by J. H. Croix
I had no idea how Remy felt about me. I knew he shared the same intense desire, and I sensed the intimacy between us. But I didn’t know what it meant for him.
There was a sharp knock at my door and then it swung open. Glancing up, I found Charlie walking into my office. She slipped into the chair across from my desk and cast a teasing smile at me.
“So, who’s Gavin Remy?” she asked.
“Huh?”
“Yeah, that last kid I saw. You know, the cute one with the missing front tooth? He broke his toe on the stairs?”
“Yeah, that was Gavin Stanton,” I said slowly, quickly spinning in my chair and tapping the button to pull up my computer screen again. “I just entered his stuff in…” My words petered out when I realized I had actually entered his name as Gavin Remy.
I didn’t even fight my blush when I looked back at Charlie. “Fine, so I may have gotten his name wrong. Fixing it right now,” I said as I quickly corrected the last name and saved it.
Charlie’s return grin was sly and knowing. “So, how are things with Remy?”
I smiled because I didn’t really feel like hiding it. “They’re great. I don’t know what the hell it means, but I’m trying to do what you said,” I explained, referencing a conversation we had the other day, “and just live in the moment.”
“I gather ‘the moment,’” she said, adding air quotes to the last two words, “involves Remy staying at your house every night now. Now, don’t accuse me of going out of my way to be nosy. You know I have to drive by your house to get to work, so I’ve seen his truck there the last three days straight. You might want to know that I did my reconnaissance and apparently, Remy is a great guy all around on all reports. His parents died, which is really sad, and he’s close with his sister. According to Jesse, he talks to his sister on the phone almost every other day. The guys all think he’s awesome and he’s lined up to take a foreman position soon, if he stays around. I even asked Rex to do a background check. Rex got a little pissy with me and told me I was being nosy. He pointed out that to get the job, Remy had to pass a background check, and he did. Jesse says Remy hasn’t dated anyone since he moved to Willow Brook. So, as far as I’m concerned, you should fall in love and get married. You two would make beautiful babies.”
I almost spit out the sip of coffee I had just taken. Charlie laughed and shrugged. “Sorry, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but you can’t blame me. I have babies on the mind because mine is kicking a lot.”
Snagging a few napkins out of my desk drawer, I wiped up the coffee splattered across my desk and shook my head. “I’ll give you a pass, but yeah, you’re getting ahead of yourself.”
“Well, I want you to have someone. And Remy looks at you like he’s going to eat you up, and it’s totally hot.”
Our conversation was interrupted with a quick knock and my door flinging open. Emily stood there.
“Hey!” Em announced as she strolled into my office.
Charlie turned to look at her with a wide smile. “Hey. Is it my imagination, or are you early?”
Em slipped into the chair beside Charlie, curling her knees up and resting her chin atop them. “Not your imagination. I finished my testing early and passed everything,” she replied. Her following smile was shy.
I leapt up from my chair and raced around the desk to tug her up into a quick hug. “Yay! That’s from me, and Charlie too. Because she’s tired and we don’t want to make her stand up,” I said, as I squeezed Emily tight.
Em had a few rough years between her mom dying, her dad never being around, and moving to Alaska after her grandfather also died. To say the least, she’d been through some transition. She’d been really worried about her school exams and had confided in both Charlie and me about it. She was smart as a whip, and we knew she was going to do fine, if only her anxiety didn’t get in her way.
When I drew back, Em’s eyes were bright with tears. I bit back the urge to be sarcastic. With a friend, I might, but the fact that Em was even letting herself feel any emotion was too damn important for me to comment on it.
Charlie was standing and hugged her with a laugh. “I don’t care what you think, but you’re getting a hug.”
Once the three of us were seated again, Em glanced between us. “Okay, your turn,” she said, looking at me, her gray eyes so like Charlie’s.
“My turn?” I countered.
“Uh-huh. Charlie hasn’t mentioned it, but I’m not blind. I know Remy’s been staying with you. Because I know what truck he drives and I’ve seen it there,” she said with a sly grin.
Charlie burst out laughing. “Trust me, you can’t keep secrets from teenagers.”
My cheeks were flaming red. Dear God. It had never crossed my mind to think about the fact that Em’s job at Willow Brook Fire & Rescue meant she likely knew what every guy who worked there drove.
With a sigh, I shook my head. “No secrets from you, I guess. Well, we might be seeing each other,” I finally said, uncertain how else to explain to a sixteen-year-old that I’d been having crazy, hot sex for the last three nights.
Em knew a bit about my history with Bruce. Not because I had chosen to tell her, but because Charlie had suggested we say something. With them living right down the road from me and passing my house daily, they’d been keeping an eye out if his truck showed up. The other issue was Charlie had come to see me in the hospital. It wasn’t that I wanted to lie and cover anything up, but I’d been embarrassed as hell.
Plus, Bruce’s arrest had been in our town’s local paper. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t found anything out on her own. With my resigned agreement, Charlie had brought Em to see me in the hospital. She’d been a sweetheart and worried about me a lot. I didn’t like to know she worried, but there wasn’t much I could do to stop it.
Since then, she never asked me about guys. I knew she wondered, though, because she was a typical nosy teenager who had questions about everything.
Uncurling her knees, she tapped the toes of her boots against the back of my desk and cocked her head to the side. “I like Remy,” she announced firmly.
“You do?” I asked, unable to keep from smiling.
Charlie nodded vigorously. “So she told me last night. In fact, Em thinks he’s perfect for you.”
Em giggled. “He is. He’s totally a nice guy. He showed me how to do stuff with wheel bearings just last week. He’s really patient and he knows everything. He’s not a creeper, not at all. And I don’t think he’s dated anyone since he moved here last year. If he has, he’s seriously on the down low,” she explained, her eyes widening.
Charlie burst out laughing, right along with me. When I got it under control, I met Em’s eyes. “Well, I’m glad you like him. I do too.”
Her smile faded, and she chewed on the inside of her cheek as she glanced between us. “I hope you like him. Because if he’s spending the night, I’m assuming you’re having sex. Both of you have lectured me about sex. Only have sex with someone you like. Only have sex if you feel comfortable. Don’t have sex if you feel pressured. No matter what, it has to be on your terms,” Em said firmly.
Charlie’s mouth fell open, and she turned to look at Em. “Wow, you really do listen sometimes.”
Em nodded firmly. “Uh, huh. I don’t always do everything you say, but don’t worry, I’m still a virgin,” she said with a giant sigh. At that, Charlie and I laughed again.
“Thank God,” I offered.
Em rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Whatever. After the stuff you went through, I think you deserve a guy like Remy.”
Charlie looked from Em to me and winked. “See, just what I said.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Rachel
The following night, for the first time in four days, Remy wasn’t here. I threw the ball for Henry who dashed off after it. I missed Remy.
You’re being a little ridiculous. You and him are fresh, like really fresh, and you still have no idea if he feels anything even remotely like you do
.
I shook my thoughts away. My mocking voice had quite a lot of practice in the aftermath of Bruce spinning through my life, leaving a trail of wreckage, crushed confidence, and shattered self-worth in his wake.
The only reason Remy wasn’t here was because he was with his crew at a training up in Fairbanks. Apparently, they were going to work with a couple of the other hotshot crews up there, for training for some of the newer crewmembers in a few fire-prone areas in the wilderness.
It wasn’t like he was blowing me off. In fact, he only left this morning after a knee-weakening kiss turned into a quickie on my kitchen counter.
Henry came dashing back, dropping the ball at my feet. After another throw, Henry let out a sharp bark, his fur bristling as he came to a stop at my side. His attention was focused toward the front of the house.
Instantly, the hair on the back of my neck rose and my stomach tightened into a knot, a sense of nausea rising in my throat. I knew without knowing that Bruce was here.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket. I didn’t even want to turn around, but I knew I had to. Henry stayed right beside me. I wanted to cry because I felt like my dog was braver than I was.
Turning, I noticed Bruce’s truck right away. I hadn’t recognized it before because it wasn’t the vehicle he had before he went to jail. Back then, he had an old beater of a truck. This SUV was black with tinted windows. I hated it.
I dialed nine-one-one, lifting the phone to my ear as I remained where I was. I wasn’t going to give Bruce the satisfaction of walking over there and asking him to leave. That’s how Bruce was. He got off on manipulating situations like that. I imagined he would claim I hadn’t even told him to leave.
Swallowing through the tightness in my throat, I ignored the fear beating like wings in my chest, hurting all the bruised places in my heart that I kept hidden away.
Maisie’s familiar voice answered. “Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”
I took a deep breath, trying to speak. Maisie continued before I even managed to get through the gravel in my throat. “Hey Rachel, don’t get all paranoid. Your number just showed in my locator. Is Bruce there?” she asked, her tone calm and somehow soothing.
Staring at his SUV, I finally managed to speak. “Yeah, he’s sitting at the end of my driveway, blocking it.”
“I’m assuming you’re alone because Remy is out in Fairbanks with his crew, right?”
“Uh-huh. Guess I can’t keep anything private, huh?” I tried to laugh and make a joke of it, but all I wanted to do was cry.
“Rex is already on his way, along with backup,” Maisie replied calmly. For the moment, she ignored my failed attempt at humor. “You’re staying on the line with me until he gets there, okay?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t hang up. I don’t think Bruce plans to get out. He’s playing one of his bullshit games where he wants me to come up and tell him to leave. Everything for him is a game,” I said bitterly.
“Of course it is. But you’re fine. Rex should be there in less than a minute. Where’s Henry?”
I reached down to stroke my hand along his back. “He’s right beside me. He’s not happy. He’s never even met Bruce, but somehow he knows he’s not a good guy, even from a distance.”
“Rex said to tell you he’s not coming in with the sirens on. He doesn’t want to give Bruce a chance to take off. This is a clear violation of the restraining order, so he’d like to observe Bruce right there.”
“Good plan. How the hell do you know all that already?”
“We have a chat feature where I type in everything. He was over near your area when you called anyway.”
“Oh, okay. So, how’s your day going?” I asked, searching for something to say other than to stand here in silence and hold onto the phone, as if the phone itself was going to save me.
“It’s okay. I’ll be better when I know Rex is there.”
“He’s here,” I said, the moment I saw the police cruiser appear on the road.
“Stay with me until Rex is out of his car, okay?” Maisie asked.
“You know, you’re kind of bossy for a dispatcher,” I teased. The relief at having Rex here and knowing I wasn’t alone was so immense, I was torn between wanting to burst into tears, or laugh so hard that I lost my breath.
Rex lifted his hand in a wave as he pulled up behind Bruce and climbed out of his car. In a split-second, Bruce gunned it, gravel spitting from his tires. I was surprised Rex had actually gotten out of his car, but I shouldn’t have been. In a matter of seconds, his backup went flying by on the road, hot on Bruce’s heels.
I was surprised Bruce stayed in my driveway as long as he had, knowing he could see me on the phone. But then, Bruce was somehow both wily and stupid. When presented with an opportunity to attempt to establish dominance, he took it, to hell with the potential consequences.
I approached the front of the yard, meeting Rex halfway down my driveway. Henry circled him with soft yips and his tail waving like mad.
Rex stroked his hand over Henry’s head in greeting. “I’m gonna take off after my guy. I got my other guy on the far end of your road, so Bruce isn’t going anywhere. You okay?”
I nodded jerkily, trying to take a deep breath but not getting much air. “Nothing happened, except he parked at the end of my drive. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I thought he was with somebody else.”
“He’s still living with his new girlfriend,” Rex said with a nod. “I’m keeping tabs on him. Guys like him, though, nothing gets to them more than a woman who actually leaves. I already called the D.A. She’s filing charges for a violation of the restraining order. It’s a no-brainer because I saw him here.”
Rex was quiet for a moment, looking to the house to Henry and then to me. “If Remy was in town, I’d tell you to make sure he was around tonight. Even with charges, there’s a damn good chance Bruce’ll bail out tonight.”
I nodded. “I’m supposed to have dinner with Charlie tonight, so I’ll be down there.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Remy
The plane angled in the sky, and I looked out into the distance where Denali stood tall, a sentry in the landscape. The snow line was gradually inching higher on the mountain. It would hold snow on its peak all year long, while the snow on its flanks would rise slightly as it melted during the warmer weather.
I recalled the first time I’d flown out with the crew last autumn. The stunning Alaskan wilderness was mind-blowing—miles and miles and miles of raw beauty. Mountain peaks and ridges, lakes and rivers, swathes of forest, and, closer to the coast, glaciers sparkling ethereal blue. As the plane turned toward Willow Brook, Swan Lake became visible in the distance, glittering under the late afternoon sunshine.
I loved my job. I always had. When I did my firefighter training back in North Carolina, I thrived off the sense of urgency, the sense I was doing something that mattered. My father had been a volunteer firefighter while I was growing up. That was what had originally had me marching down to sign up for the volunteer training right after I turned eighteen. I stayed on as a volunteer through college in western North Carolina. When all was said and done, my college degree wasn’t worth much because I accepted a position immediately as a full-time firefighter.
I enjoyed that for a few years and then wanted to spread my wings into hotshot training. We didn’t have as many wildfires in the East, if only because of the differences in terrain and natural risks. Everything I loved about being a firefighter, combined with my love of the wilderness, sated part of my soul.
For the last three days, our crew joined forces for combination training and working exercises in a few areas within short flight distances from Fairbanks. Wildfires were risky, particularly near the more settled areas. We did a controlled burn and worked on clearing sections to help with management during the summer.
Normally, I didn’t miss anyone when I was away. The old pangs of grief from my parents’ death were ever-present, and I always missed S
hay. But these last three days, Rachel had sashayed through my thoughts whenever I had a minute to think. I fell asleep with her winding through my dreams and woke to her front and center first thing in the morning.
The sight of Denali let me know Willow Brook wasn’t too far away. I hoped I could see Rachel tonight. Yet, things between us were new enough that I didn’t know if that was a given. I hoped like hell it was.
Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I powered it up, wondering if we were close enough to civilization to get reception. A whopping single bar showed, but that was enough for a text.
Hey, I’m landing with the crew shortly. Hoping I can see you tonight. Missed you.
My thumbs hesitated over those last two words, but I typed them anyway. I might not have planned for Rachel to spin into my life, but it didn’t change the fact I wasn’t about to let her go without making sure she knew what she meant to me.
My heart tightened when the plane angled into a turn, and I could see the streets of Willow Brook taking shape ahead, a tiny map from the sky. Willow Brook was about an hour slightly west and north of Anchorage. With the ocean glimmering in the distance, Swan Lake centered smack in the middle of town, and the trees giving way to an opening in the foothills, a tension I hadn’t noticed I was carrying eased slightly.
As our pilot, Fred, lowered the plane slowly with the runway of Willow Brook’s small airport coming into view, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
Hey, of course I’m free tonight. Call me when you land.
That was just enough to set anticipation humming through my body. She didn’t reply to my comment about missing her and then I saw the little bubbles appear on the screen.
Missed you too.
Emotion tightened in my chest. I hadn’t realized I’d been waiting.
After a steaming hot shower in the locker room at the station, I changed into clean jeans and a navy blue T-shirt. I had already called Rachel, planning to head straight to her place after picking up a pizza. She told me she had a busy day at work and hadn’t had time to get groceries to make anything for dinner.
