“Well, we’ll have to see what we can do. I believe she’s a bit tied up at the moment.”
“That’s exactly what I was hoping for,” he said, “so I can eat her up and down while she squirms in pleasure.”
I almost dropped my phone. My heart was racing. “No, I mean she has other engagements until later this evening.” I shifted my weight in my chair.
“Well, maybe I can make an appointment for later then. I can meet her anywhere.”
“I will have her call you later. How’s that, sir?”
“I can hardly wait, ma’am. Tell her I’m starving for her.”
“Will do. I hear she’s pretty famished herself. Ta-ta, lover.”
And I hung up. I was in a daze as I got up and put my phone back in my purse. I went into the bathroom and shut the door. I wet a paper towel and dabbed my forehead, my neck and chest, then took a good look in the mirror. I was changing right before my own eyes. At one time, I had been all career and money and achievement. I was Harry’s wife and partner. But that life had become so lonely. Now I wanted exactly what Sonny was offering: flirting and playfulness, passion and romance. I looked again at my face in the bathroom mirror and I could see it in my eyes. Happiness.
I actually liked what I saw. A fuller, more satisfied woman was looking back at me. And the source of this change was a man I had known most of my life. Why was I changing so much? Maybe it was Vivi and her baby. Maybe it was my new deeper understanding of Kitty. Vivi was making a family, and my need for Kitty was changing and growing. It seemed family was what I wanted, too. Deep down it’s what I knew I had always wanted, but life with Harry had become an exciting roller coaster ride for our careers.
I swallowed hard as I began to realize that maybe some of the fault for my marriage ending was mine. I never talked to Harry about anything I really wanted, other than to be his partner. I let him lead. I had become lazy. Following him was just easier than thinking for myself. I could go on autopilot and not have to worry. I did love him so much at one time. He was my ideal dream man on the outside. Preppy, outgoing and confident.
I exhaled, thinking of Sonny, who was my dream man inside and out. It would be a fresh start for me. But could I do it? Was I about to fail at this relationship, too? Was I cut out to be a cop’s wife? That’s why I knew we had to talk as soon as we could.
I headed back to my office just as Wanda Jo was ringing to announce the Fru Fru boys’ arrival.
Coco entered the conference room first and leaned over for a quick air kiss. “Hey, Blake. My, my, don’t you look like a Ralph Lauren magazine ad today.”
“Yes, you need to be on a runway, my dear,” Jean-Pierre said as they both took their seats for our final meeting before the big bridal-baby-bash.
“Let’s get right to the list,” I said, so glad that this shower was almost behind me.
“We are prepared to have Miss Meridee’s house decorated first thing tomorrow morning. An ice sculpture is being delivered at 2:00 p.m., with the party starting at 2:30. We’ve arranged for a fashion show of mother-daughter outfits, and then we’ll have a full makeover done on every guest.” Coco finished up with a big smile. “Then we all head down to the river to see the genie.”
“My God,” Jean-Pierre said, “she is not a genie, she’s a soothsayer.”
At this point, I decided to give up on telling them Miss Myra was a psychic. They could call her a witch at this point, so long as we pulled this bash off for Vivi.
“What time is the wizard expecting us?” Coco asked.
“Meridee tells me around four o’clock, so that should give us lots of time for the makeovers,” Jean-Pierre replied.
“All of that sounds great,” I said. “What are the decorations going to look like at Meridee’s?”
“Well,” Jean-Pierre said, “it has been a teeny bit tricky with it being both a baby shower and a wedding shower. We don’t get too many of those.” He smiled and peered over his glasses. “The pink theme worked for both, so we’ve ordered pink glitter wedding bells and, trying to be tasteful, we will be hanging little baby girl clothes on a little clothesline as a back drop behind the cake.”
“We thought this was a much more aesthetically pleasing idea than that baby piñata,” Coco added. “I mean really, who wants to beat a baby till all the candy falls out? Ridiculous.”
I laughed out loud. Who knew where they came up with this stuff. I was just glad they’d steered away from the piñata idea.
Jean-Pierre crossed his legs and continued. “The cake has been ordered and will be picked up early in the morning. It’s pink, of course. And it will require a little time to construct it. We want it to be a surprise, though, so that’s all I can say for now.” His eyebrows went up and he grinned. I hoped I was smart to trust him.
“Anything else?” Jean-Pierre began to put his things away.
“No, I think we are right on track,” I said, relieved.
Coco checked off the list. “Now, as far as the wedding plans go, we’ve got the restaurant booked. Hotel rooms reserved. Flowers ordered. Videographer and photographers slated. There are a few nitpicky things left, but we still have over a month to work ’em all out, so we’re doing fine.”
“Then we’re all set. I will meet y’all at Meridee’s at ten o’clock tomorrow!”
I hugged them goodbye and Wanda Jo took their numbers in case she ever had to call them for me. She got up and showed them out.
“Those two are a sight. I actually thought I was seeing a fashion show when they walked in. They were dressed better’an me.” She laughed. “Here are a few messages. Your next appointment cancelled. They’ll come next week instead.”
“Thanks, Wanda Jo. What would I ever do without you?”
“Luckily, you’ll never have to know,” she said. “Now listen, I need to tell you something. A friend of mine overheard Dallas asking someone on the phone why you’re never seen with Harry, except when stumping. She’s convinced you’re not living at home. My friend was asking me about it, but I just played dumb.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
God, that Dallas was a menace. I tried calling Harry to tell him, but ended up leaving a voice mail. I tried Sonny with the same result. He and Bonita were busy working on Walter’s case, but another murder had also come in several days ago, so he was doing a lot of running around.
After a few hours of work, I got a text message from Sonny.
Hey, babe, what’s up?
My fingers flew over the little keyboard. How about we meet at your place for some dinner? I thought I’d swing by and grab some Chinese on the way. How does that sound?
Sounds like fun, sugar. I’ll wrap it all up here and meet you at home later.
I could almost see him smiling. I loved what he’d written next.
Meet you at home.
A home with him was what I truly wanted, but we still needed to talk. Maybe now I was uncovering the real reason I had never married Sonny in the first place.
33
I arrived at Sonny’s as dusk settled in, his wooden front porch lit with the last peeks of sun. His house was set way out from sight, down a one-lane gravel road. Trees and overgrown shrubbery bending in on either side, making it even more private.
Sonny lived on about seven acres. His parents had owned it before him. His property was covered in trees, wooded, like a small forest. No one would even know there was a house down this dirt road if they were just out for a drive. It couldn’t be seen from any street. It was secluded and private. But Dallas knew where it was ’cause she’d crawl through kudzu a mile thick for a freakin’ story. She was determined like that. But unless she was out there specifically trying to spy on us tonight, my car shouldn’t be seen where I was parking it.
I could see Sonny in the living room through the glass door. He
caught my headlights and stepped out onto the porch. A knot formed in my stomach when I thought about revealing all the doubts I’d been having.
“Hey, beautiful, get in here and give this old boy some lovin’,” Sonny said, reaching out to hug me. “Gosh, you’re a sight for sore eyes. So we eatin’ in bed or we gonna be civilized?”
“Let’s eat in the kitchen,” I said as I pulled away and walked inside with the bag of Chinese food in one hand.
“Sounds good and smells even better.” Sonny kissed my cheek and followed me into his kitchen and helped me set up the takeout. We ate and kept the conversation light. I knew he was confused that I didn’t jump to react to all his sexual teasing.
We finished up and I walked around the center island and slipped my hand in his.
“Sonny, let’s go to the swing,” I said, trying not to let him see through me.
But of course he did.
“What’s that I see in those beautiful eyes, baby?” he asked, kissing my hand as he held it.
“I need to ask you a few things and, well, let’s just go outside and talk for a while,” I said, pulling him toward the porch. The night air was wet and sultry. We sat on the swing in the dim amber light.
“What’s botherin’ you, Blake?”
“Am I that obvious?” I asked, looking up at him.
“I always could see right through that ‘I’m tryin’ to be brave’ smile. Besides, your eyes give you away every time.”
“I’m scared, Sonny. The other night, it really hit me that I could lose you. Anytime. Any second. Bad guys don’t care whether or not someone is at home waiting on you to return.”
He pulled me closer. “But I’m not always in danger, baby. I’m okay. I’m careful and I’m good at what I do. You just have to trust that.”
“I’m trying to trust that but it’s hard, you know? By four in the morning, I was pretty hysterical with worry. You can’t imagine what I was like.”
“Yes, I can,” he said sadly. “I went through this same thing with my ex-wife, Laura. She couldn’t handle it, either.”
Silence followed as I pulled away and looked up at him. “That’s why Laura left?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He leaned back and took a deep breath, but his normal enthusiasm for life was missing. “Laura said the lifestyle of a cop’s wife was just too much for her. The nerve-racked, sleepless nights. Waiting for the phone to ring with news you don’t want to hear. She said she’d lay awake for hours, praying no one would knock at the door to say, ‘We hate to inform you, Ms. Bartholomew, but your husband won’t be coming home again.’”
Ice chilled my veins. “Did she just walk out?”
“She left after I got wounded that last time. It was only a minor knifing but, by then, apparently even that was too much for her. Her things were gone by the time I got dismissed from the E.R.”
“I had no idea.”
“That’s why we never had any kids. She said she just couldn’t bring a child into this world if they stood a chance of losing their dad. She knew I was a cop, but reality hit her when I would have to go out on a call. She worried herself sick most of the time.”
“Oh, Sonny, I’m so sorry.”
“I do know it’s hard. It’s a lot to ask of anybody. But it’s what I do. This is the only career for me.”
I sat there in silence, the old wooden swing creaking as we swayed back and forth. Suddenly, the crickets sounded louder and the silence between us began to suffocate me. I didn’t know what to say. I needed to say something. I swallowed hard.
“Sonny, I’m not sure I can do it, either.” There it was. Out there.
He cleared his throat and swallowed.
“Don’t you believe in fate, Blake? I mean, if I lived my life so worried about every single second that I didn’t know for absolute certain that you were safe, I would drive myself nuts. It works the same way for me, too.”
“No, you know I’m not out there every minute chasing down murderers and criminals. I don’t have to have a gun on me at all times.” I felt the tears coming. I wanted to stop this conversation. I hated the direction we were going.
“Exactly. I do because I know how and when to use it. Technically, I’m safer than you.” He was trying his best to reason here but I was just an emotional wreck. Reason wasn’t about to make it into my already full head.
“Blake, listen to me. I am a big believer in fate. When it’s my time, it will be my time. I can’t live my life expecting to die. All I can do is live it to the fullest until my time is up. That’s what being a policeman has taught me. You just never know when that time is. You could die from a heart attack, the flu, the bus that comes around a corner too fast. Or maybe you die in your nineties, next to the woman you loved your whole life—even if you were a cop.”
“But you’re pushing fate this way,” I argued. “I was so worried that night. I was up pacing until you called. If I do that all the time I will go crazy from lack of sleep. And I’m...I’m...” I inhaled a deep breath. “I’m afraid I will do that every single time.”
“If you do, it hinders me ’cause I’ll be worried about you sitting home by the phone. I won’t be safe ’cause my mind will be on you and thinking about when I can get to a safe place and call. It could put me in danger not to be focused on the job at hand.” He stopped and looked deeply at me. “You gotta think about this, Blake. It’s important and I’ve already been through it once before. It’s not an easy life to live, the life of a cop’s wife. Only you will know deep down if you can handle it.”
“I want to. I promise, Sonny, I want to. But I need some time, okay? I need to figure out how I can do it. And I will figure it out. Nothing is more important to me than having you.” I snuggled into his neck and closed my eyes.
Could I do it? If I ever worried, I couldn’t tell him. Then that would worry him. Could I keep it all bottled up inside all the time for the rest of my life? I knew if I wanted a life with Sonny, this was part of the deal. Was it a deal I could make?
Tomorrow was Vivi’s shower and we’d be celebrating her upcoming marriage and new life. I was so happy for her, but I was wrought with worry that I might wind up just like Kitty if I wasn’t careful. Too many husbands.
34
I got up early the next day, dressed for the shower extravaganza and headed straight over to Meridee’s to wait for the Fru Fru boys. The day was finally here, and I let the excitement soothe my soul. It had taken some extra makeup, but I didn’t think the ravages of my tears from the previous night were noticeable anymore.
I plastered the biggest smile I could muster on my face and went up the stairs at Meridee’s. I entered the house, and its peace enveloped me as always. Meridee gave me a big hug, just a little longer than usual. “You okay, sugar?”
“I’m great, Nanny.” I ducked my head. Maybe I needed to pack on a few more layers of makeup protection around her. No matter, she would be able to see right through it. “You look beautiful today. Are the planners here yet?”
“Not yet.” She kept scurrying around the kitchen, setting out food as though a whole van full of goodies wasn’t about to arrive any minute.
“I hope everything’s okay. The Fru Frus were s’posed to be here half an hour ago,” I said, taking a cup of coffee from her. “They are always so prompt, too.”
“I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”
I frowned. “Maybe I better give them a call. They have so much to do here to get this place ready for this afternoon. I mean, their decorations are amazing. That’s why we hired them.”
“Now, Blake, you know it will all work out,” Meridee said.
I wasn’t so sure. Maybe I was still feeling the effects of worrying about Sonny over the past few nights, but I felt like something was wrong.
I reached for my cell phone and punched in Jea
n-Pierre’s number. No answer. I left a voice mail. “Hey, y’all, it’s Blake. Just checking in to see where y’all are. It’s about 10:45 and I am here waiting at Meridee’s. Call me.”
I hung up and sat still, thinking the worst. We had only about ten people coming today. Vivi’s two cousins were coming in from Tennessee, and her one journalist friend from her days at the Tuscaloosa News years ago. She’d also invited a couple of old friends from our University of Alabama college days. I could come up with food in a pinch, but I sure wasn’t the Fru Fru boys.
They had planned quite an elaborate event, several cakes, specifically created for Vivi. Then there was the fashion show with mother/child models, all the makeover artists and the over-the-top decorations, including a five-foot ice sculpture!
I started pacing. I called the number again. No answer.
“Blake, sit down, you’re gonna wear yourself out before the party even starts,” Meridee said as she washed the biscuit pan and stuck it in the dish rack.
I kept peering over the sink out the kitchen window, looking down the driveway. I dared not call Vivi. She would fly into a major panic, and that meant superdrama. I wasn’t up to that this morning.
I fumbled around in my bag and found Coco’s personal card in an inside pocket. I dialed the number with my heart thumping. No answer. I left another message, this one a little more agitated. They were nearly an hour late and I couldn’t reach them. A Fru Fru Affair was never late. Ever.
I checked the clock, figuring if I could run over to Piggly Wiggly and get a cake, then maybe I could throw together a rush job bridal-baby-bash shower myself. I peered over the window one more time when my cell phone rang. Oh, thank God and all his angels, it was Jean-Pierre. I hit speakerphone.
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