by R. J. Rogue
"You shouldn't. I'm not -- what you think I am?"
"Then, who are you?" She asks.
I shake my head.
"Not who. What."
She stands silent in the rain.
"Then why don't you come down from there and we can talk about it? Please?"
If I come down from here, that will be the end of me. If I stay up here, maybe she will just run off and be upset with me. Maybe that will only be temporary.
"Evan, please," she says again.
I wish she'd stop saying that. I adjust my sitting position and my body loses strength and balance. I slip out of the tree.
"Evan careful!" Essence calls.
I fall facedown onto the ground. No physical damage done or pain inflicted. But my spirit…My spirit is crushed. Essence grabs hold of my arm to help, but I withdraw my arm, and hold out my hand to keep her away.
"No. Stay there."
I kneel on the soft grass and sit on my heels. I keep my eyes and mouth shut.
"Evan?"
Essence takes a step towards me. "What's wrong?"
Everything.
"Evan talk to me."
Essence tries to look into my face, but I withdraw.
I smell her blood and hear her heart race, yet she continues taking steps towards me.
"I'm not -- human."
I slouch my head. She pulls me into her lap and I wrap my arms around the backs of her thighs, hugging her. She runs her hands through my hair. I exhale deeply.
"What do you mean you're not human, Evan?"
"You won't believe me if I told you. You won't believe your eyes," I murmur.
"I'd believe anything you show and tell me. I will never judge you."
I fight to not look up. I am unsure of how she would react seeing for herself. Her hands began to caress atop and behind my head, then down to my cheeks. She begins lift my face up to her. I resist, at first, but then give into her alluring, addictive scent, and touch. I close my mouth and kept my eyes shut.
"Evan."
I could never resist her voice saying my name. I slightly release my jaw exposing the monstrous overbite. I open my eyes and allow her to see the red embedded into my pale face. Essence takes a step back gasping and cupping her hands to her mouth. Her scent becomes stronger. Fear. She is afraid of me as I expected. Petrified rather. I hear her heart race and can smell the blood rushing through her veins. I fight to not think about a taste. This is exactly what I would have to fight every day.
"Evan," she says through her hands.
I gulp and drop my head back to the ground.
"I'm a vampire," I tell her trying to fight the anger building within.
"But vampires --"
I nod.
"Aren't real. Well, they are…I've been lied to. This whole time. My entire life just…One big lie."
"Evan I…”
My hands ball into fists.
"A LIE! HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?! HOW?! WHY!"
Essence gasps and backs away, but then grabs hold of my face with her hands and pulls me back into her lap.
"NO! STOP!" I grab hold of the sides of her thighs with my hands, she winces, fights back to hug me, and when her hold breaks, she grabs me again.
"ESSENCE! STOP! LET ME GO!" I yell at her trying not to cry. She grabs my face and forces me to look up at her. I bite down, pressing my two rows and teeth together, trying to fight my anger. It's—slipping.
"Evan," she says softly.
I look into her eyes and submit. She looks at my lips. I look at hers. She closes her eyes, presses her lips against mine, and our lips press and fold against each other with fragility and passion. I weaken beneath her as my body begins to slouch, but she holds my face firmer than before, and continues to kiss me, as my lips become weak, and we breathe between each smack from our lips. I gulp, and can't keep going, but she slowly, caressingly, continues. She stops for a moment, kisses my bottom lip, places her forehead against mine, and doesn’t let go of my face for even a second. I try to catch my breath.
"I'm here for you, Evan. I'm here for you."
My teeth no longer ache or feel like knives hanging from my gums. I look into my hands and my complexion returns. I fail to hold my weight up any longer against her lap and fall forward. She falls back into the mud, catches me, and wraps her arms and legs around me.
"I can hear your heart beating," I whisper.
She catches her breath as she runs her hand through my hair, beneath the falling sky of the forest.
"I can feel yours," she says. I squeeze my hand between us, and it's there. My heartbeat.
"Everything is going to be okay, Evan," she says. "Everything is going to be okay."
Chapter Eighteen: Lost and Found
I've never slept so well in both my human and vampire life. No nightmares. No tossing and turning in my sleep. No waking up in a pool of sweat. Just peace and quiet. There's no use denying what I am. I can only hope that with time, I can accept it. To be able to live my life. It's just a matter of what's expected of me. What's a vampire's daily life? What are their routines? What do they do to have fun?
"Good morning, Evan," mom says as I take a seat at the kitchen island.
"Good morning."
"I made you breakfast. A veggie wrap, orange juice, and toast."
"Thanks. Maybe blood would have been a better."
She exhales and her face hugs the floor.
"I'm just kidding."
She exhales relief placing a hand on her chest as she chuckles. It's short-lived.
"Evan, I can't explain how sorry I am for all of this."
I begin to fork at my plate hoping this conversation will end as quick as it begun. I can't say that I blame any of them. I did learn more about myself and my past but still, of anything in the world, I would have never guessed vampires exist let alone I be one.
"I'll be fine."
"Well, I know this is hard for you and I would never mean to hurt you. Please understand that we --"
"Did it for my protection and to be safe," I nod. "I know and really, it's okay. I'll be fine."
She tries to find a smile.
"Okay. I just want you to know that this doesn't change anything between us. I have and will always love you. You’re still my son. Nothing will ever change that."
I would hope not.
"I know, Mom," I say.
"I don't want you to still feel obligated to call me that neither. If it makes you more comfortable, you can call me, Sarah. I'll understand."
I shake my head.
"No. I like calling you mom. I can't just be who I am because of this mark," I say looking down at my hand. "I believe a part of who I am has to be because of you also. And Mike.”
She smiles and a tear forms in the corner of her eyes. She pulls me into her arms and hugs tight.
"I love you, son."
"I love you too, mom."
She lets go and I wish she hadn't.
"Oh, and Mom?"
"Yes sweetie?" She stops before leaving the kitchen.
"I have questions. I want to go back and speak with them more, but I just don't want to go alone."
"I'll go with you," she smiles.
"Can Essence come as well?"
"Essence?" she says walking back into the kitchen with a smirk.
I blush.
"The girl from school you've had that crush on?" she asks smiling.
I chuckle yet sink into the stool a bit.
"Ahhh, gotten closer I see?"
I nod and smile.
"We’re close…and she knows."
"About --"
"Yup," I nod my head. "She knows what I am."
"And she accepts it?"
"Well, yeah," I say trying to believe it myself. "Yeah, she does."
"I like her already," she smiles and kisses my forehead.
"I'll let Kaius know to expect us."
"Okay. Thanks, Mom."
"You're welcome," she smiles and walks away. "Oh a
nd Evan?" She calls coming back.
"Yes?"
"You're a who. Not a what. Okay?"
I laugh.
"Okay."
She rubs my cheek and heads upstairs. I text Essence about coming with us and smile at her acceptance. Apart from all the questions I have for my family, I most importantly need to talk to Mike. We have yet to have an actual conversation since his disappearance over a week ago. His family is worried about him and why hasn't my best friend stayed in touch? Guess, I can actually answer that last part myself. Even so, I want to hear how'd this happen with him. I was born this way – different. Mike was human all the way down to each cell in his body.
I sit in the back of the car watching the wet forest, houses, and small businesses, pass on by. My mother loves to drive while listening to my writing playlist of peaceful and relaxing music. It goes very well with the weather and can reduce stress.
"Just to let you know I have to leave out of town for a few days," she says.
I squint.
"Such a late notice I know," she continues, "but if I land this, well it will be good for us both. Would mean a better position within the business and more food for you and your family."
"Sounds good I guess," I say looking out the window.
"What's wrong, Evan?"
Drinking blood. Something you're all going to have to force down my throat.
"I just hope I don't go through this change while you are gone."
She sits quiet a moment.
"I hope not either. I'm sorry. I wouldn't, but your father insisted that I go while they help you prepare."
Kaius stepping in as a father figure already? Not use to that.
"Well, you did say it was for the family," I say. "Since it's for the best, I hope you do get the job."
"Thanks for understanding. Try not to change before I'm back. Wouldn't want you to forget who I am?"
"How could I forget who you are?" I chuckle.
She doesn't respond. Her eyes blink slowly in the rearview mirror as she eyes the road.
"So, your birthday is in a few weeks."
It is. Completely forgot.
"Yes."
"What would you like as a gift?"
My heart can stop beating at any moment so there's only one possible thing I want, but is not promised.
"To live."
"You'll be able to forever once you die."
"But when I wake I won't be human."
She nods slowly and exhales gently.
"Right. You won't be."
She looks at me in the rear view mirror. I turn my face away and look into the clouds above. Soon, we are parking in front of Essence's house. Giving her directions helped weed out our talking about my death.
"Don't forget to be a gentleman," she says as I take a step out of the vehicle.
"I know, mom."
As I walk up the front steps, Essence steps out of her house and smiles that perfect smile before hugging me. Her father stands in the doorway.
"Hello, Evan."
"Hi, Mr. LaRoux…I mean, Tom." I say with a smile.
"Here to steal my daughter again?" He says laughing.
"Just for a bit if you don't mind."
"With how she's been all prancy and smiley around the house, by all means have her."
"Would love to!" We laugh. I look over at Essence and she's as red as a beet. I smile inside. I caught her blushing.
My mother honks the horn and waves.
"Hello!" Mr. LaRoux call to her.
"Hello! We'll keep her safe!"
"Please do!" He calls back.
"You two have fun," he says.
"Thanks dad," Essence kisses his beard. He nods a farewell to me.
"Evan."
I nod back and chuckle.
"Mr. LaRoux."
He heads back into the house and closes the door.
"Hi, Essence. Thanks for coming. I couldn't do this without you."
"I told you, I'm here for you." She smiles and kisses my cheek before making her way to the car. I open her door and she hops in. I then get in from the other side and my mother reverses out of Essence's driveway.
"Nice to meet you, Essence," my mom says as we pull away from the house.
"Nice to meet you too, Ms. Foster."
"Evan was just telling me about you and please, just call me Sarah."
"Oh, was he?" she asks looking over at me and smiles.
I avert my eyes and look out the window shaking my head with a blush.
"Sure was."
"Is it supposed to rain again, today?" I ask.
"We're supposed to be having a storm coming in," my mom says. "Hope it doesn't get too bad out."
Mission accomplished. Subject changed.
"I hope not either. My father is supposed to go on a camping trip over in the Valley. I can try to convince him otherwise, but I doubt he'll listen."
"That's men for ya."
They laugh and I roll my eyes.
"So, how'd you two love birds get so acquainted?"
"Well," I say, "we're in the same painting class at school."
"Evan, rescued me from the rain."
"Oh, did he?" My mother smiles through the rearview mirror.
Gee, thanks, Essence.
"Sure did. He's been nothing, but a gentleman. I learned of how great of an artist he is. All of his work in painting class surpasses anything I’ve ever seen.”
That’s a bit far from truth, but I’ll accept the compliment.
“I also learned he is a passionate writer."
My cheeks burn from smiling as I scratch the back of my head.
“He sure is,” my mother looks at me in the rear-view mirror. “He writes every day.”
"He's even shown me where he does his writing," Essence adds.
"Ah, the big ol' tree he used to always climb as a child."
I did?
"Yes," Essence responds to her. "I've read a bit from his notebook and --"
"Really?" My mom asks in disbelief. "I've wondered myself what is written in that notebook of his."
"Thoughts, dreams," Essence answers. "Like one big diary."
I wish Essence would stop snitching, yet, a part of me likes hearing how she feels about me.
"Is there anything in there about me?"
"Okay, let's not talk about that right now," I say and Essence begins to laugh.
"Anyway, Essence you do know why we are going up to the cliffs, right?"
Ugh. Let's not talk about that either.
"Yes," Essence nods. "Evan told me all about it yesterday. Well -- shown me really."
"You're not afraid are you?"
"Not as I would have expected to be. I mean -- he won't hurt me."
"Not intentionally."
WHOA. Stop right there. Too much information.
"We almost there?" I ask now sitting up and gripping the headrest of the passenger chair.
"Yup, almost there. Just up this trail."
We parked outside in the grass in front of the cream stained glass windowed mansion. Walking around to the back is impossible, and to see it, you would need a boat and even then, the cliff would be high above you.
"Sarah," my father bows standing in between the now open red doors with Valencia my mother.
"Always welcome,” she says bowing her head a respectful gesture.
"Hello, Kaius. Valencia," Sarah responds with a smile.
"Is this...Essence, Evan?" my mother asks as they gaze at her.
"Yes, Essence LaRoux," I respond. "Essence this is my mother, Valencia, and my father, Kaius."
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Macrae,” Essence smiles.
"She’s beautiful," Valencia compliments.
“Undoubtedly,” Kaius agrees.
"Thank you," Essence smiles. "It’s nice to meet you."
"We're happy to have you join us this afternoon," my father says. "Please, do come in. Lunch is prepared."
I flinch. I hope they remembered that some of us h
ere are human – or still human, a vegetarian at that. We follow them inside and the doors close behind us. The aroma that fills the air smells of freshly baked bread, butter, and something sweet.
"Smells amazing in here," Essence says.
"Yes, very," Sarah agrees.
"What is it?" I ask now wanting the surprise to be spoiled.
"Come and see. Everyone is in the dining room waiting," Kaius responds.
Everyone. I would have smiled, but my attention redirects to the questions I have. They lead us up the golden railed staircase. As everyone continues to walk to the dining room, my eyes lay upon a beautiful painting. It’s the entire family and – myself? I had not noticed the last time I was here. I was too busy finding my way around and running.
"Evan?" my mother, Valencia, calls.
They stand in the doorway of the dining room waiting, but I continue to stare at the painting.
"Beautiful isn't it?" father says joining me.
"Yes,” I reply. "Who painted it? I don’t see a signature."
He stares at the painting and I find him smiling with no response. He looks at me and his head nudges forward slightly.
"I did," I say softly.
"You were always so talented, Evan. It was the last painting you made before--"
"I was sent away," I finish. He flinches and redirects his attention back to the painting nodding.
"Your anger is very much expected. I don't blame you, son."
“I’m not angry, just afraid.”
"Shall we eat and talk about it?"
"Yes."
Without another word, we meet in the dining room where Abel, Bianca, Mike, and even Cedric, sit. The table is covered with a white sheet, and there's baked potatoes, mixed vegetables, biscuits, a huge bowl of minestrone soup, and chocolate cupcakes and cookies. For a species that drinks blood, they sure remember how to cook and bake human food.
"Hope this would suffice," Kaius says as he and Valencia take a seat at the table.
"Hello, Evan,” Abel says as he stands to his feet. “And who might this be?" he asks turning to Essence.
"Essence, meet my uncle, Abel. You know as much about him as I do," I joke.
He chuckles and pats me a welcoming pat on the back.
“He most certainly gets his wit and humor from me I can tell you that much!” he boasts. “It's great to meet you, Essence. I hope you’re hungry. I prepared majority of what you see,” he says with a whisper.
"I'm starving actually," she chuckles.
