by J. H. Croix
I forgot every promise I made to myself about not letting myself feel vulnerable. Ever again.
That’s why he was dangerous. Even more precarious, I felt as if he would protect me from anything. There was something about the strength he carried, like steel wrapped in velvet. Speaking of steel, I wasn’t just talking about his cock.
I came to a stop in the little circular driveway in front of my house, hearing Henry’s quick yip from the front door as I stepped out of my car. I loved coming home to a dog. Nobody, not even me, could show up at my house without Henry announcing it.
I took a shaky breath, trying and utterly failing at ordering my pulse to slow down and the flutters to stop spinning in my belly. The butterflies completely ignored me.
I wanted to rush away, not even to say good night. That wouldn’t be polite though. Remy had changed my tire and made sure I got home safe. I would never say it aloud, but it meant the world to me to have someone make sure I was okay.
Remy was already stepping out of his truck before I could formulate a plan. I had to plan everything when it came to men. I couldn’t seem to think when it came to him though. I hadn’t been this rattled by desire before. Ever.
When I turned to look at him as he approached, with the soft glow of the light cast from my front porch, my breath caught in my throat. All of a sudden, I was awash in an old memory. Fear scattered through me, leaving me feeling numb and shaky in nothing more than a few seconds.
I was so relieved Remy was here. Scrambling for purchase in my mind, I tried to focus on him. He was tall and strong, and strangely, I didn’t feel the least bit intimidated by him.
I didn’t know what he saw in my face, but in two quick strides, he was in front of me, peering down, those rich green eyes skimming over my face. “What is it? Come on, sweetheart. You look like you saw a ghost.”
Get it together, Rachel. It’s just Remy. You’re safe. Safe, safe, safe…
The word echoed in my mind.
I knew—at the very core of myself—I was perfectly safe with Remy. I didn’t know how I knew, but I did with such certainty, I didn’t overthink it. That meant everything. That’s why he was so treacherous for my sanity. I couldn’t count on anyone to take care of me, other than myself.
But I couldn’t quite be reasonable, not right now. Memory works in strange ways sometimes. It comes at you, flashing out of nowhere, at the strangest times. Called into consciousness by a scent, a time of day, a color, a sound. Or, in this case, a man walking toward me. Once the flash of fear hit me, it dissipated rapidly. Because I felt completely safe. It was so startling, I didn’t know what to think.
Remy took another step closer. My pulse was in an out-and-out revolt against my mind, entirely oppositional and ignoring my attempts to slow it down. My belly clenched and my breath caught in my throat as I looked up at him.
I wanted him to kiss me. My desire was confusing on the heels of my jumbled flashback of fear.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
The low timbre of his voice tugged at my heart and sent a hot shiver skating over the surface of my skin. I swallowed and took a shaky breath, rattled for different reasons.
“I’m fine,” I managed to say, my voice coming out raspy. I felt off-balance, my confused emotions, the past and all of its ghosts colliding in this moment, and not making any sense.
Henry let out a sharp bark, and Remy’s lips curled into a smile, promptly sending my belly into another series of flips. “Henry isn’t going to let anyone sneak up on you, is he?”
He couldn’t have known how much weight his question held and how important it was that Henry absolutely did not let anybody sneak up on me. My throat tightened with emotion—relief, the safety I felt with Remy here, and the regret for the mistakes of my past, all twining together.
“No, he won’t,” I said as I turned away quickly, uncomfortable with how I felt inside. As I took a step, my foot caught on the edge of one of the slate flagstones marking the path to the steps that led to my front door. Remy steadied me, his hand catching one of mine.
He said nothing, and I marveled at the sense of comfort I felt with him. Although I hadn’t spent too much time with him before, our social circles bumped in the small-town world of Willow Brook. I knew him to be quiet and always a gentleman. I’d heard a few women giggle about how damn handsome he was, and about his sexy southern drawl.
It would be difficult not to notice how ridiculously delicious and sexy Remy was. The potency of Remy was obvious simply from being in proximity to him.
Yet, now that I had a little taste of him, now that I’d gotten a little closer than I’d ever imagined I’d let myself get to a man again, it wasn’t just his looks and his voice that were so damn tempting. Rather, it was the way I felt with him, contained in his strength, held within the circle of his protectiveness.
Oh, and more turned on than I had ever been in my life.
I stopped at my door once I cleared the steps onto the small deck at my house, my keys held tight in my grip. Thank God, because I was in such a fog of need since that crazy kiss, I probably wouldn’t have known what I did with them.
Turning the key in the lock, I glanced back to him. “Thank you for seeing me home and for changing my tire.”
“I’ve got your tire in the back of my truck. I’ll repair it tomorrow,” he replied.
Somehow, well, I knew exactly how—I was so damn flustered after that kiss by the side of the road, I hadn’t even asked him what he’d done with my flat tire.
“You don’t…” I began, my words trailing off when he shook his head.
“I’ll take care of it, sweetheart. Give me your number, and I’ll call you when I have it ready tomorrow.”
He had his phone out, and I recited my number, watching while he tapped it into his phone. I didn’t seem to know how to resist anything when it came to Remy. Not kisses, not fixing my tire, not anything.
I felt my own phone buzz in my pocket.
“I texted you. That way you have my number,” he said with a wink.
I simply stared at him, nodding along. He dipped his head, brushing his lips across mine quickly. It was a brief kiss, nothing like the hot, crazy kiss a few minutes ago. Yet, the feel of his lips sent a spiral of heat through me, spinning straight to my core. My lips were tingling as he drew back.
“Good night, Rachel.”
I heard myself say good night, the sound of Henry on the other side of the door nudging me out of my stupor. After I closed the door behind me, I listened to Remy’s footsteps making their way down the stairs.
I fell asleep with him burrowing into my thoughts.
Chapter Six
Rachel
“Hey, I need a favor,” Charlie said, poking her head around my office door.
I looked up at one of my closest friends. “Anything. What’s up?”
I worked at Willow Brook Family Medicine as a medical assistant, and Charlie was one of the doctors at the clinic. Charlie had her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, with a few streaks of purple showing. Charlie’s daughter, Emily, enjoyed dying it, and Charlie let her do whatever she wanted.
I tapped save on the note I’d just finished entering into a patient’s chart. Along with this job, I did backup work at the local hospital. I’d started out here before Charlie moved to town, working for Dr. Johnson, or Doc, as most everyone in town called him. He recruited Charlie because he was getting up there in years and needed the help.
“I just got an emergency call over at the hospital. I’d love it if you could pick Em up at school and give her a ride over to the station. She’s working this afternoon, and she’ll be miserable if she can’t go,” Charlie explained.
“Of course. I just finished up. What time does the bell ring again?”
“Three. She’ll be waiting outside. I’ll text her and let her know you’ll be there. Thanks a million,” Charlie said. “I gotta run, okay?”
“No problem,” I called as she hurried away.
> I only had ten minutes to get over to the high school on time, so I took care of a few more things and took off. In short order, I was pulling up in front of Willow Brook High School. Emily was standing outside, waiting exactly where she needed to be. This wasn’t the first time I’d done backup taxi duty for Charlie. I never minded. In fact, I loved it. Em was a blast. Like most teenagers, she was easier-going with me than she was with her mom.
She waved. Her short dark hair was tipped all over the ends with pink that glinted in the afternoon sunshine. She tossed her backpack in the backseat as she climbed in, glancing over as she adjusted her glasses on her nose.
“Hey, you get car duty today, huh?”
“Sure did.” I waited to move as another car rolled past us to pick up another waiting teen. “All right. You’ve got ten minutes to get me up to speed on everything that happened since last week. What’s up with Aaron?” I asked, referring to her boyfriend.
“Oh, nothing new. I’m trying to decide if I should have sex,” Em replied casually.
I slammed on my brakes when we approached the stop sign. “No!”
Em burst into giggles. “Kidding. Calm down. I told Charlie I wasn’t planning on having sex. She still made me get birth control though. I guess that’s a good thing, right?”
“Ab-so-freakin-lutely. You’re just messing with me, right?” I countered, worried she really was trying to decide if she should have sex.
“Of course. Charlie is way less freaky than you, and she was all-business about the birth control,” Em said with a shrug.
“Because she’s a doctor, and she knows how easy it is to get pregnant,” I said wryly, as I turned onto Main Street in downtown Willow Brook.
Em called Charlie by her name because Charlie was both her aunt and her mother. Em’s mother, also Charlie’s sister, had died from cancer a few years ago. Charlie had adopted Em with her sister’s blessing before she passed away.
“You mean, she’s more mellow about you having sex than I am?”
“Of course she is. She’s all practical about it. She told me she’d rather me be honest with her and let her know, so she gave me a bunch of condoms and made me start birth control. I told her I could do one or the other and she said no. That safe sex wasn’t just not getting pregnant. I’m pretty sure Aaron is a virgin too, though, so I don’t think it’s happening anytime soon.”
I was busy trying not to have my brain explode. Em was a sweet, wayward teen with an attitude. I didn’t even like thinking about her having sex. I silently sighed. Of course, I couldn’t get all judgy. I lost my virginity in high school. But I looked at Em, and I didn’t want her to have sex, even though it was none of my goddamn business really. I decided a change of subject was in order. I knew Charlie had had the straight sex talk with Em because she’d told me. “All right, what else is going on with you and Aaron and whatever?”
“Everything’s fine with me and Aaron. Nothing really exciting. I’m all about being boring. We don’t even sneak cigarettes anymore. I’m not sure what’s worse, smoking or sex.”
“Both,” I said firmly.
Em rolled her eyes as I turned into the drive, slowly approaching the far end of the parking lot at Willow Brook Fire & Rescue. Em had ended up with a job here after Jesse, Charlie’s new husband who happened to be a hotshot firefighter, had set up Em’s community service here, after she got caught smoking under the bleachers at school last year.
Em adored her job and worked here three days after school. I couldn’t help it when my pulse lunged at the sight of Remy’s truck. I’d given Em plenty of rides here and never thought much about who was here when I dropped her off.
Remy had texted me today to let me know he had repaired my tire. Before I left to pick up Em, I had texted him back to tell him I would be stopping by the station. He hadn’t replied yet, so I wondered if he was out and about.
When I climbed out of the car after Em, she looked over with a question in her eyes. “Oh, I had a flat tire last night, and Remy was driving by. He helped me change it. I guess he fixed my flat today too,” I explained.
“Oh cool. Remy’s awesome,” she replied as she snagged her backpack and slung it over her shoulder.
Just the thought of seeing Remy had my body humming. He had planted himself in my thoughts. I must’ve replayed that kiss last night a few too many times already. I followed Em into the station, and she waved over her shoulder as she hurried down the hall toward the front. “Thanks for the ride. I’m due over on the police side today.”
I blew her a kiss. “See you tomorrow afternoon.” Tomorrow was Friday, when Em worked a few hours at the clinic and helped with filing.
I was about halfway down the hall, intending to go up to the front to check with Maisie and see if Remy happened to be around. At that second, the man in question stepped out, flinging a towel over one shoulder. My mouth went dry and heat bloomed from my core throughout my entire body.
Remy did not have a shirt on and his skin glistened with moisture. I presumed he had just taken a shower.
Oh. My. God.
The man was a work of art. His chest and his abs were muscled and cut. He wore a pair of jeans hanging low on his hips, drawing my eyes down to the V muscles that narrowed and disappeared behind the waistband.
Sweet Jesus. I so desperately wanted to see more.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
Remy’s husky drawl snapped me out of my greedy visual exploration of his body.
Whipping my gaze back to his face, I felt my cheeks heat. He didn’t say a word, but I knew he knew I’d just been looking. I wasn’t about to apologize. Remy had to know he was obscenely handsome. He’d been living in Willow Brook long enough for me to know that many women would be happy to use his body as a playground. It was all I could do not to reach out and touch him.
With him simply standing there, shirtless in front of me and his green gaze holding mine, my sex clenched, and I felt the slick heat building between my thighs.
In contrast to Remy’s glory, I was wearing my usual work outfit. I was quite practical and usually wore scrubs. Today’s pair happened to be hot pink with a little bunny on the shoulder. This particular pair was actually a gift from Em. She had declared her mother’s choice of scrubs too boring, along with mine, so she had gotten each of us a variety pack of brightly-colored and decorated scrubs.
My hair was up in a messy ponytail, and I’d had a busy day at work. I also forgot my contacts this morning, so I adjusted my glasses on my nose, feeling self-conscious and frumpy.
Remy was quiet, holding my gaze for a beat before his eyes dropped down and then meandered their way back up. My nipples practically stood up and waved at him.
By the time his eyes met mine again, I didn’t feel frumpy. Not one little bit. The heat contained in his gaze strummed a chord inside of my body. I had completely forgotten why I was there.
“Um, I was just dropping Em off. Charlie had to go to the hospital for an emergency,” I finally said.
Remy nodded, cocking his head to the side. “I got your text.”
“Oh! Wait, you have my tire.”
Oh my God. I sound like a total flake.
Why, oh why, did I need to make it obvious I spaced out? Maybe someday I would learn to keep my thoughts to myself, but clearly, today was not that day.
Remy’s slow grin did funny things to my insides, and I was suddenly worried I’d melt right here in front of him. “Hang on, let me grab a shirt. Your tire’s out back.”
I actually had to bite my tongue to keep from telling him not to put on his shirt. In fact, I was thinking it would be quite all right if Remy never wore a shirt. Ever.
Chapter Seven
Rachel
I might’ve had skid marks on my tongue, but I managed to keep my mouth shut. He turned away quickly, stepping through a doorway immediately to his side. I didn’t know how much time passed, but it wasn’t much when he returned with a black T-shirt covering his glorious chest and a jacket hooked ov
er his fingers. His blond hair was damp, his green eyes standing out with his skin slightly flushed.
Do not think about Remy naked in the shower.
My mind was clearly feeling oppositional and went straight there, sending a jolt of heat through me. I could feel the potency of his presence. He smelled fresh and clean, and I wanted to bury my nose in his chest and breathe him in. I also wanted to kiss him. Fiercely.
I was silent as we walked down the hallway, restless with a jumble of feelings spinning inside me. I knew what I wanted. Remy.
I honestly hadn’t thought I would ever experience desire again. It was such a shock, it threw me off and sliced through my defenses.
I had plenty of reasons, all of them quite good, for steering clear of relationships. I should’ve been having a little chat with myself about now, reminding myself why this was crazy. I was trying, yet there was another voice, a rather loud, opinionated one that I didn’t quite trust.
Trust your gut. You know you feel safe with Remy. He’s not like Bruce. You can’t be alone forever. Well, I guess you can, but not for this reason. That’s just depressing.
We passed through the back area of the station where there was a kitchen and a large hangout area with a television on the wall, clearly dedicated to video games as evidenced by the four guys sitting around bantering about some game. Another television was dark with a guy napping on the couch nearby. Beyond that was a glass encased workout room where several other guys were working out.
I’d been in here before, seeing as I was friends with a number of the firefighters. I tested myself, letting myself stare through the glass where a few perfectly honed, physically fit specimens were lifting weights. My test failed. Completely. My body didn’t even feel anything staring at those guys. I could objectively appreciate their raw, masculine beauty, but nothing more. No zing, no electricity, no naughty heat sliding through my veins.
