But he couldn’t stop himself.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” She nibbled on his earlobe, making his breath catch in his throat. “Don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking the same thing.”
She slipped her warm hand down the collar of his shirt, scratching lightly on the skin in the center of his back, in the places where he could never reach. It was animalistic, erotic, and he never wanted her to stop.
“You’re killing me, DeeDee.”
Her body shook against him as laughter rippled through her. “Then I’m doing it right.”
He grabbed her bottom, lifted her up, and set her down on the desk. She opened her knees to let him step up against her. He could take her right here, right now. He wanted her so badly. She was terrible for him. She made him lose his mind.
“Wait.” He broke the kiss and put his forehead against hers. They were breathing as if they’d just run a marathon. “We can’t do this, not here. Not now.”
Not ever.
“Why not? Everything seems to be working as far as I can tell.” She nudged him gently with her knee.
“Oh, everything’s working just fine. And believe me, I want it.” He inhaled, determined to be honest. “I want you. But it would be wrong to let this go further.”
Her smile faded. Hurt came into her eyes, then snuffed out, replaced by shiny blankness. “Why?”
Isaac thought about Mark’s face when he’d explained their mother was going to be traveling with her new husband and that Mark would be moving into a neat place where he’d make lots of friends and have so many interesting things to do.
His disappointment when he’d learned that Jodi-Lyn wasn’t going to become his sister, after all. How, both times, his eyes had grown shiny with tears. How he’d asked in a little-boy voice, “She doesn’t love me anymore?”
It had nearly torn the heart out of Isaac’s chest.
“Relationships haven’t been good for Mark,” he said finally.
“Far as I can see,” DeeDee said, “I’ve got my legs wrapped around you, not him.”
Yes, she did, thank God and everything that was holy, and he wanted nothing more but for her to stay there and continue this exploration.
But he needed her to understand.
He stepped back, gently removing her ankles from his thighs.
“He’s been hurt pretty badly. He needs me to be, well, his. I owe him that.”
He wondered if he’d ever get over the guilt he bore for how the woman he’d almost married had treated Mark. Jodi-Lyn had never shared Isaac’s sense of responsibility for his brother. But then, she’d avoided Mark whenever possible, always busy when Mom invited them for dinner. Finally, she’d admitted she was uncomfortable around Mark. She didn’t know what to do or say around him and frankly, she considered it a waste of time. Mark wouldn’t care, she insisted. And if he did, he’d soon forget.
Isaac should have broken things off far sooner than he had.
But it wasn’t until Mom got engaged that things had come to a head. Jodi-Lyn had flatly refused to entertain the thought of Mark living with them, even briefly. There were places, she said, where he’d be happy. With his own kind.
But Isaac knew those places. He’d seen the stained institutional walls, smelled the rank odor of warehoused residents, some of whom resisted bathing until forced. The group home had been bad enough. He’d already felt Mark’s arms clinging to his neck, heard his cries, begging not to be left behind, promising to be good, to stay out of the way, to not annoy Jodi-Lyn.
“My ex-fiancée and I didn’t see eye to eye on Mark. He’s the reason we split up.”
Jodi-Lyn had given him an ultimatum. He’d chosen his brother.
“So, you’re going to live like a monk for the rest of your natural life?” DeeDee slid off the desk and adjusted her clothing. She sounded mad. He couldn’t blame her. These were the cards life had dealt him. He was trying to make the best play he could. His hand, after all, was not nearly as bad as Mark’s.
“He already feels abandoned by Mom. Even though that’s not the case, it’s how he perceives it. Then I let him think Jodi-Lyn was going to take me away. I can’t let that happen again.”
But she surprised him by walking up and laying one hand against his cheek, cupping his face gently. “That’s a heavy burden. I wish I could change your mind, and I wish I could say I understood.”
She moved closer then and set her lips gently on his, a chaste kiss that spoke of a kindness at odds with her sometimes-brash behavior. Was it possible that he’d hurt her?
“Isaac? DeeDee?”
Mark.
Isaac pushed away from DeeDee and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Mark sounded like a herd of elephants most of the time; how had he snuck in without them hearing?
“What are you doing?” Mark’s confusion quickly turned to anger. “Are you kissing? DeeDee’s my friend. You can’t kiss her! You can’t kiss DeeDee! She’s my friend. Mine, mine, mine.”
Mark’s shouts descended into incoherent wails. He kicked at the door and punched his fist against the wall. He was heading for a full-fledged meltdown of the kind Isaac hadn’t seen since before coming to Marietta. Worse even than when he’d broken the bowl.
“Mark, it’s not like that,” he began.
But DeeDee pushed past him.
“Mark!” She snapped out the word, grabbing for his arm.
He flung her away, almost hitting her in the process.
Isaac tried to intervene, but DeeDee blocked him with her body.
She caught Mark’s hands in hers, pulled him close, and then held him, pressing his head against hers. “Mark, it’s okay.” Her voice was softer now. “I’m here. I know you’re scared, but I’m your friend. You’re okay.”
Weeping now, Mark sank onto the floor, as if his legs couldn’t hold him. “I don’ wanna go back. I wanna stay with Isaac.”
DeeDee glanced at Isaac over Mark’s head.
He shrugged helplessly. “Mark, of course you’re going to stay with me.”
“Nuh-uh.” Mark shook his head. “Kissing makes people I love go away. Makes me go to the bad place.”
Oh, God.
Guilt choked Isaac like a knife to the throat. Relationships, as he’d explained to DeeDee, had not been good for Mark. But hearing his theory confirmed so succinctly by Mark himself jammed the dagger deeper and twisted it. The group home had left indelible, traumatic memories, ones associated with loss.
“Isaac’s not going anywhere and neither are you,” DeeDee said. “Us kissing changes nothing.”
Confusion washed over Mark’s face again.
“I won’t go to the bad place?” Mark’s voice was small and pitiful. “You won’t take Isaac away?”
Just when Isaac thought his heart couldn’t break any more…
“No more bad place, ever.” DeeDee stroked his hair. “I won’t take Isaac away from you. He’ll always be your brother.”
“And you’ll still be my friend and Isaac’s friend, too?”
“I can be your friend and his friend at the same time. I’ve got lots of friends, honey.”
“Jo-lin didn’t like me. She said she did, but she lied.”
DeeDee wrinkled her nose. “Then Jodi-Lyn was a dumbass, just like your doctor.”
Mark looked up cautiously, tears still glinting on his cheeks. “You still love me? Even though you kiss Isaac?”
“I love you and Isaac both, honey. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to deal with that. Think you can manage?”
“Both at the same?”
DeeDee slanted a quick look at Isaac. “Same amount, yep, but in different ways. It’s how it is, my friend. Now, you’re strong and smart and capable of handling this. Okay? Hug?”
Mark tightened the bear-hug until DeeDee winced. “Can I go upstairs and watch TV?”
Isaac watched, unable to speak.
Deirdre Cash had just admitted that she loved him.
Him and Mark.
>
Both.
And she didn’t even seem to realize it.
“If you want,” DeeDee said. “But there’s a party tonight. I’d love you to come along, but you need to put on clean clothes.”
“A party?” Mark frowned and tucked his head into his shoulder. Then he brightened. “Like the close-show? Where Sara Maria wears fancy close and looks so pretty? I want to do the close-show!”
Not the fashion show again. Isaac looked at DeeDee. “We already discussed that.”
She gave an innocent shrug. “Maybe he and Sara Maria saw each other at the day program again. I didn’t encourage him, Isaac. I swear.”
“I have new close,” Mark said. “I could do the close show. With Sara Maria.”
“One thing at a time,” DeeDee said. “First, the party tonight. Right now, hurry and get changed.”
Mark hustled off, sunny again.
Maybe he was being overprotective. Maybe he should let DeeDee put Mark in her show, after all.
Maybe he was underestimating Mark.
Maybe he was underestimating DeeDee.
Chapter Seventeen
DeeDee and her big mouth. She’d been trying to smooth things over with Mark, that was all, but somehow, she’d ended up telling the boy she loved him. And then she’d gone and included Isaac.
She’d just said that she loved Mark and Isaac. Both.
The same amount. In different ways.
Was that the truth?
DeeDee had never been in love before. She’d been in lust many times. She’d been in admiration of many cars, hopeful of many Christmas and birthday gifts, willing to accept trips and jewelry and theatre tickets and nights on the town.
She’d had more than her fair share of boyfriends—affairs, she supposed she should call them now. But her heart had stayed untouched.
She knew that because this time, for the first time, it was different.
Her heart was involved.
Touched.
And the crazy thing was that she and Isaac hadn’t even gone out on a date. They weren’t involved. She was his employee, for heaven’s sake. So, they’d kissed. One wildly unforgettable time. A momentary lapse of judgement, maybe. Did Isaac regret it?
She certainly didn’t. If anything, she wanted more.
She did not understand what was happening and thoroughly hoped she’d have a chance to figure it out before Isaac called her on it.
Or maybe, he’d just let it go, pretend it never happened. Sometimes, people said things in the heat of the moment that they wished they could reel back into their traitorous mouths.
Heck, DeeDee did it all the time.
But this was different. She’d used the L word.
Love.
Love spoke of promises and futures and commitment and shared values and goals. She and Isaac barely knew each other.
But in the time they’d spent together, instead of her usual modus operandi with men—dinners out, movies, dancing, parties, and yes, hot nights and mornings that felt vaguely sordid—she and Isaac talked. They argued. They made chocolate. They walked in the park. They’d discussed Mark and what was best for him.
She and Isaac connected in a way she’d never experienced with a man before. And he treated her like a person, a thinking, feeling person whose opinions mattered, even when they were diametrically opposed to his own.
He challenged her, and she challenged him.
Oh, God.
“What am I going to do about this?” she whispered into the empty car.
There was only one person to talk to. She pulled out her cell phone. “Maddie?” she said when her twin picked up. “How did you know when you were in love with Mick?”
On the other end, there was silence. Then, a peal of laughter. “I’m so happy!” Maddie yelled over the airwaves.
“No, no, no,” DeeDee wailed. “This isn’t good. This is terrible.”
“We are talking about Isaac, aren’t we?”
“Yes, of course. Who else?”
“I don’t know. Have you decided what to do about New York?”
She had. Jon wasn’t going to like it, but he was the least of her concerns.
“Interested in subletting your place?” she asked.
“Absolutely!” Maddie whooped again. “When did you finally figure it out?”
DeeDee nibbled the corner of her lip. “I’m not sure.”
Maddie laughed again. “I’ve known it since the night Cynthia was in the hospital, Dee. You were so annoyed with him. You couldn’t possibly be that mad at someone you didn’t care about.”
“It could have been the flowers,” DeeDee responded faintly. “It was a pretty nice bouquet.”
“You’re hilarious,” Maddie said. “Listen, I’m showing a house right now. Can we talk later?”
“Wait. You’re coming to Portia’s shower, aren’t you?”
Maddie’s breath whooshed out. “Right. Of course. I’ll see you there. Don’t worry. It’ll be great.”
“You scared me there for a minute,” DeeDee said. “The worst thing would be for no one to show up.”
Chapter Eighteen
Isaac stepped through the doors of the community center, wondering how soon he could leave without appearing rude. He’d always believed that baby showers were for women, but DeeDee had emphasized that there would be lots of other men in attendance and that he and Mark must come, because nothing was worse than a half-empty party room.
In Isaac’s opinion, there were many, many things worse, including those plastic glasses decorated with baby booties.
“Look, Isaac.” Mark’s face split into a grin at the sight of the punchbowl in the corner. “Can I have some?”
“Maybe later, buddy.” Mark would be spinning in circles for hours if he drank the neon-pink potion.
“There you are!” DeeDee approached them, a look of relief on her face. She gave Mark a hug before stepping back to face Isaac. “I wasn’t sure you’d make it.”
Was she still sizzling as much as he was from their kiss? She was in full party-planner mode, so it was hard to tell.
“I said we’d come, so here we are.”
“And?” She gestured to the decorations. “What do you think? Nice, huh?”
A pink-and-blue banner stretched from one corner of the room to the other. It said Welcome, Baby in curlicue lettering. Rainbow-colored streamers looped to meet it, their tails trailing down along the wall. A chair sat beneath, decorated with more streamers, identifying it as being for the guest of honor. Pots of flowers sat here, there, and everywhere. A collage of black-and-white baby pictures Isaac guessed were of the mother-to-be was tacked onto the wall, next to a blown-up copy of a sonogram with a sign saying, Like Mother, Like Baby.
One table was stacked with food, tiny crust-less sandwiches and pastries from the bakery, platters of colorful fruit and cheese, an obscene assortment of Sage’s chocolate, of course, and an enormous cake with still more good wishes written in frosting.
A pile of gifts teetered off to the side, beautifully wrapped and beribboned packages large and small.
Isaac added an envelope to the pile. “Very nice. You did all this?”
“I like pretty things, and I’m good at asking for stuff,” DeeDee said. “Not much, as skills go, but they work. Mostly.”
She gazed at him steadily, and something unspooled inside him. “DeeDee,” he began.
“Hey, there’s my girlfriend,” Mark said. He pointed a stubby finger at a pretty young woman who’d just arrived. “Her name is Sara Maria. She’s very smart and funny and she’s my girlfriend. Can I talk to her?”
According to DeeDee, for the autistic young woman to tolerate, let alone enjoy, Mark’s company was a huge triumph for them both.
“How about you introduce us?” he suggested. He wasn’t comfortable with the possible romantic element, but it was better than thinking about whatever was or was not going on between him and DeeDee.
“Yay!” Mark grabbed Isaac with one hand an
d DeeDee with the other. “Come on, come on.”
The slender young woman stood in the corner beside a man whose features resembled her enough to suggest they were related.
“Hi, Sara Maria.” Mark blushed.
Sara Maria blinked rapidly and tapped her hands at her sides. “Hi, Mark.”
Mark looked up at Isaac. “This is my girlfriend. She makes pie. She’s smart and special and pretty. Isn’t she pretty?”
He certainly looked smitten.
“Very nice to meet you, Sara Maria.” Isaac tipped his head, guessing she wouldn’t want to shake hands.
The man next to her, however, extended his hand immediately. “Brant Willingham. Sara Maria’s big brother. And this is Rosie Linn, my fiancée.”
The woman blushed and glanced lovingly up at Brant.
“Rosie’s a script writer, but she also works part time at the chocolate shop with Sage and Portia,” DeeDee explained after exchanging greetings.
“Sara Maria works at the pie store.” Mark gazed wistfully at her. “I wish I could work at the pie store.”
Isaac’s heart twisted. So much had been denied Mark in his life so far, yet he remained, at heart, so happy. So hopeful. And now, for the first time, he was having a taste of meaningful contribution, community, love, acceptance… thanks to DeeDee.
Before he could speak, she took his arm and dragged him away. “Isaac, I see Maddie and Mick. And Chad! Oh, their neighbors are here, too! This is great. Look at all the people. Sage will be so pleased.”
The river of words and names seemed unstoppable. DeeDee seemed a bit manic, her eyes shining a little too brightly, her cheeks a little too flushed. She was trying hard to be friendly, but to Isaac’s eye, it didn’t seem entirely reciprocal.
Then again, with all her chatter, she wasn’t giving people much opportunity to respond. A preemptive measure?
DeeDee tapped a dark-haired woman’s shoulder, then stepped back. She appeared to be acquainted with everyone in the room. But there was caution in her greetings, and some of the responses she received were warmer than others.
Or maybe he was imagining it. It didn’t seem to faze her, at any rate.
“Mel, Leda, have you met Isaac Litton? He just moved here from Chicago. Maddie sold him his house.” She pointed into the corner where Mark and Sara Maria were now sitting side by side. “That’s his brother, Mark. Isaac, this is Melinda Sweet and Leda Anders.”
The Chocolate Comeback (Love at the Chocolate Shop Book 7) Page 16
