by Susan Stoker
Chrissy shook her head. “It’s not like you’re undercover, Meghan. You’re writing a book and blogging. It will just make your readers feel like they know more about you.”
Meghan sighed. She’d lived through worse. How bad could the comments be about her wearing the ridiculous hat? Just so long as no photos of the purple monster made it on line. She’d never live that one down.
Meghan hadn’t realized that Tony could whip up more than standard bar food until she saw the entrees, but she should have. Who goes to culinary school to learn how to make chicken wings and nachos? After they’d stuffed themselves, Meghan cut the cake. It was the best she’d ever had. Or maybe it was the sugar high talking. She wished she’d asked Pam for bakery recommendations before she’d ordered her cake. But it was too late now.
It was early evening by the time the party broke up. After the rest of the team left, Rafe and Ryan were taking the gifts out to Rafe’s truck, giving Chrissy and Meghan a few moments alone.
“You okay?” Chrissy asked, her facial expression filled with concern. “You seem really stressed.”
“I do?” Meghan shrugged. She was, but she’d thought she’d been doing a good job of keeping it to herself. “I’m really fine. Maybe just a little tired.”
“Bull shit. You might fool everyone else, but not me. I’ve known you too long, and all your tells are there.”
“Tells? This isn’t poker.”
“No, but it’s the same thing. So, spill it. What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing—”
Chrissy raised her eyebrow.
Fuck. Of all the people in this world, Meghan had to be best friends with someone who never forgot a thing. Pushing a strand of her wavy hair behind her ear, she met Chrissy’s eyes.
“Okay. After we had to postpone the wedding last year because of the mission, I’m just stressing out it’s going to happen again. Lizzie and Craig will be here in a couple of days with Mom and the kids. I don’t want them to come all this way only to have it canceled again.”
“Do you think they’ll care? Seriously? They’ll still have a blast. But the odds of that happening are slim. They just got back last week. The Black Eagles Team isn’t the only one here. Others could go instead. You know that.”
“I do. I tell myself I’m overthinking everything, but I can’t help it. I’m so worried I’m going to lose him before he’s really mine.” Meghan sighed.
She hadn’t wanted to admit what she was really worried about. But the “what ifs” were killing her. Over the last few months she’d been having nightmares about the wedding, and they’d been getting more frequent. Each time she had the dream, Rafe died before he could come back to her.
“But he’s already yours. The wedding just makes it legal, but he’s been yours since the beginning. Now, suck it up. You’re the spitfire, remember? Nothing stands in your way if you want something,” Chrissy said.
She was right. Meghan never gave up, even if it was something stupid like going to Afghanistan to rescue her brother from the Taliban. In six days, she’d marry her soulmate and have her happily ever after come hell or high water.
Meghan sat at the kitchen table in her pjs and sipped her coffee as she made notes in her planner and checked the to-do lists spread across the table. Rolling her shoulders to release some tension, she sighed. The wedding was in four days. Four. Days. Just three more sleeps until she and Rafe would finally exchange vows. But instead of being thrilled, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something horrible was about to happen.
When Rafe had suggested eloping, she’d immediately said no. But now that she thought about it, maybe it would have been a better idea. She’d wanted their families to be there, their friends. It was the right thing to do. So why was she a wreck now? Did all brides go through this stress? Or only the ones marrying Navy SEALs.
Her family was arriving later that day, depending on traffic. Her sister and brother-in-law, Craig, decided to drive over from Atlanta. Craig Jr. and Lia were unhappy to miss out on the plane ride, but Meghan’s mom’s Alzheimer’s had gotten worse. Trying to make sure she didn’t wander off in the airport would have been a nightmare.
After deciding she’d wasted enough time sitting and worrying, Meghan tucked her lists into the planner. It was only mid-morning, so she still had a few hours to vacuum and clean the bathrooms again. She wanted it to be perfect when her family got there, even though it would be a tight fit for a couple of days. The night before the wedding, the guys were all going to stay at Jake’s house, and Dawn was coming over to spend the night with Meghan and Lizzie. It would be her last girl’s night while she was single. And that reminded her to add wine to her grocery list.
As Meghan finished cleaning, Lizzie sent a text to let her know they were about two hours away. The butterflies started fluttering in her stomach. Once her family arrived, it would be really real. Until then, it was still an abstract idea, even with her wedding gown hanging in the guest room closet. She had put an enormous sign that said, “do not open” on the door so Rafe wouldn’t see the dress until she was walking across the beach toward him.
Remembering she still needed to get to the store, Meghan jumped into the shower. As she was drying off, she heard a thud outside the door.
Taking a deep breath to keep her PTSD at bay, she called out, “Rafe?”
The door opened a second later, and Rafe stuck his head in. “Hey, spitfire. You okay? You sounded a little shaky.”
Meghan swallowed her fear. “Yeah, you just surprised me. I didn’t expect you home until around five.”
“Unfortunately, there’s been a change in plans.”
“What kind of change? The afternoon off, or—” Meghan didn’t like the way he wasn’t meeting her gaze as she followed him out of the bathroom. She shivered, and it wasn’t from standing in the bedroom in just a towel.
“It’s the ‘or.’ The other teams are all out on other missions. But this should be quick. I will be back for the wedding, I promise.” Rafe’s expression was grim, and his mouth had the twisted look he got when something upset him.
Meghan didn’t speak for a few moments, trying to gather her thoughts and not totally lose it. It wasn’t his fault. This was Rafe’s job, and she’d known it from the beginning. But their wedding was in four days, and this felt too close to her nightmare.
“There’s no one else who can go?” Meghan murmured.
Rafe pulled out his go bag and placed it on the bed. “No, baby. I’m sorry.”
He crossed the room and took her into his arms. Meghan wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled her head against his chest. His heat warmed the chill that settled in her chest and calmed the worry that slid down her spine.
She looked up at him. “Maybe we should—”
“No. Don’t even say it. I’ll be back in time. I promise.” Rafe tilted her chin up, so she’d meet his gaze.
Blinking back the tears that threatened to slide down her cheeks, Meghan nodded. She wanted desperately to believe him, but the “what ifs” wouldn’t stop popping up in her brain.
“You can’t make that promise, Rafe. I know all the shit that can go wrong.”
“I can this time.” Rafe’s expression begged her to believe him.
She’d try. The last thing she wanted was him worrying about her instead of focusing on whatever he needed to do.
Meghan nodded. “When are you leaving?”
“In an hour. I have to get back to base as soon as possible. I’m so sorry, spitfire. I know this is the worst possible timing.”
It was. It fucking sucked donkey balls. She wanted to yell and scream that it wasn’t fair. Couldn’t she just have her wedding without all this other shit happening? But what was the point? It wouldn’t change anything, and he’d just feel worse than he already did.
“It’s okay. Lizzie and Craig will be here soon. They’ll keep me plenty busy while you’re gone. Maybe I should go with you,” Meghan teased.
Rafe chuckled and th
en lowered his lips to hers. His tongue slid into her mouth and swept over hers. Her arms tightened around his waist as she melted against him.
With a sigh, he released her. “I—”
Meghan put her finger over his lips to stop him. She knew in her heart what he was going to say. “I’ll be fine. You go save the world and then get your ass back here, or I’ll hunt you down myself.”
Rafe waggled his eyebrows and flashed a toothy grin. “I’d pay money to see that. I’ll be okay, spitfire. You’ll see. I’ll be back before you have a chance to miss me.”
Meghan’s stomach twisted into knots as she sat on the bed, watching him check his bag.
“I love you, spitfire. Don’t worry, okay?” Rafe said one more time as he dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.
“I love you, big guy. Be careful.”
“Always.” Then with another smile, he was out the door.
She wanted a pity party, to toss herself onto the bed and cry and scream. Instead, she sucked it up and wiped the tears that slipped down her cheeks with the back of her hands. A tantrum wouldn’t solve anything. She had to hold on to her faith that it would be okay. That he’d be home in time. He’d promised. Nightmares be damned. Besides, her sister would be there soon, and she had things to do.
Two days later, Meghan, Lizzie, and Dawn were putting the finishing touches on the wedding favors at Meghan’s kitchen table. While they were tying the little ribbons with Meghan and Rafe’s name and the wedding date around the mugs, they chatted and drank coffee.
The kids were playing in the other room while Meghan’s mom napped. She’d been doing that a lot lately as the disease progressed. But neither Meghan nor her sister wanted to discuss what the future might bring. There would be time for that later; at least, Meghan hoped so.
Jake had dropped Dawn and her kids off earlier and set up a second PlayStation for the kids. It kept the arguing to a minimum since the girls were playing one game and the boys the other. It was great that they were all getting along and made it a lot easier on the adults.
After Jake finished with that, he took Lizzie’s husband Craig on a tour of Norfolk since it was his first trip to the area.
“I’m so glad Jake could get the day off to help entertain Craig. He’s been driving me crazy,” Lizzie said low enough so the kids wouldn’t hear from the other room.
It surprised Meghan to hear her sister complain. “What’s up? Trouble in paradise?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. He’s been stressing since we got here about work. It’s like he’s forgotten how to just relax and enjoy his family. He travels so much. I wonder if he prefers to be away.”
Meghan took a long look at the dark circles under her sister’s eyes and pinched expression. She’d been feeling sorry for herself and hadn’t even noticed that Lizzie needed her. Meghan felt like a selfish bitch and it made her heart hurt that she hadn’t been there for her.
Meghan got up and wrapped her arms around Lizzie’s shoulders. “I’m sure that’s not true. He loves you and the kids.”
“I don’t think he’s in love with me anymore. When he’s home, he’s exhausted. He hardly does any family stuff. He just sits in his office and works. We see him for meals and maybe some TV time in the evenings before the kids go to bed.” Lizzie sniffled and reached for a napkin to wipe her eyes.
Meghan sat back in her chair and nibbled on her lower lip, not sure what to say. She’d noticed Craig had been more aloof than usual since he’d gotten there, but thought it might be all the new people. Still, considering he worked in advertising, he should have jumped right in. If she found out he was cheating on her sister, she’d fucking kill him.
“Have you talked to him about it?” Dawn asked gently.
“Not yet. I know I should. But every time I work up the courage, we get interrupted. The kids come in, or he gets a phone call. It’s always something.”
“You need to talk to him, Liz, find out what’s going on instead of worrying about it. Maybe you just need to take some time off together,” Meghan suggested.
Dawn agreed.
“How am I supposed to do that? Between the kids and Mom, I barely have a moment to breathe. Charlie is no help. He’s always off somewhere or other on missionary work…”
“And I’m too far away to help anymore,” Meghan finished for her sister. Fuck me running. “I’m sorry, sis, we’ve dumped everything on your shoulders, and it’s not fair. How about we take the kids for a week over their next break? Mom, too? And you and Craig can plan a vacation for two.”
“Really?” Lizzie brightened. “That would be great. I need to see if Craig can get some time off—”
“Fuck that. You tell him he needs to.” Meghan knew she was pushing her sister, but someone needed to. “I can’t remember the last time you told me he took a vacation. That’s total bullshit. He works for a reputable company, and I’m sure he has enough time accrued to take two months off without worrying about it.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll do it. But now enough about me. You’re getting married in two days, and this time should be all about you.” Lizzie squeezed Meghan’s hand and smiled.
“I’m fine. Just worrying about Rafe as usual and hoping the groom and half the bridal party return before the wedding,” Meghan said, trying to sound humorous. But from the look on the other two women’s faces, she didn’t think she’d pulled it off.
“They’ll make it back.” Dawn tried to reassure her. “I’ve been bugging Jake about it, too, but he won’t tell me anything.”
“Does he know?” Lizzie asked.
“I’m pretty sure he does,” Dawn answered.
Meghan sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear, her stomach roiling from all the coffee and nerves. “It’s okay. Rafe promised me he’d be home in time. He said that nothing would keep him from being there.”
“And he meant every word. I know my brother. If he promised, he’ll be there,” Dawn said. “So, let’s stop thinking about all this sad stuff. What’s left on that to-do list of yours?”
“Mom, we’re hungry,” Cindy yelled from the living room.
Dawn rolled her eyes.
“We’re hungry, too,” Lia, Lizzie’s daughter, said from the doorway.
Meghan laughed. “How about we order pizza? Does that sound good?”
“Yes, pizza,” Chase and Craig exclaimed.
“I think they played us.” Lizzie grinned. “It sure seemed like a planned maneuver to me.”
Dawn laughed. “Oh yeah, they did.” Then turned to the kids, “Okay, while you’re waiting for it to come, go on back in the other room and play or I’ll come up with something for you to do.”
“Damn, woman. I need to take lessons from you,” Lizzie said in awe.
“Right? I need to make notes, so I know what to do, too,” Meghan said as she grabbed her phone off the table to order the pizza. “Everyone okay with one cheese and one pepperoni?”
“Yup, that’ll be good for my kids,” Dawn answered.
“Mine, too.” Lizzie grinned. “Actually, if it’s round, has cheese, and I call it pizza, it doesn’t matter what’s on it.”
After placing the order, Meghan checked her email since she’d gotten a notification. It was from the hotel. She clicked on it and breathed a sigh of relief, expecting the worst.
“What’s wrong, you look like you sucked on a lemon?” Lizzie asked.
“An email from the hotel. I expected there to be an issue, but they just want me to confirm the number of people. Once I do this, there’s no changing it.” A lump formed in Meghan’s throat.
“Yeah, so what’s the problem?” Dawn asked. “You’re not changing your mind about marrying my brother, are you?”
“Oh, hell no. It’s just…I don’t know. I’m worried. The wedding is in two days, and there’s been no word. Not that I expected it, but even so.” Meghan stared at her phone.
“I thought we had already decided he’d be here. Just confirm and then let’s open a bottle of wine.
I’m feeling the need for some grapes with this pizza. Any objections?” Lizzie asked.
“I think it’s an excellent idea. It’s five o’clock somewhere, right?” Dawn grinned.
As Meghan listened to Dawn and her sister, she responded to the email with the guest count confirmed. It wouldn’t be a huge wedding. They’d only invited thirty people. But every one of them was important to Rafe and Meghan.
Lizzie got out the wine glasses and went into the other room to grab a bottle from the wine rack in the living room.
Dawn reached across the table and squeezed Meghan’s hand. “Meghan, I know you’re worried. Trust me, I totally get it. But Rafe promised he’d be at the wedding. You need to trust in him if nothing else.”
“I do trust him. More than I’ve trusted anyone else ever,” Meghan said.
“Then stop worrying. These are your last few days being single. You need to enjoy yourself.”
“Is this one okay,” Lizzie asked as she came back into the kitchen with a bottle of pinot noir.
“Perfect,” Meghan responded.
As she got up to get the corkscrew, she replayed Dawn’s words in her head. She was right. Rafe had never let her down, and they’d been through plenty. He’d always been her dark knight, saving her and showing her the love she never expected to find. It was time to suck it up.
Wedding Day…
Meghan opened her eyes and squinted against the sunlight flooding the bedroom. At least the meteorologist hadn’t let her down. Sitting up, she stretched her arms over her head and ran her hands through her shoulder-length, black hair and pushed the remnants of the nightmare out of her thoughts. She wouldn’t give into the fear and worry.
She couldn’t believe it was after nine already. She never slept that late. But then again, they’d had three bottles of wine and a few shots of tequila at the impromptu bachelorette party the night before.
Chrissy and Miranda had brought the alcohol, and Sky showed up with chicken wings and nachos from the Ready Room. Even though Rafe and the rest of the Black Eagles weren’t back yet, Jake took Craig and all four kids back to his house so the women could enjoy their evening.
