Cowboy 12 Pack

by Cynthia D’Alba, Paige Tyler, Elle James, Donna Michaels, Shoshanna Evers, Randi Alexander, Cora Seton, Beth Williamson, Sabrina York, Sable Hunter, Lexi Post, Becky McGraw

  She nodded and drew back. “Yeah. I’m great.”

  Cole came over, kissed his wife then cupped Kade’s shoulder. “You were right. I was toast.” His friend smiled at Brandi. “You’re amazing. I hope we get the chance to play together again.”

  “Absolutely,” she said. “I’d like that.”

  As the night wore on, once again he was sitting at the table with his arm draped around the beauty at his side, joking with Connor when Kevin leaned toward Cole.

  “So, tell me, buddy, how does it feel to be married to a deputy?”

  Jordan smiled and gave a slight shake to her head. “I’m not one yet.”

  “True.” His cousin nodded. “But close enough, so spill, McCall.”

  Cole lifted his wife’s hand to his lips. “I don’t care what she does for a living. I just love her.”

  “Oh, man, are you trying to make me puke?” Kevin shuddered. “That’s not what I was asking.”

  “I have no problem with Jordan being a deputy. I think she’ll make a damn good one.”

  Kade couldn’t agree more. In fact, he was counting on it. The thought of having someone else on the force capable of doing the job set his mind at ease. Especially with his annual training coming up next month. He knew he’d be leaving the county in good hands for those two weeks he’d be away at AT.

  Cole turned to him and nodded. “I also know I can count on you to keep my wife safe.”

  He stiffened. Ah, hell. Every hair on his body stood up, while all his blood felt as if it turned to cement. Brandi turned and stared at him. He could feel her gaze, but he couldn’t bring himself to face the woman.

  “Ah, Cole, buddy.” Kevin snickered. “You’re wife can take care of herself, remember? You saw her bring that big guy down.”

  Jordan nodded. “I don’t need anyone taking care of me.”

  Now there were more gazes on him. He felt them, too. The tightness in his chest increased until the urge to leave shook through his body. He had to get out. Sweat gathered between his shoulder blades and trickled down his back.

  Before he knew it, Brandi tugged him to his feet, slipped an arm around him and addressed the table. “Thanks for tonight, everyone. I appreciate the support. I had a great time.” Then she maneuvered them through the crowd and outside into the wonderful night air. “It’s okay,” she said. “You need to breathe, Kade. Just breathe.”

  Fuck. He hated feeling weak. Fucking hated it!

  He released her, walked to his truck and grasped the tailgate while he dropped his head and dragged air into his lungs. This was ridiculous. These episodes had to stop. And if people would stop saying shit like they counted on him, or expected him to do something, then maybe he’d be just fine.

  A warm hand slid up his back. “Jeez. You’re all wet.”

  He grunted. “No shit.” Then felt bad at the harshness of his voice.

  “Come on.” Although her hand stilled, it remained on him. “Let’s go to my place.”

  And because he had every intention of going there, he nodded and opened the passenger door. He even smiled and kissed her hand before he walked around and got in behind the wheel. But he sat for a minute. He still needed another damn minute to regain control. A myriad of thoughts rushed through his head. He counted as he breathed and soon this mind and pulse calmed to a dull roar. The night hadn’t gone as he’d planned.

  Once safety was no longer an issue, he drove the short distance to her house and parked in her driveway. She was staring at him again, and he couldn’t blame her. With nothing to say for himself, he remained quiet as he walked her to her door. He was an ass, and was beginning to realize she deserved better. A whole hell of a lot better.

  She unlocked the door, flipped on the lights and tugged his arm, but he didn’t budge.

  “Not tonight. I’m going to go home,” he told her, his heart squeezing at the disappointment clouding her gaze. Lifting his hand, he traced her jaw. “You did great tonight. I’m so proud of you.”

  Cupping his hand, she pressed his palm to her face. “Then come inside. Please, Kade.”

  God, he wanted to, he really did, but something felt off, not right. An anger resided in him that wasn’t going away.

  Usually, after a few minutes of calming down, or method breathing, he’d manage to move forward. But not now. It was getting tougher and tougher as the weeks wore on. Damned if he knew why. This had happened before, not often, but it had happened, and experience taught him it was best if he spent time alone until this mood subsided. He was not up for company, not even hers.

  “Sorry, I have to go. I’m not good company. I need to be alone.”

  She stepped into him and kissed his neck. “Bet I could change your mind.”

  Any other time, and she would have, but not now. Now, he just wanted solitude. The woman made him feel, and that was exactly what he didn’t want.

  He grabbed her upper arms and gently but firmly put her away from him. “No.” He shook his head. “I need to go. Goodnight.”

  Pivoting on his heel, he strode to his truck, feeling lower than low at hurting the best thing to ever happen to him. But he knew, deep down, somehow he knew this was for her own good.

  Chapter Thirteen

  ‡

  BRANDI WASN’T SURE when things had gone south with Kade, only that they had. The relationship was still on, but something had changed. They still saw each other, had sex, all the stuff they’d done before, but something was off.

  It had manifested before he’d gone to annual training, and although she’d hoped when he’d gotten back things would be better, they were actually a little worse. He wasn’t as talkative. Almost closed up. She’d missed him, missed being with him, riding horses at his ranch, listening to him talk about the horses; they didn’t do that anymore.

  She pulled up in front of Shadow Rock, thriving with cars and people with the annual end of summer barbeque in full swing. Hopefully, Kade would be less stressed and they’d get to spend time together. Her heart warmed at the thought. If they could just have some quality time together. That should help.

  Spotting her friend wearing a similar denim sun dress, she waved to Kerri, pasting a bright smile on her face as she slid out of her truck. Brandi refused to bring the woman down. Her friend was happy and excited about the wedding around the corner, and renovations to the Wild Creek Ranch.

  “Hey, you two,” she said to the approaching couple holding hands.

  Kerri slung her free arm around her shoulder and squeezed. “Ready for some end of the summer fun, Dalton style?”

  She laughed. “Boy, am I ever.”

  “Good,” Connor said, every bit the cowboy in his red, button-down shirt and jeans. “’Cause it’s good people, good eats, good fun.”

  “I know you really enjoyed the last one,” she said, watching the couple exchange a quick kiss.

  “Yep.” Connor tipped his hat at her. “I got me the best fiancée during the last one. Maybe you’ll get one during this one…”

  Brandi’s heart hit her ribs. Fiancé? Kade? They weren’t anywhere near that. She exhaled and shook her head. “Hold on there, cowboy. We’ve barely gotten to the actual relationship stage.”

  Kerri squeezed her shoulder. “Which is great. You work with that. Don’t mind my well-meaning-but-clueless cowboy. Take your time.”

  Standing in the food line, she glanced around for Kade, trying to ignore the nagging feeling of…doom. Which was stupid. Everyone was here. Everyone was laughing, eating, dancing to one of the local bands she’d seen showcased at the Texas-Pub. The sky was clear and bright, so weather wasn’t an issue.

  “There’s my sister,” Kerri said, nudging Brandi toward the deputy eating at a table with her husband and Jen, Brock and Cody.

  “Hi, everyone.” She nodded as she sat. “Hey, Cody.”

  “Hi,” the little boy replied, not bothering to look up from his plate of food.

  Kerri sat next to her and smiled at her sister. “Wasn’t sure you’d make
it.”

  Jordan returned the grin. “I’d never miss a Dalton barbeque if I could help it. I can be on duty just as easily here as the station.” Her friend held up her radio.

  She knew from Kade that his new deputy was a godsend. For several weeks now, Jordan had been on the force, and he’d told Brandi he’d rested easier during annual training knowing the county had been left in capable hands. According to her handsome sheriff, her friend knew law enforcement. Knew how to enforce the law. Knew how to write reports, take down bad guys, shoot, and most importantly, make lunch runs without getting the cruiser hung up on guardrails.

  “Damn, Jordan,” Kevin said as he approached in a blue shirt and jeans, appearing every bit the local heartthrob. “You look a hell of a lot better in the uniform than Skippy.”

  She hid a smile as she ate. One never knew what was going to come out of that man’s mouth.

  “Damn straight,” Cole said, slapping his buddy’s shoulder when he dropped next to him.

  Brandi glanced around the cowboy. No sign of his cousin. Disappointment dulled the taste of the wonderful food.

  “He’s in the stables.” Blue eyes, clear and serious, stared at her from across the table. “Been quiet today. I thought maybe you two had a fight.”

  She frowned. “No.” They’d actually had a decent time on the beach with Cody three days ago. Then ended the night at the ranch, watching another DVD and falling asleep.

  “He has been awfully quiet a lot lately,” Jen said, her light eyes wearing the same worried expression as her brother’s.

  What little food she’d eaten turned to lead in her stomach.

  “Yeah, he didn’t even go with me to the auction yesterday.” Connor shook his head as he ate. “Not like him.”

  Brandi carefully set her chicken leg down and wiped her fingers. Kade didn’t go? Her heart dropped to her boots. He’d told her he was going. She hadn’t bothered to call or text him. Hadn’t wanted to interrupt his time with Connor. She’d hoped some time with his good friend might snap him out of his funk. It usually worked. Connor had a way of bringing a smile to Kade’s face.

  This wasn’t good.

  She swallowed and glanced at Kevin. “Where did you say he was?”

  “The stables,” he replied.

  Placing her napkin on her plate, she stood. “Excuse me.”

  “No he isn’t,” Cody shook his head. “Unkewl Kade went widing. I saw him wide away.”

  Jen glanced at her son then lifted her troubled gaze. “But he knew the barbeque was today. He wouldn’t do that.”

  “He did, mom. I saw him,” Cody insisted.

  Connor stilled. “What’s the date?”

  Cole cocked his head and frowned. “The tenth, why?”

  She watched Connor close his eyes and mutter a curse. Now her whole body was as tense as the strings of her violin. “What is it?” she asked in barely a whisper.

  The cowboy opened his eyes and hit her with the most serious brown gaze he’d ever worn. “Three days from now is the anniversary of that soldier’s death.”

  The whole table collectively inhaled and her stomach pitched. She had to find him. God, she couldn’t let him face this alone.

  “Cody, when did Uncle Kade leave?” Kevin gently prodded his nephew.

  “Just before Connow and Kewi and Bwandi got hewe.”

  Connor set his plate aside and stood. “I think I know where he went.” He turned to her and nodded. “Come on.”

  Not exactly dressed for riding, she practically raced to keep up with the tall cowboy. But didn’t care. She was going to find Kade. Had to find him. At least she had her boots on, her mind reasoned as they strode past an empty stall in the stable.

  Connor cursed again. “Yep, if he’s on Itherael, I know exactly where he went.”

  Unsure what all that meant, she just nodded and waited as the cowboy quickly saddled one of the faster horses. She’d thought about saddling hers, but didn’t want to waste time. Connor seemed to know what he was doing.

  Swinging his large frame into the saddle, he wore a look of determination on his face that set her mind at ease. It was going to be okay. Connor knew his friend. Knew where to go. He’d take her to the man she loved and she’d make—

  Her heart tripped and rolled in her chest.

  The man she loved?

  How…when did that happen?

  “Give me your hand,” Connor said.

  In her dazed state, she did as directed and large fingers clamped around her forearm, lifting her like she was a feather, and deposited her behind him in the saddle. Thank goodness her denim dress had a full skirt. Made straddling easier.

  “Hold on. We’ve got a ways to go and we’re going fast.”

  As they galloped over blackbrush, the mesquite and live oaks went by in a blur, Brandi tried to wrap her mind around her revelation.

  She loved Kade.

  It was true. The gorgeous, sweet, giving man accepted her. Made her feel good about herself. Wanted her to change nothing about herself. He was thoughtful and caring, always put himself last…and God, yes, she loved the man very much.

  She had to help him get past this hurt. Help him feel as good as he made her feel, but she didn’t know how. Physically, yes, that she knew, but emotionally? Mentally? She wasn’t sure.

  They’d been riding hard for over an hour and a half. She couldn’t feel anything from the butt down anymore, but didn’t care. Finding Kade was all that mattered. Thank God he had such a good friend in Connor McCall. Guilt clawed in her gut. She’d taken him away from his fiancée and the party. But something told her he would’ve been doing this even if she hadn’t been around.

  Finally, she felt the horse slowing its pace and Connor called over his shoulder.

  “Found him.”

  She inhaled, then exhaled slowly, forcing her mind to clear. He was probably not going to be happy they’d intruded, but too bad. She was here and wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Connor, what the hell are you doing here?”

  “I could ask you the same thing, buddy,” her escort replied. “But I think I know, and we’re here to help.”

  “We’re? What do you mean, we’re?” Kade’s tone was steel and full of dread.

  He obviously hadn’t seen her behind the tall cowboy. Bracing herself, she set her spine, lifted her chin, then used Connor’s outstretched hand to steady herself as she slipped off the horse.

  “He means me,” she stated, facing a very disgruntled cowboy.

  Wearing jeans, a charcoal button-down shirt, gorgeous black Stetson and a very deep frown, the man bit back a curse. “Brandi? What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for you.”

  “Right, and now she’s found you, my job is done. Have a good night, you two.” Connor tipped his hat, turned the horse, and with a slight kick, sent the large creature into motion.

  “Connor! Son-of-a-bitch. Get back here! Take her with you.” Kade raced forward.

  His friend didn’t listen. Just raised a hand and kept riding away.

  Her heart was thudding in her throat as she watched the agitated man slowly turn to face her. Jaw clenching and unclenching, he stared for a few maddening seconds.

  “You shouldn’t have come.”

  With crisp, efficient strides, he moved past her to a group of boulders, stopping in front of a large one battered by weather, and what appeared to be marks, as if someone had beaten it with a bat.

  “Neither should you,” she said. “Your family is throwing the barbeque.”

  He ripped the hat off his head, thrust a hand through his hair and muttered a few choice words. Twisting around, he set his very fine butt against the boulder and sighed, staring at the hat in his hand.

  Since Connor marooned her, and there was only one horse, she felt confident Kade wouldn’t leave her, no matter how tough it might be to stay and face whatever problems arose. She walked over to stand in front of him.

  She wanted very much to ask him what was wrong. To
get him to talk, because she knew he needed to talk, to get everything out in the open and face his demons before he could heal. But by the tight set of his jaw and shoulders, she knew he was still too closed up.

  He needed to be loosened.

  And she knew exactly how to do that…

  Without a word, she took the hat from his hands and set it on the boulder. When he opened his mouth, she put her finger over his lips and shook her head. It wasn’t time to talk, yet. It was time to feel.

  Getting the impression the spot had meaning, she intended to add to the trend. Whether it was good or bad didn’t matter. She planned to add some very good memories to the place. Right now.

  Cupping his jaw, she pressed into him, inhaling near his neck. Damn, he smelled good. So male…so Kade. She trailed her lips across his stubble, working her way to his neck where she sank her teeth. His inhale echoed around them, but he didn’t touch her, didn’t move, just clutched the damn boulder.

  “It’s okay,” she said against his skin. “Let me in, Kade. Feel me.”

  He shook his head. “No. I’m too broken.”

  His words and rough, desolate tone slayed her—hit deep—and she had all she could do not to break down in front of him.

  “I can’t. I won’t.” He grabbed her arms and tried to pry her away. “Brandi, please. Let go. You deserve better. Someone who isn’t tainted.”

  She tightened her hold. “No. I deserve you. I want you. No one else, Kade. You hear me? No one else.”

  “But, don’t you understand,” he said against her temple, his voice hoarse with emotion, sounding raw to the bone. “I’m not whole. I’m a broken man.”

  She nodded, then kissed his jaw. “Use me, Kade. I’m your glue.”

  He inhaled deep, then buried his head in her neck and held her so tight she could barely breathe. But, God, it was worth it. It was so worth it because he let go of his emotions. Let go of everything he’d been holding back. The man finally opened up and let her see his pain. He slid to the ground, but didn’t release her.

  For several minutes they clung to each other, her straddling his lap, cradling his head to her chest as she reassured this special man she was there for him. Would always be there for him. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Kade her true feelings, but was worried it might somehow put more pressure on him, and she sure didn’t want to do that.