I sighed and spent a few minutes debating on whether I should go back out there and try to talk to him. But instead of facing him (yeah, I was being a coward) I dug my phone out of my pocket and fired off a message to Erika asking her where she’d been all afternoon. She should have been accessible. She should have been by my side through that meeting. Erika answered immediately. At home studying.
I stared at the message for a long moment. Had Jared even tried to find her or was she lying to me? I wasn’t sure. Jared didn’t like Erika, like at all, and she loathed him. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d simply ignored his calls and at the same time it wouldn’t have shocked me if he hadn’t even tried to reach her.
God, I hated feeling like this. Lost and confused and sad. Really, really sad. The pack had always seemed so close from the outside looking in. A tight-knit group. But the reality was so different. It was like living in a constant power struggle, never knowing who you could trust and who wanted to watch you crash and burn. I was certain Aidan was up to something with his little plan of spending time with Jared and me, and I knew Jared was up to something. He always was. And I was stuck in the middle, wanting someone I shouldn’t want, and with someone I didn’t want. On top of all that, if Aidan’s plan worked the way he wanted, I would be forced to pass judgment on my dad. As a friend of the pack his betrayal meant I would be issuing a death sentence. The thought of sentencing my father to death was just too much, way too much. No matter how evil he was, he was still my dad. I was still his little girl. Was it completely wrong that I didn’t want to be part of the hunt? Most likely.
Another twenty minutes passed by and the front door finally opened and closed. I heard Jared’s whispered conversation with my mom, too low to really make out what was said. Then his footsteps, clunking up the steps. A knock on a door. “Trevor knows you’re staying here?” Jared asked.
“Um, yeah, you want me to call him?” Marcy asked. She sounded nervous.
“Yes.” Jared didn’t sound happy. I squeezed my eyes shut, pulled in a deep breath, and pushed myself up. Jared didn’t turn around when I opened the door. He stiffened, his neck tensed. “Jade, go wash that smell off of you,” he said, the words clipped, brisk.
I felt sick. Hot and cold and sick. “Is everything okay?” I asked, looking at Marcy. I took a step, and placed a hand on Jared’s back. He flinched and I let my hand fall away. I’m such an ass-hat. “She can stay here if she wants, Jared.”
“Not if her mate hasn’t okayed it, she can’t. I’m not housing her without speaking to him. Jade, go.” His tone was cold, challenging even.
Marcy smiled. It was forced, a little shaky. She mouthed It’s okay and made a shooing gesture at me.
I hesitated for a second, staring at his back, willing him to turn around, but he didn’t. Marcy scrolled through her contacts, and gave me a pointed look before thumbing the screen and bringing the phone to her ear.
I turned away, took the few steps to the bathroom, and let the door click shut behind me, sinking to the floor. In that moment, I hated, hated, being at home. It didn’t feel like home, not anymore. It just felt like one big lie.
I hugged my knees to my chest. I hated feeling like this. Since taking over as alpha female, I’d spent the last few days doing what I thought was right. I had stayed away from everyone, the pack, Aidan … I’d been convincing myself that working with the team was the right thing to do, pretending to be with Jared was the right thing to do. Stay away. Keep them safe. But as I sat in Aidan’s house, listening to his plan, realizing that he needed help, something had dawned on me. I was no better than him. I had condemned him for lying to me, for manipulating me, but really, I was just as guilty. And watching him glare at Jared made me realize that I was hurting him just as badly as he had hurt me.
God, I suck!
By the time I finished scrubbing Aidan’s scent from my body, Marcy was already sleeping. I stood outside her door for a few minutes listening to her soft snores, debating on sneaking in there and hiding until the morning. But I didn’t.
The lights were off in my room when I eased the door open. Jared’s steady breathing came from beside my bed. I listened for a moment, trying to judge if he was really sleeping. I couldn’t tell. I tiptoed across the room and eased myself into bed, trying not to disturb him. His breath hitched. He shuffled around, and I let my head hang over the bed, glancing down at him. “Jared, I know you’re awake. Will you just yell at me already and get it over with?”
He was lying on his back, the comforter pulled to his waist. Moonlight streamed in from the window, basking him in a silvery glow. He didn’t have a shirt on, and his hands were folded behind his head. He sighed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Come on,” I said, hating how raw my voice sounded and how guilty I felt. “This cold shoulder crap is getting old. I know you’re pissed.”
“Pissed is so not what I’m feeling right now, little girl. Not even close.”
I shimmied off the bed, sinking down beside him on the floor. “Then enlighten me.”
He groaned, long and loud. “Go to sleep, Jade. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”
“I can’t sleep knowing you’re pissed off at me.” I inched a bit closer. “What was I supposed to do? Refuse to go? He sent that Tommy guy. He literally had me dragged from school.”
Jared opened his eyes then, and rolled over, propping his head up on an elbow. “You think this is because you were at his house?”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Well, what else could your mood be about?”
“This was your idea.” He waved a hand between us. “You wanted this to be believable. You wanted us to be believable.” His eyes flared bright gold. “His scent was all over you. In your hair. On your neck. What did you do? Trip and fall into him? This may just be a game to you, Jade, but to me, it’s not. So stop jerking me around.”
I felt his words like a slap in the face. Something splintered inside me. It was as if I were being held underwater. The pressure built and built until my insides felt as if they were filled with hairline fractures. Tears — damn tears — filled my eyes. I would have preferred him yelling or telling me off. But this … this hurt. I couldn’t breathe. I gasped for air and it burned through my lungs. There was just so much pressure. Be an alpha. Claim a mate. Stop the cougars. Deal with my dad. Maybe even have him killed. Forget or forgive Aidan. Learn pack laws. Fix the pack. Run the pack with a man that made my body sing and my blood boil and one that I couldn’t trust. Pretend to be in love with Jared without hurting him. I gasped again. The tears stung, brimming in my eyes and spilling over.
“Don’t do that,” he said, brushing a thumb hastily across my cheek. “Don’t make me feel like the asshole here. You were practically panting over him. Do you really think no one noticed?”
“I’m sorry,” I said and hiccupped. “I … I …” I huffed and hiccupped again. I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t want to feel this way about Aidan, but I’m his. He’s mine. I can feel it in my bones.” I pressed my hand to my chest, gripping my shirt in my fist. “I feel it here.”
Jared rolled onto his back and he closed his eyes. Clearly he was done with the conversation. I watched his chest rise and fall for a few breaths, noting the tension, the unevenness of each lungful.
“I’m going to tell him the truth about us, Jared,” I whispered, turning from him and climbing back in bed. I pulled the comforter up to my neck and waited for a response, but when all that followed was another unsteady breath, I continued, “I’m sorry that this situation sucks so much for you. And I’m really sorry that I’m such a crappy fake girlfriend. I won’t blame you if you want to call it quits, but I have to tell him the truth.”
“I’m not going to give up on you, Jade,” he said, his voice thick with emotion that sounded more like anger than anything else. The man didn’t have a warm cell in his body, in that moment, I was sure of it. Anger and hatred always won out with him.
; “You should,” I said, meaning every word. “You really should.” Because you don’t have a chance, I thought, not able to say it out loud.
~ AIDAN ~
I was a wolf and I stood below her window.
I knew I shouldn’t have come here, but after seeing Jade today I needed more. Maybe I was just a sucker for punishment. Yeah, that was probably it. The window was open, just a sliver, and her sweet, sweet scent washed out. She sounded ... sad, angry, frustrated. Her voice was just barely a whisper by the time it reached my ears, just loud enough that I could pick up bits and pieces of the conversation. I shouldn’t have been listening. I shouldn’t have come. And I knew I needed to leave, but I couldn’t.
Maybe it was my guilt that held me in place.
There were many things a wolf could do that wouldn’t actually complete mating, and in the last hour, I had done pretty much all of them.
After everyone had left my house, and I’d been alone with Jade’s tormenting scent, I’d needed a distraction. And I found it in the all too willing arms of Erika. I wasn’t proud of it. Truthfully, I felt more than a little sick about what I’d just done, but even if I felt bad about it, I had still done it.
I had left my house five minutes after Dominic went home and I’d ended up on Erika’s doorstep. I was telling myself it was because I wanted to know why she hadn’t been available for Jade. Erika was her beta and as far as I was concerned there should never, never, be a reason for her not to be reachable when Jade needed her. Dealing with Erika was the one thing I knew I could do. But one thing had led to another and before I knew it, I was in her room with her tearing off my clothes. She had been more than happy to provide her alpha with the relief that I’d needed, and dammit, I’d been more than willing to let her. Her lips, her hands, caressing my entire body was … a short-lived relief, effectively shattered by a text message from Jade.
I couldn’t believe how easy it had been for Erika to lie to Jade — her alpha. She had glanced at the phone and quickly fired off a message: At home studying.
That small interruption had been more than enough to stop everything. I had grabbed my clothes, yanking them on as she tried to convince me to stay.
And now here I was planted on the lawn outside Jade’s house listening as she begged Jared to forgive her.
I’d been telling myself that Jade was probably doing the same things with Jared as I had been doing with Erika. She might not be mated with him yet, but I knew they were sharing a room, and I was sure, her bed.
Jade’s voice rose. I could hear the tears. Damn, I could feel the heartbreak as her voice reached my ears. “I don’t want to feel this way about Aidan, but I’m his. He’s mine. I can feel it in my bones.” She paused and then whispered, “I feel it here.”
Clearly I’d been wrong. So very, very wrong.
I’m his. He’s mine. The words beat at my mind, repeating over and over. My throat started to close up. My heartbeat started to race. The beginning of a growl built in my chest and I fought against my inner-wolf to keep quiet. I started to back away. Self-disgust filled me like a nest of snakes writhing in my gut. My inner-wolf tried to hold me in place, demanding me to go and retrieve her, get her away from Jared, but I fought it. I’d been sure she’d been hiding something from me, but I hadn’t imagined it would be something like this. Not with the way her inner-wolf reacted to Jared. I backed up a little more. I needed to get out of there. I needed to think. I needed to process this. And after a few steps, I pivoted and ran.
I’m such a jackass.
CHAPTER 8
~ JADE ~
I woke up alone. Jared’s bed was gone, the blankets, the pillows, all put away. It was weird. He never picked up anything. Never. His wallet wasn’t on the dresser, neither were his keys. I rolled over, glancing at the clock: 6:08. My heartbeat doubled and a nervous knot yanked tight in my belly.
Panic fluttered through me. I yanked the blankets off. He wouldn’t just leave. He wouldn’t. Not with Dad coming home today, even if I was a crappy fake girlfriend, even if I’d said I was going to tell Aidan the truth. Jared wouldn’t ...
I was out of bed in a flash and just as my feet hit the floor the door swung open. I skidded to a stop. Jared stood in the doorway, a towel cinched low on his hips. His black hair was wet. Beads of water slid down his sculpted chest. My breath hitched. A hot flush rushed to my cheeks and I dropped my head, peeking at him through my lashes. My heartbeat skittered within my chest, and my panic eased slightly.
His nostrils flared, and he shuddered — a little — as he scanned me over. “What’s wrong, kitten?” he asked, his voice husky. He crossed the few steps to me and cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. He searched my face. Whatever he saw there made him smile.
“I thought you left,” I said, hating the tremor in my voice. “I thought you just up and left.”
He frowned. “I told you I’m not going to give up on you.”
“But your stuff?” I flailed a frantic hand toward the dresser and then to his missing bed. Right in that moment I realized something. Jared wasn’t just the leader of my team. He wasn’t just my pretend mate. At some point in the last few days he had become a friend. A person that I could count on.
He smirked and chuckled, clearly enjoying my panic, and knowing him, reading something into it that wasn’t there. “Put it away. You’re always bitching at me to pick up after myself.”
He was looking down at me in a way that was far too personal. His hands fell from my face, dipping to my shoulders. A whole new panic bloomed within my belly. I took a step back, wanting to put some much needed space in between us. Jared’s presence in my life might have started to feel comfortable, but he wasn’t home — he never would be. “Nothing’s changed, Jared,” I said evenly. “I’m going to tell him today.”
He opened his mouth and he looked as if he were about to protest when I heard someone clear their throat and a familiar gruff voice said, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
I’m not ready for this, a voice in my head shrieked. The temperature in the room dropped to freezing. My stomach twisted, my throat closed up. Jared turned and backed up a few steps, and I swivelled and blinked.
“Daddy?” I said. He looked furious. I took a step back, right into Jared. His face was streaked red, his hands balled. His large frame filled the doorway and his jaw started twitching. I’d never seen him like this before. Never.
His clothes were rumpled, his jeans filled with dirt stains. Tired lines littered his eyes. Dad’s lips thinned. “Get some damn clothes on boy!” he shouted, his fists clenching tighter.
A rock hard lump formed in my throat and the door across the hallway swung open. “Mr. Shaw, what’s going on?” Marcy asked. I couldn’t see her past the wall that was my dad. Dad didn’t turn around, didn’t give any indication that he had heard her. His face reddened further and his gaze was fixed on Jared.
“Jeff,” Jared said, coolly. He slipped a possessive hand on my hip. “Nice of you to finally come home.”
Dad took a step into the room. He was a big man, burly and thick, but he had never looked so much like a bear before, snarly, angry. “Don’t test my patience, Jared.”
I brushed Jared’s hand off me and took a step away, my cheeks burning with a flush. “Daddy, we were just ...”
“In the middle of something,” Jared said, cutting me off. He snaked an arm around my waist, and pulled me back against him.
“Let go,” I said, tugging at his hand. His arm was like a vice grip. Maybe it was the decision I’d made last night, but Jared’s hands on me felt more wrong than they ever had before. Even my inner-wolf squirmed and shrunk, wanting away from him.
Act the part! a voice screamed through my head. I stiffened, fighting back the growl that worked its way through my chest, and I softened my smile and batted my eyes. “Daddy, you knew he was living here. I told you. I thought you were happy about it.”
His eyes landed on me then, burning like fire. “And you
also told me you were mated, but you’re not.”
Crap! Crap! Crap! This was so not the plan. I sucked in a breath. He wasn’t supposed to know. We needed him to believe I was mated. Crap! I didn’t know what to say. I sucked in another breath and blurted, “What? He is my mate.”
He stepped closer. “Don’t lie to me, Jade. By now, I’m sure you’ve been told what I am. I can smell it. You haven’t mated. And you’re not going to. Not with him.” His blazing gaze rose, looking over my head. “Now you listen to me closely. Take your hands off my daughter and call the alpha. I want him here, now.” His tone was nothing short of a challenge.
Jared bristled and he growled, long and low, tightening his grip on me. His muscles started to shudder, rippling beneath his skin.
“Mac,” I shouted. “Mac, get back in your room and call Aidan!”
~ AIDAN ~
Wind cut through my fur as I broke into a full run. Her scent was thick in the air, teasing my senses, making my heart race. She yipped, a playful sound, and I set chase. I needed to find her.
From the corner of my eye I saw her dash out of the trees. She skidded to a stop in front of me. I slowed. Stopped. Sunlight streamed through the branches overhead, winking off her midnight black coat. She licked my nose, and rubbed along my side, before sitting on her haunches in front of me. Her body trembled. Her fur receded. My heart stopped. Anticipation clawed through me. If I were human, my palms would have been sweating. Her face started to shift. Her smile, shy, but bright, like the sun and the moon basking me in light.
And then my phone rang.
I groaned, sitting straight up. The phone rang again. I groped at the nightstand, snagging it up. I thumbed the screen, brought the phone to my ear, and said, “Aidan.”
“You need to get to Jade’s, like now.” Marcy’s voice screeched through my groggy brain, and I jerked the phone away, waited for the ringing in my ears to stop before pressing it back in place.
Deadly Mates (Deadly Trilogy) Page 6
