The day was lonely since most of the servants were prepping for the ball that evening, but that was fine with her. It gave her more time to think about how she was going to attempt to apologize to Gabriel.
She was nowhere near ready to face him; she would rather be run over by a carriage. Her stomach turned into knots the more she thought of it, to the point where she almost vomited. No longer able to dwell on it, she pushed it from her mind.
Minutes turned into hours, and soon there were only two hours left before the Engagement Ball. It was not only a ball; it was a masque, where everyone in attendance was expected to wear a costume and to don their disguises at all times.
Guests had started arriving when Ursa let herself in to help Lian change into her costume gown. “Hello,” Ursa said brightly as she crossed the room to the wardrobe. If Lian had not witnessed her heartache in the garden, she never would have known anything was amiss with her friend. Ursa’s eyes were a dull brown rather than the rich hue of fresh soil, but otherwise, she seemed completely unfazed.
The ache from last night stirred inside her as Lian watched Ursa, and her heart instantly picked up several paces.
No. No, not again.
The muscles in her stomach clenched as she fought to suppress the rising nausea.
“All this time she’s lied to you,” the dark voice purred.
“No!” Lian snarled inside her head. “Ursa is my dearest friend. It doesn’t matter; we can sort it out.”
“But do you really want to?”
She paused. There was nothing she wouldn’t forgive Ursa for, and they had been in plenty of rows before. Though Gabriel was dear to her, he wasn’t worth the price of their friendship. Yet somewhere, locked away in the darkest, most forbidden part of her heart, there remained a stain of doubt and the sting of betrayal. Part of her didn’t want to forgive Ursa.
The dark spirit pounced at her indecision. Her soul was suffocated, driven back to that black cage while it slipped into her body like it was shrugging on a familiar piece of clothing. Her soul gripped the bars; blood ran down her wrists from the cuts in her hands as she looked through the imposter’s eyes and watched Ursa move about, unsuspecting.
Her soul drew breath to yell when a black rope raced out of the dark fog, gagging her. The binds from before returned and latched themselves around her wrists, waist, throat, and legs, forcing her to watch, mute and unable to stop whatever entity now possessing her body.
Ursa helped her out of her nightgown and into her leggings. They felt scratchy against her thighs. She snorted. “You really wore your nightgown all day? What’s gotten into you? You’re not feeling ill again, are you?”
The imposter stared blankly ahead as Ursa slipped the layered shift over her head. “You might say that.” The voice was cold and void of emotion.
Her soul chewed against the gag; it tasted like old dirt and dead flesh.
Ursa adjusted the skirt and began threading the ribbon through the back of the bodice. “Are you sure you’re all right? With the scare you gave us a few days ago…”
Her heart twisted. Something about the fragile tone of Ursa’s voice tugged at her heart. In that moment, Ursa was her friend again, and the genuine worry Lian heard in her voice made her momentarily forget the pain Ursa had caused her. That’s how it had always been between them: love, forgive, and forget.
“I’m fine,” the imposter purred. “More than fine, actually. I am divine.”
Ursa paused in her threading. Lian imagined Ursa biting her lip, as she often did when she was trying to work up the courage to say what was on her mind.
“Don’t let your father or your sister pressure you into going to this ball,” Ursa said in a low voice, as if she was afraid Ana-Elise, or Feron himself, was listening. She never had much of a mind for defying authority. “I can send for a page, and I’m sure they would forgive you if they knew you truly were not feeling up to the occasion.”
Ursa gently placed her hand on Lian’s shoulder, and that one simple motion sent her emotions hurtling back into a state of agony. The imposter jerked her shoulder away as if Ursa had burned it.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Ursa asked.
Lian caught her body’s reflection in the wall mirror. Her eyes widened as she watched her face flicker with shadows. “You know what’s wrong,” the imposter hissed. “How did he taste, Ursa? Like sunshine and spearmint? Because that’s what I tasted.”
The air tingled with an almost electric intensity as they stood there, the imposter with her back to Ursa, whose breathing was becoming increasingly erratic as her realization gave way to shock.
Slowly, the imposter turned to face her friend, spinning smoothly like it was floating. “I couldn’t care less if my father or sister never forgive me for missing a ball.” The last word was spit out like it tasted foul. “What I believe I am more concerned about is if I can ever forgive you so easily for betraying my trust.”
Ursa’s entire body seemed to tremble as she repeatedly shook her head, all the while never removing her eyes from the imposter’s. It broke Lian’s heart, seeing her friend suffering while she was unable to stop it.
“How did you… I never meant… I didn’t want to hurt you!” Ursa shouted.
The imposter licked its lips, as if savoring Ursa’s suffering. “If you never meant to hurt me, you would have been honest with me from the start, like a best friend should be. You should have told me you were in love with him.”
“How could I? He was all you ever spoke of for so long! I knew it would break your heart, so I dared not tell you.”
“No, you wanted him all to yourself.”
“That’s not true!”
“Isn’t it though? Who could blame you, craving a man’s love when your father never gave it to you.”
Ursa paled in shock. “Lian…”
The imposter’s lips curled into a vicious smile. “You’re pathetic. I never had a father, and I turned out all right, didn’t I?” It walked around Ursa and raised its arms, as if daring her to say otherwise.
“What’s wrong with you?” Ursa whispered, her voice warbling on the last word.
The imposter stopped beside her and leaned forward so its lips were right next to Ursa’s ear. “Nothing’s wrong with me. You’re the one who’s about to have a problem. I can’t imagine what Grehn will think once rumors start to spread of the knight’s whore…”
A very audible gasp slipped from Ursa’s lips.
The imposter’s lips brushed Ursa’s ear.
“Stay away from Gabriel.”
Ursa’s eyes went wide as it straightened; its face was cold as stone, as if nothing had happened. “Finish lacing me up and then send for Drenna. Let her know she is to take your place from now on.”
All of the passionate regret drained from Ursa’s face as she slinked toward the door. “You don’t mean it.”
“Oh, believe me, I do.”
Ursa’s mouth gaped open as she struggled for the right words. Something in her broke, and her shoulders sagged as her head bowed. “But you’re my best friend,” she whispered.
Lian fought to keep back angry tears. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because you don’t need her,” purred the dark voice. “You’ll see. All family and friends are good for is betraying you.”
The imposter pinned Ursa with a steely, inhuman stare. “Not anymore.”
Ursa stood there, speechless. Then she bit her lip, nodded her head once, and let herself out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
A single tear rolled down her soul’s cheek as she watched her friend leave, broken and betrayed. “I’m going to kill you. I swear it.”
The dark voice chuckled. “You can’t kill that which is already dead.”
A chill ran over her. Before she could ask, the sensation of falling overwhelmed her, and she was released back into her body with a loud gasp. Her shoulder slammed into the wall as she staggered, breathing hard and blinking rapidly in an effo
rt to make the room stop spinning.
A wretched sob ran up her throat, and she collapsed into a trembling heap on the floor, panting hard. She clutched at her head, fisting balls of hair in her hands.
“Is it real? Is it me?” she whispered, terrified. Her eyes burned, and she squeezed them shut so tightly white spots fired behind her eyelids.
The light grew, turning bright white, and she felt her fear and agony draining out of her as the tremors rocking her bones subsided into small trickles of motion. Her breathing slowed, and a blanket of serenity calmed her heart and mind until she felt more in control of herself again.
Letting out a deep breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding, she exhaled slowly and opened her eyes. Beneath her line of vision, the crystal glimmered with dying embers of pure, white light.
Awestruck, she fingered the crystal, and her vision blurred as a heavy wave of exhaustion crashed into her, so strong it threatened to pull her under. Biting her lip, she regained control and forced her eyes to stay open, examining the stone.
What happened?
A timid knock sounded at the door.
It took her a moment to remember what had happened, and when she did, it slammed into her with the force of an army. “Ursa,” she rasped. Standing, she tripped over to the door and threw it open, startling Drenna.
“I – I was told you would be expecting me from now on,” Drenna said, flushing.
Lian searched the hall behind her, looking for a head of mousy hair but finding only shadows and flickering torches. Her lips pressed into a thin, bloodless line.
Damn you, she thought. I won’t let you tear my life apart, whoever or whatever you are. Mark my words, I will find a way to end this.
For a moment, she hesitated. Part of her wanted to heed Ursa’s advice and skip the ball. But if she did, suspicion would surely be aroused, and more attention was the last thing she needed.
With great reluctance, she gave Drenna a weary, half-hearted smile.
“Please come in,” she said, sounding quite tired. She opened the door wider, and Drenna stepped inside, closing it behind her. It was easier than she expected to focus on the seemingly trivial task of choosing a gown, as it allowed her to forget all that had transpired, even if it were only for a little while. The earlier tension remained on the air, and Drenna was blessedly quiet, except for when asking Lian how she wanted her hair arranged. A half hour later, she too excused herself, leaving Lian all alone in the shadows of her shattered feelings.
Her eyes drooped, and she swayed, wanting nothing more than to fall atop her bed and sleep. Whatever the parasite had done had left her feeling drained and violated. She clutched at the teardrop necklace, which was black as night, as she tried to catch her breath. Oh, Ursa. What have I done?
She shook her head. No, that was not you. You weren’t responsible for that creature’s actions.
Terror gripped her chest. What if that thing was her?
With a growl, she yanked the necklace over her head and shoved it into her vanity drawer. “None of this happened until you came into my life,” she hissed, burying it beneath several blouses. “To hell with you. Go back to whatever wretched owner you came from, and leave me alone!”
Slamming the drawer shut, she leaned against the chest, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes.
When she looked up at her reflection in the mirrored walls of her bedroom, she thought it was smiling, with bottomless, black eyes, but when she blinked all she saw was a haunted girl in a pretty dress.
***
BY THE TIME LIAN and her escort made it to the Grand Ballroom, the festivities were well underway.
The air smelled of wine and spices, the token scents of frivolity and careless airs. One banner for Asilee, complete with a golden crest set against a crimson background, hung from the middle of the ceiling, which was a gigantic fresco depicting the gods’ arrival in Eresea. The painting had been refurbished, restoring the masterpiece to its original glory. It was magnificent. She could almost see the figures moving in streaks of vibrant color, their whimsical expressions coming to life.
The walls were covered in silk running the full spectrum of warm summer hues and lined in freshly picked wildflowers wound into dazzling arrangements. It was beautiful, like being inside a rainbow. Half the names of the colors escaped her, as it had been so long since she had seen any. White candles sat atop tall, spiraling gold columns, shedding soft light on the guests and giving the room a relaxed feel.
The Grand Ballroom was shaped like a rectangle. The shorter ends held a dais where her father, sister, and Alastor sat greeting guests. Four guards stood post behind them, keeping a watchful eye out for threats. Opposite from the dais, across the room, was a refreshment table almost the length of the entire wall, bulging with food, wine, and punch. The kitchen staff was zooming in and out of the side entrance, hastily replacing empty or half-full trays and bottles with fresh food and drink. Most people were already on the dance floor, twirling in a swirl of bright colors and fantastic masks to the light-hearted music of the orchestra. A few people lingered near the food, using it as an excuse to flirt and gossip. Ursa was pouring wine for a young couple. She smiled and bowed respectively, and again Lian marveled at how well Ursa was able to hide her emotions.
When the couple left, Ursa looked up and locked eyes with Lian. The color drained from Ursa’s face, like she might be sick, and she hastily muttered something to Drenna, who was walking by with an empty tray. Drenna nodded and handed the tray to Ursa, who promptly disappeared into the kitchen. Drenna resumed Ursa’s place behind the wine bottles.
Lian stared after Ursa, feeling a twinge of regret that their lifelong friendship had come to this. I have to speak with her. I have to make this right somehow.
“Wait,” Lian commanded, when her escort started to walk toward the dais. When it became clear Ursa wasn’t returning any time soon, Lian shook her head and pried her eyes off the door.
As she surveyed the sea of bobbing heads and twirling bodies, she almost regretted leaving the necklace in her chambers. Despite what she thought it was capable of, she still felt the need to be close to it, to protect it.
It’s all in your head. Look at what it’s done to you, what it’s made you do to your friends and your love. She frowned. To Hesperides with it. I don’t care what happens to it.
She had almost forgotten about the escort at her side, a young knight a few years older than her. “You may proceed,” she told him. She could have sworn he rolled his eyes.
Gathering her courage, they began the long, harrowing descent down the grand staircase. Part of her hoped her mask and elaborate appearance would obscure her identity enough to allow her some peace that evening. Her hair had been pinned up with sparkling diamond starbursts that matched her earrings and necklace. Her mask was shaped like a silver starburst, covering every inch of her face save her chin and eyes.
The dress was pretty in a simple way, with a sweeping neckline that made her small chest appear fuller, and a bodice that reduced her waistline, making her look small and petite. It had no embroidery, only two silk ribbons the same shade as the fabric sewn through the neckline and tied at her shoulders to form straps. The material was soft and surprisingly easy to move in, even if it did wash her out to the point of being blindingly white.
Drenna had first shown Lian a majestic gown of emerald green, which her father had apparently purchased specifically for her to wear to the gala. She had been both overjoyed and awed at actually seeing a color other than black, white, or gray. Then, with a dark look, she remembered the reason why the duke had implemented the color ban in the first place.
“Take it back,” she said. “I refuse. I’ll wear something else.”
Drenna stood there for several long seconds, fumbling over her words. “But the Arch Duke…”
Lian rounded on her. “I don’t care what my father thinks. Find me another dress!”
After Drenna scampered off, Lian had felt a sudden pang o
f guilt at having yelled at the poor girl. She was mentally exhausted, having endured emotional – and spiritual – whiplash for the past few days. She made a mental note to add Drenna to her list of “people she owed an apology.”
She glanced at the mannequin, which now wore the emerald dress originally intended for her.
I’ll bet that dress could fetch a price that could feed a starving family for three months.
After having marveled at its beauty for a few more moments, she had shaken her head in disgust. Was her father out of his mind? Didn’t he care how his citizens would react to the circus going on downstairs? Surely he intended to sell all the fancy decorations and colored outfits after it was all over and put the money toward helping out his people.
A cold chill ran up Lian’s arms. Somehow, she didn’t think that was going to be the case, and the memory of the pregnant woman from the Marketplace resurfaced in her mind.
When Drenna finally returned, Lian almost winced at the dress in her arms. It looked more like a bridal gown than a ball gown, with layers upon layers of flowing pearlesque fabric. Sure enough, it made her look like a ghost since it was only a few shades lighter than her skin and hair, but she had to admit that it somehow suited her.
She blinked, returning to the present, and grew very aware of the increasing ache in the balls of her feet. Though they made her look taller, she was convinced that the spindly white heels she wore would be the death of her, and she had to cling to her escort’s arm more than once to keep from tripping. The knight said nothing and stared straight ahead as they slowly made their way closer to the dais.
Taking one precarious step at a time, she tried standing up straight as best she could without feeling like she would topple over. She thought of how regal her sister always looked, and how she was failing miserably at imitating her; she couldn’t concentrate in those strappy torture devices. A few heads turned to watch her, some bemused, others mocking, but tonight she was past the point of caring, aided by the fact she did not know half of these people anyway.
Veiled Innocence (Book One, The Soul Cycle) Page 12
