by Elodie Colt
Jesse won’t welcome me with open arms, either, should he return sooner. I was dead to him the moment the doctors told us about Lana’s paraplegia, and I wouldn’t put it past him to strangle me in my sleep, brother or not.
But if I go down, he goes down with me. And I can’t wait to see if he’s got the guts to come clean.
So, you see, I’ve got it all covered. No matter how this ends, I’m ready for it.
At least, that was what I thought until my eyes fell on Miss Kingston in her hot-as-hell librarian outfit. Before round two last night, I was close to asking her to put on those fucking glasses again because they were such a turn-on. Damn, I swear this girl is every man’s dirty fantasy.
And here comes the problem. I’m slowly falling for her easy smiles, witty answers, and milky thighs. I’ve been here in Florida for barely a week, but now and then, I imagine the two of us sitting on this porch and making plans about that little cottage house she wants.
Anyway, it won’t take long until I have to pack my things and be off. Either, Jesse keeps our little secret and reclaims his place at Ruby’s side while I try to slink out the back door, or he yanks away the blanket covering this ugly truth, and I’ll be forced to watch Ruby’s heart break.
Can’t say which outcome I prefer.
I want her to know the truth. To know who I am. To know who Jesse is, and what he’s doing behind her back. But I don’t want to see the pain making those green eyes shimmer with tears—a pain I’ve inflicted with every fucking lie.
A door smashing behind me makes me jolt, and I whirl around to see Leo shuffling out with a cup of coffee in her hand. I save myself a friendly ‘good morning’ when she shoots me a glare, opting for scooting over my chair to make room for her instead. She plops down in the seat next to me while I snatch my phone to check my emails.
For a good five minutes, neither of us talk, but I feel her heavy gaze on me, and she doesn’t even try to do it subtly.
“Is there anything you want to say?” I ask at last, my eyes on my phone.
“I’m not sure,” she replies, and I look up as she purses her lips.
“That’s a first,” is my witty remark, knowing by now that Leo doesn’t mince her words, so I don’t bother with a friendly tone, either. She despises people on principle, and Jesse seems to be high on her list.
She shrugs. “My shrink told me to wait and think before I speak and do any damage.”
I cock a brow in surprise. The girl is over-the-top weird, but her honesty is refreshing. “You hate my guts, so feel free to say whatever is bugging you.”
“Hate is such a hard word. I hate child molesters, asparagus, and the shade flamingo,” she muses, but I know there’s more to it, and she proves me right. “And liars.”
Placing my phone on the table, I give her my full attention. The question is, is she referring to the Jesse she knows or the Jesse I’m pretending to be? “Your point?”
“I don’t trust you.” Clever girl.
“You don’t have to.”
“No, but Ruby does.” Yeah, and she’d be wise not to trust me, either. I remain silent, keeping my cool while Leo downs her coffee with a loud slurp and stands up. “Well, at least you finally fuck her the way she deserves. Last night was the first time I ever heard her scream, and that’s a shame considering it’s been five years, don’t you think?” And with that, she shuffles back inside the house, leaving me dumbstruck but at the same time jubilant.
Lifting my cup, I toast to an invisible Jesse. “One to zero for me, bro.”
~~~
It turns out that Google Maps Street View comes in quite handy for what I’m looking for, and after spending a few hours sightseeing online, I know every street, shop, and park in West Palm Beach.
I’m going to take Ruby to the Mounts Botanical Garden today, something that surprised her judging from the stupefied look she gave me. I guess Jesse didn’t take her out a lot. In fact, it seems he didn’t do shit with her at all, letting their relationship slowly run down the drain. So, I’m going to show Ruby how it’s supposed to be, hoping that, by the end of next week, she’ll turn her back on Jesse and find a man who can make her happy. The thought that I will never be that man makes me seethe inside, but I try not to dwell on it and focus on the now.
“It’s so beautiful,” Ruby gushes, trailing her gaze over all the ponds and tropical plants. “Why have we never been here before?” Her eyes dart up to me, and I drape an arm around her, pulling her closer and enjoying the bountiful view her strapless top provides.
“Guess we’ve just been too absorbed in our work, all the time thinking about our future while the only future that really matters is this one.” I squeeze her, and Ruby sends me a solemn smile. I can see it all playing out on her face… The question at what point her relationship went down the wrong road. What mistakes she made. What she could have done better.
It’s not your fault, girl. It’s Jesse’s. And now, also mine.
“How about that spot?” I point to a patch of lush, green grass next to a sea of colorful flowers.
“Perfect,” she agrees, and I fan out a blanket while Ruby opens a backpack to arrange everything for our picnic. I thought it was a good idea to let her pack all the stuff as I don’t know shit about Ruby’s eating habits, but soon, I see the flaw in my great plan…
She also packed everything Jesse likes.
Hummus sandwiches with olives. Quinoa salad. Grilled artichokes. And a lot of stuff with blue cheese. Gag.
I opt for a melon-prosciutto skewer for starters, trying to come up with an excuse about why I can’t eat what Ruby has prepared most of the afternoon, but I fear there’s no way out. Karma has kicked me in the ass at last.
And speaking about Karma…
“Hey, about our vacation…” Ruby starts, popping a grape into her mouth. “I was thinking we could go sooner. Sam and Leo are off for their honeymoons tomorrow, and Skyla is on that surfer camp. What do you say?”
I slowly munch on one of the disgusting sandwiches, trying not to make a face. Vacation? Where? How? With whom? Fuck!
“Uh… yeah, sounds great,” I mumble when I realize there’s no way I can have a rain check on this.
Jesse was about to stay in Venezuela for six weeks. He returned after four, so technically, he’s got two weeks off—two weeks he spends in North Dakota, but Ruby is clueless, so there’s really no way around this.
The catch is, I have no fucking clue where they want to go! For all I know, they could have already decided to visit Jamaica, and chances are I’ll put my foot in it if I ask Ruby what place she has in mind.
“I just can’t decide where to go,” she goes on, oblivious to me sighing in relief. “London? Venice? Paris?”
Oh God, please no. I can’t even say which option is the worst.
London is a nice city, but the food is as bad as the weather. Venice is super expensive but has nothing to offer other than dirty water, seagull shit, and tons of tourists. And Paris? Yeah, city of love my ass. It’s dirty, it stinks, and most of the people are rude and freaky drivers. Been there, done that.
“Why are you making such a face?” Ruby prompts when she notices my frown.
“Tell you what…” Forcing down the last bite of olives and mold cheese, I fish out my phone, opening my favorite app before handing it to her. “Try this.”
“‘Wherever It Takes Me?’” she asks, clearly skeptical.
“It’s an app that randomly chooses a location on earth. Wherever it strikes, this is where we’ll spend our vacation,” I explain, smirking when I see the puzzlement on her face.
“Are you kidding? We can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
She laughs, thinking I’m joking. “Because it’s… it’s insane!”
This time, I show my full grin and chuck her chin, leaning in until I smell her flowery shampoo. “No, girl, you just need to open up a bit. Like you did last night when I banged you against every surface.”
He
r cheeks take on the same shade of the roses surrounding us, and I steal a slow and passionate kiss from her, tasting the layer of raspberry gloss on her lips. When I pull back, she gawks at me for a moment, then looks down at my phone in her hand as if unsure what to do.
I’ve once read ‘variety is the spice of life.’ It’s true. The more you experience, the more exciting your life will be. Ruby is a raw gem, and Jesse doesn’t know how to handle it. I just want to make her shine again.
“Click the button,” I urge her on.
After a moment of hesitance, Ruby taps on Off You Go!. I lean over her shoulder, and we both watch the digital globe spinning until the pin strikes at… Jerash.
“Jerash?” Ruby blinks. “Where the hell is that?”
“In Jordan,” I enlighten her with a chuckle.
I was there a few years ago swimming in the Dead Sea and visiting all the ruins. Truly, an amazing country. I’d be excited to go there again.
Ruby jolts her gaze from my phone, clearly baffled. “Jordan? That’s in the middle of nowhere!”
“Nowhere is everywhere, baby. Jordan is beautiful.”
“How would you know? You’ve never been there before.” I pinch my lips. Touché. “Besides… flying to Jordan for just one week? We need two days to recover from the jet lag!”
Speaking about flying. Booking the flights might become an issue. If Ruby sees my name on the ticket, I’m busted. Unless…
“How about we ask Daniel to charter that jet for us?” I ask in a hopeful tone. “That thing has a super comfy king-size bed. You won’t even feel the jet lag.”
Ruby mulls over this before she tapers her eyes at me, and I know I’m in for a lecture. “What’s all this about, Jesse? I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” Because you never did. “Ever since you came back, you haven’t talked about your work. You laughed when I told you about my bad grade. You take me out on dates. You want to fly to a no-name country just like that. You whisper sweet things in my ear. You talk dirty in bed. You make love to me like you’ve never done before. For the first time in years, it feels like…”
“Like?” I prompt when she struggles for words.
“Like you love me with all your heart,” she confesses in hushed tones, and I swear her words heat me up like a flood of sun rays. No one has ever said those words to me. Not my parents, not Lana, not Jesse. And now, the one person I’ve screwed good and proper declares her love for me.
Ruby’s eyes ping-pong between mine as she waits for me to say something. This is when I realize that there is no him anymore. There’s just me. Jesse might have won her heart, but I’m its keeper.
“I do,” I confess in a hoarse voice full of sorrow, and it’s the first time I’m truthful to her. “I love you more than anything, and I’m sorry I haven’t been the man you deserved,” I go on, taking the weight of Jesse’s mistakes onto my shoulders.
Ready to carry them. Ready to redeem them.
For her.
“I thought you wanted to visit Europe,” Kendra says, leaning with her full weight on my suitcase, and Leo closes the zipper with a hard yank.
I utter a laugh. “Yeah, somehow Jesse persuaded me to go on a vacation in the Middle East instead.”
“Aaron has been on tour in Jordan once,” Kendra mentions. “Said it was amazing there.”
“Knowing you, you might have more fun riding a camel in the desert than hiking up the Eiffel Tower, anyway,” Leo points out, and I crack up at the mental image of Jesse and me sitting on a camel.
Two honks resound outside, and I walk over to the window to see a cab halting in front of the house.
“Right on time,” Leo says, and I pull both girls in for a hug.
“Say thank you to Daniel for me. He’s amazing.”
“Will do. I’ll go pack my stuff now. Have fun, you two.”
“Wish you a great honeymoon, Leo.” I turn to face Kendra. “Well, it seems you’ve got the house all to yourself now. Are you going to throw a party?”
Kendra laughs. “Believe it or not, but the thought of being alone here gives me the creeps. I was thinking about visiting Skyla in Miami Beach, watching her hit the waves and get a little tan.”
“Sounds good.” I give her a peck on the cheek, then heave my suitcase down the stairs.
Jesse steps out when I approach while the cab driver loads my stuff into the trunk. “Ready for our trip?” Jesse asks, pulling me in for a kiss.
“Yes. Let’s go camel riding.”
He smacks my ass in response, and I yelp. “I’d rather you ride me, beautiful. I smell way better,” he adds with a wink.
On our way to the airport, Jesse shows me numerous pictures of Jordan on his phone, all the while gushing about the country’s rich history and the incredible landscapes. I can tell he’s truly looking forward to going there, and I have to say, he’s slowly but surely infecting me with his excitement.
The flight to the Middle East is like a twelve-hour spa treatment. The king-size bed feels like heaven, the shower is big enough to have comfortable sex in ten different positions, and the food is so good, I’m not above asking the flight attendant to pack me an extra portion.
“Honey, we’re vacationing outside that jet,” Jesse reminds me after the landing, and I groan in protest when he turns off the massage mode of my leather seat. Bending down, he whispers into my ear, “I’ll give you a massage tonight, and I promise to switch on the happy ending feature just for you, love.”
Jeez, we’ve had sex multiple times on board, and I’m already hot all over again. When we get off the jet, though, my panties are not the only damp clothing as the scorching sun and hot, dry air makes me sweat within seconds.
We settle in a small but pretty hotel room in Jerash first, getting familiar with the Arab culture and the people. It immediately becomes clear that the Jordanians love travelers, greeting their visitors with warmth and generosity. The people nod their heads in respect when we pass, welcoming us and even offering tea as a refreshment. English seems to be a common language here, and I’m surprised to see that the Muslims have no issue with our shirt-and-flip-flop attire.
We start day one with a tour through Jerash, and while I’ve never been overly interested in ancient ruins and old artifacts, I don’t know where to look first as we stroll through the gigantic arches and plazas. After hours of hiking through the remains of the old temples, we make a stop at a little restaurant where they serve us trays with lamb, rice, vegetables, and dishes of yogurt. I reach for a piece of flatbread, but Jesse slaps my hand all of a sudden.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Never eat with your left hand in an Islamic country,” Jesse cautions. “It’s considered a bad omen.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Although I’d gotten plenty of sleep on the flight here, I start to feel the jet lag, but that doesn’t stop Jesse from waking me at an ungodly hour the next day so we can be off to Amman with a rental.
“Not what you’ve expected?” Jesse asks with a grin when he notices my stunned expression at seeing all the modern hotels and commercial buildings of Jordan’s capital city.
“Um, not really. It looks a little like Dubai in the center of Greece.”
Jesse barks out a laugh. “Yeah, it reflects a Western influence. There are some who say Amman wants to imitate Dubai.”
We stop for dinner at a local bar where we enjoy a shisha along with honeyed watermelons and figs, then stroll down the mall hand in hand, watching the folk on the streets knotting carpets, crafting leather cloths, and making pottery.
“Most of the country is desert, and natural resources are scarce,” Jesse explains when we cruise through fertile valleys, barren lands, and sand mountains. “As far as I know, only four percent of the land is cultivated.”
I steal a glance at him. Jesse seems to know this country pretty well. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s been here already. “How do you know all this?”
“Um… I read the tourist guide,”
he mumbles after a pause, causing me to chuckle.
“Bullshit. Remember when we went to Yosemite to visit El Capitan two years ago, and the park ranger handed you a guide? You threw it into the trash, convinced you didn’t need it. In the end, we took the wrong exit and left Yosemite without even seeing the summit from afar.”
Jesse snorts. “Yeah, I’ve learned my lesson.”
We spend the following two days with a hike up to the summit of Mount Nebo—a mountain providing a marvelous view of the Holy Land and the valley of the River Jordan—and take a swim in the Dead Sea, floating in the water for hours. Next, we visit the great ancient city Petra, and I’m completely overwhelmed by its breathtaking grandeur.
I laugh when I see a camel driver waiting for us with two camels in front of Petra’s ruins. “So, this is why you wanted me to wear long pants today,” I say, and Jesse grins, fishing two bandannas and sunglasses from his backpack. I approach the animal with hesitant steps. “You know I failed big-time in that horse-riding lesson two years ago.”
“Lucky you, this isn’t a horse,” Jesse says, motioning me closer when the camel driver makes the camel lower itself to the ground. “Swing your leg over the middle of the humps and lean backward. Camels stand up with their hind legs first, and you don’t want to make a face plant in the sand.”
I do as I’m told but shriek when the animal starts to move. “Easy,” Jesse croons with a chuckle. “Camels have an odd, jerky gait. Sway with the movements and hold onto the saddle.”
Yeah, easier said than done. After ten minutes of trotting through the desert, I already feel my butt cheeks getting sore. We’re lucky to see a blood-red sunset, and I have to admit, riding a camel through natural stone arches and stunning chasms has its charms.
“Where are we going?” I ask after we’ve crossed a narrow gorge opening up to the wide desert of Wadi Rum. “It’s getting dark. Shouldn’t we go back and find a room for tonight?”
The cheeky grin on Jesse's face tells me I’m in for another surprise. “This is our room for tonight.” He points ahead, and I follow his gaze to a dark line on the horizon, squinting.
