by Susan Arden
“I don’t know.”
“Like hell you don’t.” His fingers combed through her hair. He peered down at her, waiting for her to answer him, and again, he forced her to admit that Haden’s lifestyle bordered on irresponsible.
Her brother might keep his groupies out of the apartment, but she detested waking up to a bunch of sleeping men. They weren’t boys. She’d tried to view them as the guys from his band, as if they were still in high school and this was their parents’ garage. Giving up that attempt, she’d had to accept that that part of their life was over.
She’d been uncomfortable with his new friends and what she believed they were doing. But she was the younger sibling, and Haden always acted like her concerns were juvenile. She couldn’t relay to Stephen her worries about her brother and his new popularity. She’d have to find a way to reach Haden without alerting the whole town that fame and fortune weren’t all they were cracked up to be when it also meant alcohol, and possibly other things. As far as she could tell, in some ways Stephen was in the same boat if he couldn’t remember what he did at night.
She snapped, unwilling to let him give her advice if he wasn’t going to take some himself. “Now who’s evading? Answer me. You think it would be better if he brought home women instead of men?”
“I don’t think exchanging one for the other is the answer. You know having strangers in your home isn’t cool for you, a woman asleep in the next room. Maybe I should speak with Haden. Man-to-man.”
“Isn’t that really more like drinker-to-drinker?” His eyebrows shot up as if he’d been electrocuted. She stared up into his eyes, expecting a brittle retort.
Stephen let out a long sigh, but held back. Her body was pressed against his within his wide stance. She fit securely between his legs, where he could pin her without a second thought. She held herself erect, anticipating his rebuttal.
Stephen’s fingers traced the edge of her jaw. “Jesus, you say what you think. I won’t argue your point. Neither Haden nor I are role models. But that doesn’t mean we’re beyond redemption. If the right motivation comes our way.”
“Have you found a reason to change?”
Stephen delivered his answer by pressing his mouth down on hers in a whisper of a kiss, teasing and tantalizing her. He was one of those men who knew what to do to make a woman go wild. In a couple of kisses, each so different and each intoxicating, he tempted her, bending her will, and making her body crawl with need. The space between her legs heated with a throbbing ache. Holding her breath, she hungered to unleash their sexual chemistry.
“Make no mistake. I want you. I’ll do whatever it takes to convince you to take a chance on me.” His bent his head, and this time he took possession of her lips, devoured her mouth, and had her whimpering by the time he pulled away.
His kisses left her gasping. She breathed in slowly, refusing to let her emotions get twisted and confused. Well, more twisted and confused. Gillian pressed her cheek to his shoulder in an attempt to make sense of the slope she was rapidly sliding down.
On one hand she had her brother and family. On the other, she had this man who made her feel alive, as though the world shone brighter, and anything she might want could be possible. In between, she stood, trying not to get uptight or excuse the behavior of any party.
She hated to think of herself as a reason for anyone to change. That’s why it had been so difficult to badger her brother to reform. If she asked the same of Stephen, would he comply or simply clean up his act for a couple of days? Stephen continued to hold her with his back up against the lamp post. There was no pushing her into a wall, either figuratively or literally. Stephen opened a doorway and let her come willingly to him. And with this position, she took a step toward letting him into her world.
“Haden and I had a talk that night when you and I…talked. I do want our life to be more like it is when I’m alone. I mean, the partying aspect. Haden agreed, and said he just needed a place where he could veg. He was the one who admitted he was tired of the road, and looked forward to coming home to find some peace before heading out again. I think the fans are pushing his buttons. Easy, considering he doesn’t know how to set boundaries.”
“He’d better learn fast. Before something happens. I don’t like the sound of this, or what I saw the other night. Do you know what I think?”
Her stomach lurched. There was no more pretending. She was about to hear confirmation of her worst fears. Without meaning to, she nearly clawed deep grooves in his biceps. “I’m sorry to trouble you with this. There’s no one else I can talk to about Haden.” She lessened her death grip on his arms. “So you know he’s traveling down a dim path. Tell me the truth. What’s he gotten himself into?”
“Your fears aren’t ungrounded. Haden’s on the cusp of either going big, or getting really screwed up. He’s not the first guy to play clubs and travel around the country, and start to let things go. Haden needs to figure out what he wants out of life, not allow the lifestyle to control him.”
She digested that information. These two men were fascinated by the merits of alcohol as a veil, yet it was Stephen who openly discussed her fears without shuttering the problem. “What about you? Lifestyle control going well?”
“You think I’m doing what I do because I’ve no choice…out of control? Christ, I do what I do because I don’t want to think about my life. Diving into a beer mug is a whole lot easier than trying to change a future that’s basically set in stone. Anyone who knows me already knows my future. No need for a crystal ball. A poor excuse, but it is what it is.”
“How so? You’ve got a house, land, a position, and a huge family.”
“What I’ve got is expectations, a pecking order, and a way of life that hasn’t changed in a hundred years. Evermore isn’t a democracy.”
Gillian started to say something, but she had no standing to give him advice. She’d never been part of a family-run business. The grass-was-greener scenario looked pretty darn green on his side, yet every oasis had a cost. “Why don’t you leave?”
“I wish I could, some days. Really. I can, and take nothing with me. The land can’t be sold to anyone outside the family. Shares are stipulated to be reabsorbed into Evermore without compensation to any owner. Why do you think we all live there?”
“Miller doesn’t.”
“His wife’s family has more money than a sheik. She wants him to quit and run one of her father’s companies in Dallas.”
“Oh, I think the cowboy boot is definitely on the other foot. I’m not so complicated. You seem to have more concerns to sort out than I do. Most families come with good and bad issues. It’s natural that they can become a source of problems…or our problems.”
“Those are just family issues. And right now they don’t matter. Do they?” He had her in the space between his muscular legs. His hard body, the ridges of his arms and shoulders felt solid under her hands. Stephen barely pressed, but his erection just brushing the point where her legs came together had her quivering. If there were cables holding her together, each seam was about to snap. She wanted his hands on her the way he’d touched her before, making her clit pulse under his fingers.
“At this moment, I agree,” she whispered.
“You don’t know how much I want you. Jesus, what I’d do to have you…” His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her all the way in between his legs. In doing so, he forced her legs to rub and squeeze her clit, his erection probing her sensitized space. Had she been in his home, she feared how the night would end.
“How many women have you been with…who aren’t that experienced?”
He inhaled, tightening his hold on her, and rubbing the side of his chin along her cheek. His warm lips touched and lingered on her skin. Instinctively, she pressed the side of her head against him, his beard soft against her face. “Besides you—one. My girlfriend in high school. Until now, I didn’t want to mess with women who needed more attention than I could give. Girls see the ranch, they see the fa
mily, they start to hear wedding bells. Gillian, I know what a painful relationship feels like. I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose. I’m not into breaking a woman’s heart.”
She fell silent, searching his face. And now? He gave wings to her heart, and she wasn’t a fool. There weren’t parachutes for this type of relationship. The higher she flew, the harder the crash she’d endure.
Chapter 5
Those glittering eyes of hers deepened, her brows drawing together. Holy hell, the thoughts she must be contemplating.
“Look, we both know I’ve got a past. To be polite, I’ve been called a womanizer by my own brothers. You asked about me and dating. I had a girlfriend. Once. I went off to college and came back expecting she’d be here. Well, she was. Engaged to another man. I went back to college, got injured during a hard scramble, and lost my scholarship. I traveled around a lot after college, doing a hell of lot of stupid and risky things. Relationships in the beginning didn’t make sense. One thing led to another, and it became easier to keep things simple. No strings. End of story.”
He wouldn’t repeat that his only single uncle said he’d broken the McLemore record in chasing skirts. Well, he’d tasted heartbreak way back and had no desire to go there again. Except when he gazed at Gillian. The element of risk she represented only tantalized him further into wanting her. Needing to have her.
Stephen tried to hold off connecting their bodies to prove a point, but that was as ludicrous as trying to stop his heartbeat. Simply out of the question. His stiff cock rode up the back of his zipper, the pressure mounting inside him, and then he pressed into the space between her legs. Their bodies fit perfectly.
He had to dissolve the image of her sweet, slick pussy, not to mention what he wanted to do with her underneath him. Had to black out the way she felt against him. Had to obliterate her scent, and the feel of her mouth. Every atom in his body shouted to claim her and make her part of his existence.
“Say something. I know you don’t want me to ask, but hell, you’re thinking something. What is it?”
“I want to kiss you again.”
“Does kissing me make you upset?”
Gillian looked like a hurricane about to strike. She was out for blood, biting her lip and thrumming her fingers across his chest. “No. The opposite.”
Groaning, he shifted his hips an inch, seeking to relieve his throbbing cock. Too late. She glanced down to his groin. A split second later, her fingers trailed toward his waist. Inch by torturous inch, he watched as Gillian’s dainty painted nails followed the buttons of his shirt. Sucking in his gut, he fought the compulsion to move her toward the brick wall so he could grind up against her, showing her the extent of his arousal. “Do you know what you’re doing to me?”
“The same thing you’re doing to me,” she whispered in the most seductive voice he’d ever heard.
“What is it that you want? I’m holding back from pouring myself into you. Jesus, I’ve only got so much self-control.”
She whimpered. Loud. Then louder again before she jumped right out of his arms.
“What was that?” She lifted her foot, staring at the sidewalk. “Something ran over my foot. I think it was a rat. Or a large mouse. Oh. No. It’s not.”
She bent down, between his legs, her face in front of his crotch. Dammit. He held on to the post in back of him, pressing his fingers onto the surface with such force he was sure he’d leave finger impressions in the metal. His cock throbbed mere inches from her seductive mouth. Her lips were glossy and pink, and opened into a perfect ‘O’ that would fit seamlessly around his cockhead. All he had to do—
“Oh, my lord. It’s a puppy.” She picked up a bedraggled creature and held it to her chest. Pressed the thing between her breasts.
A cruel, cruel joke. Karma laughed in his face. That’s where he wanted to be. He and Gillian had been near the point of going crazy—near exploding together.
His dick, for one, didn’t understand being fully engorged to the point of painful pulsations. A wild desire to pound into Gillian’s sweetness swept through him. His brain had gone on auto-pilot, refusing to come back to earth. Until now. Loudly, he groaned, sliding down the lamp post. Ignoring his hard-on, he knelt, studying what in the world she was holding.
The smile lighting up Gillian’s face made a lump the size of a brick form inside his throat. He scrubbed his palm over his face, curling his fist under his chin as he cocked his head, staring at the whimpering mite. “Wee thing is missing her mama, from the sound of it.”
“Look, she’s so teeny. What’s she doing out here? All alone.” She held up the pup, smaller than a starved rat, for him to see.
“She’s young. Way too young to be alone. There‘s a stray with a litter nearby, more than likely.”
“But where? Will you help me look?” she asked.
Her wide, angelic green eyes held him prisoner. Good thing this was just a small dog she was beseeching his help with, or he’d be toast.
“Here, wrap her in this.” He leaned forward, close enough to inhale a whiff of Gillian’s flowery scent, now familiar to him, and for a second held his position. He longed to take her back into his arms.
Reaching inside his pocket, he removed a do-rag that doubled as a handkerchief. “She’s just a mite, if that,” he said.
The pup was emaciated; he didn’t want to tell Gillian that way too often the back alleys were filled with young animals. It was becoming a problem in town. Out at the ranch, they had several farm dogs that worked alongside the horses and men to control the cattle. But this little girl…he seriously doubted she’d grow much bigger than a beer mug. “She probably has good eyesight.”
Gillian beamed up at him. “She does have rather large eyes, doesn’t she?”
“Come on. If her mother is around, she’s probably somewhere in back, down an alley.” He rose, helping Gillian stand, and then kept his fingers curled around her arm. She fit snugly against his body; his fingers held on to her elbow as she cooed to the pup. If she wanted to find where it belonged, they’d have to start in the alley behind the stores.
As they started walking along the alleyway, he pulled her closer to him to pass trash bins to one side, parked delivery trucks, and a number of shadows scurrying away from them. This place wasn’t anything like where he’d envisioned bringing Gillian. She stepped gingerly over mud puddles, bumping her soft hips into his thighs. Suddenly, the place seemed heavenly.
Minutes ago, thrusting his tongue into Gillian’s delicious mouth, he’d wracked his brain to figure out the logistics of finding a place to be alone with her. At that moment, he was glad to be out walking in the night air, even if it meant side-stepping old newspapers and bits of debris.
Getting coffee, confined to sitting at a table, didn’t suit his mood, especially if it meant he had to keep his hands off her satin skin. A cat meowed, peeking out from behind a stack of wooden crates. Their entourage was getting larger by the moment.
“Looking for a friend,” he murmured.
“I never realized how many strays are around. I’ve never had a dog. We have a cat at the apartment.”
“Just one? We have a multitude of animals at the ranch. At least you’ve got some company when your brother’s away. I guess he’s getting ready to leave soon?”
“Not for another week.”
He’d tossed around going back to her place. Hearing Haden was in town, he promptly squashed it. Haden had just seen him with another woman. Dammit. He couldn’t show up at her place days later. Guys knew guys. That would look like he was out to shamelessly score. Haden might be in a band, living life in the fast lane, but at over six feet he packed a mean left hook. Both he and Haden had played football in school, and his friend could lay him out cold in a fit of anger. Any jerk that showed up trying to string Gillian along would be fair game.
In the near future he’d sit down with Haden, and talk things through like they did when they were closer. Both of their lives were borderline insane, the only dif
ference being that his wasn’t going anywhere beyond numbing his existence. Haden’s life was about to take off, if he didn’t screw it up. Stephen imagined Haden believed he could control his new friends and fans with his immense size. Stephen sighed, knowing the truth of how things went once shots were poured. Nothing mattered after enough alcohol was consumed.
For Gillian, he’d not let Haden just drift into drugs and alcohol without putting out a wakeup call. To show up, then disappear into Gillian’s bedroom, would set the wrong tone and get him into a fight, ruining any chance of being heard by Haden, and more than likely severing their tenuous friendship. Christ, where had all the time gone?
Stephen rolled his eyes. Dating a woman like Gillian would rank up there with extreme challenges on many levels. He said, “I don’t see any signs of a mother.”
“What will we do?” she asked.
He moved his arm over her shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the top of the pup’s head. His compensation was the soft smile she flashed sweetly up at him. His pulse soared; he’d spend all night walking up and down the alleyway looking for any number of stray animals for another one of Gillian’s smiles.
Stephen brushed his face against Gillian’s hair. “Let me take a look at our new friend.”
“Be careful,” she said, handing over the pup.
“Tiny thing. Probably has to do with her breed. Whoa! Well, she’s a he, for one thing.”
“Do you think he’ll be alright? There aren’t any vet hospitals in town.”
“No, but Matt’s wife is vet.”
“Could she examine him and make sure he’s alright?”
“She’s been under the weather. I can find out, though. If not, there are vets in Clarkesville.” He grimaced, holding up the pup. The little beggar whined, but he stowed his response. Gillian’s body leaned firmly into him, and her arms brushed across his as she stroked the pup. For that, he’d let the dog take up residence in his hands.
