by Susan Arden
Nana patted her hand. “I’ve had to deal with ornery creatures before. Don’t fret, dear.”
They walked back into the living room, and Nana sat down next to Haden. “There’s a time to dance. And this isn’t one of them. No one would argue that you’ve got cause for sorrow and anger. But sticking a dagger into your own heart won’t lessen your grief. Will it?”
“No, ma’am,” Haden replied.
“What will happen if you continue down this path? You’ve gone around the bend. Surely, you see you’re at a fork. Which way are you gonna take, Haden?”
He slumped forward, holding his head. “I need help,” he said.
Nana hugged him. “No shame. We all do. Takes a man to see that, and hold out his hand. That’s what family is for, to lend a hand. And that’s what we’re here for.” Nana avoided reminding Haden of his role as Gillian’s older brother, nor did she harp on what his actions were doing to everyone.
Gillian had never seen Haden this remorseful. He’d argued, stormed or raged as he’d done the other night. She suspected the dark, bluish-purple welt on her face hurt him deeply, even if he said little about it.
Gillian wasn’t angry. Her whole body wanted to shut down from frayed nerves. She couldn’t take another day of not knowing what she’d come home to. Haden admitted he was scared, and that he didn’t remember much before he hit her. But he did remember the punch to her jaw. Tearfully, he apologized. And, just as tearfully, she told him it was time for treatment.
The next morning, the neighbors, Nana’s old girlfriends, put together statements attesting that Haden was out of control. The intake counselor performed a drug sample collection that was returned positive. Gillian was still shocked by the information. Ostrich tendencies died hard. She sat back in the plastic chair, no longer seeing the forms in her hands. It wasn’t so long ago that her parents were alive, and there were family dinners, celebrations, lawn games, and her father’s retelling of stories from his childhood…all were a welcome memory. Inside the cold, stuffy office, they just didn’t fit.
Nana patted her hand. “You alright? What are you about tonight? Some nice plans?”
“I’m fine, just tired. Sleep sounds good. I guess we should be getting you both back.” She rose, her back muscles knotted. Her grandfather rose and helped Nana to her feet. They stood, holding hands. They still wore their wedding bands, even though they lived apart. Was the whole world spinning in a different orbit? “Did you want to make any stops along the way?”
Her grandparents shook their heads. “We’ll go back straightaway.”
* * *
Arriving home, she parked and her eyes lit upon Stephen, sitting on her front porch. Waiting. Her fingers trembled. The ever-present lump in her throat cut off her ability to take a long, slow, steady breath of air. She hiccupped. Twice. She watched him saunter up to her car, and almost burst apart when he opened her car door.
He squatted next to the open door and gazed across the space, pain searing his eyes. “Babe, you can’t just disappear. Not on me.”
“Stephen, I’m a mess.” She wanted to hurl herself into his arms. Maybe he’d missed her as much as she’d missed him. Jeez, she had to stop this wanting. Even though she’d refused to listen to Haden, her brother’s words had struck a chord.
“Talk to me,” he said softly.
She let him help her out of the car. “We just took Haden to rehab. I can’t ever thank you enough for your connection. Your cousin cut through miles of red tape. But…”
“But?” he asked, brushing the hair from her face.
“I’m worn out. And the last couple of days have been awful. I’m confused.”
“About us?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She bit her lip, letting her gaze drop, and sighed in consternation.
Stephen gently rubbed her jaw with his knuckle before he nudged her face upward, stopping when their gazes locked. “Tell me what you do know. Don’t shut me out. This is too important. To me. To you…to us.”
“Why? Don’t you see what a messed-up life I’ve got? Why would you want any part of this?” She met his gaze, and it was all she could do to refrain from melting against him.
“Because it is a life. Life isn’t perfect. It’s messy at times. But since we met, I know it’s filled with hunger. It’s filled with passion. And you. I want to be part of your blistering mess of a life, if that’s what you believe it to be. Because it’s real. I want you. Not just the gorgeous parts, and baby, there’s plenty. I’m not here because I’m looking for a distraction.”
The words he uttered sounded wonderful. Salve to her wounds. Being so close to him, her body quivered with a force he summoned, rapturous in what he radiated. Her body and spirit implored her to stop fighting.
“Please. Don’t make me weaken my resolve. This isn’t what you need. Not you.”
“I’m not afraid, or heading out the door. I’m staying. So let me stay. One night.”
She stared up into his face, caught by the heat in his eyes. His breathtakingly-perfect face, unable to resist. “You know you’re making it impossible. I don’t see—”
“Maybe it’s time you closed your eyes. Stop thinking with this.” He touched her temple, and slowly slid his fingers down her jaw, down her neck, and trailed his fingertip down between her breasts, unlocking her cache of ache, need, lust, and even a sprinkle of greed. “Let your heart dictate tonight.”
The air between them crackled. His touch held her captive. She nodded, her tongue thick in her mouth. The space between her legs pulsed. Dampened. “Come inside and let’s get naked.”
“All I want is tonight. I’m not worried about tomorrow.” He took her keys.
Inside the apartment, it was cool and dark. There wasn’t any need for light. He’d said not to think. She put down her purse, unzipped her skirt, and no longer fought this deep-seated hunger. Stepping out of her sandals and beyond the circle of material around her ankles, she held out her arms. “I’m all yours. Anything goes.”
Stephen held back. “Jesus, you’re so beautiful in this room.” He came forward, capturing her in his arms, crushing her body flush to his. “If this is the last time, I intend to make you remember me.”
His mouth seared a path along her jaw. His kiss was rough, forcefully demanding. This wasn’t any type of kiss she’d ever experienced. His teeth bit a warning that she’d better open to him. Completely. His hands moved lower on her body until he had her bottom. He pulled her panties upward, just a little, wedging them in her slit. She jerked from the erotic sensation against her clit, and pushed against him. She wanted this, to let him take control, no thinking or worries.
“How much are you willing to give? Willing to take?” His fingers squeezed her.
“What? I like this. Don’t hold back, Stephen. I can take it. I want it, from you.”
His arms tensed, the muscles hardened to the point of trembling. “You don’t know what you’re agreeing to.” The groan he released from his chest rumbled through his lips. “I should show you I mean business. But you’ve had a hard day. Let me do something for you.” He released his grip on her panties.
“It’s been hell. And you’re right. I can’t escape my life. But for tonight, just once, help me move past this pain. Whatever you can do, I want. I need. Starting with your body.” Gillian ran her hands over the dips and ridges of his chest. She pulled off his shirt, exposing the muscular plank of his torso.
His fingers floated along the edge of her panties, teasing her without mercy. Her clit throbbed. He murmured against her face, “I can do that for you. I still bet you’ve no clue to the things possible, or how I can make you forget.”
“I still have those handcuffs. The pink ones. Is that a start? And I know a little about this, Stephen. I’ve spent the last three years listening to my girlfriends go on and on about their sex lives. Don’t—” She jabbed her finger into his arm. “Think for a moment that I’m totally naïve. Inexperienced, maybe, but I know more than you thin
k. I’m game if you’re man enough to take me on.”
His nostrils flared. The line of his full lips relaxed and quirked into a smile that stilled her breathing. “Beautiful baby, I’m just contemplating what to do first.”
His hands took hold of her wrists, jerking them behind her. With one hand holding her still, his other hand returned to her hip. She felt his fingers gripping her panties across her ass and then, with a hard jerk, he ripped them off her body. “You mean something like this?”
Oh, he had her number. Her body tingled. The anticipation of his next move was mind-boggling. His fingers moved up to her shirt. His gaze traced the front. “So many buttons.”
Her nipples hardened from his hoarse tone. The popping sound of buttons hitting the floor was followed by the chill of air on her chest. Stephen released her arms and spun her around. He yanked the shirt off her shoulders. His fingers were at her back, undoing her bra, pushing it away from her skin. The hard ridge of his penis rubbed against the bare flesh of her ass, riding up and down the crevice. She’d heard from her girlfriends how much pleasure they’d gotten when they allowed their lovers access to them down there. Gillian bit her lip. No thinking, she reminded herself.
She touched the outline of his erect cock. Stroking him up and down, she felt herself grow hot and wet. His fingers plucked her nipples, squeezing her breasts.
“I’m going to fuck you. Hard. What are your fantasies?”
“Everything. You. Fucking me.”
“Shall we do this hard and fast, or hard and slow? Taking our time?”
There was no way to answer. “Both. I want you every way. Whatever you’ve got, give it to me. Do what you want with me. Anything.”
“Only a fool would refuse a woman in need. I’ll take you up on your sweet offer. Whatever I want…” His chuckle danced across her skin. “How about this, for starters?”
Cupping her breasts, he pinched her nipples at the same time he softly bit into her neck. His tongue swirled at her ear, nipping her earlobe. Again, he bit her skin, taking her breasts into his hands, trapping the tips between his fingers. He clamped down on her in all the right ways. The space between her legs ached. So hard. She moved her fingers, unbuttoning his jeans, lowering his zipper. Unable to see him, she groped his body, and tugged his cock from his pants. She tried to turn, wanting to take him into her mouth.
Stephen held her firm. “No. Not your decision tonight.” He held her arms. “Stay right there. If you move, I’ll show you what happens to naughty girls.” He stepped back, breaking their contact.
Her body trembled. A boot hit the floor with a soft thud. Another one. The rustle of his pants, jingle of his belt, falling. Each second ramped up her craving to have him take her, make her bend to his will. Make her forget, if only for one last night.
“Let’s go.” His hands moved her forward, down the hall into her bedroom. “Turn around. Kneel before me.”
In her room, light entered from the window, slipping in between the slats of the blinds. Stephen was erect, his cock standing out in front of his body. That much she saw as much as felt, but seeing him stroke himself made her mouth water. She quickly knelt, inhaling his scent.
Standing before her, Stephen held out his cock. “Open your mouth.”
He pushed his crown forward, taking her face between his hands, and then stroking his thumb across her cheek. His touch was gentle, making her think he was more talk. That abruptly ended. His hands fisted in her hair, and he pivoted his hips fast, moving his cock in a rapid, rough rhythm across her lips.
She sucked his head, barely. He fucked her mouth in a way that spoke only of lust. This was pure sex. He dominated her, controlled how much he let her have, and then she was up. Lifted, if not tossed, onto her bed.
“Where are they?” he demanded.
“What?” For a second her brain focused on her own need; language was difficult to understand. She roiled in frustrated pleasure, wanting him to enter her body. Not in words, but using his stiff cock, thrusting into her and making her understand.
“The handcuffs. Darlin’, where are they? Should I spank you to get your attention?”
“Inside the nightstand drawer.” She couldn’t hold back, and she touched herself. The fire spread across her bottom before she registered what had happened. Her sex throbbed. In the midst of red-hot-poker pain, and surprisingly, her body tingled. “Did you just spank me?”
“And I’ll do it again, if you try to make yourself come. You climax when I tell you. Not a second before. Now, turn over.”
“Do you like this type of sex?” She’d heard about this and never understood how pain could ever feel good. Before this moment. The clanking metal caught her attention as she turned to lie face-down on her mattress.
“Controlling your every move? What’s not to love? You do know this isn’t about just me, but more importantly it’s about us. Relax. I promise I’ll take care of your needs.”
“I want you to do whatever it takes.”
“Now, we’re cooking with greased lightning.” His warm body bent over her, his breath tattooing her neck. “Scoot up toward the headboard.”
Wordlessly, she moved her prone body. Not two weeks ago he’d been the one to have his wrist chained to her bed. Metal against metal. Cold. Unfeeling.
Now, it was his skin against hers. Flesh-scorching. Soul-searing.
Stephen didn’t move her wrist toward the headboard. Instead he took hold of one of her arms. Cold metal on her wrist. “We’ll see how this works out.” He took hold of her other arm, bringing her wrists together, securing them in back of her.
He ran his hand over her body, moving her legs apart and lightly tracing a pattern on her skin. The effect had her biting her lip, suppressing a moan. Stephen tugged at a pillow, lifted her hips and pushed it under her belly. Jesus, the preparation and his ministrations were enough foreplay to make her want to agree to anything he had planned. Anticipation made her greedy.
The mattress dipped as his weight shifted. “Be back in a second.” His footsteps sounded across the floor. He entered her bathroom. Streaming light filled her room. The over-sink cabinet was opened. Shut.
What was he looking for? She’d already experienced his ability to MacGyver his way through a kitchen for their sexual gratification. She didn’t have any expensive olive oil, as he did, and certainly not in her bathroom.
He returned, setting down a jar on the nightstand. “Not in million years would I expect to find coconut oil.”
“I use it in the shower,” she said defensively. “After I shave.”
“No complaint. You’ve an assortment of gels, lotions, and oils. We can explore later.” He uncapped the oil. It was solid unless heated. The sound of his hands rubbing together brought back memories of when he’d done that before. Her mouth salivated. Her body was positively saturated in yearning. He’d barely touched her and she was slick, swollen, and throbbing.
Once more the mattress shifted under her. She was at his mercy. Her desire was laced with anxiety to understand what he intended. He roughly tugged her legs open, leaving oily prints, heavy on her skin.
His hands moved in between her legs as he rubbed his palms from the inner regions of her thighs up and over her bottom. Each stroke of his hands brought a rush of anticipation. His body brushed over hers again. The sound of the jar in his hands, and then more oil was spread over her body. He worked his palms across her skin, upward and then firmly downward, easing his fingers between the crevice of her rear-end. She arched against his touch. Pleasure pricked her whole body. Rocked her. Each scintillating swipe of his hands made her clench in need.
“Tell me what you desire.” Stephen teased her, trailing his finger along the point where her thighs joined to her body. Feather touches to the edge of her slit, tracing her, flicking once over her clit, and then he moved his finger away. She jerked without thought.
Her body was lanced by deep, dark desire. She arched against his hands, lifted her bottom upward. Stephen had he
r writhing, moaning, and swearing. Never had she spoken dirty in her life. She’d tell him volumes if he kept this up much longer. “Touch me. Please. I’ll do anything you want.”
His exhaled. “Anything?”
“Stephen. Please. Yes. Just do it. Give it to me.”
“Up on your knees.” He helped her rise. “Now, bend over, keeping your hips in the air. Cheek flat on the pillow.”
Her ass poised in the air made her vulnerable. So very open to him. He rubbed his hands in between her legs. “Almost there?”
“Yes. Please.” She pleaded.
He grazed her clit. Once. Then came back and rubbed his finger rapidly, in tight circles, thumbing her piercing. Another finger entered her. Plunged in so deep she jolted. Stephen had her to the point of bursting apart.
“You’re so unbelievably wet.” His body moved. He knelt between her calves, pushing up against her hips. His erection rubbed against her opening. He moved his finger to the cleft of her ass. He wiped oil in between her cheeks. She felt the head of him pushing into her opening. In one hard thrust, he seated himself inside her. Ribbons of pleasure laced her body. His finger stroked her anus. She was falling. His cock pumped within her, his arm held her close to him. He pulled on the hand cuffs, his finger stroking down her ass, his cock thrusting deeper.
A golden, warm glow so bright spread, exploded. She cried out. Stephen thrust his finger into her ass. She shattered apart. The pleasure and pain twined. He slammed into her and reeled back, only to repeat himself. She spun in pleasure.
He moved his body, rocking against her. He had her, commanding her body, every muscle and cell responding, seeking the bliss he bestowed. She flexed her hips, pushing back onto his finger. He drove his cock into her again and again. He stopped and groaned. The length of him was embedded in her. Stretching her. He spread more oil. His cock slid from her.
“No,” she yelled.
“Shhh. Give me a moment.” This time his head brushed against her ass cheeks.
He pushed into her anus. Not all the way. A small distance. Heat, blazing heat, swam in her head. Shredded the glowing light. His hands rubbed her quivering hips. “Relax, baby.” His voice soothed her. “Let me in. Breathe. For me.”
