Dai returns to our cave with some mako fillets and hands out strips of shark meat. I have no appetite, and I really don’t like shark, but I make myself eat several bites, since I’m the leader now.
Kalli calls to Ree and Thom, who stop their sad work to join us.
:What is this, anyway?: Thom asks as he takes a strip from Dai.
:Shark,: Dai replies.
:Hey, it’s nice to take a bite out of one of them for a change.:
We all smile at Thom’s joke. I appreciate the effort he’s making to cheer us up.
When we finish with our simple meal, Thom tells me, :We’re pretty much done back there.:
:All right. Would you like to say something? You knew him best.:
Thom grimaces. :I’m not so good with words.:
:You’ll do fine.:
We move to the back of the cave and see that they’ve piled some rocks on Kyel’s body. Someone, maybe Ree, made a K on top of the pile with several white shells.
:He’d want me to keep this short,: Thom says, :so I will. Kyel was one of the toughest, bravest guys I’ve ever known. In a fight, he’d always have my back. I’m going to miss you, K-man. I hope someone’s got your back, wherever you are now.:
:Can I say something?: Bria asks.
:You bet.: Thom nods to her encouragingly.
:I’m alive right now because of Kyel. I can’t replace him, but I will do my best to be a useful member of this group. I…I’m never going to forget him.:
Penn looks up from the pile of rocks, a muscle ticking in his cheek. :I gotta say something, too. I know I screwed up, and Kyel’s dead because of me. I realize you guys may want to toss me out because of what I did, and I won’t blame you.:
Penn looks at Thom. :I’m sorry. I didn’t think any of us would die when I mined that boat. I…I just wanted to make them pay for what they did to Sara.:
:That’s right, you didn’t think,: Thom says angrily, and he starts across the cave toward Penn.
Tobin and Ree grab Thom’s shoulders. He lets them hold him back from Penn—for the moment, anyway.
:We’ll vote tonight on whether or not Penn gets to stay with us,: I say, hoping I sound more confident than I feel. :But the only way this group is going to survive is if we can depend on one another. If we vote to let Penn stay, you all are going to have to forgive him for what he did.:
I look straight at Penn. :And you need to think about whether you can live by our decisions. Kyel was strong enough to do that. He gave up on attacking the Marine Guard vessel when we voted against that plan.:
I want to add, And you didn’t, and now Kyel’s gone, and they’re stuck with me trying to lead them.
I suck in a deep breath. :All right, it’s time we headed out.:
I look at Kyel’s rough grave a final time. I wonder how many more of us we may leave behind in lonely sea caves like this one.
Wish me luck, I think to Kyel. I’m just beginning to understand what a hard job you had.
As we leave the cave and start swimming in our travel formation, I look back at the people who follow me. I think I know what Kyel would say. I have to take this job one day at a time. My goal for now is to keep everyone alive until nightfall.
WE TRAVEL STEADILY for three hours, and then the dolphins sense a Marine Guard vessel approaching. We have enough warning to hide under a rock overhang until the ship passes. Before the sun starts to set, Dai and Ton discover the wreck of a tugboat that’s in good enough shape to protect us from predators.
After Tobin checks Penn’s and Ree’s wounds, we eat on the deck of the old tug. Kalli gathered some wakame, which actually tastes pretty decent combined with the lobsters we caught scuttling around down in the bilge. Still, I’m too worried about Penn to have much of an appetite.
:All right,: I say tiredly when we finish eating. :Let’s get this meeting over with. I guess we need to vote on whether or not Penn should stay in this group.:
I glance at Penn. He’s trying to look like he doesn’t care what we decide, but I sense that he’s scared to death. He’s had all afternoon to think about trying to survive on his own. I consider everything I’ve learned so far about Penn, and I know how I’ll vote.
When no one says anything, I realize that my companions are waiting for me to begin. I sit up straighter and hope I can find the right words. :I think Penn made a mistake, but I vote to let him stay with us. He held his own in our fight this morning, and we all saw how hard he fought to keep Sara alive.:
I look at Penn. :I believe that you are brave and loyal. If you can be loyal to us, I know you’ll be a valuable member of this team.:
We go around the circle, and each person votes. Bria, Robry, and Kalli vote in favor of letting Penn remain with us. Then it’s Ree’s turn. :You put us all in danger, and Kyel died because of you. I vote no,: she says stonily.
Thom is next. :No,: he says, his gaze smoldering as he stares at Penn.
Lena gives Penn a long look. :I know you loved Sara, but you shouldn’t have risked our lives. I vote yes, but if you go against the group again, I’ll say no next time.:
:I agree with Lena,: Tobin says. :I saw how hard you fought to save Sara. I vote yes for now.:
:You’re too much of a hothead. You’ll put us in danger again. I vote no,: Dai says flatly.
I let go the breath I’d been holding, and Penn relaxes as well. :That’s six votes to three,: I tell him. :Which means you can stay with us. Think about what we said tonight; and those of you who voted no need to remember that most of us want him to stay.:
I pause and make an effort to lighten my tone. :There’s one more change I think you’re going to like. We won’t take turns keeping watch all night long anymore. The pod will stay near us. Dolphins sleep with one half of their brains awake, and I know they’ll give us plenty of warning if they sense a big predator nearby. We’re going to be traveling hard for the next several weeks, and we need all the rest we can get.:
Kalli grins at me. :That’s an outstanding change. Now I know why I voted to make you boss.:
:Right.: I smile back at her, feeling awkward. :Well, this meeting is over. Let’s get some sleep. We’ll leave right after sunrise tomorrow.:
I stop Thom with a private send as the others leave. :Can you deal with the way this turned out?:
Thom turns to face me. :I’m never going to like Penn, but I won’t cause trouble, if that’s what you’re asking.:
:Thank you, and I’m so sorry about Kyel.:
:So am I. He was my best friend since I can remember,: Thom says, a bleak look in his eyes, and then he swims away.
I see Lena, Kalli, and Ree go off together, and Robry and Bria. Suddenly I feel like I’m Freak Girl back in school. Sighing, I go to say good night to the dolphins. Their happiness at seeing me cheers me up a little.
When Tobin approaches us, Kona, Ricca, Mali, Halia, and Sokya dart in circles around him, and Mariah looks on tolerantly.
:I noticed that Kona had a cut on her tail,: Tobin says. :Do you want me to look at it?:
:That’d be great. I’ve been worrying that maybe it needs stitches.:
I call Kona. Tobin puts his hands gently about her tail, his expression thoughtful as he looks at her wound. I can see why the dolphins like him. There’s something very comforting about being around Tobin.
:I don’t think it’s deep enough to need stitches,: Tobin says. :I saw that you put some ointment on it earlier.:
:It’s an antiseptic cream my mother created that seems to help dolphins heal faster. For now, I guess we’ll just keep an eye on her.:
Tobin’s dolphin partner, Mali, crowds in close, thrusting her head under his arm.
:She’s jealous. I think she’s got a crush on you,: I tease him. :In fact, all the girls in the pod seem to really like you.:
Tobin laughs at that, but he blushes, too. :It’s nice to know I have some fans. I think they’re pretty amazing, too.:
:How’s Bria holding up?:
Tobin turns away from the d
olphins. :She’s much happier since we met up with you. Some tough things have happened, but she really likes you and Robry, and she loves the dolphins.:
:She has a real gift for working with them.:
:She’s not the only one with gifts. Nere, I hope you know that you did fine today.: Tobin’s gaze is warm as he looks at me. :I’m happy you helped convince everyone to keep Penn.:
:Thanks,: I reply. Gazing back at Tobin, I wish he’d put his arms around me. I ache inside over Kyel and sweet Pani, and I need a hug.
:I’d be happy to give you a hug,: Dai says, breaking in on my thoughts. :If you wait for him to make a move, you’re going to have gray hair.:
:Stay out of my head!: I twist around to find Dai hovering nearby, that familiar mocking expression on his face. Tobin looks from Dai to me, and the warmth in his eyes fades.
:Guess I’ll go find my hammock now,: he says quietly, and moments later, he’s slipped away.
:Look, there are some basic rules to being a telepath,: I hurl at Dai, :and I’m tired of you breaking them all the time!:
:Who said there are rules?:
:My mother taught me that you only read thoughts sent to you. You’ve got to stop reading my surface mind. It’s rude.:
:My father didn’t teach me any such thing. He taught me that telepathy is a weapon, and I have every right to use it when I want to win a fight.:
:But there’s no fight here.:
Dai moves closer, his mocking expression vanished. Instead, there’s this serious look in his dark eyes that makes my heart thud.
:Nere, you don’t really get it, do you? He likes you, and I like you, but you don’t know yet who you like. That’s our fight and I’m going to make sure I win it.:
How arrogant can he get? I cross my arms. :I don’t know what you’re talking about.:
:Keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel better.: His ironic smile is back. :Tobin’s right, you know. You’re doing fine as a leader, even though I think it’s a mistake to keep Penn around.:
A chill steals over me when I remember Dai asking Kyel if he should execute Penn.
:Would you have killed him if Kyel had ordered you to?:
Dai searches my face. :I don’t need to read your mind to know you’d be more comfortable around me if I said no, but I want to give you the truth. I would have done it. He could have gotten us all killed, and therefore his life was ours to take. That’s how it works in the world I come from.:
There it is again, the strange, flat note I hear in his tone when he talks about his past.
:Can you tell me more about that world?:
:Maybe, but not tonight. You’re almost asleep floating there. It’s time for our new leader to get some rest.:
He places both hands on my shoulders. I think he’s about to turn me around to send me back to the tug and my hammock, but first he dips his head. Before I can push him away, he kisses me. I find myself leaning in to the kiss even while my mind is screaming, This is a big mistake!
Just when I’m about to shove him away, Dai raises his head.
I glance at the tugboat. I really hope no one inside just saw what Dai did. :Don’t do that again,: I tell him fiercely.
:I can’t promise you that, but I can promise I won’t do it again tonight. I just wanted to make sure you dream about me.: His words are smug, but his eyes are wistful.
I wish I could think up some crushing comment, but I’m too shaken. Instead, I whirl away from him and head for the tugboat. After checking to make sure that everyone but Dai is settled for the night, I pull my hammock from my seapack and find a spot to tie it near the rest of the girls, who are already sleeping.
As I stare up at the dark ceiling of the wreck, I find myself touching my lips. I wish I could just fall asleep, but Dai made that impossible. Every bit of me seems wide awake and tingling. I can’t help thinking of my first and only kiss with Cam, and how different it was than Dai’s. Cam never made me feel confused and furious all at once.
I remember what Ree told me, that I should just have fun with Dai. I’m not sure I can do that. Dai may drive me crazy, but already I care about him.
WE HEAD OFF AT FIRST LIGHT. I ask Mariah to have two dolphins scout ahead of us. Every time I give the group an order, I feel like I’m pretending to be Kyel. Dai sends me amused looks, which doesn’t help matters any. As we swim along, instead of watching out for trouble, I find myself thinking about his kiss and what he said to me last night.
Was he right when he said Tobin likes me? I feel so comfortable and happy when I’m around him. Was Dai telling the truth about his own feelings? I feel anything but comfortable or secure around Dai. He’s amazing looking, but I don’t really care about that. I think it’s his aloneness that gets to me. I know all about being lonely. Plus, I still miss Cam so much, but I know I’ll probably never see him again. I try to push all thoughts of Tobin and Dai—and Cam—out of my mind, but it isn’t easy.
Midday, we eat and rest in a big kelp forest. There we help Kalli harvest some kelp we’ll eat later. We spread out while we cut the fronds. I cut my share and tie them to my seapack. Then I let myself relax and drift with the current through the towering stems. I admire a big red, black, and white sheepshead fish I spot feeding on sea urchins.
Suddenly, I hear Lena give a mental scream.
:Lena, what is it? Where are you?: I shout, but she doesn’t reply.
:I think she’s just east of me,: Robry tells us quickly. :I’ll go check on her.:
:Be careful!: I frantically push my way through the kelp to reach them both. Could Lena have come face-to-face with a shark?
:It’s okay, Nere,: Robry tells me. :I found her, and she’s all right.:
A long minute later, I find Lena and Robry floating together in the kelp. Lena’s face is paper white, and I’m pretty sure she’s been crying. Dai arrives right after me, his expression fierce and his speargun raised and ready for trouble.
:Are you all right?: I ask Lena.
:I…I saw something big and brown with dark eyes, and it charged right toward me,: Lena tells me with a quaver in her mental voice. :Then there were three of them, darting and swimming all around me.:
Dai lowers his speargun and looks disgusted. :You just ran into some curious sea lions.:
:They startled me.:
:You’d have to hit a sea lion on the head before it would be a danger to you.:
:I didn’t know that,: Lena says angrily, but I can tell she’s crying again.
:Well, you should have. I’m getting sick and tired of looking after a bunch of sea newbies who don’t know a shark from a sea lion.:
:Then maybe you should just leave!: Lena yells at him.
:Hey, both of you, cool it,: I say before Lena can say anything else. I know Dai’s frustrated with our group, and we can’t afford to lose him.
:Lena, Dai just raced here willing to take on a shark to save you.:
:Thank you,: she says sulkily.
I turn to Dai. :And you should be easier on her. We’re all scared and on edge down here. You’ve lived in the sea for a long time, but it’s new to most of us. Even sea lions can be terrifying if they startle you.:
:Then you should have been better prepared for this,: Dai says.
:I totally agree with you,: I say, feeling furious all over again at my own parents, :but some of us weren’t, and it’s not our fault.:
:Well, don’t scream like that if you see a sea lion again,: he says abruptly to Lena, :or I might shoot you myself.: With that, he flips around and vanishes into the kelp.
:God, he may be gorgeous,: Lena says, rubbing her arms, :but I don’t know whether or not to take him seriously when he says stuff like that.:
:I think Dai just has a weird sense of humor. Are you okay?:
:Yeah, I’m fine. I guess the sea lions freaked me out.: She starts to give me the sullen look I know so well, and then her face crumples.
:No, I’m not okay,: she admits with a sob. :I hate it down here. I’m scared e
very minute that some Marine Guard diver is going to shoot me, or that a shark is going to tear me apart.:
She’s crying so hard, I sling my speargun and put an arm around her. I expect her to shove me away, but instead she leans her head on my shoulder and cries even harder. :I just want to go home.:
:Um, Robry, could you tell everyone that we’re going to rest here a little longer?: I ask him.
:Sure,: he says, looking very relieved to get away from a crying girl.
I rub Lena’s shoulder awkwardly. :I’m sorry my parents did this to you. I’m sorry they did this to me.:
:I know it’s not your fault,: Lena raises her head and says with a sniff. :It’s just been easier to be angry at you and your mother than at my own parents.:
As I look into her face, I find myself blurting out, :Why did you stop being my friend?:
Lena sighs. :When I turned ten, I found out what your parents did to me. You know I’ve always hated having weak eyes and weak lungs, and being so different from everyone else.:
:And then you learned that my family was the reason why you were so different,: I say, starting to understand.
:I couldn’t stand to be around the sea after that. I tried to get you to spend time with me in town, but you always wanted to go off in a boat with Cam or to help your mom train the dolphins. I missed you, but I knew I only had a few years left on land. After a while, I got tired of missing you. It was easier to be mad instead.:
:I probably would’ve felt the same way.: My throat tightens.
:So, after that, I decided to do everything I could to fit in at school,: Lena continues. :I never got very far with those stuck-up town girls.:
:But in the end, you made the boys like you.:
:I did.: Lena nods with satisfaction. :And I’m going to make Tobin like me.:
:But I think Thom likes you. You should see the way he looks at you sometimes.:
:He’s just a big clumsy idiot.:
:He’s not an idiot. He’s very brave and very sweet.:
:If he’s so great, you go for him.:
:I don’t want to go for anyone.:
:Well, I do. I like Tobin, and don’t forget it. Now, oh great leader, I think we have to find some more of these disgusting kelp fronds you ordered us to cut.:
The Neptune Project Page 17
