by Miley Maine
Not just lust, or like, but real life-changing love.
I just didn’t know what to do about it. And now probably wasn’t the time to contemplate it, with a shit-for-brains criminal lying on my grandfather’s floor moaning, and Loren’s cousin draped all over my couch, still crying on and off.
“Dammit, Jackson. I have a meeting with the mayor right now, but I’ll send over my best officers, and the best detective for that county. How’s that?”
“Pretty good. Just so you know, her mother’s the Senior Senator for Georgia, her dad is the founder and CEO of Stevens Manufacturing. The perp’s wife, of one day, is the daughter of the Attorney General of Georgia, and their uncle works at the Pentagon. Just a head’s up.”
“Aw fuck. Jackson. You bring this shit to my doorstep. The place is going to be crawling with Feds any minute now.”
“Maybe so,” I said. “I’m about to call the family and break the news to them.”
“They don’t know their daughters were kidnapped?”
“Nope. The very rich lead strange lives,” I said. “I’ll have to fill you in the next time we get together.”
“I’m ready to go fishing,” he said.
“I look forward to it,” I said right before hanging up. I nudged Douglas with my foot. “The chief of police here is a great guy. I’m sure you’ll get treated very fairly, for kidnapping the daughter of a member of Congress, and one of the richest men in the world.”
He moaned in response.
I went and sat on the coffee table in front of Loren and Marie. “We need to let your families know what’s going on before they see it on the news, or God forbid, Twitter.”
That got a laugh out of Loren.
“Do you want to call them? Or do you want me to?”
“Oh, I’ll do it,” Loren said. “But thank you for offering.”
“You sure? There’s probably going to be a lot of panic,” I said. I’d only been around Loren’s family for a few days, and I could see the earthquake was going to be coming when they found out that Loren was kidnapped by Marie’s brand new husband, and that they’d both been held at gunpoint.
“Oh there will be a freak out of maximum proportions,” Loren said. “I’m bracing for it.”
Loren got up and went into the bedroom, encouraging Marie to go with her. I sat down at the kitchen table and propped one boot on Douglas’s back, just to remind him that he wasn’t going anywhere, and not to even try.
Loren and Marie were in the room for a good twenty minutes until the sheriff’s deputies arrived and they had to come out to be interviewed. Luckily another set of officers came to arrest Douglas, and get him the hell out of my house. I didn’t want his vile face near Loren for one second longer.
After Douglas was carted off, and while the authorities were interviewing Marie, Loren reported that the entire family was on their way, including her grandmother. She wrinkled up her cute nose. “So, sorry about your peaceful cabin. But it’s not going to be very peaceful once they arrive. They’ve all reached epic hysteria over the phone. I expect it to be worse in person.”
I smiled down at her. She was freaking adorable, even when she was driving me crazy, which she did on a very regular basis. “I’ll be busy with the law enforcement, so don’t worry about me,” I said.
Then she threw her arms around my neck and held on. “Thank you. You saved my cousin. And you saved me.”
I wrapped my arms around her and held on even tighter. This was right where I wanted her to be. Now I just had to figure out a way to tell her that I wanted our fake relationship to become a real one.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Loren
The rest of the day was a total mind fuck and a shit show, all at once. I was questioned by the sheriff’s deputies, a detective, and several FBI agents, including a violent crimes specialist, and a white collar crime specialist, because of Douglas’s varied crimes.
I had been a party to ten million dollars being transferred for an intended ransom. And sadly, I’d been a witness to the death of five men, all because of Douglas. Those men were far from innocent, but they’d been acting on Douglas’s orders, with the promise of hefty payments for kidnapping me and Jackson.
So yeah, that was mind-numbing, and depressing, and exhausting all at once. And then there was Marie, who I felt really sorry for. No one deserved to find out their husband had only been interested in her for her money. She was going to be feeling that particular humiliation for a long time.
Then there were my parents. My mother alternated between scolding and praising. She praised both me and Jackson, and frequently pointed out all the things he’d done right. I didn’t have the energy to tell her he was not my real boyfriend, and I figured my family couldn’t handle another scandal that day, even a low level one.
My aunt was more subdued than I’d ever seen her, and seemed to be focused on making Marie feel better, which was a nice change from the way she usually focused on herself, and on what her friends would think, and what the upper class of Macon, Georgia would think.
Finally, after about five hours, they all packed up and left, law enforcement, family, everyone. By then it was ten p.m. Before my parents’ driver pulled out, I leaned my head against Jackson’s shoulder. “Would you prefer for me to go back with my parents?” I asked.
“Do you want to leave?”
“Not really. But you’re almost a week into your leave, and you haven’t had one single second alone,” I said.
“No. You stay. If you want to.” He lowered his voice. “But the rest of them need to go.”
I pulled the blinds back. “You don’t even need to whisper. They’re all gone now.”
Jackson flopped backward onto the couch. “Oh thank God. My ears are ringing from that many people being here.”
“Yep. Lots of strong personalities included.” I stretched, feeling my joints pop all over my body. “I’m going to bed. I’m happy to sleep on the couch if you want the bed to yourself.”
He sat up. “No. There’s plenty of room in the bed.”
I took him at his word, and we both brushed our teeth, and collapsed into his queen-sized bed and passed out.
I woke up to the bed shaking. I sat up and looked around. Oh. It was another nightmare. Poor Jackson. It was no wonder, after the two days that we’d had. If he’d had a bad dream the night before, after he killed those five men, then I hadn’t known about it. But maybe it took time for it to all catch up with him.
I still hadn’t had a bad dream yet, but I was waiting on it. I’d been lucky that it had been nighttime, and hard to see when those men died.
I’d been so busy giving Jackson a hard time, that I hadn’t stopped to think about what would have happened to me if he hadn’t been around. If he’d left, like I told him to, I might have been killed by the kidnappers, and my parents wouldn’t have even known to look for me. I’d been a real ass, trying to kick him out of a wedding that he hadn’t even wanted to attend. What had I been thinking?
Like he’d instructed me, I got up out of the bed. “Jackson?”
He lay almost perfectly still, and his eyes were closed, but every now and then he jerked. “Loren,” he cried out. His voice was full of anguish. Maybe he’d dreamed that I’d died.
I didn’t want to leave him, so I sat back down on the edge of the bed and waited. Eventually he jerked awake and sat up, panting.
His shirt was soaked with sweat. “Loren?” he asked.
I patted his hand in case touching his back would be too much. “I’m right here.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I should be asking you that.”
“Nightmare,” he said.
“Yeah. You said my name.”
“What else did I say?” he asked.
“Nothing. That was it.”
“I dreamed that you were with my sister when she died.” He rubbed his face with the sheet. “It doesn’t make any sense. You’d have been a toddler when it happened
.”
I had no idea his sister had passed away. “I’m sorry. I knew you had a sister. I didn’t know she wasn’t living.” I didn’t have any siblings, but I’d always heard losing them was devastating. “Was she around my age when she died?”
“Yes. She was in her early twenties.” He got up and went into the bathroom. I heard water running, and then he came out with a fresh shirt on, and a wet cloth that he stuck against his face.
“We don’t have to talk about her,” I said.
“It’s fine. Her name was Addison. She was my little sister.” He sat there for a long time, just breathing.
Did he want me to ask about her? He must want me to, since he’d told me her name. “Was she sick?”
“No.” He exhaled and stuck the cloth to his face again. “She was murdered. By her boyfriend. He was a monster. So she called me for help. I rushed over, but it was too late. He shot her right in front of me.”
“Oh God. I’m so sorry.” I inched closer, wanting to put my arms around him. “Can I touch you?”
“Please.”
I hopped up and sat behind him, wrapping both my arms and legs around him, like a big bear hug from behind. I rested my cheek against his shoulder. “Did she look like you?” I asked.
“Yeah. She had black hair and tan skin, but her eyes were green instead of brown.”
“I bet she was gorgeous.”
“Yeah,” he said. “She still looked like a kid to me. But she was an adult. And she wanted to make her own choices. She just ran into some really fucking bad luck and ended up with a violent scum bag.”
“I am so sorry.” No wonder Jackson was so protective. Not just of me, but of people in general. He’d even tried to save the first guy who attacked him at that shed. And he could have easily killed Douglas several times, but he’d made every effort not to.
Jackson cared about people, and he did it well. Not only was it his career, and his calling to protect people, but he’d tried to protect his little sister, but his efforts didn’t save her. I couldn’t imagine what that had done to him. The grief and the self-blame must have eaten him up inside.
“She was so lucky to have you.”
“I didn’t get there in time,” he said.
“But she knew you were coming. She knew you would come whenever she called. She knew that you loved her like that. Just like I know that you’d come help me if I called you. Even if I’ve been a total dumbass, and done something crazy, like refuse to listen when you try to tell me one of the wedding guests is a psychopath.”
He bowed his head and breathed harshly. “I hope to God she knew that I was coming.”
“She never doubted it.”
“How do you know?” he asked.
I hated to hear the raw pain in his voice. “Because it’s written all over you. If I know it, then as you sister, she definitely did.”
His hand came up to rest on my arm and he straightened up again, leaning his head back closer to mine. “The same goes for you.”
“I know it does.”
“Not just that I’d come rescue you. Not just that I’d show up if you needed me.”
“Then what else?” I asked.
“I love you.” He tugged on my arm until I came to sit in front of him.
“What?” I asked. There’s no way I heard that correctly. “Did you just say that you loved me?”
“Yes I did,” he said. “I want a real relationship, not just a fake one.”
“When did you decide that? And why is this the first time I'm hearing about it?” I asked.
“When that loser Douglas was waving his gun around and pulled the trigger. That’s when I knew.”
“During all that chaos?” I asked.
“Right in the middle of It. He pulled the trigger on purpose, and as soon as the shot blasted out and hit the wall, all I could think about was you. I kept thinking that I was so close to losing you right in front of my own eyes, and it would have ruined me.” He took a long breath. “But I realized I wanted more than just knowing I saved you. I wanted you around for me too. Because I love you.”
Wow. Stunned, I sat there without speaking for a minute. That may have been the most words I’d ever heard Jackson say at one time.
“But there’s no pressure on you to return the interest.” He ran his fingers through my hair that was ratty from riding the four-wheeler yesterday, and then not brushing it out after all the pandemonium of the night. “You’re young. If you want to stay friends, that works for me too. And I will always come if you need me.” He put his big hands on my cheeks. “If I’m not in the country to help you, then I’ll call someone who is.”
I bounced up onto my knees. “Are you insane?”
“What do you mean?”
“Of course I return the interest!” I jumped on top of him, and luckily his reflexes were so fast that he caught me mid air. “I love you too.” I stuck my face in his neck. “So much.”
His arms came up around me, and I started babbling. “I’m really sorry about what I said at the wedding. About you being paranoid. It was awful, and so was the part where I threatened to have you kicked out. I wouldn’t have done it, and I regretted it as soon as I said it.”
I could feel his rumbling laugh in his chest. “I appreciate that. But I had no intention of leaving.” He gave me a half smile.
“I’m glad. I think it’s obvious that I needed you there.”
“You did do pretty good for yourself. I was really impressed at how quickly you got those ropes off,” he said.
“I'll be honest, I was pretty impressed with myself.” I put my hands on his face. I rubbed my palms over the scruff of his beard. “I was trying so hard to be independent that I didn’t consider your perspective.”
“These kinds of disagreements happen to everyone. We can work them out assuming that you want to keep dating.”
“Does this mean you're not my fake boyfriend anymore?” I asked.
“Yep. That’s exactly what it means. I’m your real boyfriend now.”
“I know I’ve been a total jerk at times. But if we’re going to date, I need to know you won’t shut me out again, like you did with the stuff about Douglas in the car. I need you to discuss things with me in the future, not just tell me what to do without an explanation,” I said, hoping we’d learn to understand each other over time.
“I’ll never do that again.” He kissed my nose. “But I need you to really listen to me, and not just dismiss what I say as paranoia.”
“I won’t. I promise,” I said.
I was willing to try anything if it meant that we could try and make this relationship work.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jackson
Once we’d finished talking last night, we both slept hard until eight a.m. Loren rolled into my chest. “Mmm. Warm,” she said.
Without really considering how it would sound to her, I asked her, “Do you think you can handle the military lifestyle long term?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
Shit. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It was just too soon to tell her that. Maybe it was too soon to even know that for sure. But at thirty-six years old, I wasn’t going to change my mind. Loren was it for me. I loved her; she was my ray of sunshine. And I wanted to hold onto her.
I wasn’t sure how a relationship between us would work with my frequent deployments. Some partners enjoyed the time alone, but it drove some crazy, especially once they had kids. Not that I was anywhere close to having kids, and I assumed Loren wanted to wait a long time.
“We talked about having a real relationship. If you want to date me, I’m gone all the time. The Rangers don’t deploy for as long as some units, but we leave frequently. Some partners don’t like it. Some can’t handle it. And some think it’s great to have alone time.”
“I don’t think I’d mind you being gone for work, but I would worry about you,” she said.
“That’s another part of it. My buddy’s wife sa
id the stress of worrying was hard.”
“How often are you in danger?” she asked.
I couldn’t lie to her. “Frequently.”
“How often are you injured?”
“Significantly? Not often. I’ve only been shot twice. I’m sure you’ve seen the scars.” I wasn’t arrogant enough to brag, but I was good at what I did, and if I assessed the mission and found that it was too risky, then I requested more time until I had more intel. So while missions often went to shit in a hurry, just like the one in Romania right before I first met Loren, the missions were not often deadly for any Ranger.
“I’ll worry, but that would be true if you had any high risk job.” She kissed me on the cheek and hopped up. “I need to shower and brush my teeth.”
I pushed the covers off and followed her into the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, I joined her in the shower. The warm water felt amazing. The shower stall was small, but that didn’t matter to me. I was happy to get to squeeze in next to her.
“Let me wash your hair,” I said. I had my charcoal men’s shampoos up here, and I did have a bottle of women’s conditioner that smelled like lavender as well, because my brother had visited with his wife sometime earlier in the year.
With the shampoos, I lathered my hands up and ran them through her hair. She tipped her head back and moaned as I massaged shampoo into her hair. Next, I massaged the conditioner in, making sure to rub it into all of the tangled strands. The feel of her warm, wet body had my cock aching. I hadn’t planned to make this a sexual thing, but my cock was standing at attention, and it was impossible to ignore.
I rinsed her hair, letting all the suds flow down her body, and I moved my hands down to her shoulders, where I rubbed the tight muscles there.
“Wow, that feels good,” she said with a moan. “I knew I carried some stress in my shoulders, but I didn’t realize how much.”
I pressed harder, working my fingers into the knots in around her shoulder blades. As I rubbed, my cock pressed against her backside. My erection wasn’t going anywhere as long as I was around Loren while she was naked. Hell, I usually had an erection when I was around Loren at all.
