by C J Benjamin
When I finally reached Nova, he looked as happy as I felt when he saw me holding the baby marmouse, who kept rubbing his eyes to adjust them to the sudden brightness of the world outside his burrow. We couldn’t help but smile when we looked at him. He was so small and delicate. He fit perfectly in the scooped palms of my hands. His black coat was so silky and shiny and he had the cutest markings of toffee brown fluffy fur on his face that looked like an animated mask as he sniffed and twitched quizzically at his surroundings. He had the same shaggy brown fur on his long, slender legs and round under belly. His long silky black tail wiggled excitedly, but I think my favorite feature had to be his oversized ears. They were so large that he couldn’t keep the top half from flopping forward and they were covered with a silver wispy fur that seemed as fine as if it were spun by a silk spider. It floated in even the most undetectable breeze and gave the appearance that it was alive, like tentacles collecting valuable information.
At the sound of my voice those ears would perk straight up in full salute for a moment before gravity would take over and they would fold over again, leaving his little silver wispies floating behind. I couldn’t get the grin off my face as I stared at him. He was so full of life and confidence. So trusting and wondrous. The cruelty of the world hadn’t spoiled him yet and I made up my mind right then that I was going to do everything I could to keep him that way. By this time the others had come over to see what Nova and I were doing. Sparrow squealed with delight when she saw the tiny marmouse in my hands.
“Ohhhh, its so cute! Where did you find it?” Sparrow asked.
I didn’t know what to say. They didn’t know I could communicate with animals yet and I felt frightened to share that with the rest of them all of a sudden. Luckily, Nova sensed this and spoke up for me.
“She found him over here by his burrow,” he said gesturing to the earthen lair.
“He’s so tiny,” Remi said coming in for a closer look.
“What are we going to do with him?” asked Journey craning his neck for a better view.
“I think Tippy has decided that he needs us to care for him,” Nova said looking straight into my eyes.
“Is that the best idea?” Journey asked.
“Well, we can’t very well leave him out here to fend for himself, can we?” chirped Sparrow who seemed completely charmed by the marmouse. “He can’t be more than a few days old.”
“We’ll take him back to the Center with us and he’ll need all of us to protect him,” I said sternly. “I need to hear you all say you’ll promise to protect him,” I said looking directly at Journey.
They all nodded, even Journey, but I wanted more. I swore to his dying mother that I would protect him and I had to keep this promise.
“I need to hear you swear to it,” I demanded, holding my hands out with the tiny marmouse in them. “Swear on him that you’ll protect him.”
They all reached a hand in, one by one and placed them upon mine, all touching the happy little marmouse as he inquisitively sniffed at them. And then in unison, they said, “I swear.”
25
Dear Journal,
Last night was crazy! I know it seems I say that a lot, but last night was one of the worst and best nights of my life. We discovered that Beto people are alive and living in the forest. We met one of them. His name is Eja and he said he wants to help us, but I don’t know if I trust him yet. He seems almost too eager to help. It was great that he was able to teach me so much so quickly about the Beto people through some sort of thought-sharing power. It was great up until the part when he showed me my destiny to become the savior of all the people on our island. Oh yeah, out of nowhere, Remi showed up! Journey almost took his head off, but luckily I found him first and was able to stop that from happening. I’m so happy that Remi knows what’s going on now and that I don’t have to keep any of this a secret from him anymore. I hadn’t realized it, but not being able to share this with him was really keeping me from enjoying my new powers. I still have a lot of questions for him. Like, how did he find us and why couldn’t I see him? And I’m sure he has a lot of questions for me, too. We haven’t had any time to talk yet.
We were in a rush to get back to the Troian Center after staying in the forest so long, but we came upon a tarcat and, this is almost too painful to write down, but I guess I should if only to preserve her memory. Journey and I found a large tarcat attacking a marmouse. I did everything I could to save her, including destroying a huge tree by turning it to stone to scare away the tarcat, but it was too late for her. Sparrow and I tried to heal her, but she was too far gone. That was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life, but somehow I did find good in all of this. I rescued her orphaned baby and brought him back to the Center with me. We’ve all sworn to protect him and he’s already charmed us all with his warm nuzzling and adorable qualities. I’ve named him Niv. It means survivor in Beto.
Last night also brought me strangely closer to Nova. I’ve never seen so much kindness and respect shown to another being as he showed to Niv’s mother. He buried her and said the most beautiful prayer. I could see into the darkest shadows of his soul and how we were even more alike than I knew, both feeling the all too familiar sting of familial loss stirred up by the death of the brave marmouse. He also seemed to sense this connection and he stayed close to me all night, ushering us all safely back into the Center in the nick of time this morning and making sure we found a safe place for Niv.
Another crazy thing happened, too, and I’m reluctant to even talk about it, but this is my only escape, the only place I can get everything off my chest and sort out my feelings, so here it goes. Last night I figured out I have another power. I can talk to animals and they can talk back to me. Even writing this down it seems to be the most absurd of all my powers. Not that turning things to stone, or producing light out of thin air is normal, but this one happened while I was alone and Nova is the only one who knows about it. I was too shaken to tell the others after all we’d been through last night. Plus, I don’t even think Nova knows this part, but what makes this all feel so strange is I think it’s something I’ve always known about myself, and last night it became undeniably clear.
I’ve always felt a kinship to animals: been able to sing songs to the sea birds, show respect to the fickle tarcats, warmth to the hungry marmice. I even paid special attention to the crickets who sang me to sleep each night with their happy songs. Maybe these were all signs that were trying to prepare me for what’s been happening to me lately, prepare me for my destiny.
At least last night answered one of my questions. Number 5: will Remi ever know I have powers? YES!
I may have a million more questions, but at least I answered an important one and it was the best answer I could have hoped for. As for the rest, I’m just going to keep working on them.
I was writing furiously in my journal all through my first lesson. It seemed to make me appear studious because Miss Banna left me alone while she droned on about some useless plant or another. Before I knew it, the bell chimed and it was time to pack up and move on to Reading and Writing. I wanted to check on Niv before our next lesson, so I quickly slammed my books closed and ran to room 13 as fast as I could.
Niv was right where I’d left him. All cozied up inside a hollowed out book Remi helped me make last night so we could hide him in my cubby. I filled it with some straw from my cot bed and he settled right in. When I carefully opened the lid, he blinked sleepily up at me and stretched his little legs as far as they could go and let out a big yawn. He was so animated that I couldn’t help but smile and scratch him under his chin.
“I’ll be back in a little while, Niv. Keep quiet like a good boy and I’ll bring you some lunch,” I whispered and secured him back in his hiding place inside the wardrobe and then I ran off to lessons, sliding into my seat beside Remi as the bell gonged again. Remi gave me a sly smile and I couldn’t help but grin, so happy to have him back at last.
26
We met at our u
sual lunch table and reconfirmed our plan to meet Eja in the forest tonight for help with our plan to get sent to the locker and learn more about the legend of Lux. We also argued about whether Niv could come with us. I already intended to bring him to Flood work and the forest, thinking he needed the fresh air, but Nova thought it would be wise to leave him behind. We settled on bringing him to Flood work to see how he did. Then we ended up just gushing about how cute he was and what adorable things he did when we checked on him throughout the day.
We all saved our scraps from lunch for him and I carefully smuggled them back to our room. I packed the scraps and Niv in my burlap shoulder bag that I carried my Flood work gear in. Today I went back to my usual spot working alongside Remi on the rubble pile. When it was safe, I opened my bag to see how Niv was doing. I had to stifle a laugh because when I peered inside, he lay belly up on a pile of rags and my gloves, happy as a pig in slop. He obviously found the scraps of food I wrapped in a napkin and helped himself to them. He was covered in crumbs and was busy trying to collect them from his fluffy chin hair. He looked like a little, old man grooming his beard as he made soft grunting sounds. He paused for a moment blinking at me with his big brown eyes when he noticed me looking at him, but then he went back to work.
“Well, he seems happy,” I said to Remi with a smile.
“What’s he doing in there? I can hear him grunting,” he asked.
“He snuffled his way into the scraps we saved him and ate them all. Now he’s busy cleaning the crumbs out of his beard!”
This made us both laugh. It felt so good to laugh with Remi again that I couldn’t help myself from blurting out my feelings to him.
“Remi, I’m so excited that you know about all of this now. I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you from the beginning. It was just so crazy and happening so fast, and I didn’t know what to make of it myself. I wanted to tell you, I mean I even tried to tell you, but you were so mad at me and I didn’t want you to think I was any crazier than you already did after Mr. Greyvin’s lesson, and – ”
“It’s okay, 65. I get in now,” he interrupted. “I’m really glad we’re friends again, too, and I’m sorry for acting like a jerk,” he said lowering his eyes.
“Let’s just start over from here. Best friends again?”
“Best friends,” he said smiling at me.
We worked side by side silently for a little while longer, occasionally checking on Niv and enjoying his antics. Finally, I got up the courage to ask Remi about last night.
“So about last night? How did you find us, Remi?”
“I followed you. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Like I said, you’d been acting strange, so I would lay awake trying to figure out what was going on. And then I caught a lucky break when I saw Journey get up. At first I just thought he was going to the John’s room, but then I saw him go over to your window and climb out. I sat up and looked around and realized you were gone, too. So I got up as quickly as I could and went out the window the same way I saw Journey do it. I had a really hard time keeping up with him. I just saw you all walk into the forest together and was about to give up because when I tried following you it was too dark to see. But then there was suddenly light ahead and I just followed it, hoping it was you guys.”
“Why didn’t you call out to us to wait for you or something?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I was afraid you’d be mad at me for following you and send me back. I wanted to find out what you were up to.”
“But I still don’t get how we couldn’t see or hear you. Journey and I are really good at that kind of stuff. It’s one of the powers we have.”
Remi just shrugged and said, “I don’t know, 65. I just kept as quiet as I could and was willing myself to be invisible, you know?”
I stopped polishing the stone I was working on for a moment. Something in his words gave me a strange feeling of déjà vu. It was as if I was trying to recall a dream. I had a foggy memory that was jogged by something Remi just said. ‘Willing myself to be invisible.’ Could it be? Could Remi have a power, too? A cold chill washed over me as I made the connection. It was Eja who shared the history of the Truiets and their powers with us last night. Invisibility was one of them. That was it! I was tingling with excitement. “Remi,” I started, trying to sound as casual as I could. “What do you mean when you say ‘willing yourself to be invisible’?”
“Just like wishing for it. Praying I’d stay hidden out of sight long enough to find out what you were up to,” he replied.
“Could you do it now?” I asked.
“What?” he asked stopping to look up at me. “Why would I need to do that here?” he said sounding worried.
“Well, you wouldn’t need to, but I was just wanting to try something,” I said.
“Okay,” he said hesitantly.
I crawled closer to him and glanced around to make sure no one was watching us. When I was sure we weren’t on anyone’s radar I grabbed his hand.
“Can you just try to recreate how you were feeling last night when you were trying to be invisible? I want to see if I can feel it,” I said.
Remi looked at me suspiciously at first, but then he closed his eyes and I could feel him wash over me. I felt his fear, his insecurity, and his desperation to disappear. His emotions were so strong and real and he was able to tap into them so effortlessly that they must be kept at the surface and used often. This thought made my heart heavy. I could imagine that the hardships and teasing he’d endured at the Center had often made him wish he could just disappear, and then right before me, he vanished. It wasn’t a slow withdraw, one second I was looking at him and then the next I was looking through the space where he had been. Although I couldn’t see him I could still feel him. I could still feel the warmth of his hand beneath mine and feel his presence, and I could even hear his breathing. But even with being able to feel him I was so caught off guard that I let go of his hand to stifle my gasp. As soon as I did, it broke his concentration and he reappeared. He was just staring at me with those big brown eyes, swallowing me up with his questioning look.
“Remi!” I hissed in a rushed whisper. “Do you know what you just did?”
“I did what you asked me to do. You said to feel like I did last night when I was trying to disappear. What’s wrong?”
“You really don’t know?”
“No, but you’re kind of freaking me out.”
“You disappeared, Remi. For real, not just figuratively or in your mind. You disappeared right before my eyes!”
“What? Come on, 65, you’re just messing with me now.”
“Remi, I swear it. I swear it on Niv.”
With that he sat up straighter, and I could tell he was starting to take me seriously.
“Watch me. I’m going to try to do it. I’m an Parallel.”
He just stared at me blankly.
“It means once I connect to someone’s power, I can do it, too. It sometimes takes some practice, but I’m going to try it, okay? Tell me if it works.”
He only nodded at me with his look of concern growing. I closed my eyes just as he had and tapped back into his feelings. I felt them wash over me and could actually feel my body matter departing, becoming lighter. I opened my eyes expecting to see straight through where my hands were, but they were still there. All of me was still there. It made no sense. I could feel myself evaporating, but as I looked down at my body, I was clearly still there. I looked over at Remi and was about to apologize and say maybe I needed some more practice, but his look of pure terror stopped me dead.
“Remi, what’s wrong?”
“Oh my gods!” he whispered.
“What? What is it?”
And with that I felt myself returning, the heaviness settled back in and Remi suddenly reached out to touch my hands.
“You did it,” he whispered.
“Wait, you mean I disappeared?”
“Completely!”
“That’s incredible! Remi, you’re one
of us! You just shared your power with me! It was so insane. I felt like it was working, but I could still see myself.”
“Well, I couldn’t see you. Is that really what I did?”
“I guess. Like I said, I didn’t see you when you just did it, but when I was apparently doing it I could still see myself. Remi, that’s magnificent. I bet that’s why you never knew you had this power. Nothing changes for you. It’s just others that can’t see you.”
We sat there staring at each other silently. I picked up a stone and handed it to him quietly so it looked like we were working because I noticed a Grift coming our direction. Remi idly rubbed at it with his ragged cloth, while I picked quietly through the pile, sorting the valuables into baskets. The Grift walked on by without a word and I was about to pick up our conversation when I jumped at the touch of something at my leg. I turned to see Niv nuzzling my calf.
“Niv! What are you doing out of your bag?”
Remi looked over at us.
“Well, do you suppose it’s okay?” I asked. “He looks so happy scampering around out here,” I said as he scurried past me, chasing a frightened acida bug. The bug wiggled its way through the crevices of the rubble pile and out of Niv’s sight, which left him anxiously snuffing and snorting in every cranny he could stick his slender snout into.
