Tess in Boots

by Courtney Rice Gager

  “Well, would you look at that? We made the local paper,” I said.

  “No, Tess. This is the national paper. Jake’s phone has been ringing off the hook all morning. Brides are coming out of the woodwork asking if we can reserve their dates.”

  So Natalie had done it. Even though it didn’t go as planned, she still found the story and gave it wings. Maybe she’d land a big-time city reporter job after all.

  “That’s amazing.” I looked up at Sara, who beamed back at me. “This is great for the vineyard.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  “Hold still.” The hairdresser slid a bobby pin into place.

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “You look beautiful, Tess.” Sara winked at me in the mirror.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Are you nervous?”

  I nodded.

  “Don’t be. It will all work out fine,” she said.

  “Thanks.”

  “Besides, everything is done. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

  I peeked around the room out of the corner of my eye. Sara was right. The wedding was hours away, and everything was done. There was nothing left to do but wait.

  ***

  “It’s about time,” Jake said. “I’ve been waiting my whole life to give you away.”

  I nudged his shoulder with mine.

  “Just kidding, Tessy. You look great.”

  Jake and I were alone in the cottage, getting ready to head to the barn for the ceremony. Sara and Annie went down ahead of time to make sure everything was in order.

  I studied myself in the mirror. I looked like a bride. It was hard to believe only twenty-four hours ago, I didn’t know I’d be getting married today.

  “Are you ready?” he asked, his voice gentle.

  I nodded.

  “Good. I can drive you.”

  “Do you think we could walk instead?”

  He gave me an odd look. “You want to walk? In that?”

  “I want to get some fresh air. Calm down a little, you know?”

  “Well… you’re the bride. Let’s get a move on then.”

  “It’s not like they’re going to start without me.”

  He grinned and opened the front door. I took one last long look in the mirror to make sure everything was perfect. Yep. It was time. I stepped through the door and Jake followed, extending his arm to help me navigate the uneven terrain in my peep-toed heels.

  “Sara told me about all the phone calls,” I said.

  “Yeah. It’s something, isn’t it?”

  “Looks like I did end up saving the vineyard. Maybe you won’t have to sell it.”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Jake?” I asked.

  He sighed.

  I stopped walking, pulling him to a stop, too. “What’s going on? Tell me. Go on. Out with it. I can take it.”

  “It’s too late,” he said. “We accepted an offer. A real estate developer Sara found. And I called and got my old job back. Anyway, the vineyard is under contract. We close next week.”

  “Oh.” I bit my lip because tears were forming in my eyes, and I wasn’t about to ruin my makeup. Not today.

  “I’m sorry, Tessy. I would’ve told you sooner, but I was hoping to get through today first. I don’t want this to put a damper on things.”

  Jake looked so pained I couldn’t bear to show my disappointment.

  “It’s the right thing for you and Sara. And your family, too. That’s what matters most,” I said.

  “We gave it a shot,” he said.

  “We did. This has been the best summer of my life.”

  “And it’s just beginning.”

  “The summer, or my life?”

  “Both, actually,” he said.

  I took his arm, and we resumed walking, slower this time. With every step we seemed to be putting more and more distance between ourselves and our time on the vineyard. I wished I could go back and relive these days all over again. I didn’t feel ready to return to my fast-paced marketing career. Not yet.

  Not ever, maybe.

  It was funny how I spent so much time agonizing over losing my job. Now it was waiting for me on a silver platter, and I couldn’t really remember why I wanted it so much in the first place. Maybe I wouldn’t go back. Maybe Thatcher was right. Maybe I had a knack for this wedding-planning thing.

  I imagined breaking the news to Logan. “Hey, honey. Jim Pierce called and offered me a director position. I turned it down. I’m going to be a wedding planner instead. I’m good at it. Well, I think I’m good at it.”

  I could almost see the look of disapproval on his face. It was the same look he gave me last night when he remarked on my haircut, and again when he noticed my boots. Typical Logan. He was always—

  “Ow!” I tripped on something, sending a wave of pain through my big toe and up my foot.

  “You okay, Tessy?”

  I scowled. “No. I stubbed my toe.”

  Jake looked at my feet. “You’re wearing the wrong shoes,” he said.

  And that’s when it sank in. That’s when it really hit me.

  You’re wearing the wrong shoes.

  He was right. I was wearing the wrong shoes, wasn’t I? And I was walking down the aisle to the wrong man. And going back to the wrong job. As much as I tried to push it down, as much as I tried to give in to the excitement of the wedding and let myself be happy, I knew it was the truth. Hearing Jake say it made it much more real.

  Last night, I’d begged God for a sign. But I didn’t need one – He’d already written the answer on my heart.

  That didn’t mean it was going to be easy, though.

  “I need to sit down,” I said.

  “Now?”

  “Yes. I don’t feel well.”

  Jake grabbed me by the hand and led me over to a large tree stump on the edge of the path. I plopped down without giving a second thought to my dress. My breath came fast and shallow.

  “Tessy?”

  I held up a hand to silence Jake. I needed to think.

  He sat down next to me on the edge of the stump.

  I could hear a violin begin to play in the distance. The ceremony was scheduled to start any minute.

  Thatcher was gone. The vineyard would be gone soon, too. There was nothing here for me anymore. Right down that path was everything. A man who could take care of me. A job with a future. All I had to do was go.

  But I couldn’t. Because sitting there, looking down at my spiky heels with the dusting of mud on the soles, I knew that as much as I was in love with the picture of who I wanted Logan to be, he was also in love with the picture of who he wanted me to be. As long as I didn’t change my hairstyle, and kept up my sensible, perfect life, I was the woman of his dreams. But he didn’t love messy, bad-dancing, crazy-idea-having me. He never had.

  “Jake, I don’t think I can do this.”

  He put his arm around me and gave me a squeeze.

  Forget the makeup, the tears came. Hard. I rested my head on his shoulder. “I don’t want to disappoint you. Or Dad.”

  “Tessy, no.” He stroked my hair, his voice soothing. “You’re not disappointing anyone.”

  “You said so yourself. You said this is what Dad would have wanted for me.”

  He put a hand under my chin and turned my face to meet his. “Dad would have wanted you to be happy. Last night it seemed like you had a case of cold feet. But I’m starting to think this is something more.”

  I nodded, a fresh wave of tears falling down my cheeks. “It is. I think… I think I’ve changed my mind.”

  “Can I ask you something?” He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to me.

  “What?” I wiped my runny nose.

  He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Is this because of Thatcher?”

  “No!” I hiccupped. “Thatcher’s gone. But even if he wasn’t… it has nothing to do with him. I know you think Logan loves me, but he doesn’t. Not really.” I was
talking so fast, I didn’t pause to take a breath. “Do you know he won’t let me dance? I like dancing. And yeah, I’m terrible at it, but so what? A girl should be able to dance at her own wedding!” I gasped for air.

  “So, it’s about dancing then?” Jake raised an eyebrow.

  “It’s about everything!” I flung the handkerchief into the air and watched as it wafted to the ground. “He wants me to be someone I’m not. And I’ve tried. I’ve done a pretty good job at pretending to be this perfect person for him. But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life pretending. I deserve more. He does, too. I can’t marry him, Jake. I just can’t!”

  “You don’t have to, Tessy. You don’t have to go through with this.”

  I choked back a sob. “I have to go tell him.”

  Jake stood up. “No. I don’t think you should. Why don’t you let your big brother handle this one?”

  “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “It’s as good as done. Go back to the cottage and wait there.”

  I stood up, shaking. It was the strangest thing. I was simultaneously overcome with relief and riddled with disappointment.

  Goodbye, perfect wedding. Goodbye, perfect life.

  “Go on,” he said. “I’ll be there in a bit.”

  I started to go, and then remembered something else.

  “Jake, wait!”

  He turned back to look at me. “Yeah?”

  “Give him this.” I sighed, pulled the ring off my finger, and handed it over to him. He tucked it into his jacket pocket.

  Goodbye sparkly ring.

  “And tell him I’m sorry. Tell him I’m so sorry.”

  “I will. Chin up, buttercup. It’s gonna be okay.”

  I watched him stride downhill until he was out of sight. Then I slipped off my shoes and with one in each hand, trudged back to the cottage alone.

  CHAPTER 35

  Go on, Tess. Just do it.

  An hour after calling off the wedding I sat on the edge of the bed, holding my phone like it was the detonator to a bomb. Once I pushed this button, my picturesque future would officially be obliterated.

  I hit the call button and waited for Jim to pick up.

  “Jim Pierce.”

  I cleared my throat. “Jim? It’s Tess.”

  “Hi, Tess. Did you get a chance to look over the offer?”

  “That’s what I’m calling about.” I took a deep breath. My hands trembled. “I’m so sorry to tell you I have to decline.”

  There was confused silence on his end of the line.

  “I appreciate you thinking of me,” I said.

  “Is it the money? Because I can—”

  “No. No, it’s not the money. I’ve… I’ve decided to go in a different direction.”

  I could hear him tapping his pen on his desk. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” he asked.

  “No. I’m afraid there isn’t.”

  “I understand.” His voice was strained with an effort to sound professional. “It would have been great to have you. But I understand.”

  “Thanks Jim, for everything. And good luck.”

  “Good luck to you, too. Goodbye, Tess. Go be amazing.”

  He hung up the phone, and I added in a whisper, “Go be Tess.”

  For the first time in a long time, I could remember what that meant.

  There was a knock at the cottage door.

  “Tessy, there’s someone here to see you.” Jake cracked open the door and peeked his head through.

  I shot up in bed. “How did it go? What did he say?”

  He grimaced. “He’s… upset.”

  I sucked my breath in through my teeth. “Do you think I should go apologize?”

  He shook his head. “At some point, maybe, but not right now. Give it a little time, okay?”

  “Yeah.” I grabbed a nearby pillow and hugged it to me.

  “But hey,” he said, “there’s someone here who wants to see you.”

  “Is it Mom? Jake, I don’t have the energy to talk to Mom.”

  “It’s not Mom,” he said.

  “Good. As long as it’s not Mom. Can you keep her out of my hair for a while? And Annie, too?”

  “One step ahead of you.” He pulled a small note out of his pocket and read aloud from it. “Annie says you can hide out for now, but you need to call her as soon as you get home and not a minute later. Or so help her she’ll hunt you down and make you talk. She also says she’s bringing Chinese food to your apartment. Oh, and don’t feel guilty, Tess. You did the right thing. You don’t owe anyone anything, so get that sad pathetic look off your face.”

  I let out a staggered laugh and wiped a tear away with the back of my hand.

  “And as for Mom”—he took a breath—“you owe me.”

  “Why?”

  He put his hands in his pockets. “I told her you left town.”

  “What?”

  He gave me a smug smile. “Yep. Told her you were on your way to the airport and hopping on the first available flight to somewhere tropical.”

  I leapt to my feet and opened my arms. Jake took several steps toward me and wrapped me up in a hug. “You are the best,” I said. “I can’t thank you enough.”

  “I figured it’d buy you some time.” He stepped back and shrugged.

  “How long did you tell her I’d be gone for?”

  “Two weeks. But I should warn you, she’s planning on coming up to see you as soon as you get back from this pretend trip of yours. And she mentioned something about taking you to get some decent shoes.”

  “She didn’t like the boots, huh?”

  “Nope.” He smirked.

  “How’d you know I needed my space?”

  “Just a hunch.” He winked. “There is one person I didn’t think you’d mind talking to, though.”

  “Who?”

  “Open the door and see for yourself,” he said.

  My heart raced. Is it him? Did he come back?

  I looked like a mess, but I didn’t care. I raced to the door and flung it open. A familiar face was waiting for me.

  Vivian.

  My heart sank. He’s gone, Tess. And he’s not coming back.

  She flashed a gentle smile. “Can I come in?”

  “Yes.” I tried to smile in return as she stepped through the threshold. “Of course.”

  “I’ll give you two a minute.” On his way out, Jake turned over his shoulder and said, “Listen, when you’re done here, why don’t you come up to the house? I think they’re going to clear out the dresses and everything.”

  I nodded and stifled a yelp.

  Goodbye, beautiful dresses.

  “How are you holding up?” Viv asked, once Jake was out of sight.

  “Okay, I guess.” I rubbed a finger under each eye in an attempt to wipe away any smudged mascara. “I must look awful.”

  “Not at all. I didn’t mean to barge in on you like this, but I wanted to see you before I left. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for misleading you.”

  “Don’t be. You had the best of intentions. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. It was supposed to be a wonderful, romantic gesture. I’m not mad at you in the least.”

  She nodded. “Still, I hate how this got thrown at you like it did. At first I was excited about being a part of it. But then, I could see things were… complicated. I didn’t think it was fair to put you in this position. I tried to tell Logan he was being too pushy, but he wouldn’t listen. So, rather than spoil the surprise, I backed out. I wish I would have told you what was going on. It could have saved everyone a lot of heartache. I’m sorry for that.”

  “It’s fine. Really. It might not have changed anything anyway.”

  “So, what are you going to do now?” she asked.

  “I have no idea. Take off this dress, for starters. And then, maybe… I don’t know. I’m thinking of seeing if I can get a gig as a wedding planner. Does that sound nuts?”

  “No. It doesn’t. You sh
ould see how it looks out there. It’s indescribable. You did a tremendous job.”

  I wouldn’t get to see it, I realized. I could go down there if I wanted to, but it wasn’t worth risking running into Logan, or his family, or any of the other wedding guests for that matter. It was a little sad, not getting to see how it all turned out, but it was for the best. Seeing what I gave up would only make me feel worse.

  “I’ll take your word for it,” I said. “I’m sure it’s beautiful. Of course, the lack of budget didn’t hurt.”

  “That was all Logan.” A look of regret crossed her face as soon as she said it.

  I cringed. Logan paid for all this. He wasn’t just losing me. He was losing some big bucks, too.

  “Don’t worry about it, Tess. Like I said, I tried to tell him he was being too pushy. You had every right to make this choice. And you’ve made your choice. So don’t doubt yourself.”

  I nodded, determined not to let myself cry again. “Thanks, Viv. For coming here to see me.”

  She hugged me one last time. “Good luck with everything. You’re going to be fine.”

  I walked her out and waved her off. I closed the door and was about to take off my dress when the phone rang. “Hello?”

  “Tess, it’s DJ.” She sounded annoyed.

  “Oh. Hey.”

  “So I guess we’re not having a wedding, huh?”

  “No, we’re not.”

  “You’re still going to pay me though, right?”

  I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it, stunned. How could she be so rude? I was supposed to be at my wedding reception. Didn’t she realize that?

  “Hello? Are you still there?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.”

  “I was asking—”

  “I heard you. And don’t worry, you’ll get paid.”

  “Good. Listen, there’s one more thing. I thought you should know Thatcher came over to my place before he left town the other night.”

  I almost dropped the phone, hearing her words and remembering what she said the last time we spoke. I feel like I owe you one after last night.

  So that’s what she meant.

  “You know, in case you planned to call off the wedding and run into his arms. Don’t bother. Turns out he’s a slime ball. And besides, he’s gone anyway.”

  I was not going to cry. I was not going to cry.