Cowboy 12 Pack
Page 82
He’d like to know what she was thinking. He searched for something to say that wouldn’t bring up last night, but every question, every comment led back to his trailer. He settled on silence, too.
Fifteen minutes later, Chase pulled into the parking ramp of Children’s Hospital. His anxiety left him. This was the one place over the last four months where he felt like himself again and not like a Hollywood fake. He wanted to share that feeling with Reno.
He helped her out of the car. Her surprised expression calmed him further. She didn’t know this side of him. All she knew was the man in the tabloids and the man who’d been trying to seduce her for four months. Tonight, this was the real man.
He opened the trunk and took out his guitar case.
“Are you performing?”
“Not really. Just singing a few songs.” With his hand on her lower back, he led her to the lobby desk. Two of the receptionists and the security guard recognized him, and smiled.
“Mr. Tanner.” One of the receptionists stood. “We weren’t expecting you this evening.” She handed him a visitors’ pass.
He leaned closer, grinned, and poured on the Southern accent. “I know it’s not quite regulation, but can I bring my girlfriend with me tonight? I can vouch for her.”
The woman visibly melted under his gaze. “I can make an exception this one time.” She wrote out the pass with barely a glance at what her pen was doing, and not even a brief shift of her eyes toward Reno. Yeah, it was shameless the way he used his smile. She handed him the pass. “Can I tell the fifth floor you’re on your way up?”
He nodded. “Thanks, Marlene. Much appreciated.” He tipped his hat, took Reno’s hand, and they walked to the elevators. The only sound as they rode up to five was the canned music, and he took a moment to brace himself for the worst. The cancer unit had the sickest kids. Sometimes he didn’t recognize them from week to week, depending on how hard their treatments hit them. It helped to have Reno’s hand, warm and solid, in his. He glanced at her.
She looked up at him with a tiny wrinkle creasing her brow. “You never mentioned this.”
He shrugged and struggled to find a response. How did he tell her he’d stumbled into fame too easily? Everything fell into place without him doing much of anything. He hadn’t paid his dues on the way up and this was his way of giving back. Proving to himself that he was a good person, that he deserved the good things.
As the doors opened, a nurse cheered. “Yay! We’re so happy to see you! We’re gathering up the children, and we set a chair in the playroom for you.”
“Thank you.”
Reno’s eyes opened wide. What did she think about all this?
He tugged her along with him, and when the kids were in place, he played for almost an hour. A few parents stood in the back of the room, the mobile kids danced, the ones in wheelchairs wiggled and clapped, and everyone sang along. A few called out their favorite songs and Chase was hard-pressed to remember the words to some of them, but he’d gotten good at making up new ones.
Reno sat smack in the middle of the kids on a tiny chair, her knees nearly up to her chin. She sang along too, clapped, and talked with the children. His chest filled with warmth each time he looked at her.
A nurse popped her head into the room. “Bedtime, everyone. Say thank you to Mr. Tanner, and start heading back to your rooms.”
“Aw!”
“Already?”
Chase stood and set his guitar in its case. “I’ll be back in a few days.”
One little girl with IV lines into her stomach started crying. Her mother picked her up, brought her to Chase. “Can she give you a hug?”
His throat choked shut, and all he could do was nod.
“Cassie, thank Mr. Tanner for singing for you.”
Cassie released her mother’s neck and grabbed a hold of his. Her little body was like a warm, soap-scented bird in his arms. “Tank you for singing.” She kissed him full on the mouth.
A sweet-hot burn grew behind his eyes. “You’re welcome, Cassie.” It came out a whisper.
She stared at him, her tiny arms light as feathers against his neck. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I…love you, too.” Chase forced back the swell of tears as he handed her to her mother. They padded away and he caught Reno’s gaze.
Tears ran from her eyes down her cheeks.
He watched her, unmoving, unable to breathe for fear the tears would leak from his own eyes. In his side vision, the colors of the princess castle, toy trucks, and pretend kitchen blurred a bit. He’d love to have a kid. Maybe two. A boy and a girl. When he imagined his own little girl, she looked a lot like Reno. She’d make a great mom. Patient and understanding. Smart and kind.
“How often do you come here?” Reno stood.
He swallowed the lump of emotion. “Whenever I can get away.” His voice came out weak. “Visiting hours are about the same as studio hours, so it isn’t as often as I’d like.”
“Why a children’s hospital?” She brushed the tears from her face.
He closed the hasps on the guitar case and stood it on its side. “I need to do things to help.” He almost added that he loved children, but he’d probably start crying like one if he did. It was just so damn unfair that tiny little ones had to get so sick.
Okay, he had to think of something else—horse manure, politics, oil spills.
“In Texas do you visit hospitals too?” She took an uneven breath.
“Yeah. I make the rounds. There are four children’s hospitals close to home.” His voice was almost back to normal.
“It’s wonderful that you do this.” She came to him and set her hands on his chest. “Thank you for bringing me here. This is what I needed to end a perfect four months.”
“Perfect?” His voice pitched high. Was he part of the mix that made it perfect for her?
“Yes, this will make my last two days here easier to accept.”
Accept. He had to accept it, because she seemed to. Tomorrow night they were going their separate ways. Maybe they’d see each other once in a while, but their schedules were damn near opposite. He had a long concert tour coming up, and she was teaching a class. With her in his arms, he plotted ways to keep her in LA. He didn’t want to let this go. He tugged her against him. He had so much to say.
A doctor sped past the door, stopped and looked in the window, then shuffled away.
She stepped back. “We should go.”
“All right.”
They left the hospital, making small talk as he drove to their hotel. They were both quiet through the lobby and up the elevator. At her door, he took her hand. “You wanna talk now?”
She nodded and heaved a sigh. “Yes.”
*
RENO HANDED CHASE her key card and he opened the door, pushing it wide for her to go in ahead of him.
She stepped inside, flipped on a light, and heard the door close behind them. Shrugging out of her coat, she set it and her purse on the table and turned to face him. She should be the one to start this conversation, to apologize and assure him she wasn’t really the insane woman she’d appeared to be in his trailer yesterday. No opening line popped into her head, though.
He stayed back in the shadows, staring at her. “You look great tonight.”
“Thanks.” Reno licked her lips and tasted the red, smudge-proof lipstick. She smoothed her hands over her hips. The red satin dress was a little wrinkled, but she felt sexy in it, perched on three-inch black pumps.
He didn’t move.
She gestured toward the living room. “Beer?”
“Uh uh. I’m not comin’ any closer until I know where I stand.”
After all their long talks, she knew she was dealing with a man who viewed life as black and white. This was definitely a gray area. “It’s not that simple, Chase. I—”
“Just yes or no. Will you give me another chance?” His voice softened, and his lips pressed tightly together.
She appreciated that he
didn’t just seduce his way into her bedroom. He’d taken the time to bring her to the hospital with him, and he let her steer this conversation. “On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“That we sit and talk about what happened.”
Using an index finger, he pushed his hat back on his head. The light hit his face and illuminated his grin. “Whatever you want, Reno.”
God, she loved it when he said her name deep and slow. She held out her hand.
He pressed his palm to hers and she led him to the living room.
“I could use that beer now, if you’re still offerin’.”
She opened the mini-fridge. “Any of these look good?”
He reached in for a longneck bottle. “Thanks. You want one?”
“No, thanks.” She strolled across the room to the couch. “I had wine at the cocktail party this afternoon, and it just about put me out cold.” She sat and crossed her legs.
He was frozen, the beer cap in his hand, his eyes intense.
She bit her cheek to keep from smiling. Evidently he liked what he saw: the high heels, short skirt, and what Tracy called her “really fine, ass-hugging dress.”
He worked his jaw for a moment, took a long pull on his beer, then strode over to sit beside her.
She rounded up her courage and recalled the words of apology she’d rehearsed all afternoon. “Chase, I’m sorry I freaked out last night. I drank a little too much beer, and then the tequila, then seeing that drawer full of condoms—”
“Let me explain—”
“Now, wait. I’m not asking for explanations. Just hear me out, okay?”
He nodded, but looked like it took a lot of self-control for him to keep his mouth closed.
“I’m sure you…” She wagged her eyebrows. “You see a lot of action, with all the buckle bunnies.”
He furrowed his brows. “Buckle bunnies? Those are women who chase after rodeo cowboys.” He grabbed his belt, showing her an average-size brass buckle. “I don’t wear a big buckle.”
He sounded so sincere she had to smile. “Okay, groupies, then. But let me finish.”
Exhaling loudly, he leaned back and put an arm across the top of the couch, but didn’t say anything. Was he complying with her request, or was there no way for him to deny he entertained groupies?
“Anyway, I’m not asking you for any sort of commitment. But I’d like to ask for a few concessions.”
“Okay.” The word left his mouth slow and gravelly.
She fidgeted and swallowed hard. The way he sat there staring at her, looking like he was ready to explode, had her jittery. “If we…” She took a breath. “If we become lovers, I won’t share you. No bunnies or groupies, or old girlfriend booty calls. Just us, until you move on to someone else.” She choked on the last words, but they needed to be said because she knew it would happen. Eventually he’d get bored with her, meet somebody flashier who’d turn his head, and he’d be gone.
All of a sudden, his eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, and he loudly set down his beer.
“And privacy. I’d like to keep us out of the tabloids, if possible.” She gestured flightily with her hand, speaking quickly to get it out before she lost her nerve. “I’m not saying we have to be secretive, but I don’t want to be plastered on the front of every tabloid the way you…” Oops. That just slipped out.
He groaned quietly, put one booted foot onto the opposite knee. It had to be killing him to keep quiet. His hands fisted.
“And I guess that’s all I can think of right now, other than your needing to work on your dirty talk. I was uncomfortable with the swearing and talking down to me.” She tipped her head. “I’m not used to that kind of thing.” Not used to men like Chase at all, really. She’d had four serious boyfriends, and their dirty talk was suitable for a Disney film compared to his smut in the trailer.
Chase stayed silent.
She waited a while, but he still didn’t speak. “Is that all okay?”
His eyes flashed danger. “Well, you said your piece, now I’m gonna say mine.”
Chapter Four
‡
CHASE STOOD AND stomped across the room leaving Reno sitting on the couch staring at his back. Suddenly, she felt the need for a drink.
When he turned to face her, he spread his feet apart, his hands fisted at his sides. “Last night, you wouldn’t let me explain, and I’m damn sure gonna set you straight now.” His low voice rumbled.
Reno swallowed, shaking a little inside. Not from fear, but desire. Something about the way he took control made her feel secure and…mushy inside. She didn’t expect him to grovel, but he came on surprisingly forceful. She hadn’t known that quality in a man before.
“The condoms were a gag. My drummer stuffed them in that drawer a couple months ago, and told me to use them all before filming ended.” His gaze locked with hers, his eyes shaded under his hat. “Did you see how many were in there?”
Reno opened her mouth to answer.
“All of them. I didn’t use any.” He stalked toward her. “You wanna know why?”
She just blinked and drank in his intensity.
He paused a second. “When I met you, I knew I’d found someone special. But I didn’t want to believe it at first. I had to test it, and poke at it, and stir it up some, but you’re real.” His brow furrowed, and his stared, unmoving. “You’re as nice as you seem and as smart as they come, and you’re way too good for a hick like me.”
“Too good? No, Chase—” She stood and reached out her hand toward him, but he backed away.
“Let me get this said. I lose my concentration when you’re close.”
Reno clasped her hands in front of her. She wanted so badly to be in his arms, she pressed her knees together to keep from running to him.
“I’ve been lonely my whole life, Reno.” He paced across the small space. “I thought it would never end, but then I met you. Remember that first day we were introduced? We talked for an hour, and I couldn’t believe my luck.” He glanced at her. “You’re beautiful and your body is fantastic, but you’re a good person. And that’s what makes me crazy for you.” He turned away and strode to the bar, resettling his hat on his head.
Her knees turned to pudding and she sank to the couch, her head spinning from his admission. What was he saying? It sounded almost like…he loved her?
He leaned back against the bar, hands on the countertop, elbows bent. “There hasn’t been anyone else since the day we met, Reno.” His eyes darkened, and his lips thinned. “You’ve got to believe me when I tell you how important you are to me.”
A cry escaped her lips. How could this be happening? All those months, she worked at being his friend, sensing he was as alone and lost in LA as she was. Recognizing that his fame put him out of her reach, she’d been okay with that. Now he wanted more? Was there any way to make it last? Their lives were so different. So many obstacles stood between them.
When she didn’t speak, he tipped his head down. “I’m not saying I expect you to feel the same, not right away, anyhow.” His voice changed, became unsure, and his words touched her soul.
“Chase.” She did feel the same, but the confession stuck in her chest. She wished she were impulsive enough to scream, “I love you, Chase Tanner!” but this was too quick. Things like this didn’t happen to her. Fairy tales were for dreamers, not realists, and she was the most cautious, pragmatic, sensible person she knew.
His arms dropped to his sides. He squared his shoulders and met her gaze. “But you don’t ever have to worry about my cheating on you, or talking crazy in the bedroom like I did last night. That was stupid of me, and I apologize.”
She loved this man. She’d been ready to walk away from it, but now she didn’t have to.
He came toward her and sat on the coffee table in front of her. Slowly, he took her hands. “I want to try and make this work.” His eyes darted then stared into hers. “Do you?”
“Chase, yes.” She smiled, and sq
ueezed his hands. Maybe this could work. Maybe it would if she took a chance, became a dreamer. She whispered, “I feel the same about you.”
He closed his eyes for a second then tipped his head back. “Yee-haw!” He stood, pulling her up with him. “You’ve been so closed off lately, I couldn’t tell what was going on with you.”
She pressed her hand to his chest over his heart. “I was protecting myself. You’re a big country star, and I’m just a farm girl. You’re way out of my league.”
He shook his head and laughed. “Baby, that’s how I feel about you. You’re smart, and literate, and you wrote a whole book.”
Giggling, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re right. We’re a matched pair, aren’t we? Two talented, insecure artists who just happened to bump into each other at the right time.”
He tugged her against him “Speaking of bumping, we have some unfinished business.”
*
CHASE’S BODY HEATED where Reno pressed against him. He tipped his head and claimed her lips. She was his now, and he meant to stoke her into a blaze that would set the sheets on fire. Her kiss was sweet and tender, but when he grabbed her ass and squeezed, he suddenly held a wildcat.
She snagged a fistful of the back of his shirt and tugged up while her other hand slid down his bared back past the waistband of his jeans. Hungrily, her tongue circled his, tickled the roof of his mouth, and retreated.
His tongue followed hers, tasting every inch of her, her teeth, her cheeks, and her pointy little tongue that he wanted down low between his legs, licking his balls. His hips jerked at the thought. Damn it, he’d be coming faster than was respectable, but she had no idea how long it’d been since he’d had a woman. Yeah, since his shitty girlfriend experience with Jorjia two years ago, he’d stuck with groupies and high-class hookers, and women in bars, but they were just distractions. The first time he saw Reno, all that stopped.
She was the woman, and his life was changing real damn fast.
Lifting her into his arms, he carried her to the bedroom.
She gazed up at him, her eyes unfocused, her lips parted and swollen from his kisses. “Waited so long for this.”