by Lydia Cole
Johnny waved him off and directed his eyes back to me. “So? What is he to blame for?”
“My crappy singing,” I said softly. “It’s all his damn fault.”
Hayden sighed and sank into a chair directly across from Johnny. “I disagree.”
Johnny looked back and forth at us, a slow smile creeping across his face.
“No,” I said quickly. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” He asked innocently.
“I know your game, old man. I just have to try harder.”
Johnny shrugged, turning back to the paperwork on his desk. “Whatever you think, Lu-Lu.”
“I think you were mean to me,” I said, daring him to argue.
“Lu.” Johnny sighed and put down whatever he was looking at. “I was frustrated. I’ve never had to coach you before. I’ve never had to try and squeeze perfection out of you. I felt like you didn’t care about it and I got mad. I’m sorry for making you upset.”
I couldn’t stay mad at him, anyway. He knew that. I sighed and walked over, pulling his chair out and curling up in his lap. It might have looked awkward to someone who didn’t understand us, but for me, it was the safest place on Earth. “I’m sorry I wasn’t giving you everything I had.”
He chuckled and stroked my head. “You’re getting a little old to be in my lap, don’t you think, Lu-Lu?”
I shook my head. “Never.”
“I think you should take a few days off. You’ve been working a lot lately.”
“I don’t need a day off.” I stood up and kissed him on the cheek. “I do need to sleep, however. Come on, Hayden.”
***
Once I was past all the fears, I found that being with Hayden was actually pretty much the most amazing thing in the world. And not just in bed. Although he was definitely the most amazing thing in the world in bed. But, just being with him made me smile. Waking up next to him, watching as he snored lightly in the soft morning glow, made me tingle in a place I didn’t know existed.
The next day at the studio went a lot better. I finished up the two songs left on my album and the one song left for the guys. Hayden made good on his word, whether he intended to or not, sending me into the recording booth with thoughts that had me boiling. I only had to go back once. Johnny was thoroughly impressed, he told me so himself.
Hayden’s plan backfired, though, because I was still mad when I finished singing. I gave him evil eyes as I pushed past him, throwing my purse over my shoulder.
He caught up to me easily, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pulling me to him. “You’re not allowed to be mad at me.”
“Oh, yes I am.”
“I just said that to make you mad.”
“Well, you did a damn good job.” I pushed away and headed for the back. I’d driven to work that morning, with the intention of heading over to the hotel to see Tiffany after I was done. Just the thought of going to see her made me want to punch something, though. I turned and glared at Hayden again. “You’re such a fucking asshole, Hayden.”
He put his hands up in surrender. “That’s what you keep telling me.”
I yelled in irritation and headed for the back door. “If you want the porn star so badly, you just go ahead and fucking find her.”
“Lucy,” Hayden called as I walked through the back door.
I didn’t stop. I got into my car and sped off. His words were still bouncing around my head. Tiffany was looking pretty hot today. I was pretty sure he had meant it to make me jealous, and it was working wonderfully. I knew she was hot. The girl was like the perfect little angel, pristine and naïve and perfect. Me? I was torn and tattered by the world. I was dark and angry. I was just another rich girl with a record deal instead of a therapy bill.
“Dammit!” I punched the steering wheel, then cringed and rubbed the spot in apology to my car.
My phone rang and I dug it out of my purse. Of course it was him.
“What?” I answered.
“Dammit, Lucy. You’re freaking crazy, do you know that?”
“So?” I pulled the phone away from my ear and screamed loudly. “You don’t even understand how much that actually affected me, Hayden.”
“Lucy, stop. Baby, just calm down. Where are you?”
I glanced around to place myself. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean I got in the car and started driving and I’m not entirely sure where I am.” I threw the phone onto the passenger seat and hit the GPS system to activate it. I heard Hayden yelling on the phone, but I couldn’t understand him. I cranked up the music to drown his tiny voice out. “I don’t listen to assholes!” I yelled over the noise.
In the middle of being mad and yelling at the phone, I ran a yellow light. And, just my luck, it was the shortest yellow light in history. I sped up, but it didn’t work. A big truck was speeding toward me, not slowing down because his light had turned green. I didn’t have time to react. He clipped the back of my car, narrowly missing my door, and sent my car spinning away. I hit a few things, but I couldn’t process the directions the car was going. All I know is that when I finally stopped, I was upside down. And everything hurt.
“Fuck,” I breathed with the last bit of air in my lungs.
Chapter Thirteen
A distant beeping noise pulled me back to consciousness. I couldn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t breathe. There was something in my throat and my hands were stuck. I struggled against my restraints, but to no avail. Finally, I felt a hand on my head.
“Lucy, calm down. You’re in the hospital, sweetheart. Can you open your eyes?”
I wanted to tell her that I’d tried that already, but no sound came out. Slowly, I managed to peel my eyelids apart.
A pretty, petite woman in scrubs smiled at me. “Well, hello, dear.”
I groaned in response. Everything hurt. My whole body. Head to toe.
“I know you’re hurting,” she said, checking things as she spoke softly to me. “I had to turn down your medicine so I could see how you were doing. Now, squeeze my hand.”
My eyes rolled up, staring at the bland white ceiling. It took a lot of effort, but I managed to squeeze the small hand in mine.
“Good, good. Do you remember what happened?”
I nodded slowly, a tear streaming down my face. I’d never been in this much pain before. It was excruciating.
“You were in a wreck, remember?”
The tube down my throat held my sarcastic tongue back. I opened my eyes and tried to pick my hand up.
“Okay, here’s the deal. You’re awake. You’re alert. I’ll untie your hands. If you try to pull things out, I’m going to tie you back. Understand?”
I nodded slowly again. Once my hand was free, I reached up and grabbed the tube that was in my mouth.
“Ah!” She snatched my hand down and gave me narrowed eyes. “What did I just say?”
I sat back and groaned.
“As soon as we get your lab results back, we can pull that tube out. You’re breathing on your own, but I have to make sure that your body can handle it before we take it out, all right?”
Did I really have a choice? I just continued staring at the ceiling.
“Good. Now, you have some visitors that I promised could come back when you woke up. Are you up for them?”
I picked my head up, then winced at the pain.
“Oh, wait.” She pushed a button and the bed propped me up more.
Once I could see, I felt a little better. I looked down and my heart skipped a beat when I saw her name tag. Julia, I thought. Mom was watching out for me.
“Now, just between you and me, I’m totally in love with your dad.” Julia waved a hand in front of her face wildly. “But don’t tell him that.”
I smiled behind the stupid tube. I didn’t want them to come in and see me like this, but I had a feeling they’d been there while I was unconscious, anyway. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, then pointe
d at the clock on the wall.
“Oh. It’s five.” Julia turned back and smiled at me. “And it’s Thursday. You’ve been out for two days. You came in on Tuesday.”
My eyes widened. Johnny was probably killing himself worrying over me.
“Don’t worry. You’re going to be fine. Now, let me just go call Johnny Gold back here.” She giggled and fanned herself a little more before walking out of the sliding glass door.
I closed my eyes for two seconds, then there were people in my room. I opened them with a little less effort than before and smiled at Johnny.
“Jesus, Lucy.” He bent over and hugged me gently. “You scared the crap out of us.”
My arm reached up slowly and pat his head. I couldn’t talk, but I could let him know I was okay. I tried not to wince, but I couldn’t help it. I glanced around the room, smiling at the other faces. Jack was next to Johnny, a big hand on my shin. Billie was hugging Jack from behind, obviously upset to see me in the hospital. She reached a hand out and touched my toe when I looked at her.
Vernon was hanging in the back corner, looking at me with a small smile. He knew I was all right. Ben and Grant were on the other side of the bed, not touching me, and a little on edge. Nate was standing back by the door, leaning against the wall. And Hayden was…nowhere to be found. That hurt more than my body.
I gave Ben confused eyes, but he just shook his head and stepped toward me. “He’ll be back.”
Jack rubbed my leg. “So, you broke your collar bone, fractured a few ribs, and even managed to puncture a lung. Pretty good for a joy ride in the ‘Vette, huh?”
My lips curled up and I relaxed into the bed, unable to expend any more energy on looking at them. No wonder it hurt so much to move. Or breathe.
Johnny was petting my head, concerned fatherly eyes on me. “What were you even doing on that side of town, Lu-Lu?”
I opened my mouth to answer, then sighed and pointed at the tube in my mouth.
“Oh, right.” He smiled and kissed my forehead. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. All that matters is you’re okay.”
Julia shooed them out and, in a disgusting event, pulled the tube out of my throat. I coughed and sputtered, choking on the mess that came up with it.
“There, now. Your throat is going to hurt for a while. I have some numbing spray if you want it.”
“Water,” I said hoarsely.
She shook her head. “Afraid not, lovie. Not yet. Open wide.”
I did as I was told, enjoying the numbing sensation as she sprayed the anesthetic into my throat.
“Can I have my phone?” I managed to get out between breaths.
She scrunched her eyebrows. “I don’t think you have one here. I’ll check. It might not have made it out of the wreck. You should see the pictures. It’s a miracle they got you out.”
I sighed loudly and decided to take inventory of my injuries, instead. My right arm was in a tight sling. There was a tube coming out of my right side, with something that looked a lot like blood inside. I picked the tube up and looked at it.
“That’s a chest tube. It’s draining the fluid from your chest.”
“Fun,” I said dryly. “All those people that were just here, are those the only ones who have been here to see me?”
Julie stopped what she was doing, turning to look at me. “No. There was another guy who was here all the time. I thought he was that guy from the picture. Your boyfriend, or whatever. I haven’t seen him today, though. Not since early this morning.”
I frowned and laid back. “Why?”
She sighed. “He was really worried, Lucy. He didn’t talk to anyone. He came in here and held your hand as long and as often as we’d let him. I’ve seen this a thousand times before. He had guilt in his eyes.”
“I was on the phone with him. We were arguing.”
She cringed. “That’ll do it.”
“It’s not his fault.”
“I know that and you know that.” She put a hand on my arm. “Just give him some time.”
I nodded slowly. “Is anyone still outside?”
“Of course. I think they’ve been taking shifts. Someone’s always here.” She smiled and headed for the door. “I guess I can let someone back in since I took the tube out.”
Apparently, Nate was the only one outside. He came in slowly, looking at me with cautious eyes.
“I’m not dead, Nate.”
He smiled slightly, then moved to the stool next to my bed and sat. “I thought you were for awhile. It was scary.”
“It was pretty freaking scary for me, too. I was there.”
He chuckled, pulling a leg up and finally looking me in the eye. “Hayden’s a mess, Lucy.”
“I figured. Can I use your phone?”
He nodded, then pulled it out slowly. “We’re not supposed to use it in here. They fussed at Johnny yesterday.”
“What are they going to do, kick me out?” I smiled at him and found Hayden’s number. It rang, then went to voice mail. I frowned.
“I’ve been trying to call him. He’s not answering.”
“Obviously.” I continued to dial him until he finally answered.
“I’m not in the mood, Nate.” Hayden bit out. “Stop calling me.”
“Wow. And here I thought you’d be happy to hear from me.”
He sucked in a breath. “Lucy. Baby, I didn’t know you were awake. How are you? I’m on my way over, now. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on it.” I laughed when the phone beeped and handed it back to Nate. “Why wasn’t he here?”
“Johnny sent him home early this morning. He hadn’t left before that. He hadn’t slept or showered in two days.” He fiddled with his phone. “It wasn’t very pretty. Johnny had to make him mad to finally get him to leave. Ben brought him back to the hotel and made sure he got into the shower, then came back.”
I laid back and closed my eyes. “I’m alive,” I said quietly. “I’m a little beat up, but I’m alive.”
“You want me to leave so you can sleep?”
I put my good hand out and grabbed his. “Please don’t.”
He stiffened slightly, but relaxed when I squeezed his hand. “Okay,” he said, holding my hand tightly in his.
It was a little connection that I desperately needed. Nate wasn’t Hayden, but he was a friend and I needed whatever I could get.
“Where’s everyone else?” I asked as my eyes started to droop.
“Johnny took them down to get something to eat in the cafeteria. We figured they wouldn’t let us back in until visiting. He’s going to be mad when he gets back.” Nate smiled slightly. “Then again, he is Johnny Gold. I’m sure he can pretty much do what he wants around here.”
“Pretty much,” I agreed.
“Lucy,” Julia popped into my door. “He’s here.”
I nodded, released Nate’s hand, and sent him away with a hug. “Tell your stupid brother to get his ass in here.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled at me and wandered out of the room.
I was beyond the point of exhaustion. I’d been up for a little over a half hour and I was drained. I hated it. My mind started to panic about the tour and the albums. Would I have enough energy to make it through a show in June? Was four months enough time to recover? I certainly hoped so.
Hayden appeared in the doorway, watching me with weary eyes. It tore my heart in two to see him like that. I held a hand out to him, urging him forward. In a swift motion, he was sitting in my bed with me wrapped tightly in his arms.
“You’re not allowed to drive anymore,” he choked out, burying his face in my neck. “Never.”
I laughed quietly, holding him with my left arm. “I’m fine, Hay. I’ll be fine.”
“You weren’t fine.” He sat back and held my face in his hands. “I heard the whole freaking thing. I heard you scream. I heard the glass shatter and the wheels squeal. It was awful. I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to lose you.” He
sucked in a breath and kissed me. It was gentle, but I felt the need behind it. The urgency.
“Well, I’m good now. And before you know it, I’ll be back to aggravating the crap out of you.”
He smiled slightly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Lucy. I never should have done that to you. I never should have said that stupid shit.”
“Hey, hey. It’s not your fault. I was driving retarded, just like always. I wasn’t even holding the phone. It was sitting in the passenger seat. It could have happened any other time.”
He shook his head, ready to argue more. I pulled his face to me and laid a kiss on his lips.
“I thought we agreed to stop arguing,” I said quietly.
Hayden chuckled. “That was before.”
“Oh? And what is the agreement, now?” I was trying to keep it light and I was trying to hide the fact that I was hurting so badly I wanted to cry.
“There is no agreement.”
My face fell.
“Lucy, I sat around for two days wondering if you were alive. The only agreement I’m interested in right now is one that you don’t want to hear.”
I smiled slightly, patting his cheek. “You want to try to ask me again? I might give you a different answer.”
He leaned forward and kissed me. “Just get better and get out of this stupid hospital, Angel. That’s all you need to worry about.”
Chapter Fourteen
It was a long week in the hospital. When they finally sent me home, I had at least three people at my beck and call twenty-four-seven. Johnny hired two nurses to stay with me all the time, though I didn’t need them at all. Not to mention Maya had worked out a schedule so that everyone rotated staying with me during the day so I wouldn’t die from boredom. They were too good to me.
My right arm was still in a sling and I was sore as hell, but I felt a whole lot better. I walked with a limp sometimes, mostly from the whiplash. The doctors said I should be up and running again before the tour, but it may take years for me to fully recuperate, if I did at all. That was terrible news, but at least I’d be able to do the tour. My sets might have to be shorter, though.
Hayden stayed by my side until someone pulled him away. The guys were busy with photo shoots and publicity stunts. Johnny had released another single and it took off instantly. They were on their way to the top. I was so proud of them.
