“Are you moving back here, or…how long are you staying?”
“Why? Are you trying to get rid of me already?”
“No! I just can’t believe you’re back! You’re really back.” Jasmine felt tears pool in her bottom lids as she threw her arms around Nan’s neck.
“Aw, my sweet girl.” Nan patted Jasmine’s back. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
As much as Jasmine loved hearing that from Nan, there was one other person she wished felt the same way…
Chapter 22
Leo leaned across the sink and wiped the steam from the glass. When he saw his reflection, he stared at it for a moment. He looked different. Or maybe he’d just never taken the time to actually look at himself closely. Either way, he barely recognized the man in front of him.
It wasn’t his appearance that had changed, necessarily. It was more how he saw himself. How he saw the world. Everything was different now that he’d met Jasmine.
And he wasn’t exactly sure how to make sense of it.
Last night, something had shifted between the two of them. She’d opened up to him, trusted him, when she’d told him about feeling alone. And he realized that he never wanted her to feel that way again.
He wasn’t sure what that meant for his future, but he did know that he wanted her in it. Obviously, that meant he was going to be putting down roots. He’d prefer not to give up his work with the non-profit completely, but he would if it came down to a choice between Jasmine and the work. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that, though. Callum could handle things on the ground and he could work remotely. Or they could bring someone else on.
He’d work it out because one thing was clear to Leo now: he’d do anything for Jasmine and her unborn baby. Sometime in the past few weeks, he’d fallen in love with her. Maybe he’d even fallen in love with her the moment he’d seen her picture. He wasn’t sure, but he knew that he loved her. He was in love with her.
Strangely enough, it had finally fully dawned on him when she’d asked him why he’d kept going back to Clancy, someone he’d thought he loved. He realized in that moment that he may have loved his ex as a person, but he’d never been in love with her. He’d always heard people talk about love and being in love as two separate things, but he’d never truly understood the difference until that moment.
When he was with Clancy, he’d never missed her like he missed Jasmine. And they’d spent months at a time apart. He didn’t worry about Clancy like he worried about Jasmine. He didn’t look at Clancy from across the room and feel like they were the only two people in it.
The reason he’d kept taking her back was because they always laughed and had fun when they were together. He respected the hell out of her ambition and work ethic. She was brilliant and, until he’d laid eyes on Jasmine, he’d never met anyone he was more attracted to. So, when she would want to reconcile, he’d never had a reason not to take her back, because he did love her. He’d just never been in love with her.
There was a very real distinction.
He’d honestly been confused when his ex had called things off the final time and told him he was emotionally unavailable and bad at intimacy. In his mind, he’d been faithful, honest, supportive—all of the things that he considered a good partner to be. But now he understood.
It took him thirty-six years, but he finally knew what real love was.
A smile spread on his face, picturing Jasmine’s expression when she’d turned around and seen him after Nan showed up. He’d been excited to meet the woman who was so instrumental and important in Jasmine’s life, but his curly-haired angel did not seem as enthusiastic.
He was fairly certain he’d pushed his luck when he’d kissed her on the forehead, but he just couldn’t help himself.
After he got dressed, he planned on texting Jasmine to see if he could take her and Nan out to lunch and try and make up for this morning. He didn’t want Nan to get the wrong idea about him. Or, better yet, maybe just pop by, since Jasmine wasn’t always the best at returning texts.
Feeling good about that plan Leo secured the towel around his waist and picked up his beard trimmer. It had just buzzed to life when he heard a knock on his front door. Abandoning his grooming, he rushed to open it, expecting Jasmine to be on the other side. He’d shown up on her doorstep more times than he could count but this was the first time she’d shown up on his.
With a wide smile on his face, he flung the door open and when he did he was shocked at what, or who, he found there.
“Clancy?”
His ex looked exactly the same as she had four years ago when she’d told him that they were over for the last time. Her long dark hair fell around her shoulders, and her bright blue eyes looked up at him through a bed of dark, thick lashes. She wore a silk blouse, pencil skirt, and heels that accentuated her curves. She was gorgeous, truly stunning…but she wasn’t Jasmine.
The thought hit him that there was a very real possibility that he may never be attracted to another woman as long as he lived.
“Hi. Can I come in?” she asked, looking uncharacteristically unsure of herself.
“Um, sure.” He moved to the side, and when she walked in, she reached up and gave him a hug.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and was surprised to feel nothing when he did. More than nothing, in fact. If anything, it was a little awkward. One of the things he and Clancy had always shared was a familiarity, a comfort. It didn’t matter how long they’d been apart, when they saw each other again they’d fall right back into being them like no time had passed at all.
As they embraced now, he noted that physically, nothing had changed. Her head rested on the exact spot it always did just above his heart, she still smelled the same, held him the same way. But it felt different. The connection they’d once shared was gone.
When she lowered her arms Leo closed the door.
Clancy’s eyes scanned downwards. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
It was then that he realized he was only wearing a terry cloth towel.
“I just got out of the shower, let me go throw something on.”
He walked down the hall to the bedroom and heard Clancy’s heels clicking on the hardwood flooring. The sound was as familiar as the Chanel perfume she wore.
Wanting to get back so she didn’t have time to snoop, he rushed through getting dressed. Clancy always hid behind being an investigative journalist as her excuse for being nosy, but in his mind, she just liked snooping around. He’d never had anything to hide, he just didn’t want her going through his things.
He grabbed the first clothes he came across, which happened to be a pair of drawstring gray sweats and a T-shirt. He felt underdressed as he went back to the front room, but he hadn’t been expecting company.
When he rounded the corner, he knew his Clark-Kent-in-a-phone-booth quick-change routine had been warranted. She was rifling through some paperwork he had sitting on his dining room table.
“Anything good?” he asked.
She smiled as she responded the way she always did when he’d caught her scrolling through his phone or rummaging through his drawers. “Not really. Pretty boring, as usual.”
“Some things never change.”
“And some things do.” She smiled and he could see there was pain behind it.
“Can I get you a tea, some coffee, water?” he offered.
She flinched as if his question had hit her like a verbal slap in the face. “Whoa, I really am a guest, huh.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, I was just—”
“Being polite,” she cut him off. “I know, it was just strange having you talk to me like that.”
“Like what?” He hadn’t been rude, the opposite of that.
“Like I’m a visitor, an acquaintance, not someone that you know intimately. Like I’m the Avon lady.”
“Sorry.” Leo put his hands in his pockets not sure of what else to say.
“Don’t apologize.” She took
a deep breath as her voice wavered. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
A heavy silence hung between them. He wanted to suggest that they sit on the couch, but he felt like he was walking in an emotional minefield and he didn’t want to misstep. He could see that she was upset and he didn’t want to make it worse.
She wiped below her eye as she sniffed. “I guess you’re wondering what I’m doing here.”
“I’m happy to see you, but the thought had crossed my mind.”
“I came for Leah and Lance’s wedding.”
“How do you know Leah and Lance?”
“I did a story on them a few months back when they rescued a dog that had been hit by a car.”
“Oh, that’s right.” His mom had sent him Clancy’s piece on the dog story. He’d watched the piece and even forwarded it to his grandparents.
“I went to the reception to do a quick follow-up interview. I was only there about fifteen minutes.”
“I didn’t see you there. You must’ve come after I left.” Which was odd because he and Jasmine had been two of the last people to leave.
“You were there. I saw you.”
“You did? Why didn’t you come say hi?”
“You were…busy.” With a resigned grin, she continued, “I’m going to be honest. I knew you were back in Harper’s Crossing and I pitched the follow-up story because I wanted an excuse to see you again. I was hoping we could pick up where we left off.”
Leo opened his mouth to say something. What, he didn’t know, but he needed to make it clear that that was not going to happen.
She lifted her hand. “You don’t have to say anything. I know that’s not going to happen. I saw you with her.” She took a deep breath. “You never looked at me the way you looked at her. I only came by today because I needed to make sure that it was really about her, and not that you had finally gotten over your commitment issues and were ready for something real.” She started shaking her head as a single tear fell down her face. “As soon as you opened the door I knew, I could see it in your eyes. It’s her. You’re in love with her.”
Agreeing felt like it would be rubbing salt in a wound, but he also didn’t want to lie and deny what he felt. So instead of doing either, he apologized. “I’m sorry, Clancy. I’m sorry for not being the man you deserve. I really am.”
Another tear fell down her cheek as she nodded. “I know. I know you are. And I’m sorry for just showing up like this. I guess I just needed to see for myself. I needed closure.”
More tears pooled in her eyes. She took a shaky breath as she headed for the door. There’d been a time when he’d been the only person she’d let see her cry. But she was right, some things had changed.
She stopped directly in front of him and said softly, “Goodbye, Leo,” as she rose on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his.
When he didn’t return the kiss, she lowered back down. Her blue eyes glistened with emotion as she looked up at him. “Wow, it really is goodbye this time, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Clancy wiped her cheeks and sniffed back the emotional dam that he knew was about to burst as a sad smile lifted on her lips. “I feel like Martha Shaw.”
Leo’s brows knitted, uncertain of who she was talking about.
“She’s the girl that Ryan Gosling is dating before Rachel McAdams comes back to town. She shows up at his house and meets her.”
“Oh, right. The Notebook.” It was one of Clancy’s favorite movies; they’d watched it at least once a month when they were together.
Leo felt horrible for causing his ex pain. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she tilted her head and placed her hand on his chest. “She’s your Allie, Noah. She’s your Allie.”
Then she was gone. He stood at the door and watched as Clancy drove away.
Clancy was good at her job. Her investigative instincts and skills were like none he’d ever witnessed. Nine times out of ten, she got things right. And she was right about this.
Jasmine was his Allie, and he was her Noah. The only question was, did she know that?
Chapter 23
It’s none of my business. It’s none of my business. It’s none of my business.
It wasn’t the normal mantra that Jasmine meditated on while in Sukhasana—or, in layman’s terms, crisscross applesauce pose—at the end of class. But after what she’d seen this morning when she and Nan left for brunch, it was the only thing she could say to calm herself down.
The scene, she feared, was going to be seared in her mind’s eye for the rest of her life. A woman had been standing on Leo’s porch. He’d opened the door in a towel, hugged her, and then she walked inside.
She hadn’t seen the woman’s face but Jasmine knew that she was gorgeous. There were just some people that exuded attractiveness from every angle. Leo’s mystery visitor was one of those women. Straight, dark, shiny hair fell to her mid-back, complementing her classic hourglass figure, complete with slim waist, a perfect heart-shaped butt, and well-toned calves. They weren’t visible, but Jasmine had to assume her upper legs were just as lovely.
Thankfully, Nan hadn’t known that Leo lived across the street, so she’d remained blissfully unaware of what Jasmine had witnessed.
Jasmine thought of telling her. It would be proof that Nan had been wrong, and Leo obviously didn’t take what he and Jasmine were doing seriously. But not even the satisfaction of an epic I-told-you-so moment was enough for Jasmine to acknowledge out loud what she’d seen.
Telling Nan would force Jasmine to face an I-told-you-so moment herself. Because she’d told herself over and over again not to read too much into what was going on between herself and Leo. She’d told herself not to get attached. She’d told herself that sleeping together didn’t mean anything.
All day, she’d had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Tears spontaneously welled in her eyes, which thankfully she’d been able to attribute to being overwhelmed by Nan’s surprise return. That, and the hormones.
She’d been telling herself all day that it didn’t matter who the woman was or what she and Leo were doing. And that was true. She knew it logically. They’d made no promises to each other, taken no vows.
But, still, she just couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d betrayed her. This was how she’d expected to feel when she’d walked in on Corbin, a guy that she was engaged to and who she’d been with close to half her life. Not some guy she wasn’t even technically dating.
Unfortunately, just like every other thing that had to do with Leo, nothing about her reaction made sense.
He hadn’t betrayed her, so why did it feel like he had? Why did she keep crying? Why did she want to get into her bed, pull the blankets over her head, and hide there?
Her bed. Even that was tainted by him.
When she got home, she’d pull the sheets off and wash them. The last thing she needed was to smell him on her pillow.
Her phone vibrated against her leg, indicating the class was over.
“Okay, open your eyes.”
Slowly, one by one, each of the student’s lids lifted.
“Thank you for a great class. I hope to see you next week.” She placed her hands in prayer position. “Namaste.”
“Namaste,” the class repeated.
As she stood and said goodbye while people filtered out, she saw a few of them not-so-subtly looking at her stomach. Since she was starting to show, and she’d told all the closest people in her life, she figured that she should probably start making announcements in her classes sooner rather than later. The best way to nip rumors in the bud was to get out in front of them.
“Great class, lady!” Sophie Sloan enthused as she pulled Jasmine into a brief hug.
“Thanks.”
“Soooo,” Sophie’s mouth made an O as she drug out the word. “Did you hear the gossip at the wedding?”
“Gossip?”
Was it about her and Leo? They’d been together the entire night. Or did people
know that she was pregnant? Her dress was loose fitting but her pooch was definitely getting more pronounced. She wasn’t sure which she’d rather it be.
“Leo the Lion Tamer’s ex was there?” Sophie wagged her brows.
“She was?” The sick feeling she’d had intensified to the point that she thought she might throw up.
He hadn’t said anything to Jasmine about seeing his ex. But after this morning, she was beginning to think there was a lot he hadn’t told her.
Oh, wait. Had that been his ex visiting him?
“And guess who it is.” Sophie’s eyes widened.
“Who?” Jasmine felt like she was going to throw up.
“Clancy Grant.”
“Channel eight news, Clancy Grant?”
“Yes. Dating Disaster’s Clancy Grant.”
Holy shit!
Clancy Grant was gorgeous. Not girl next door gorgeous. No, she was Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr, Irina Shayk, Victoria’s Secret model gorgeous.
No wonder Jasmine had known that she was attractive without seeing her face. That woman was hotness personified.
“Leo was stuck to you like white on rice at the wedding. Did he say anything about her? Did he say why they broke up?”
“No. He never said anything about her.”
Sophie started to ask something else when her phone vibrated. She looked at it and said, “Oh shit. That’s Bobby, he’s here to pick me up. Gotta go. Let’s do drinks soon!”
Jasmine nodded, relieved that the conversation was over. She didn’t think she had the emotional bandwidth to try and conceal what a punch in the gut it was, finding out that Clancy Grant was Leo’s ex.
She finished gathering her things and barely said another word to anyone on her way to her car. As soon as she got in the driver’s seat tears began to form in her eyes, but she held them back.
Don’t lose it, she commanded herself.
Just One Touch - Leo & Jasmine (Crossroads Book 16) Page 21
