“But then it happened again, and it kept happening, and they kept taking that poor little girl to the doctor, paying him to keep his mouth shut and do what they asked of him. Eventually, the girl spoke up to her mommy, but her mommy shushed her and didn’t want to listen. It was then the girl knew: her parents knew all about what had been happening, and they allowed it. For years, they let it happen, knowing their youngest angel had torn the wings off their oldest, but they didn’t care.”
My hands curled into fists, my jaw grinding. If she’d give me a name, or an address, I’d take care of them. I would take care of those fuckers with no hesitation whatsoever, rid the world of their putrid filth.
“Eventually, the parents decided it was too much of a hassle to keep taking her to the doctor, and putting her on any kind of birth control was never discussed. Mommy and daddy decided to go big or go home, and unfortunately for the girl, they went big. The doctor made it so she could never get pregnant, and listening to her parents’ wishes, he made it so there would always be a scar there to remind her of it, as if this was all because of her. Because she was too pretty, too perfect. How could anyone look upon her and not want to have her?”
Fuck. So the pills were a part of this, only in that she didn’t need them. Now I felt like a grade-A douchebag, but it wasn’t like I’d known. If I would’ve known all of this, I never would’ve brought it up, never would’ve gotten those for her… I never would’ve touched her without getting her explicit consent.
“One day, when the other angel was out of the house, she sat in her room, thinking about it. All of the memories, all of the nights that were stolen, innocence lost…” Lola paused, frowning, no longer grinning like a madwoman. “It became too much. Something inside the girl snapped, and she went down to the kitchen, found the sharpest knife she could, and cut her mother’s throat while she was having a drink after dinner. And then the girl found her father in his study and stabbed him in the heart, again and again until he was all red, until daddy didn’t open his eyes again.
“The girl knew she should wait for her brother to come back, so she could give him his just desserts, but her nerves got the best of her,” Lola said. “She ran. She packed up a single bag and ran away, never wanting to go back to that house, never wanting to relive the horrors she’d gone through. She swore to herself that day she would do whatever she could to make sure no other girl was hurt like she was. Long story short: she was trying for the electric chair until the night she happened to kill a mob boss’s son.”
Her last sentence was spoken flippantly, but no one in the room laughed. Even Maddox’s expression had changed the deeper into the story Lola had gotten. Not a single one of us said anything, though I was sure that was mostly because no one knew what to say.
This girl… she was so much more shattered than any of us could’ve ever known. After hearing that story, how could any of us truly hate her for what she did to Mario? After going through what she did, none of us could judge her, because none of us knew what that was like.
My childhood had been spent learning and becoming a part of this family, but hers had been spent being abused by her brother and being lugged to the doctor, given abortions and, finally, being sterilized.
“I told you,” Lola spoke, straining against the rope holding her back, “I wasn’t made for happy endings. I went from the electric chair to the mob—or mafia, or whatever the fuck you guys are—but you know what?” She chuckled to herself, shaking her head once. “I’m fine with it. Mostly. Lately, I just… it’s like everything decided to remind me of that time, and I’d done my best to push it all away, you know? Pretend it doesn’t exist. You can’t feel bad about something that never happened.”
I understood what she meant, but at the same time, ignoring her past would only lead to more outbursts like the ones she’d had today, and if she wanted to stay, if she wanted to live, that couldn’t happen. It needed to stop.
Out of everyone, Tony was the one who spoke up first, “The police never found you?”
She rolled her eyes, as if that was the stupidest question ever. “Obviously not. I don’t think I’d be here if they did.” Her smartass retort made Maddox smirk, but the moment I saw it, Maddox forced it to turn into a scowl. “Money probably swept it all under the rug, anyway.”
Breathing out evenly, trying to calm myself down, I spoke, “So that means…” I couldn’t say it; I couldn’t say it, because Maddox beat me to it.
“Your brother is still out there,” Maddox growled out. “Still alive and walking around on two feet.” His eyes clouded over, his half-shaven and tattooed head tilting down as he added, “We should change that.”
Everyone in the room nodded along with him, agreeing whole-heartedly.
Lola laughed. “I didn’t tell you that story so you could be my knights in shining armor—” Clearly, because knights would never tie up their maiden or claim to own her like a pet, which my family had. “I didn’t tell you this to get your pity. I… I don’t know why I told you.”
I knew why. Because I’d all but forced her to, and after her recent freak-outs, it had become more than obvious something was indeed bothering her. Little did I know what it was. Her past… it was a horrible thing, not something I’d wish upon anyone. It was impossible not to gaze at Lola in a new light, and whether it was sympathy or pity in my heart, I couldn’t say.
It didn’t matter. Before Lola could say anything else, I grabbed my brother’s sleeve and tugged him out of the room, lifting up a hand to the others, telling them to stay there. Stay there and watch her.
Out in the hall, with the door firmly shut, I met my brother’s dark stare. Maddox didn’t appear too thrilled, which meant, for all his talk and bravado, for all his anger toward Lola, a part of him cared about her.
“I swear to fucking God,” he hissed out, his expression darkening, “I’m literally going to behead that motherfucker.”
His words were akin to how I felt and what I wanted to do, but at the same time, we had to be smart about this. “We don’t even know who he is, and after her story, I doubt she’ll want to tell us.”
“So we look into it,” he said, baring his teeth at me. “I don’t care if it takes a week, or a month, or a fucking year—I want to rip that fucker apart limb by limb.” His hands were clenched at his sides, telling me just how serious he was.
And he was, definitely. It wouldn’t be the first person my brother had torn apart.
I was slow to nod and say, “I agree. I don’t want him alive, no matter where he is or what he’s doing.” Lifting a hand to my face, I absentmindedly rubbed my chin. Lola was clearly still affected by the memory of her brother and her parents and what they did; might as well sweep the gameboard clean and make it so no one from her past could ever hurt her again.
Maybe even that doctor should be found… doing what he did, that wasn’t right, either.
“I know she’s on thin ice when it comes to our family,” I said, to which Maddox lifted a black brow, as if asking, you don’t fucking say? “But I think… I think she deserves something, something to show her she’s not just—”
“Expendable?” Maddox offered. “Bullet-fodder, as our father called her? Our bitch to use whenever and however we like?”
Again, I glared at him. “Yes, all that. I don’t want her to think of us as she would her parents.”
My brother rolled his eyes. “What, then?”
I pulled out my phone, checking the time. It was just early enough, I might be able to put in the order today. “I have something in mind,” I said, and then I walked away to make the call, leaving Maddox near the door. We would not untie Lola until we were sure she was calmed down, until we were certain she wouldn’t flip out again.
The man answered after a few rings, “Hello?” His voice was low, dangerous. I didn’t often like dealing with Fang, mostly because he was a brand of crazy a few notches above Maddox—and yes, it was possible—but you had to do what you had to do.
&nbs
p; “It’s Sylvester,” I said, leaning against the wall a good ways down the hallway.
He waited a moment before muttering, “What do you want?”
“I need you to make me something.”
“What?” When I told him what I wanted, what I wanted it to look like, and for him to make it as soon as possible, Fang said, “Give me a week. It’ll take me a while to make the mold.” Before I could say anything more, he hung up.
Hopefully Lola would like what I was getting her, hopefully this little present would help her realize that we were not like her family. As long as she gave her all to us, we could give our all to her.
Chapter Sixteen – Lola
The days passed. I’d like to say they passed in a blur, but they didn’t. They most certainly passed in the slowest possible way, which, frankly, was irritating to little ole me. Ever since that day I had my little freak-out, it was like everyone was tiptoeing around me.
Tiptoeing. Like they thought Lola Harding was fucking fragile, or some other kind of nonsense.
I would be the first to admit how surprised I was that they didn’t kill me, though. I mean, I did raise that mirror shard at them before turning it on myself—and then there was the random dude I’d beaten up before being picked up by the police.
Oh, and then there was me running out of that club while Carter and Newton were in the back talking about me.
Shit, and me having a little freak-out in the club while we were looking for Maddox, too.
Okay, okay, so, yeah… I’d been losing it, a bit. Didn’t know why all of a sudden I felt like I was regressing, but I needed to cut the shit out. Pull myself up by my bootstraps and dust myself off.
You know, I didn’t even know what the fuck a bootstrap was, but I was pretty sure people said that.
They all knew the truth now, after I’d told them that story. The Lucianos knew the truth about me, about what made me the deliciously depraved and semi-crazy girl I was today. Some might be relieved for them to know the truth—but me? Eh, I wasn’t like that. I would rather keep everything tucked away inside than confess my horrible past to them.
I didn’t want sympathy. I didn’t want their fucking pity or anything like that. I just… I didn’t know what I wanted, and that was something annoying in and of itself, you know? Like, come on, Lola, how hard was it to know how you felt deep down?
Hard, apparently.
I liked this crazy family more than I should, which was why I wasn’t going to ask them about why they didn’t kill me, why they’d taken the time to restrain me when I’d lost it and fix up my hands.
I bet, just like my little stint beating that guy up, they weren’t going to tell Daddy Luciano about it. Of course, don’t ask me how they were going to explain what happened in that bathroom.
That had been what I’d thought, but after a few days, the bathroom had been miraculously fixed. New mirror, no shards anywhere to be seen, the blood that had dropped from my injured hands cleaned up, the whole thing generally spotless.
My hands took longer to heal up, which made me pretty useless. I didn’t know what they told Daddy Luciano, but I had no jobs during that time. I’d gotten that gig at the club, just like he wanted, and the club didn’t officially open until next month—although there was some pre-opening thing that I’d have to sing at, but that wasn’t for two weeks yet. Until then, I literally couldn’t do anything other than rest up and wait for my hands to heal.
It was almost unbearable, how slow time crawled.
And the guys? Oh, the guys spent time with me, but I did notice a marked difference in them. They were more careful around me, as if they’d thought I’d shatter if they pushed too hard. Even Maddox wasn’t as grumpy or as angry as he usually was. Dicks didn’t find their way inside me at the rate they did in the past. Viper and Mike still took turns watching me, and Tony made it a habit to stop over every so often, just to see me.
All in all, I wanted to roll my eyes at it. At them. At how they were acting. Some girls might be thankful for a switch in demeanor, but me? Come the fuck on. I didn’t want them to be kind, didn’t ask them to be my saviors. I wanted to revel in their chaos until the day I died; was that too much to ask?
I guess so.
With my hands fucked up, I couldn’t play the piano. I couldn’t really do anything besides watch TV and wish things could go back to normal, so that’s what I did.
At least, that’s what I did until eight days passed from my freak-out session. My hands were scabbed up, no longer needing bandages on them to keep the wounds from bleeding all over the place. Out of all of them, my palm hurt the most, but I supposed that was because it was the deepest cut. I’d held onto that mirror shard like it was my lifeline.
Or… my deathline? Yeah, I didn’t think that was a word, but it fit better than lifeline did.
I currently sat on the couch, my legs tucked under me, watching whatever stupid show was on TV. The news had gotten boring since the Night Slayer hadn’t claimed any recent victims—a result of me being stuck inside this house—and I’d grown tired of hearing the celebrity gossip.
I wanted to go out and make someone bleed. I wanted to… I wanted to let everything go, but this family would never let me, because now I was one of them. At least until they decided I’d made enough use of myself.
It was early afternoon, so Mike was with me. His large frame slouched near me on the couch. Things had gotten a bit more relaxed when it came to Viper and Mike, at least. They didn’t hover on the outskirts of whatever room I was in, watching me like a hawk. They still watched, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t so creepy.
“What’s your favorite TV show, Mike?” I asked, leaning back as I shot him a look.
His long brown hair was pulled into a low and loose ponytail, a few of the shorter strands having escaped and now framed his face. His hazel eyes were on the TV until I’d spoken, and then those pretty orbs darted to me. He didn’t answer, sticking to his silence, as usual.
He was cute, I supposed, even though I wasn’t usually a fan of long hair on a man. I thought about scooting closer to him and taking that ponytail out, running my hands through that hair and giving him a wild look—he’d totally look like a sexy lumberjack—but with the scabs on my hands, I knew it was best to save a move like that for later.
Just when I was going to make a comment about Mike’s silence, for I did enjoy teasing him about it, his phone went off, and he picked it up, saying nothing as he listened to whoever was on the other line.
I’d admit, I was curious. Mostly because how the hell could you have a phone call when one of the people taking part in the phone call didn’t talk?
Mike hung up shortly, stuffing his phone back into his pocket as he got to his feet, towering over me on the couch. Wide and strong, a few inches over six feet tall; he was literally like a giant. Climbing him might be fun.
“Dude,” I whispered, trying to lean to see the TV around him, “has anyone ever told you that you make a better door than a window?” I chuckled. “I bet, because you’re so big, you probably always get in the way—”
For the first time in a while, Mike opened his mouth and said, “Come on.” He said nothing else, however, as he turned away from me and headed out of the room, clearly wanting me to follow him.
That was odd. So odd I had to get up and trail after him. I found him walking in the hall, skipping to his side within moments, giving him a smile as I nudged him in the elbow. “What’s going on? There a party in the house I don’t know about?” Hah, as if. I didn’t think the Lucianos ever partied. Maddox? Sure, it was obvious he knew how to party. But Sylvester and Big Daddy? I didn’t think so.
Mike only grunted at me, and I laughed.
We ended up going to the room where the piano was, and my heart sank a little when I saw its big, black frame, but then I realized the room was anything but vacant. Sylvester and Maddox were there, as was Viper and Tony. The whole gang, so to speak. The whole gang, minus Daddy Luciano and that Roman
and Carter guy. I was sure there were more of them, but those had been the only people I’d met while here, so far.
Sylvester wore a suit, as he usually did, its fabric a dark grey while his undershirt was a sheer black. No tie today, and I saw the top button near his throat was undone. His blonde hair wasn’t slicked back for once, its tresses falling over his forehead and his blue eyes.
Beside him, Maddox stood, his arms crossed. He didn’t appear too happy, but that was just Maddox. He wore a black shirt with its sleeves rolled up, showing off the tattoos on his arms. The side of his head had recently been shaved, the thick tattoos there for all to see. The other half of his head, with hair black as night, had been trimmed. Though he’d been on better behavior lately, those black eyes still looked as if they wanted to kill me.
Viper stood near the window, holding his tattooed hands before his stomach. Those hazel eyes darted to me the moment Mike and I walked into the room, telling me something, but I couldn’t tell what that something was.
Tony was the only one smiling at me, dimples on his cheeks. Compared to the gods of darkness around him, Tony looked a little geeky, but he was still somehow able to hold his own amongst them, his green eyes alive with emotion as he grinned at me.
It was only after studying each of them that I saw a box resting on the back of the piano. Not even a foot wide, a few inches tall, all white, all around. Was that… was that for me? My heart did something funny then; the last time Sylvester had gotten me something, it’d sent me off the edge. Those fucking birth control pills.
But this… this was obviously something else.
“Uh,” I spoke, glancing between everyone. “What’s this?”
Shadowed Heart: A Dark Reverse Harem Romance (A Death So Sweet Book 1) Page 22
