curve of Crys’s bare shoulder, and Crys opened her eyes and looked straight into Mel’s. Mel felt her draw a sharp breath.
Crys shifted, turned onto her back, and Mel was forced to release her grip on the other woman. Crys continued to stare up at the ceiling.
“Good morning,” Mel said lightly and raised her head a little to look at the clock. “Well, it’s almost afternoon.”
Crys looked at the clock, too, and sat up. The bedclothes fell away, and Mel’s gaze went to Crys’s fabulous breasts. Then Mel realized Crys was looking around for her nightshirt. But, of course, that was somewhere on the floor on Mel’s side of the bed where Mel had discarded it.
“If you’re looking for your nightshirt, it’s over here somewhere,” Mel said. She was surprised to see a dull flush color the other woman’s face. “But you don’t have to cover up for me. In fact, I prefer it if you don’t.” Mel reached out and let her fingers move lightly down Crys’s bare arm.
Crys turned away again and ran her hand shakily over her eyes. “Mel, I—” She stopped and shook her head slightly.
“Crys? What’s wrong?” Mel pushed herself up onto her elbow so she could see Crys’s face.
“Nothing.” Crys shrugged. “And everything, I guess.”
Mel swallowed. She couldn’t seem to find her voice. Was Crys sorry about what had happened?
A heavy silence enveloped them until Crys eventually gave a soft laugh. “Well, now you know,” she said lightly.
“Know?” Mel frowned.
“What it’s like to sleep with a woman.”
“Sleep with…?” Mel slowly digested what Crys had said, what she meant. “You think that’s what this was?” she asked carefully. “An experiment? Some sort of carryover from my adolescent yearning?”
“Well, wasn’t it?” Crys asked, her voice sounding thick and emotion filled.
Mel swallowed painfully again. “You know it wasn’t.”
“That’s the trouble. At the moment I don’t know what to think.” Crys took a deep, steadying breath. “At least this time I don’t feel quite so guilty. Now I know you’re old enough to know what you’re doing,” she said flatly, and Mel suddenly wanted to cry.
“I told you before, Crys. I knew what I was doing the first time. Oh, I may not have had the moves down pat but, believe me, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.”
Crys turned back to face her. “Mel, you were barely seventeen.”
“I knew I wanted to kiss a woman. And not just any woman. I wanted to kiss you.”
“Mel, you don’t—”
“Don’t what? Don’t know what I’m saying?” Mel gave a short laugh. “Oh, yes, I do. I’m not a naive teenager any more. And I haven’t been living in a nunnery, believe me.”
Crys’s face paled slightly. “Have you…?”
Mel saw Crys swallow, watched the pulse beat erratically at the base of her throat, that wonderful throat, and she felt the ache of desire again as it clutched at the pit of her stomach. Unconsciously her eyes narrowed. “Have I made love to another woman? Yes, I have.”
“But—” Crys moved her head uncertainly. “Terry. You’d been together for years.”
“Yes, we had.” Mel sighed. “I met Terry when I was twenty-one. We became lovers a few months later.”
“Then when…?” Crys frowned and Mel grimaced.
“Terry is a woman,” she said softly.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Crys was obviously flabbergasted. “Terry is a woman?” she repeated in astonishment.
Mel nodded. “Yes. She is. My partner, Marie-Therese.”
“Mari
e-Therese? My God!” Crys went to continue and then closed her mouth. “Does your mother know?” she asked at last.
Mel gave a short laugh. “No. I’m sure she would have told you if she did, don’t you think?”
Crys shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell her?”
“I wanted to,” Mel said unhappily. “But Terry’s, well, paranoid about coming out to families.”
“Don’t you think that choice was yours when it came to your own family?” Crys asked, and Mel sighed.
“I guess I took the easy way out. In the beginning it was sort of a joke, that Mum had taken it for granted Terry was a male. And then it went on for so long it just got harder to tell her. I knew Mum would be shocked, and part of me didn’t want to upset her, or Bill and Amber and Dad. So” — Mel shrugged — “it was easier to let her keep thinking Terry was a guy.”
“Oh, Mel.”
Mel looked across at Crys. “I know. It’s going to be more difficult, more complicated telling Mum now after misleading her for so long. I didn’t plan it that way. Honestly.”
“I didn’t think you would have,” Crys acknowledged.
“But I do intend to tell her,” Mel continued. “I was going to before I came down here, but you know what Mum’s like. She was all fired up packing and organizing Bill, and there just wasn’t…the time didn’t seem right to say, ‘Oh, by the way, Mum, I’m a lesbian.’ ”
Crys absently rubbed her jaw with her hand, and Mel swallowed.
“Did you tell your parents about, well, that you were a lesbian?” she asked, and Crys met her gaze again.
“My father died when I was about five or six. A car accident. After that I think my mother gave up on life. Oh, she didn’t exactly throw herself on his funeral pyre, but she never seemed the same after he was killed.”
Crys grimaced. “When the headmistress told her about my youthful indiscretion, kissing another girl, she barely reacted. I never told her about Diane because I sensed she didn’t want to know. And she died before I met Paul. So I guess I have no right to dictate what you should or shouldn’t say to your parents, Mel.”
“It’s complicated, isn’t it?”
Crys nodded. “I guess it is.”
“And we’ve just made it more so,” Mel added carefully.
Crys’s gaze dropped from Mel’s. “It doesn’t have to be.”
A coldness clutched at Mel’s heart. “You mean we can just forget this morning ever happened.”
“I didn’t exactly mean that,” Crys put in.
“Like last time,” Mel finished bitterly.
“Mel, that was…you know, it wasn’t a good time for either of us.”
Mel ran her hands through her tousled hair. “I know it wasn’t. Things were crazy. We both had our own demons then. You’d just lost David. I was so confused.” Mel glanced across at Crys again. “I even slept with Gary after I kissed you.”
“Oh, Mel.” Crys looked distressed.
“Not because of you.” Mel said quickly. “Because of me. I felt weird, not normal. I thought I needed to prove something to myself.”
“I didn’t mean to make you feel there was something wrong with you, Mel,” Crys said earnestly. “Believe me, I know I should have been there for you, been more supportive. I know how frightening it all is when you feel you’re different from everyone else, but I, I couldn’t cope with what was going on in my own life just then. I had nothing left to give myself. Or you.”
“I know that, Crys. Really. And I don’t know why I felt the way I did. I mean, I’d grown up with you and you were a lesbian and didn’t have two heads or anything. With hindsight, if I hadn’t been such a, well, self-centered little prig, I wouldn’t have put it on you the way I did. I certainly didn’t plan to kiss you that afternoon. It just happened. And later I was horrified I’d done it.”
Crys bit her lip. “I didn’t realize back then that you and Gary had got so involved. And your mother mustn’t have suspected either, or she’d have discussed it with me.”
Mel rolled her eyes. “I’ll bet she would have.” She sighed. “When Gary started to get heavy after the movies the next weekend I thought, why not? How can I reject something I’ve never tried? I told myself other women had sex with men all the time so there must be something in it.” Mel shrugged and smiled crookedly. “Do you suppose that sort of thinking, that kind of female mind-set, is all that perpetuates the species?”
“It might at that,” Crys replied with a faint smile at Mel’s attempt at a joke.
“Well, there wasn’t anything in it for me,” Mel added. “Quite honestly, I was totally unimpressed.”
“Mel, the first time isn’t always the best gauge,” Crys began.
“I know. I told myself that too. Physically it was uncomfortable, and I guess Gary was as inexperienced as I was. But it never got any better for me, Crys. I was relieved when I went down to college in Melbourne, relieved I, well, could stop doing it.”
“Is that when you…?” Crys paused.
“Tried a woman?” Mel finished for her, and Crys gave a faint nod. “Not straightaway. I was too, I don’t know, too much of a coward, I guess. And I still thought I was a freak. Then I met Terry at a party, and we hit it off right away. She’s a bit older than I am and she’d had other girlfriends. I guess you’d say she was experienced.”
Mel realized her fingers were worrying at the bedcovers, and she clasped her hands together. “The first time Terry and I made love I knew what had been missing when I did it with Gary. So freak or not, I knew I was a lesbian.”
“And you and Terry really did break up over another woman?” Crys asked gently.
Mel nodded. “Oh, yes. I thought Terry and I had a fairly solid, committed relationship. Then she told me she was seeing Maureen and wanted out.” Mel shrugged. “That was it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I was too. Back then.” Mel’s words seemed to hover over them.
“And now Terry’s not seeing Maureen any more.”
“So she tells me.”
“How do you feel about that?” Crys asked.
Mel frowned. “Indifferent, I guess you’d say.” Mel glanced sideways at Crys, unsure of Crys’s reaction to her words. Mel saw the throb of the pulse at the base of Crys’s throat, and she felt a tingle of renewed desire. Mel wanted to reach out and mold her hands to Crys’s breasts, but something held her back. She had no idea how Crys felt about all this.
Crys moved then, slid from the bed, and Mel’s mouth went dry just looking at her naked body.
“I think I need a shower and some coffee,” Crys said lightly.
“Crys.” Mel swung her legs over the side of the bed.
“Let’s take a break, Mel.” Crys’s words halted Mel. “I need time to, well, digest all this. Can we talk later?”
Mel hesitated and then nodded reluctantly. Crys continued on into her en suite.
Mel pushed herself to her feet, stretched her muscles, and felt the pull of wanting again. She paused, considered joining Crys in her shower, and then turned away. Crys had said she needed time, and Mel had to respect that. She conceded that all this must have been something of a shock for Crys, and Mel was prepared to give her all the time she wanted to get used to it all.
Feeling the strength of resolution, Mel decided there was one thing she was sure of. After those few delightful hours this morning, of having Crys in her arms at long last, she wasn’t going to give up on what they had. Not without a fight.
Mel went through to the bathroom and stepped beneath the warm shower spray. She ran her hands over her body and felt her skin tingle as she imagined her own hands were Crys’s, gliding over her as they’d done so delightfully just hours ago. And Mel went weak with renewed desire.
She’d waited so long to make love with Crys, and now she suspected she’d never want to stop. She had fallen head over heels in love with Crys, and that wasn’t going to change any time soon.
But hadn’t she believed she was in love with
Terry just six short months ago? The thought came out of nowhere, and Mel paused.
She had loved Terry, but she’d known it was over right from the minute Terry had admitted to breaking their commitment. Terry’s betrayal had killed that love. But Mel knew now she’d stubbornly held onto the relationship she’d had with Terry during the long months after their breakup.
Or perhaps she’d simply clung to the idea of being in love out of habit, or maybe out of the fear of being on her own. For whatever reason it hadn’t been healthy, and she was just relieved that she’d pulled herself out of it. Coming home, making the complete physical break from Terry, had been the best thing she could have done.
And now there was Crys. Mel was in love with her. Deeply, burningly, and yet comfortably, if that was the right word. She wanted Crys physically just as she’d wanted Terry, and yet not in quite the same way.
With Terry, Mel had always been the follower, always felt she’d been on call, waiting to bend any way Terry wanted. Mel sensed Crys would never ask that of her. With Crys it was a two-way thing. And that’s the way a relationship should be. At least, the kind of relationship Mel now realized she wanted.
But all that aside, Mel knew she’d always been a little in love with Crys. Mel had been about ten years old when they first met, and Mel had adored Crys, had followed her around. Later that adoration had developed into the major crush that had had such devastating effects. And now, well, Mel wanted to spend the rest of her life with Crys. Working the farm. Talking. Making love.
Mel played the shower spray over her face. She remembered the first time she and Terry had made love. The excitement. The heady sense of being set free from the ill-fitting mores of convention, of expectations. The wonder of realizing as fact what she had always suspected, that she was a lesbian, that she didn’t have to play a part dictated by society.
