I shook my head. “I don’t think I can.”
He caught both of my hands and I didn’t pull away. “You have to.” He brought my hands up to his lips and kissed them. “There’s something else you need to know, Will. It has to do with why your sister wanted you to be with me.”
“What? What now?”
“Your sister came home one night drunk. She was a crying mess. After she threw up all over herself, she got so belligerent, she admitted to not being able to have children again. She cried all night about not being able to give me a child of my own.”
“And this has what to do with me?”
“You’re a smart girl, Willow. Think about it.”
“She wanted me to be a surrogate or something? Do you have any idea how ridiculously insane you sound?”
“That would have been too easy for your sister. She doesn’t want you to carry her baby; she wants to take away yours.”
My mouth dropped when it instantly hit me like a ton of bricks. “It’s not possible. You can’t get pregnant any time of month. The average woman is only fertile for forty eight hours.”
“Two days, right? Yeah, all it took was for you to complain to her about having your period. I guess you talked to her about it ruining some plans you had a while back. Even I could get a calendar and look up when you should be ovulating.”
I was already crying. That was taking revenge to a whole different level. “Why would she want me to have your child? That’s disgusting!”
He sat down on the carpet flooring and put his hands over his face. “Willow, you’re twins. The baby would share the same DNA as if it were her own. She wanted you to get pregnant and then she was going to try to get custody. With your parents being against you, she knew she had a chance of winning. They see you as a threat. Right now, your parents are all about comforting Ivy. They’re going to do whatever it takes to make her happy, since we allegedly stabbed her in the back.”
“It’s the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of. How could she have known I’d sleep with you? Who in the hell would even think they could pull off something like this? Did you think you would just knock me up and steal my kid?” I picked up a piece of packing tape while backing away and threw it towards him. “How could you use me, Stosh? How could you rip out my heart like you did?”
I was confused and destroyed. If I had a gun, I could have shot them both.
“She said she knew it would work. I didn’t ask her any questions, but somehow she was sure. I wish you knew how much I can’t stand her. When she woke up after her drunken confession, I told her only half of what she’d admitted. I knew when the time came; I’d be able to use the knowledge I had against her. Look, I get that you hate me right now. I know I fucked up, but I’m going to make it right. I’ll wait for you; as long as it takes. I have a plan.”
He pulled me into a hug I didn’t respond to. I just stood there frozen in place. “Is that all you came to say, because I still feel like I’m missing a big part of the puzzle? Granted, learning my sister thought she could knock me up and then steal my baby was a hell of thing to hear.”
I took a couple steps back and leaned against the counter.
He walked over, and with a fractured expression, came to a stop beside me. “You wouldn’t have listened if I tried to call.”
He was right.
“So, you’re heading back tonight?”
“Unless you want me to stay?” He didn’t look up when he said it.
More than anything in the world, I felt like I had nowhere to turn to. I was going through all of it alone, not to mention I wanted nothing to do with this madness. “I still can’t wrap my head around my sister’s ridiculous plan. I’m not pregnant and even if I were, I don’t think I would have told either of you.”
“Did you get your period?”
“No! It’s not… What’s today’s date?” Suddenly, I felt as if I’d been kicked in the stomach.
“The fifth.”
“Oh God! This can’t be happening. You have to leave!” I walked over to my front door and opened it, waiting for him to exit.
He stood in the kitchen, adamant on remaining. “There’s a chance isn’t there?”
I shook my head and shut the door since he obviously wasn’t going anywhere. This wasn’t happening to me. It couldn’t be happening. I had a future ahead of me I’d worked my whole life for. We’d spent two nights together. Sure, we hadn’t used protection, but it was impossible for my sister to know my schedule like she was claiming, unless she’d been calculating it for months. God, I wondered how many times I had complained about being on my period. It was true, I’d used my period as an excuse to avoid hearing her go on and on about her perfect life – or for better argument, her lies.
I thought about how she took everything I’d ever told her and used it against me. How manipulative can one human being be? No, it had to be stress. I couldn’t be pregnant. “No! I must have gotten the dates confused. The move has got me all messed up.”
He didn’t believe me; I could see it in his eyes. “If you were, I wouldn’t tell her. You’re the only person I want raising my children. I told you that before. I meant every word.”
I smiled. “I appreciate that, but I know I’m not pregnant, besides, even if I was, I wouldn’t want you to be a part of its life. Not after everything you’ve done to me. You lost your chance, buddy.”
He was silent for a few moments. Maybe he was thinking of something he could say. I just wanted to be left alone. I think he got the vibe because he walked over to the door. “Willow, I love you. I’ve always loved you. No matter what I have to do to fix this, I’m going to do it. I won’t give up until we have the life we deserve.” He stared at me for a second before disappearing.
I leaned my head on the door as he started to walk out. “Stosh, thanks for taking the time to come here. I’m glad I know what she’s up to. I know there’s more, there has to be, but I have a feeling I’m going to find out whether I want to or not.”
“So you believe me?” He asked while walking back inside.
“I want to.”
He put his hands on my cheeks and looked into my eyes. “I’ll make this right. I promise.” He kissed me on the forehead before walking out to his car.
I should have packed up my car and left, but I ended up sitting in the empty living room bawling my eyes out again.
I couldn’t believe my sister had the nerve to try and do the things she’d done to me. It was like some crazy story you hear about on television. This wasn’t a girl who was deprived of nice things. Our parents had money, and a lot of it. They took good care of us and gave us equal gifts.
How she was so different from me made no sense.
I didn’t know if I could trust Stoshua, but I had nothing else to go on.
Now, my only concern was to go out and buy a pregnancy test.
Either way, I had to know.
Chapter 12
When it rains it freaking pours.
I’d reached my breaking point. For my entire life I had trusted my sister. For her whole life, she’d secretly been plotting to ruin me. Aside from the hurt and devastation of it all, I was just devastated.
Stosh’s visit hadn’t helped. It gave me more reason to be upset. By the time I gotten decent enough to go out to the pharmacy, I was worked up. The next thing I knew I was dialing her number.
“I was wondering when you’d call.” I hated her tone already.
“Shut up, Ivy! You need to shut the hell up and listen. I don’t know what I ever did to you to make you hate me, but I’m done being your little voodoo doll. You want to play dirty, then so will I.”
“You couldn’t hurt a fly.” She wasn’t going to know what hit her.
“It’s funny; I used to think that about you. Now I know better.”
“There’s nothing you can do to hurt me. I have everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Not everything! You don’t have a baby. In fact, you’re never going to be ab
le to have one.”
“You bitch!”
“No! You’re the bitch! You took everything from me!“
“I did, and I would do it again. Do you know how long I waited to hear our parents talk bad about you? Do you know how good it feels to be the favorite?”
“It was never a competition.” I never saw our life the way she had.
“Maybe not to you, but it was for me.”
“Did you ever love me, Ivy?”
“Love is about respect and I lost that by the time we turned ten.”
“I feel sorry for you. You’ll never know what it feels like to have someone love you. You’ll die alone, you know that right?”
“Screw you!”
She hung up before I could say anything else. I’d made the first step by getting her upset. I wasn’t going to stop until I had everything she’d taken from me. This was war. And I wasn’t about to lose.
I didn’t care about her feelings, and after what she’d done, I didn’t even feel bad about it.
While still in a piss poor mood, I grabbed my keys and headed for my car. When I got out to the road it started to pour down rain. I was irrationally distraught and dropped my keys twice because I was desperately trying to find the right one to unlock my door. The kicker was I had power locks, but the battery on my keypad got wet and I had yet to replace it.
While standing there flipping through keys, someone approached me with an umbrella. Figuring it was just one of my neighbors, I continued to unlock and open my car door. I turned around to say thank you and saw Stosh standing there. It was pouring all around us. “I thought I told you to leave.”
“You’re an intelligent woman, but I don’t have to listen to you.”
“I feel like you raped me. You may as well have. The end result was just the same.” I had my hands on my hips, as if it made me look more serious.
“That hurts.”
“Well, it’s the truth. Now you tell me my sister had some scheme to get me pregnant, and you were in on it the whole time? You’re both sick!”
“I wanted you and you wanted me too. So what if I lied about what brought us together. What we shared was mutual and you know it. I would never do…” He was so damn adamant, but all I wanted to do was wipe the smile off of his face.
“You would never what? Let it happen? You’re a day late and a dollar short for that comment. I wish it never happened! I wish I never went back to town, and we were never together.” I climbed into my car, leaving him standing there. When he never moved, I rolled down the window. He looked like he was going to cry. His eyes were serious and full of pain. “You don’t mean that.”
“Move out of the way. I have to go.”
He just stood there, holding his umbrella, like he hadn’t heard me.
“Stosh, please, just go home. Live your life and stop worrying about me. You know if Ivy catches you here she’s going to go all ape-shit. I can’t take anymore of her antics. I just want to live my life, without all this bullshit. I want to forget any of it happened.”
Rain fell around us, and I saw him breaking down, though, at that very moment I didn’t care. “Please… Don’t make me leave, Will.”
“Goodbye, Stosh.”
I started pulling the car away from the curb before he’d even moved. He backed away quickly and watched me drive away from him. I was a sobbing mess, but I kept going, knowing he would follow if I didn’t.
When I pulled into the pharmacy, a rush of worry came over me. I didn’t have the money or the resources to raise a child on my own. My sister knew that. She and Stosh were legally married. They had a place to live and parents who could help them. If I was pregnant, there was a good chance she could really win custody. I wasn’t about to let that happen.
That night, alone in my house, I sat there staring at the box of tests. I was upset with myself for being in this exact predicament. Surely, we should have used protection. Had I not been part of some master plan, maybe I could have prevented all this.
Still, there I was, sitting on the floor of my empty place, in fear of what would be the result. I took them all just to be sure they all came out the same.
The truth was undeniable.
I think I was in shock; unable to believe it was even possible.
I cried and cried, not that it could change anything.
All my life, I’d never considered having to get an abortion. It went against everything I’d ever believed in. After taking three tests, I was on the phone checking with the clinic, scheduling something I didn’t want to do.
I couldn’t raise a baby.
I couldn’t give it up for adoption because I knew who would be first in line. She’d get wind of my situation and be there to take away my child.
Once again, my sister was ripping my heart out.
Had she thought about this result?
Was this her end game?
My appointment wasn’t for two weeks which made my decision even harder. As the days went by, my heart broke more by the second.
I’d like to say I was able to enjoy my new place, and excel at the job I’d worked so hard for, but it’s not what happened.
I showed no initiative because I didn’t care about anything anymore. Everything I’d worked for was turning to shit. If lightening was to strike me, or I’d been hit by a car and die, it would have been a good thing.
I had to give up the baby. It was my only option.
As the days got closer to my unborn child’s horrible fate, I contemplated ending my own life. The idea of living a life and knowing what I’d done was going to consume me forever.
Now that I was out of school, and on my own, I couldn’t expect an allowance from my parents; not that they were even on speaking terms with me. I’d tried to contact them several times, once even pleading, but they refused to listen. My sister had brainwashed them into thinking I’d tried to break up her marriage by having an affair with Stosh.
Since they wouldn’t talk to me by phone, I wrote them letters, in which I assume my sister intercepted. It didn’t even matter. At the end of the day they were going to believe my grieving sister over me, even if her agony was all a load of bullshit.
On the morning of my appointment I called a cab and threw up three times before the driver arrived. I was shaking profusely and had no idea how I was going to force myself to walk inside the clinic.
The waiting room was filled with young girls, seeking the same fate as I was. We were all going to regret it, I was sure of that. One day, we would walk by a mother and child and think about what it would have been like to hold our baby, to kiss our baby, to have our baby.
I only sat there for several minutes before I had to make a mad dash for the ladies room. There, I splashed water on my face and told myself it was my only choice. The pain was too new for me to be able to fathom what would come next if my choices were different.
When they called my name to go back, I had to meet with a counselor. It was good they had them there, for the girls who were unsure of what they wanted. They wanted all options to be weighed before we took that final step.
Several hours later, I was calling a cab and heading home. I’d made my bed, now I was going to have to lay in it.
I was keeping my baby.
Determined to turn my life around, I decided not to tell Stoshua the truth. If he really loved me, he would want to be with me even if there was no baby.
It took me three days to conjure up the nerve to call him. I don’t know why I had to talk to him, but something told me I just had to know if his feelings were real. I had to know if he was going to destroy my sister.
I called when he was at work, knowing my sister wouldn’t be anywhere near him. As far as I knew, they weren’t together, but I’d been lied to before, so I had to make sure I was protecting myself.
“Willow? Are you alright? I’m surprised to hear from you. I thought you’d written me off.”
I had to know if his intentions were true when it had to do with o
ur relationship. Did Stosh love me? Was I the one he’d wanted all along?
“Not yet.”
I started to cry immediately. I don’t get why because talking to him wasn’t exactly difficult for me. I guess I just wanted a place to belong. I felt alone, like there was no one who could heal my shattered heart. The longer it had been since hearing from Stosh, the more I realized I couldn’t just get over him. I hated him, but I loved him more. Still, I needed to do this. I had to go on with my life and this was the only way to make that happen. I had to remain in control.
“What’s wrong, babe? Did you take a test? If you are, we’ll figure out what needs to be done. Is that what’s wrong? Are you pregnant?”
“Not anymore.”
“What does that mean? Did you miscarry?”
“No!”
“Tell me you didn’t, Will. Please say you didn’t do it abort our baby.” His voice cracked when he asked as if he were getting choked up. My heart ached.
“I had no choice!” I continued to lie.
The line went quiet and then I heard sniffling.
I started to cry harder. “Say something.”
“It hurts. I don’t know what to say. I just thought…”
“You thought what? Did you think we could just run off into the sunset and raise our child? Did you think we could get away from her and her mind games?”
“Yeah, I guess I did.”
“Well, you’re wrong, Stosh. Life doesn’t work that way. My parents would help her. She has a vendetta and she won’t stop until we both have nothing.”
“She can take away everything I have, but she could never take away my love for you, Willow. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. She kept us apart for too long. What’s done is done, but I still want to be with you. I only want to be with you.”
He was more serious while I was still a crying mess. “You don’t know how badly I want to believe that. I miss my parents. They won’t talk to me. She’s got them believing all her lies. I’m alone.”
“Are you home at the new apartment?”
Twinsequences Willow Page 9
