by Lis, Heidi
Copyright © 2015 by Heidi Lis
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Editing by: Emma Mack of Tink’s Typos
Interior design by Cassy Roop of Pink Ink Designs (http://www.pinkinkdesigns.com)
To Never Giving Up On Your Dreams!
I’VE WAITED FOR THIS opportunity for so long knowing tonight is the night, I’ve been on edge all day. All is in order, I’ve planned my escape enlisting the help of my best friend who had my car in secret, waiting. Fully gassed and hidden down the street, the keys to my future are tucked safely in my duffle bag under my bed. Sitting in the dark, I’m barely breathing, knowing he will be home soon. Trying to calm my nerves, I take several deep breaths, knowing if he suspects anything I’m in trouble, I need this plan to work.
Hearing his car pull up, I can only pray he is alone like I’ve anticipated. It’s typical for him to come home with an associate or two, but Thursday nights is his weekly meeting night. The one night he meets with his colleagues and then returns home alone. Yet another reason I picked tonight to plan my escape. I would have left earlier, but he had one of his guys hanging around the house until he returned home. Evil bastard that he is.
“Izzabella,” He calls searching for me.
It’s the first thing he says whenever he gets home. And every day, it’s a spike to my heart. Little did I know his angel eyes hid the demon that lurks inside. Counting to ten, I’m waiting… quietly. Slipping under the bed, I hang onto my bag silently praying I can pull this off. He keeps calling my name, his footsteps are becoming louder and more frantic. The more manic he becomes, the more terrified I feel. Please God, just let him get in his car and leave looking for me. This is what I’ve counted on, him home alone, not finding me he will get in his car leaving to look for me. The instant he pulls out of the driveway, I’ll run like hell. I’ll only have a few minutes until one of his guys shows up at the house. Hearing the garage door open, I can still hear him yelling out my name. I’m still under my bed, sweating and shaking so bad I can hardly control my body.
Steading my breath, I slowly count back from one hundred.
Hearing his car pull away, I bolt from under the bed, dragging my bag as it gets tangled in one of the bed legs. Shouting I’m frantic knowing I have to be quick. One last pull and my bag comes flying out knocking over the things on my nightstand. Not even taking the time to straighten things up. Instead, I run straight for the back door.
Running toward my car down the darkened path I’m trembling with fear and excitement. Fear knowing what I’m about to do and the consequences I will face if he catches me. With trembling fingers, I search for my keys hidden in my bag. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I’m finding it hard to breathe. Finally grabbing the keys it takes two hands to steady them enough for my car to roar to life. I eye all of the things I slowly packed into it, I see my friend made sure I had all that I needed for now.
Wiping away the last of my sorrows, like it is sweat on my forehead, it’s time for me to leave. To search for my new beginning, find my way in life. A life without fear, a life without hurting, a life without him. Driving away from his house, I only look ahead, I’ll never look back.
WAKING UP THIS MORNING, I feel refreshed even though I once again slept on the hard floor. The little two-bedroom house I'm renting is filled with whatever I could fit in my car. I left the rest back in Iowa. No furniture, no bedroom set, no television. I only needed the essentials.
I guess leaving the way I did is both a blessing and a curse. All I can say in my defense is that leaving on bad terms was not what I’d wanted, but I needed a fresh start.
I knew that my new beginning needed to be far away from all the things that reminded me of my past, my failures. I sure as hell didn’t need to stay there just for my many mistakes to be rubbed in my face on a daily basis. My family, who now hates me were only one small part of the things better left behind. The simple fact is that the stories and the gossip about me were spreading like wildfire, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Fucking rumor mill. So yes, the only answer was to leave.
I headed as far West as I could go and somehow ended up in Washington State. I suppose a number of reasons had me coming this far. For one, I couldn’t get any further. Secondly, it turned out to be beyond beautiful, like God’s country. The pretty, evergreen trees that line the streets and nearby mountains just took my breath away. The moment I arrived and basked in my new surroundings I thought yes, this is a good place to start afresh.
My new beginning, my fresh start, is in Monroe, Washington. It’s a small town, with a great feel to it. Being only about thirty minutes from Seattle, with easy access to the main roads, it has a small-town vibe and just seems right. You know the feeling you get when you step out in the fresh air and take a big breath, only to smile as you breathe it out? Well, that’s how I’m feeling. The peace that I'm feeling right now is the most peaceful I have felt for quite some time.
Upon entering this beautiful town, the first thing I needed to look for was a place to live. I had saved some money, but not enough to get by on for very long. I knew that once I found a place to live I would need to find a job. Slowly I could buy some furniture to furnish my new home. None of my new things would be brand-new or designer. Nope. They would be second hand, and they would be the best things I have ever bought because I would have done it all on my own.
Yesterday, while driving around with the paper, I found a few possibilities and made some phone calls. I was hoping I could find a place right away so I could stop wasting money on hotels and takeout food. God, I thought, to sleep in a bed that was my own, to cook a meal even, would feel like heaven. A week on the road, staying in motels and living on fast food was getting old fast.
It didn’t take me long. By my third phone call I had found the one. It was a small two-bedroom house in need of repairs, but it had a homey feel to it and was located on a quiet street. The homeowner, a little old lady named Evelyn Kennedy, was even willing to let me plant some flowers out front if I wanted to. Yep, it just got better and better. I knew I was going to love Evelyn.
The little blue house had a wrap-around porch and shutters that needed painting due to wear and tear. The once black shutters were worn out and like me just needed some ‘TLC’ to put them back to perfect. The rest of the house was much the same; in need of a few repairs and some love. The living room did have a wood burning fireplace and that alone could have sold it to me. I planned on doing some reading in front of it while eating late-night snacks. There is nothing better than the smell of a fire. The kitchen, although small, was lovely. Its outdated appliances were on the brink of dying, but they managed to put a tiny smile on my face. The bathroom needed some deep cleaning and I decided that would be my top priority once I got some cleaning supplies.
As I walked around the place Mrs. Kennedy watched me a little too closely for comfort. I figured she was most likely wondering why I did not have much to my name and even more likely why I was alone. Like hell, was I going to repeat my sad story. Yeah, not likely to happen anytime soon. Evelyn Kennedy could wonder all she liked.
At the end of the tour she touched my cheek, giving me a warm smile. “My dear, I want you to rent my house. I think you could brighten up this old place. Paint, plant and make it your home. Maybe you cou
ld cheer each other up.”
I had no idea how to respond, so I just stared at her.
Thankfully she seemed to understand the reason for my silence. “No worries, my dear. Anytime you need anything you just give me a call.”
Finally finding my voice I thanked her, took out the exact amount of cash that would cover my first rent payment, and practically shoved it in her hands. For a second she looked stunned, but she recovered fast and repeated her offer that I could call her anytime I needed anything, and with that, she went on her merry way.
By the time I’d unpacked and gotten over the fact that I actually had a house, I laid out my blankets and pillow and crashed. My time on the road knocked the hell out of me. The added mental stress of my escape from hell was weighing heavily on my shoulders as well. Being alone felt great, and yet I had never felt more lonely in my life. I knew that I had found peace, a new beginning, so why did I feel so unsure of myself? Life could be so fucking confusing at times. I had given up trying to figure it out long ago, but for a few moments, as I drifted into sleep, I wondered if I would ever feel sure of anything again.
But that was last night. Today I’m feeling a bit refreshed. I’m ready to make a go of things. Even so, I jumped when my phone rings. Luckily, it’s just Kara calling to check up on me.
She’s my best friend back in Iowa, and it sucked to leave her, but she understood. She always did when it came to me. Hell, she even encouraged me to get away. She once told me to run for the hills and find some hot biker to ride into the wind with. That’s my Kara, the ever loving, hot biker chick who I happen to share a love of hot biker guys with. It all started when we discovered them in the sex filled books we liked reading. Damn girl made me laugh out loud the way she went on about them. I miss her like crazy.
After we finish our chat, I take notice of my empty cupboards. Ah hell, I need to get showered and get some groceries. I need to get today’s newspaper as well so that I can start job hunting. The rent has set me back some, and unless I plan on starving by the end of my third month out here, I need to find a job.
As soon as I’ve showered, I pile my hair on top of my head and throw on some makeup. Next, I get my jeans and tank top on, and then I’m out the door. Smiling as I walk down the walkway to my car. This is the first time I have smiled a genuine smile in what feels like forever.
While driving down the street I take a good look at my new neighbors. All seems well and quiet until I get to the corner. I come to a stop because I see four Harley-Davidson’s parked in the driveway. This makes me smile even wider because Kara would totally love the sight of all these bikes. Shaking my head, I laugh as I notice three huge men coming out of the house. Oh, Sweet Jesus! I try not to look obvious, but seeing gigantic, delicious male specimens walking out of a house will stop traffic any day of the week.
Oh yeah. Bikers. Damn, not only do they look like a stereotypical biker should look, they are hot as holy hell. I so have to call Kara later. She will have me bringing my new neighbors hot meals in order to introduce myself. Better yet, she might move out here as well. It wouldn’t be for me either; it would be for the Harleys down the street from me. Shit, all this smiling is making my cheeks hurt.
Driving away, I hear the rumbling of the bikes as they start to life. Damn! I will have to keep driving by here and checking out my new neighbors.
Welcome to the neighborhood, Izzy.
THE NEXT FEW DAYS go by fast. I’m slowly getting some furniture in the house and some food to stock my cupboards. I have yet to find a job, but that’s okay. I’m getting a chance to get settled into my new life. I found some awesome flowers at the store, so I’m ready to head out and plant them in the front yard. My lovely landlord suggested I could dress the place up with flowers. I can honestly say that Mrs. Kennedy is the sweetest old lady I have ever met. All four feet seven inches of her, I just wanted to hug her to death. My display of gratitude would probably crush this sweet petite woman.
Knee deep in dirt and flowers I hum along to Muse, my favorite band in my library. It’s a beautiful day, and the morning rain shower has been just what the ground needed.
I’m so absorbed in my planting that I don’t realize I have company until a slight movement catches my eye and startles the hell out of me. Of course, I calm down when I see that I have been snuck up on by a sweet-faced little girl of maybe six or seven, dressed in jeans with a cute blouse and boots up to her knees. Her look is adorable, but eye-raising. It’s like she’s trying to look older than she is.
I give her a smile.
She smiles right back.
Okay. I guess I’m going to need to talk first. Keeping my tone friendly and non-threatening, I greet her. “Hi, I’m sorry I didn’t see anyone standing there.”
“Hi, I like your flowers.” She is eyeing my planted flowers, smiling from ear to ear.
“Thank you,” I reply, getting a little dazzled by her big and happy brown eyes. “I think they will brighten up the yard. Do you live around here?”
“Yes, I live down the street.”
“Oh, my name is Izzy, what is yours?” I raised my eyes to look at her. ‘Down the street huh?’
“My name is Eve.” She sways back and forth in her boots, and looks down at them like she’s suddenly shy. “Can I help you plant your flowers? I don’t get to do plant stuff at home. My daddy doesn't get into flowers and stuff.”
My curiosity peaks. “What about your momma?”
Her smile drops away, and she winces like it’s a sore subject, and I want to take my question back.
Shit. What do I say? Great, Izzy, you make this cute, little girl sad and you have no idea how to fix it. Say something. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, it’s okay. My momma isn’t around much. I live with my daddy. I... I should go. Nice meeting you Izzy.”
I can’t stand the sight of her apparent sadness, her smile replaced with a frown, so I blurt out. “Eve, maybe tomorrow you can stop by and help me? Ask your dad if that would be alright?”
Her eyes get wide with excitement. “Awesome that’s great. I’d love to. My daddy will be happy to hear a pretty lady moved down the street from us.”
I burst out laughing.
Okay. That last part is not quite what I was expecting. I force back a chuckle. “Oh. Well. Just make sure he knows you’re here so he won’t get worried.” The last thing, I need, is an angry dad at me right now. And, just in case her daddy is one of those Harley riding men, I really don’t need to piss him off.
“I sure will. Bye Izzy, it was nice to meet you.” She waves her hand and starts walking away.
Gosh, what a cute and sweet little girl. I wipe my hands on my jeans and wave right back. “Bye Eve, see you after school?” I assume she’s coming from school based on her having a backpack hanging off her shoulder.
Suddenly she stops and turns. “Please don’t plant anymore. Wait for me, okay?” She eyes the unplanted flowers on the ground by my feet.
“No problem sweetheart, I’ll save you plenty of flowers and dirt to dig up.”
She strolls down the street, and I watch her. I am making sure she gets home okay. Yep, that’s all. I’m not waiting to see which home she goes to. Okay, that’s a lie. I’m totally watching to see which house it is.
As she passes house after house, I can feel my heart start to race. Sure enough, she walks right to the end of the street and enters the house that had the Harley’s parked in its driveway earlier today. “Oh, Shit.” Huh, well that is interesting.
****
JUST LIKE CLOCKWORK the next day a jubilant and excited Eve comes skipping along into my yard. I timed it so that I’d be out here at the exact same time as yesterday.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so excited to help you,” she gushes with that radiant smile of hers back in place. “This is awesome. I told my daddy all about you and how I was helping you make your yard beautiful.”
She carries on talking a mile a minute and I can’t help wonder w
hen she last saw her mother. Eve’s more than excited, it’s like she never gets any fun girl-time. I wonder if she ever spends time with any females, I find it sad and unnerving.
Finally, she stops to catch her breath and I finally get a chance to speak. “Eve, I’m so glad you’re here and eager to help me. How did I get so lucky to get such a great helper and neighbor?” I wink down at her smiling face.
Nodding back at me, she’s smiling from ear to ear. “That’s me; I am a good helper. My daddy says so.”
Gosh, what a sweetheart. It warms my heart to hear her talking about her daddy with such happiness. He seems like a great dad. I can’t help myself; I move the hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear.
“I bet he does, let’s get to work.” Her smile is infectious.
We spend the better part of the next two hours working as a team. I dig the holes; Eve puts in the flowers and we cover them back up. We laugh and chat as we work, getting to know each other.
I find out she lives with her dad, and her mom is hardly a presence in her life. It instantly makes me mad and sad. This little girl is like the daughter I never got to have. I still want a baby but with the nightmare I just escaped from, it is the last thing on my mind. Hell, from what I had learned, the possibility of my body carrying a child is close to zero. He took that from me.
Eve pulls me out of my dark thoughts with her excitement. “Izzy, I am all dirty, but hey, look at our flower garden! We put together the nicest yard on the street. My daddy said he would drive by later and look at our hard work.”
I focus my attention on the patch of garden we’ve been working on. She’s right; it does look fantastic. Her dad driving by, now that has my attention.
“What does your dad do?” I ask while removing a few yellowed leaves from the otherwise perfect flowers. Don’t sound too interested Izzy.
Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she smudges a dirt streak up her cheek. It’s adorable. “He owns a shop in town.”
