“Are you also on rumspringa?” Aaron asked taking a seat beside her.
“Jah. Started last week.”
“Me too,” Aaron smiled causing Becka’s heart to flutter delightfully in her chest. He was even more attractive than she had realized. “Quite interesting, isn’t it? Have you done anything crazy yet?”
Becka laughed shaking her head. “Nee, not yet. We did try on some Englisch clothes though.”
Aaron looked at her dress and quickly looked away. “I’ve always thought you looked pretty in your plain clothes.”
“Denke,” Becka felt the heat color her cheeks and kept her gaze on her lap for a while. “So you work at the dairy farm?”
“Jah. Have since I could walk.”
“Do you enjoy it?”
“When I was younger I don’t think I really did, but the older I become the more I realize it’s more about contributing than enjoyment. It’s often long hours and hard work but it’s nice to know that we provide milk to so many people.”
Becka nodded. She couldn’t relate to that sentiment. She didn’t contribute at all. She was exiled to the farm stall because she was useless at doing anything her mother and schweschders excelled at.
“Are you going on the trip to the city?”
Aaron frowned. “I wasn’t considering it. Why, are you going?”
“Jah. I think we should experience as much as we can before we’re baptized.” Becka could see the hesitancy in his eyes but suddenly wanted nothing more than for him to go on the trip as well. “Come on, it will be fun.”
Aaron shrugged shaking his head. “I don’t know.”
“At least think about it,” Becka urged with a smile. “It’s almost time for me to go. Will I see you at the farm stall this week?”
Aaron gave her a crooked smile, “I think Mamm’s run out of tomatoes and string beans, come to think of it.”
Becka laughed as she stood up. Eva was already waiting for her beside the buggy. “Then I’ll make sure we only have tomatoes in stock.”
She walked away with Aaron’s laughter following her. She had been right all along. He forgot things on purpose just to see her again. She didn’t know how she would go about convincing her mother, but she wanted to go on the trip to the city.
Chapter 4
The following morning Aaron still couldn’t believe how lucky he had been the night before. He hadn’t planned on going to the bonfire but one of his friends insisted it would be fun. It hadn’t been fun at all. There were so many kids, he could barely tell them apart. Some were drinking home brewed beer, and others were making big plans on everything they wanted to experience on their rumspringa.
Aaron had kept to himself. Standing to one side, he had observed as they planned their big trip to the city. Even though almost every person at the bonfire had eagerly agreed to going, Aaron knew few would.
Besides their parents being against it, there were also finances to consider. Some didn’t have the funds to go to the city for the weekend while others might have the funds but not the inclination. As he listened, he realized most were only dreaming of going.
He thought about the girl from the farm stall and wondered about her for probably the hundredth time that week. He was already looking forward to going to the farm stall in a few days to see her again.
He had not expected to see her at the bonfire. He didn’t expect to gather enough courage to finally talk to her. She was all he had hoped for. She was kind and witty and clearly saw through his double visits every week.
A smile curved the corners of Aaron’s mouth as he thought of her again.
Becka Raber.
The name had remained with him all night and when he woke that morning, it had been the first on his mind.
The name suited her, he thought with a smile as he headed outside. It was a crisp and clear morning. There was not even a sign of a cloud visible in the sky. Aaron loved spring, just as he loved going to the farm stall more often because most of the spring vegetables were ready to harvest.
As he walked to the diary he thought about Becka and her excitement when she spoke about the trip to the city.
He hadn’t even considered going on the trip to the city, but now that he knew Becka was likely to go, he couldn’t help but think about going too. He wanted to stay home for his rumspringa, and experience a few things Englisch before he was baptized, and a trip to the city could jeopardize all of that.
Many of his friends, even one of his cousins, had spent a weekend in the city with their friends over rumspringa. He knew for some it was just a holiday before they were baptized, but he wasn’t interested in taking a holiday.
Aaron had more than enough work to simply consider taking a few days off to explore the city. There was nothing in the city he wanted to experience. Not the traffic, not the noise and definitely not the pollution. He had everything he wanted right here in Lancaster County.
He had heard stories about the parties and the clubs and wanted no part of it. He understood that some Amish kids wanted to experience everything they could before vowing to uphold the ordnung, but that had never been him.
Was that Becka?
Or was it simply a matter of curiosity. As he did his morning chores, Aaron wondered about her. She didn’t seem like the kind of person who would enjoy pushing boundaries; in fact she looked like the kind of person who remained firmly behind the line.
Did Becka even realize what would be waiting for her in the city? What some of those kids would do given the chance? Aaron was overwhelmed with a fierce instinct to protect Becka against the unknown. If he went, at least he could keep an eye on her. If that proved unnecessary, perhaps they could spend some time together.
He knew most of the kids would return and be baptized, keeping the memories of their trip to the city safely tucked away, only to be revisited on days they yearned for more freedom. Aaron wasn’t that person and he had a good feeling Becka wasn’t either.
But the restlessness he had seen in her eyes made him realize she would certainly be going.
Aaron finished his chores, helped his mother and weeded their small garden before evening milking. He worked laboriously, focusing on each cow and taking note of the quantity of milk they gave, until all had been milked.
By the time he walked into the house for dinner he knew his decision had been made. He would go to the city but not to experience what it had to offer. He would go to keep an eye on Becka.
He would spend some time with her and get to know her a little better. Perhaps the connection he felt with Becka was more than just a passing interesting.
Perhaps it was much more.
Chapter 5
Becka stepped off the bus, still finding it hard to believe that her parents had said yes. She had asked her mother permission to go to the city and had read the hesitance in her mother’s eyes. She had been certain her parents would say no.
They had called her the following morning, handed her an envelope of spending money and told her that they trusted her enough to go and explore the Englisch word with her peers. She couldn’t help but feel guilty as she said goodbye to them. Her parents were under the impression Becka was only going to the city to experience new things; what they didn’t know was that Becka wanted to find a new life for herself.
She didn’t want to be Amish. She didn’t want to spend her life outside of the mainstream. She wanted to travel, to explore, to experience and, if need be, get hurt and learn from her own mistakes. She did not want to spend the rest of her life tending a farm stall with no stimulation besides the odd tourist that stopped by.
Eva’s parents had refused permission for Eva to join her on the trip but that didn’t bother Becka because she knew that Aaron was going. He had stopped by the farm stall two days before the bus departed to let her know he was coming along.
They had sat across from each other on the bus and every now and then, when Becka felt brave enough, she looked over to find him watching her too. She couldn’t help bu
t wonder why she liked him so much. It was not just that he was attractive, there was something more. A tingle that raced over her skin whenever he smiled at her, a tilt of her tummy when their gaze met.
She followed the others into the youth hostel and was surprised at how clean it was. She had heard horror stories about youth hostels; about the debauchery and dirty sheets, but her room was clean, and she was sharing with only one other girl.
After she had stashed her bags beneath the bed and changed into the Englisch clothes she had brought especially for the trip, she left to meet the others in the common room. There was talk of going to a club or a restaurant, and eventually they decided on a restaurant around the corner.
They walked to the bar as a group, everyone overwhelmed by the tall buildings and Englisch people who dressed more fashionably than those in Lancaster County.
When they arrived at the restaurant, Becka could feel the nerves creeping up on her. Was she really ready for this? She wasn’t happy with her life back home, but this was so much different to what she knew.
She watched a group of Englischers at a table. Two were glancing at their phones while the other two stared into the distance. Didn’t they talk to each other, Becka wondered as she noticed Aaron moving towards her.
“So what do you think?” he asked sliding into the booth beside her.
Becka’s heart skipped a beat. He smelt fresh; like soap and summer wrapped up together. He didn’t wear Englisch clothes like the other boys. The only concession he had made was to leave his hat at the youth hostel. For a moment Becka couldn’t help but wonder if he liked her Englisch clothes.
“It’s… different,” Becka smiled.
“Jah, very different.”
“Beers for everyone!” an older boy called out as he walked over to the table with three beer jugs.
Becka noticed Aaron shaking his head, but he said nothing. The older boys served the beer for everyone before holding up their own glasses. “To rumspringa, to Englischers, to making this trip a trip to remember.”
Becka laughed as the boy spilt beer over his shirt in his eagerness to drink. She carefully lifted her glass and took a small sip. The bitter liquid flooded her mouth and she cringed, putting the glass down again.
Aaron laughed and shook his head, “I take it you don’t like beer?”
Becka shook her head, the bitter taste still lingering in her mouth. “Nee, definitely not.”
“How about I get us some root beer instead.”
“Please,” Becka accepted with a foolish smile. She wanted to try everything but she couldn’t force herself to drink something so despicable.
Aaron slid out of the booth and returned a few minutes later with two root beers, “Here you go.”
Becka accepted the drink gratefully and took a big sip. “Denke, that’s much better.”
Aaron laughed, “Just because everyone does it, doesn’t mean it’s nice.”
“I agree,” Becka said taking another sip. “I didn’t think you’d come on the trip. The other night at the bonfire you seemed hesitant.”
Aaron shrugged, meeting her gaze, “I changed my mind. I don’t have a yearning to experience anything Englisch, but I thought the experience might do me gut.”
Becka nodded, “I want to try everything. I know it sounds horrible, but I’ve dreamed about going on rumspringa for years.”
“It doesn’t sound ridiculous. Many kids dream about going on rumspringa.”
“Jah, but…” Becka hesitated. How could she tell him she didn’t feel comfortable being Amish? How could she tell him she didn’t want to go back, that she didn’t want to be baptized? “Ach, I’m not going to bore you. I like the music.”
Back home they didn’t really listen to music. They sang from the ausband and on the rare occasion that the bishop permitted it, they were allowed to play a fiddle or a banjo. Because it wasn’t often allowed, very few people knew how to play the instruments.
Aaron leaned back in his seat, his arm stretching behind Becka over the booth. “It’s nice.”
It was a smooth rhythm with a deep voice. Becka didn’t know much about music but she liked that the song told a story about a gambler.
More beer arrived at the table and this time Becka frowned. Her root beer wasn’t even half way done yet. Were they planning on getting drunk?
“After this we’re going dancing!” one of the girls called out excitedly. The guys nodded eagerly and Becka knew they weren’t eager to dance at all. They were eager to meet Englisch girls.
She looked at Aaron who was also frowning slightly, “Are you going dancing?”
Aaron shook his head firmly. “Nee. I have no intention of making a fool of myself. I have a better idea. Why don’t we go for a walk instead? See the city, maybe grab something to eat?”
Becka felt a smile curve the corners of her mouth. She had never been asked out on a date before so she couldn’t be sure, but did Aaron Fischer just ask her out? “I’d like that.”
They finished their root beer and stood up. Before anyone could query, Aaron spoke, “We’re going to head back.”
“Boring!” “Spoilsport!” “Dummkopp.” The comments rang out but Becka ignored them as she followed Aaron out the door.
Chapter 6
“It’s smells different,” Becka said as they walked down the busy street.
Aaron nodded taking a deep breath, ‘It’s the pollution from all the cars. The buildings are so tall I think the wind can’t blow all of it away.”
Aaron couldn’t stop himself from looking at her every so often. She was looking at the buildings with the eyes of a child. She looked different in her Englisch clothes; worldlier. Aaron wondered if that was the plan or if it was just coincidental. He had decided against wearing Englisch clothes. What was the use of buying Englisch clothes for only a few days’ use? He had no intention of ever wearing them again so it would just be a waste of money.
“Everyone has phones,” Becka seemed to be thinking out loud. “Did you notice? Almost everyone that we’ve walked past is holding a phone, talking on it or pushing buttons.”
“Jah. Do you want one?” Aaron asked curiously.
“I don’t know. Maybe?” Becka shrugged. “It’s just so different than I imagined. I thought everyone would be friendly, but everyone seems either in a rush or angry.”
Aaron laughed, “My daed says that Englischers rush from one point to another and never truly reach what they’re searching for.”
“That’s sad,” Becka shook her head. “I hope I find what I’m searching for?”
“And what is that?” Aaron stopped and glanced in both directions before taking Becka’s hand to cross the street. When they reached the other side, he didn’t let her hand go. It felt small and warm in his own.
Becka didn’t pull her hand away. She waited a few moments before answering him. “I’m not sure, to be honest. But I know I want more than what I have. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it feels like there is just so much more out there than making jams and quilts.”
Aaron frowned. Not because he didn’t agree but because he could read between the lines. Something in her voice made him realize that Becka was struggling with the decision to remain Amish. He had never even considered living a life than other the one he had been born into. He couldn’t imagine feeling the need to search for more.
He couldn’t help but wonder if it she had somehow been influenced to doubt her roots. The thought of Becka becoming Englisch frightened him. Not only because it would mean losing the chance to explore their connection but also because he knew that, although she didn’t want to admit it, she was Amish by heart.
In the beginning she would be dazzled and intrigued, maybe even happy for a short while, before she started to miss the routine and the plain life. Some Amish flourished as Englischers, but they were ruthless and tough. Becka wasn’t ruthless, she was sweet.
“It’s nice being in the city but I can’t wait to get back home,” Aaron said, hop
ing she would take the bait.
“But why?” she asked, stopping and turning to look at him. She hadn’t yet let go of his hand.
Aaron smiled, “I like my life. I like knowing what each day will bring. I like knowing that everything I do somehow contributes in some way.”
“Everything you do?”
“Jah. If I chop the wood, I know it will bring warmth come winter. If I tend to the chores, I know we’ll have eggs, a horse to draw the buggy and so forth.”
A frown creased her brow as she watched him. “If you look at it like that. But do you really want to do that for the rest of your life?”
Aaron nodded, “Becka, I like my life. I like being Amish. Being Amish means that familye and community and Gott come first. I can’t imagine living in a society where you don’t know your neighbors, where you become estranged from your family. Can you imagine living in a world where you’d rather talk on a phone instead of visiting someone in person? It has to become lonely…”
Becka didn’t say a word as she fell into step with him again. After a while she nodded. “You’re probably right. But the routine, the tediousness of it, sometimes gets to me, you know?”
“Jah, it does. But then I mix things up a bit. Do something different at a different time. Or try something new. Life is only boring if you let it be.” Aaron stopped in front of a small diner and turned to Becka with a smile. “Let’s do something different tonight.”
“Like what?” Becka asked glancing at the diner in confusion.
“Let’s have dessert instead of dinner,” Aaron suggested, feeling playful. Becka wanted to change things up a little and he needed her to realize she could do that without abandoning her religion or her community.
“But…” Becka hesitated even though a mischievous grin spread across her face.
“But what? We’re on holiday, we’re trying new things. I think we should try having dessert instead of dinner. Maybe then we’ll figure out why we have to have dinner in the first place?”
The Amish Voice (Amish Romance) Page 2
