by C. A. Harms
My head was spinning, or maybe the room was spinning. I’d had far too much scotch, but for the first time since I left New York, I felt as if my heart wasn’t splitting in two.
“What do you say you and me—” she leaned in farther, her lips hovering only inches from mine and trailed her soft, delicate tongue lightly over my lower lip “—go someplace quieter and get better acquainted?”
Now I’m a guy. And if a sexy, willing woman with a tight body and luscious tits threw herself at me, well, it would be wrong of me not to take her up on her offer.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued by your proposition.” I stood from the barstool, and the floor beneath me felt as if it literally fucking moved.
I stumbled forward, and she laughed when I wrapped my arms around her and used her for support. Once I was stable enough, I attempted to place some distance between us, but she had other ideas.
Little Ms. Eager gripped the back of my neck and pulled me closer, then covered my mouth with her lips. I stood there in the center of the hotel bar with a complete stranger shoving her tongue into my mouth as she practically dry-humped me.
I couldn’t think straight.
I’d wanted to forget. I’d wanted a distraction from the woman that deceived me and left my head so fucked up I truly didn’t know if I was coming or going.
Here was my chance.
For at least the weekend I could forget about it all. I could get lost in this sexy woman and hope that would give me the push I needed to get my life back on track.
I woke up still feeling hazy from a night of binge drinking. The longer I lay there in my hotel bed, the more memories of last night came flashing back.
The elevator, where an unfamiliar woman sucked on my neck as she rubbed her body against my hardening cock.
The hallway that led to my hotel room as we kissed and stumbled, knocking things over and catching the attention of the people in the rooms around us.
And then we were in my room, and there she stood before me, nearly naked and smiling.
Most men would have been on her so fast her head would spin, but fuck I stood there like a lost kid.
Because as I looked at the beautiful woman that wanted to give me a night to remember, all I could picture was Kinsley’s face.
Kinsley.
I’d said her name a million times in my head, and still it felt strange.
But that was her name. Kinsley was the woman I’d fallen in love with, yet she was just a lie. Everything about us was all a lie.
Still, I couldn’t bring myself to give in to the temptation before me.
I wanted to. More than anything I wanted to grab her, toss her on the bed, and fuck her seven ways from Sunday. But I just couldn’t do it. All I could do was turn my back to her and tell her to get dressed.
She argued and tried to convince me that she only wanted a weekend of the hottest sex of her life.
When those tactics didn’t work, she got angry. And when she realized nothing was going to change my mind, she left my room without even taking the time to put her dress back on.
I stretched out my arm to the empty space beside me and reassured myself that my memories of last night were accurate. Relief washed over me when I confirmed I was, in fact, alone.
There was no reason I couldn’t have gone through with nailing a gorgeous woman I didn’t know. Fuck, I had done that very thing more times than I could remember.
But I couldn’t make myself do it this time.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her fucking face or the sadness in her eyes when I walked away without a second thought. I had to get it out of my mind. Only I had no fucking idea how I was going to do that.
Now that I’d calmed down a little, I kept thinking I was missing something. Nothing about this made sense. Her feelings for me couldn’t have been just an act. What I felt for her was real too. We were real.
I refused to believe she and I didn’t have the connection I felt every fucking time I looked at her. Every time she touched me.
I thought I was ready to let go. I tried to force that idea into my head over and over. But in reality, she and I weren’t done yet.
Not until she told me why she lied.
I wanted the truth this time.
All of it.
KINSLEY
“I MESSED EVERYTHING UP,” I slurred as my head lolled to the side. “He was amazing and the perfect man in every sense. Yes, he’s pigheaded and set in his ways, but he made me feel like I was the only thing that mattered.”
Lex looked at me without his usually sassy expression.
“I blew it, because I should have just told him everything from the beginning.” I lifted my wineglass to my lips and took a sip. I should have stopped drinking long ago, but I didn’t want this haze to weaken. Sure, being drunk didn’t fully take the pain away, but it made it hurt a little less.
“You were scared.” Lex looked at me with sympathetic eyes. I should have despised that look, only today I embraced it. I curled in closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. I hadn’t had the type of support Lex was showing me in so long. He knew the truth now. And he understood. That was rare.
Hours ago, once I was able to pick myself up off the floor, I called Lex. He rushed over immediately and spent the entire evening with me as I rehashed what had happened between Ashton and I. I shared everything; about my past with Jase from the first time we met to watching him through the back window of the Suburban that whisked me away to safety.
And the moment he cupped my cheek and told me I was one of the strongest people he knew as tears ran down his face, I knew he was a true friend. He wasn’t angry that I’d lied, he was angry that I had handled everything on my own for so long.
Now I only wished I had the opportunity to tell Ashton the truth.
“He’s angry, but give it time.” Lex wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in closer. “He cares about you, Kinsley.” He chuckled lightly. “Feels weird calling you that,” he confessed.
And it felt weird hearing it. I’d never thought I would again.
We remained in this position for what felt like hours. Even though I didn’t cry hard, tears slowly seeped through.
I’d hurt a good man.
“I’m sure his brother the PI found out everything,” I explained to Rig. “And I don’t think Ashton will do anything with the information. Well, nothing other than continue using it as the ammunition he needs to keep hating me.”
“You’re being dramatic, sweetheart,” Rig assured me.
“You didn’t see his face or hear what he said. It was awful.” Every time I remembered the anger in his eyes, my stomach knotted with disgust. “I’ve tried to call him so many times I’ve lost count. I’ve texted him, and even Lex has been unable to reach him. Maybe it’s best if I just relocate.” The idea of leaving New York made my heart race with unease, but I was unsure of how to handle this.
“You aren’t going anywhere, kid. You need to relax,” Rig said calmly. Sometimes his lack of emotion drove me crazy. How could he not think this was all one fucked-up cluster of shit? Hadn’t he been paying attention?
“We’ll keep a lookout for any change in Jase’s activities. You need to keep your head held high and go about your life. Let us handle the shit.”
I rarely questioned Rig. After all, he wasn’t the kind of guy any sane person would argue with, but I was having a real hard time with this situation.
ASHTON
THE MOMENT THE WHEELS OF my jet touched down on the runway of JFK, I got even more anxious. I’d cleared my head. I’d done all I could to dispose of my anger over her deceit. Now I was ready to get to the bottom of this.
I turned my phone on with the intention of calling Kinsley to set up a time to talk and was surprised to find multiple messages from Lex.
Hell, when I left for L.A. I had nothing from him. But during one weekend, he’d gone crazy.
Lex: Did you even give her a chance to explain?
Lex: I just spent hours consoling Kinsley. It should have been you holding her.
He called her Kinsley. My stomach dropped because that meant he too knew she’d lied about everything.
I didn’t take the time to read any more of his messages.
Instead I waited impatiently for my pilot to get his shit together so I could get the fuck off this plane.
Murray was waiting at the car with the door open and a scowl on his face when I stepped off the staircase leading up to the jet. “Bad weekend, Murray?” I asked as I got into the backseat.
When he shut the door without a response, I assumed I was correct.
“The office or your penthouse first?” he asked without turning to face me. Apparently my driver was equally irritated with me. Had my employees all gotten together while I was out of town and decided I was the bad guy in all this?
“Is there something you need to say, Murray?” I’d know the man for more than ten years. He was an ex-Marine and worked with Knoxville for a while before I hired him. He was more like family now then just a driver and all-around security guy. But that sure as hell didn’t mean I would tolerate his attitude.
“Just glad to have you back, sir,” he said as if that would be explanation enough.
When I stared at him through the review mirror without telling him where to drive, he sighed in frustration.
“Lex is, as you know, a bit insane,” he began, and I didn’t disagree because Lex was so much more than just insane, he was exhausting. I nodded. “Listen, Ashton, I don’t know what happened between you and Ms. Masterson, but Lex seems real unhappy about the outcome. He’s been down my throat for more than twenty-four hours, and on more than one occasion I’ve considered using my Taser.” I chuckled, and he turned around in the seat to face me. “I can promise you that I am completely serious.”
I averted my eyes. “She lied, Murray, about everything.” I closed my eyes tightly. “Her name is Kinsley Hellman, and she’s married.”
A silence set in between us. I’m sure he hadn’t expected that.
“So your office, then?” he asked.
I shook my head and finally looked up at him. “Stockman and Wright Law Office.”
His stare remained locked on mine. I knew he wanted to question my request, only he didn’t.
For the next twenty minutes, the only sound in the car was the soft rock filtering out of the radio’s speakers. Multiple messages were waiting for me on my cell, and those from Lex kept getting angrier. I skipped over them as his irritation wasn’t my top priority right now.
I read one message over and over, each time feeling that knot in my stomach only growing tighter.
Kinsley: I’m sorry I lied, but I never pretended with you. The woman I was when I was with you, that is Kinsley. You gave me back the woman I once was. I’m so sorry I hurt you, but never did I ever pretend to feel something I didn’t. I love you, Ash. For all the things you’ve given me and all the times you made me feel as if nothing from my past could ever hurt me again.
She’d sent the message only moments after I sent her my good-bye. Moments after I shut my phone off and refused to turn it back on.
When Murray slowed to a stop in front of the law firm, I opened my own door this time. “Take a drive,” I said over my shoulder. “I’m sure I’ll be awhile. I’ll call when I’m ready.”
I didn’t wait for his response as I climbed out and hurried toward the front entrance. A few heads turned as I entered, but I didn’t acknowledge them in return.
The young woman behind the desk looked up with an annoyed expression that immediately shifted to interest. She thrust out her chest, flipping her hair as she smiled brightly. “Good morning,” she cooed. “What can I help you with?” She scanned over my chest and settled her gaze on the space where my jacket hem rested. This chick was honestly staring at my cock. In the center of the law firm lobby.
“I’m here to see Kinsl—” I cleared my throat. “Kiera Masterson.”
“Ms. Masterson is in court with Mrs. Stockman this morning.” She finally looked back up to meet my stare. Normally a woman would be a little embarrassed at being caught cock-gawking, but not this one. Instead she licked her lip and smiled coyly.
“Ashton?”
I looked up to find yet another woman who’d made me feel like a full-course meal. I couldn’t remember her name, but I definitely remembered she was Kinsley’s friend—and the way her gaze devoured me when I picked up Kinsley from work one day. At this point she was better than the wildcat behind the desk eye-fucking me. Fuck, even I was slightly heated with embarrassment. I swear she was two seconds from stripping down and leaping over the desk to hump my leg.
“Are you here to see Kiera?” the other woman asked as she stepped up to my side.
“Um, yeah.” I turned my back to the woman and faced Kinsley’s friend.
“She’s in court, but it was a simple case. I’m sure she’ll be back anytime.”
I almost laughed when she looked over my shoulder and rolled her eyes. Apparently she too was annoyed by the woman’s antics.
“I guess I forgot.” Apparently Kinsley’s friend was unaware that Kinsley and I weren’t speaking. “Do you think I could wait in her office?”
“Sure.” She offered a smile. “Come on, I’ll take you back.”
I was relieved to get away from the woman that would have given my brothers a run for their money.
“She was in for about ten minutes before Mrs. Stockman dragged her off to court. I think she may be coming down with something, because she looked exhausted. But she insisted she was fine.” Kinsley’s friend opened the door to Kinsley’s office and stepped back to allow me to enter. “She shouldn’t be too long. Is there anything I can get you?”
“No, I’m fine,” I assured her. “I’ve got some emails to answer, so I’ll just work while I wait.”
She offered a sweet smile before she exited the office and closed the door.
I was completely engrossed in an email from a man I’d worked with in the past on some big projects. He’d sent over photos of a current vacant property and the plans he’d drawn up for condos he wanted to build on that property. It was exactly the type of project I needed.
I had no idea I was no longer alone until I caught a flash of red in my peripheral vision. I looked up just as Kinsley rounded her desk and placed her briefcase on the edge.
Our gazes locked and she stood at the edge of her desk as if waiting for me to speak first.
I closed my tablet and remained slightly slouched in the chair, my ankle crossed over my knee. I made sure to keep my eyes locked on hers, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
“What are you doing here?” She didn’t sound angry. She looked as if she’d barely slept. One word came to mind: defeated.
“I told myself that no matter what you had to say, it wouldn’t change anything.” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, keeping my eyes on hers. “I told myself that when I left your place on Friday, I’d never look back. That I would just let go and move forward.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I know you are, but it doesn’t make any of this any better. You’re married, and the woman I thought I was falling for is just a fucking illusion.” Her quick movements caught me off guard, and I sat up as she fell to her knees before me.
“My name is Kinsley Hellman. I’m married to one of the most powerful men in Miami,” she began, which I already knew. “But that man hurt me.”
I locked my gaze on hers. The strong woman I’d been attracted to in the beginning had disappeared. Now she was desperate and frantic.
“For years he beat me and forced me to be a woman I wasn’t. If I fought back, he got angrier. If I threatened to leave, he made sure I couldn’t.” Her throat bobbed when she swallowed. “He’s a dirty man. He convinces innocent people that he can help them with whatever they need—money, fame. And he does, but then he takes that power
away when you’re in so deep that you’re in debt to him and his father. I was one of those people.”
“Kinsley,” I whispered, taking her hand in mine.
“I used to dream of hearing you say my name. Hearing you call me Kiera was so hard.” Tears filled her eyes. “I know that you think you don’t know me, that the woman you have feelings for doesn’t exist, but you’re wrong. Ashton, for the first time since I graduated college, I felt like the Kinsley I’d tucked away safely was back.”
“I don’t understand.” This entire thing was still so fucked up. I didn’t know what to believe, because I still struggled to trust what she said.
“My father grew very sick when I was in college. He was always in and out of the hospital, and the doctors were worthless. No matter what I did, it was never enough, but that’s the reality when you’re poor.” She wiped away the tear that had escaped. “I used to think I was lucky Jase had found me, but now I know I was only an easy target. It never truly had anything to do with love. He preyed on the weak, and during that time I was vulnerable. When I couldn’t care for my dad, Jase and his father swooped in with their money and made everything seem so easy. They fooled us both.”
She took a deep breath and refused to look at me. “They’d convinced my father and me that they could provide the best care and the best doctors for him. So my father handed over the decision-making to them, feeling as if finally he would be able to live without so much suffering. They gained control of his finances, and soon they had the ability to make all medical decisions as well.” She looked up at me. “Like I said, they were very convincing.”
When she shrugged she looked so frail. Completely lost and so fucking alone. And just like that, my anger melted away. All I wanted to do was grab her and hold her close. But I held back because I still needed to understand why she lied about everything.
“Why couldn’t you just be honest and tell me these things from the beginning?” I asked, fisting my hands on my thighs to keep myself from reaching out for her.
