by Palmer, Dee
SOFIA’S PRETTY FACE peeks around my bedroom door closely followed by a bottle of white wine and two glasses. “Hey Bets, how you doing?”
“Oh much better for the gifts you bring my dear, come don’t be shy.” I pat my bed and she jumps and winces at the less than comfortable bounce afforded by the wooden slats underneath my mattress.
“How do you sleep on this thing?” She rubs her injured hip.
I laugh. “That’s exactly what Daniel said,” but I quietly stop my laughing. “Pour the wine wench!”
“So have you heard from Queen Bitch?” She pours and hands me my liquid lifeline.
“Oh yes she’s going all out, I don’t stand a chance!” I dramatically confess.
“Really? You’re going let her take everything from you?Leave you with nothing . . . again?”
“No. not with nothing, I’ve got you, I’ve got Marco and your family, God I so love your family, you’re so lucky sweetie.”
“Oh yes, I have so many people interfering in my life, I pretty much live a collective existence.” She sighs. “Yes I’m very lucky . . . but you love him?”
My eyes flood with unshed tears. “Oh fuck Sofs I’m sorry.” I rub my eyes embarrassed that I can’t hold this inside.
“Don’t Bets, not with me.” She places her arm around my shoulders.
“Yes, I love him, I’ve never loved anyone like I love him, he sees me, and he knows me . But now, now I see this distance I can’t stop from growing between us and it’s killing me. She’s poison Sofs.” I suck in my sob but the tears keep falling.
“Don’t let her ruin this Bets, she can’t make him love her when he clearly loves you. Don’t give up and don’t run away.” Her soft brown eyes are fixed with love and concern.
“That’s definitely my gut reaction.” I sip my wine, “I know he loves me and you’re right, she can’t make him love her but she can make him not love me. How could you love someone who is so quick to give up on family? Not give someone asking, a chance at reconciliation? Not to mention crazy unstable, he really hasn’t known me that long to give him enough to challenge these questions.” I release a breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding. “Sofs I told him everything, everything about John and all he heard was her. You didn’t see his face when I flipped, he looked so disappointed. No he looked disgusted.” I shake my head in utter despair.
“Bets, he loves you.” She repeats like that is really all you need.
“He did.” I add softly “Maybe.” I can’t believe I doubt what I know in my heart, so quickly. “But he will let me go, she’ll make sure of that. Now my dear,” I try for false levity. “I’m calling a ‘no-more’ so let’s pour some more wine.” I tip my empty glass for a refill.
Sofia leaves mine around eleven thirty and I’m just about to get ready for bed, I’ve cancelled my contract with Mags after my ‘uncovering’ with Daniel and it’s just me now so funding healthcare is not an issue. My phone starts to vibrate almost instantly and I get a twinge of excitement that it might be Daniel. The caller ID says Kassandra and my heart sinks that Daniel must have programmed her number in my phone.
“It’s me dear sister.” Her icy voice fills me with dread but she wants to tell me something, she wants something and I want her out of my life. I let out a controlled breath as she obviously waits to see if I’ll hang up. “There, that’s so much better, I do abhor rude manners.” I don’t know why she’s talking like a fucking Jane Austen novel; it’s just me and her.
“What do you want Kit?” I am exhausted and see no need to play nice.
“Kassandra.” She corrects. “Oh good we’re going to get straight to it.” Her excitement evident in her tone, she is enjoying her position. She is cold and heartless and loving every minute. “I want Daniel”
“I’m shocked.” I respond flatly. “Well, my guess is he’ll be yours soon enough.” I sigh dejectedly, I’m so tired.
“Maybe, but I don’t live my life by ‘maybe.’ I make sure I get what I want.” She sneers.
“You always have.” I quip.
“Yes, yes, look I was happy to let this pass. When I saw you at the drinks reception at your friends’ club, after all you’re a waitress, they never marry staff!” She cackles, “but I believe he likes fucking you too much to discard you right away.” I wince at this, “Oh come on Boo.” She spits my name with malice. “You can’t possibly think he actually cares for you?” She muses carefully aligning her weapons. “Has he even taken you out in public? Mmm introduced you to his friends or to meet his family maybe, No?” Her voice is cruel, her aim perfect.
“We have been out.” I offer quietly, “and he introduced himself as my boyfriend.” Adding mostly to reassure myself. I told Daniel the truth when I said I don’t get jealous but I didn’t mention that I really never had the opportunity before or that I have enough crippling insecurities that jealousy didn’t need to feature in my repertoire of vices.
“Really, where?” She is not surprised with my answer at all. “Somewhere local? To meet your friends perhaps?” She has a sickening girlish laugh. “Don’t beat yourself up; he does have a weakness for the wounded and my darling, you are the very definition of the ‘walking wounded,’ pathetic.” She mutters. “The charity he and his mother attended, was for disadvantaged children, did you know? Well, no, anyway I didn’t realise he was so ‘hands on’ with his charity work.” I have a clawing empty feeling that’s in the pit of my stomach and it’s strange that I can feel pain when I am numb with this new information. I hate her but she’s right. I had joked, a little, about his interest in me as an act of benevolence but he has yet to take me out on an actual date, even our lunches were in his office.
“So I’m going to need your help.” She interrupts my rocketing self-doubt.
“And why would I help you?” My laugh is a little uncontrolled. I am really curious why she would think I would actively break my own heart.
“Well, I happen to know you won’t, willingly.” She clarifies, “but you do seem to care about your friends.” I sit up at this comment, not sure where she’s going. “I didn’t introduce you to my driver; he is ex-military, you might remember him from the old days? No? It doesn’t matter, anyway he is very handy to have, very good at solving problems. Well . . . I digress, you know what it’s like to lose someone you love.” The pain acute in my chest when I think of Daniel, that she’d hurt Daniel. “Sofia is a lovely girl, I met her the other night, I don’t believe she recognised me then, but I knew her.” She pauses as if she is weighing up her options, like she hasn’t already made up her mind to ruin my life. “She’s engaged, is that right?” She doesn’t say anything else, her implicit threat crystal clear. Whether she hurt Sofia or Paul the devastation would be the same. For Sofia losing the love of her life or for Sofia’s family losing their only daughter, it’s horrific, unimaginable; it’s insane.
“I can break up with him.” My voice starts to break at this, “but I can’t make him stay away, I’ve tried before.” I stifle my tears I can’t imagine the desolation, Sofia would never be the same if anything happened to Paul, he is her light.
“Oh I know, but I have something that may help with that, you need to do it soon, I have plans.” She says in a bright sing song voice. “Tomorrow, tomorrow evening, I’ll pop round, you know as a shoulder.”
“Why Kit?” I can’t help my morbid curiosity.
“The money runs out darling sister and I want a man, simple. But I can’t tell you how much better it is now I know that it’s your man.” Her girlish laugh is hollow. She is pure evil.
“Will you make him happy, do you even care?” I can’t bear the thought of Daniel’s pain.
“Ha! Darling, like that even matters.” She dismisses me with a shrill biting cry. The line goes dead. I fall to the floor and cry. I cry until my eyes are dry.
My phone rings again and I take it into my bedroom and crawl into bed. “Hey sister, it’s late, everything alright?”
“Calling to ask you
the same, I tried to call you earlier but the line was busy. Just wanted to check you’re Ok?”
I snort a loud laugh. “Is it too late to have another glass of wine?”
“You go sister, I’ll join you, Paul’s dead to the world.” I get a chill at this quip. “So what does she want?”
“Oh I was right, she wants him, told me he’s just fucking me. I’m his charity case and that’s why he’s never taken me out, out.” I sniff back more tears that threaten.
“That’s bullshit Bets, and you know it!, Fuck she’s a total bitch!” Sofia’s volume is such I have to hold the phone away from my ear.
“She is . . .” I hesitate, “but she’s also right.” My voice is sad but I have no more tears, so my shoulders just move with little dry sobs.
“Ah babe, its bullshit, she’s just going for the jugular; hitting your insecurities’ with a freight train. She’s seen you two together right?” I mumble agreement. “Well then.” She doesn’t elaborate as if that was evidence enough. “She’s desperate, desperate and low, and evil and did I mention she’s a huge bitch?”
“You might’ve said something along those lines.” She’s made me giggle.
“You can’t walk away from this Bets, you have to play her game long enough for Daniel to see her for what she is. She can’t sustain that level of duplicity indefinitely.”
“I’m not so sure; she’s had lots of practice and she presses my buttons. She’s this total ice queen and I’m a raging bag of crazy by comparison. I’d stay clear of me and I know me!”
“He loves you Bets, simple, and it’s worth fighting for.”
“She threatened me, well not me directly but people I care about and I can’t . . . you know I can’t Sofs. I won’t!” I am adamant.
“Oh she didn’t?” She laughs. “See? She is desperate! She knows I’m Italian right? I know people!” Her bravado almost visible. I imagine she’s tipping her chin high and flipping her fingers up in an aggressive sweep.
“You know people in catering! So steady on Ms Soprano. Daniel is worth fighting for but not at any cost.” I let out a very sad breath. “She’s a disease and I’m going to treat her like an addict would their disease; one day at a time”
“It’s a start, better than that flight shit you’re so good at.” She blows a loud kiss. “Night sister.”
“Night.” I blow one right back and put the phone down. I still may fly.
Oh I love these dreams. I moan seductively and move languidly entwined on soft sheets that float against my skin which is warm and feels like silk. The warmth of his strong legs, the rough hairs scratching as he folds his leg over mine. Pushing back between mine, opening me with his weight, pressing his hard cock in the crack of my bottom and sliding slowly, tempting me to wake with this erotic movement. His hot breath on my neck, my eyes are heavy, I am aroused in my sleep. My breasts ache and I reach to squeeze and release the rising pressure, my lips part and I hear his deep moan in my dream. He feels so real I don’t want to wake.
“I don’t want to let you go.” I whisper.
“Then don’t.” His voice is urgent, it’s a demand. I wake when I feel his real weight on me. His legs forcing mine wide, his eyes wild and lust filled.
“Daniel!” I gasp. He captures my mouth forcing my lips wider, his tongue plunges into me stealing my breath. He sucks my tongue and bites my lower lip as he pulls back; he is trying to consume me.
“You’re mine. You don’t get to make that choice.” His eyes are dark and dangerous. He is going to take me, I can feel his need for possession as he feels my need to be possessed. He pulls my wrists above my head and growls. “Don’t move them, hold onto the boards if that helps.” I obey. He fixes his mouth on my neck biting and sucking sending an intense rush of heat and need to my core and I twist with the overwhelming pent up passion. “Don’t move.” His voice is deep and husky, commanding. I still, but this inability to evade this building pleasure causes my whole body to tremble with anticipation and I’m rewarded with a satisfying grumble that resonates deep in his chest.
He moves roughly down my body latching on to my hard aching nipple and swirly his molten hot tongue around and pulling the sensitive tip between his teeth, holding me on the edge, feeling my breath hitch but not release. He looks through heavy lidded eyes directly at me with a sinful grin and undiluted animal lust in his blue black eyes. He releases me tortuously slowly firing my pain sensors with the rough graze of his teeth my back starts to twitch and the muscles contract forcing the slightest curve of my spine. He sinks his full weight pinning me immobile and I pant with frustration, my body a sheen of perspiration and alive with a flush of prickles sweeping across my skin. He moves down my body one hand remains holding and massaging my breast, his other traces down my torso. His nails lightly catching my hyper sensitive skin which flames at his touch. He uses his shoulder to spread my legs wide and he sits up and holds my inner thighs his big strong hands, pushing me wider. I am so open, so vulnerable, so turned on.
My thighs start to tremble with the strain of his extra weight on the muscle and he uses his strong thumbs to smooth the quivering flesh. My heart is racing, pumping blood loudly in my ears and I can feel my swollen clit throb with desperate need for some pressure, some friction, any attention at all and I know I’ll be howling like a banshee. He meets my eyes which must be pleading and flashes me a wickedly sexy smile. “Something you want to say baby?” He says darkly.
“Please.” My voice barely a whisper, it’s all I can say. “Please, please Daniel” If I could move I would be on my knees begging.
“Oh baby I love it when you beg.” His mouth tips up on one side and he slowly sucks the large pad of his thumb between his soft full lips; raising a brow he lowers his hand and with the lightest pressure presses my aching clit in small full circles.
“Fuck!” I scream, my hips jerk clean off the bed and he quickly secures me with the force of his other arm across my waist. My sex clenches, spasm after spasm ripples through my core and tiny white dots float across my tightly squeezed eyelids. I catch my breath my whole body shaking from the speed and intensity of the orgasm he held in his fingertips. “Fuck.” My breathing slows and I feel my inner contractions ebb, “Fuck.” He kisses me hard and laughs roughly.
“I love it when you talk dirty, I’ve missed you talking dirty.” My eyes widen, is he serious about our Late Night Calls? I don’t have time to ponder as he dives between my still spread legs and sweeps is hot tongue deep along my soaking wet folds. He moans and the vibrations from the sound sends a ripple of pleasure deep inside me. He licks and laps, his tongue dipping inside and swirling around the sensitive nub of nerve endings, all the more sensitive from my recent explosive climax. I instantly feel the uncontrollable pulse of an impending orgasm start to build and he must feel it too because his tongue becomes more forceful, tasting and moving rapidly from tip to entrance. This and my immobility is driving me insane and I cry and whimper at his incessant ministrations.
“Ah, ah Daniel, oh God, please, please.” I press my head hard against my pillow wanting to thrash it wildly side to side. My knuckles pure white as I grip the boards above my head hoping the cheap wood will not splinter in my grip. He shifts and purses his lips tight over my clit and sucks in the most deliciously intense and erotically painful manor, I crash, plummet from a bliss he so brutally demands. My thighs start to spasm, my body trembles, even my fingers shake and I try to suck in some desperately needed oxygen. He continues to lick me intimately, reverently, softening my fall until I am limp and sated.
He rears up from between my legs, gloriously naked, his taught tanned body glistens with sweat, his scent is raw and his eyes are predatory. “Mine.” He roughly forces the word through his tight jaw and I shiver all over again. He is slowly fisting his hard angry cock, the tip dewy with pre-cum and I lick my lips and swallow. He holds my stare and it’s possibly the most erotically charged moment in my life. This perfect male hard for me, possessive of me; feral for me.
He kneels closer and presses the velvet head of his thick wide cock against my lips, smearing his juices along my lips. I flick my tongue to taste and the desire I feel escapes as a small moan from the back of my throat. “Don’t move, just take what I give you.” His voice is deeply calm but the inflection tells of the control his is fighting to maintain, the thought makes me smile. My smiles dissolves quickly as he pushes deep into my mouth, my tongue swirling his tip, lightly licking the slit and tasting him. I use my tongue and lips to bring him in deep and he holds my head giving me the support I need to take him deeper still. His hips start to move and he throws his head back with a loud moan.
His cock lengthens and he is fighting his desire to fuck me hard, he is holding back. I can feel him thicken and his veins pulse, I hollow my cheeks and try to swallow him into the back of my throat but he controls all the depth. Frustrated, I shift up slightly, taking my hand I grab his fine muscular arse feeling the flexion as he continues to pump his hips. My nails dig into his flesh and he releases a guttural sound from deep in his throat. “I said to keep your hands. . . . Ahh! Fuck.” I push myself forward and swallow him to the back of my throat and with his thrust he hits me hard. The muscles in my throat reflexing in defence at this intrusion, closing tightly around him. My grip on his arse tightens and my tongue frantically laps him as he withdraws slightly but understanding my need to have him, all of him, he slams his palm against the wall, fisting my hair tight with the other he starts to fuck my mouth without reservation. He pumps hard and fast moaning in agonising pleasure. I take my other hand and wrap tightly around the base of his cock he instantly thickens in my grip; his balls tighten and hips jerk forward as he comes shooting torrents of scorching hot semen on my tongue and down the back of my throat. I swallow and lick and I’m still pumping him when he pulls from my mouth still coming, releasing whatever he has left on my breasts. He hovers and I pull every last drop from him onto myself, his breathing is still fierce, he sits back and wipes his hand through his essence, smearing the warm cream across my breasts and stomach. “Mine.” He declares. I look down at my sticky body seeing the red marks he has left on my breast, no doubt on my neck too, marking me as his. I am under no illusion that tonight was about anything else.
