by Naomi West
“Okay, Mom. I promise.”
She lifted a hand to cup my face before turning away. I stood silent by the counter a few moments longer, the mental images of both a younger Rocky and the older one burned in my mind.
It was strange, I had gone months, maybe years without thinking of him. And now, after a brief encounter, he was all I could think about. Was it just residual affection for the little boy that saved me when I was a kid, or was it something more?
In truth, I felt ashamed. I felt like I’d abandoned a close friend in his time of need. Sure, we hadn’t seen each other in years, and I didn’t know that faintest thing about him anymore, but I still felt the guilt rising up and threatening to choke me.
Breathing deeply, I pushed all thoughts of him from my mind. My mother didn’t ask for much and she’d spent her life trying to protect me. Rationally, I knew she had tried her best and I could never fault her for that. If she didn’t want me to associate with Rocky then I wouldn’t. For her.
Another job would come along eventually, I was sure of it.
Chapter Four
Rocky
“Rocky!” A voice called out.
I put down my wrench and stepped away from my bike, turning to see my uncle walking into my workshop. My uncle Cameron was many things, strong, fierce, dedicated, and a pain in my ass.
“Hey Cameron,” I greeted stiffly. “What’s going on?”
“I was in the neighborhood. And I haven’t seen you at the clubhouse in a few days.”
“Haven’t felt like going,” I grunted then turned back to my bike, picking up my wrench once more. It wasn’t that I had anything against Cameron but sometimes I looked at him a certain way, or he formed a certain expression on his face and bam! It was like I was looking directly at my father. Cameron was the younger brother, though only by a few years.
Him and my dad had an ongoing rivalry throughout their life, so much so that sometimes I wondered if they even got along. But after his death, Cameron became a really solid part of my life. He took over the club, gave me a chance to prove myself and promised he’d help with my plans of vengeance. Despite all this, I couldn’t quite resist looking away whenever he smiled, just so I could avoid the flood of memories and grief.
“Rocky… “
“There haven’t been any meetings, anything urgent. I skipped one club party, I hardly think that’s a crime.”
“I thought you were aiming for VP.”
I shut my eyes hard for a moment before replying. “I am. But Mack is doing a fine job as Vice. I’m committed to the club, you know that. I just want...” I cut my words short, not wanting to continue.
“Son,” Cameron said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
Suppressing the urge to flinch, I turned away from my bike once more and met his steady gaze.
“He was my brother. We’ll get revenge when the time is right.”
I broke eye contact and nodded. He was speaking as my uncle now, a welcome change from how he’d been for the past few months. In my weaker moments, I would think that the power of club President was getting to his head, but I knew I was just bitter.
“Guess who I saw the other day?” he said, changing the subject.
“Who?”
“Daria Barrett.”
“No shit?” I said, feigning surprise. There was no way I wanted my uncle to know that I’d already seen her. He’d get crazy ideas in his head that I didn’t need.
Of course, nothing got past my uncle and he called me out on it immediately. “You knew? How? You haven’t left the shop in days.”
For a moment, it bothered me that he seemed to know my whereabouts at all times, but I supposed he was just trying to care, in his own way. Forcing those thoughts away, I smirked at him, glad to be able to one-up my uncle, even if it was just this once.
“She came to me, actually. Last week. Didn’t even recognize her at first, Christ.”
“Christ is right. She’s all grown up now, Rocky. And looking fine too.”
Scowling, I threw a discarded rag at his head. He tipped his head back and laughed a mighty laugh, one that reminded me of better times.
“I offered her the job here, she hasn’t gotten back to me yet though.”
“You just offered her the job, did you?” He smirked.
I looked around for another dirty towel to throw at him but, coming up empty, I decided to glare instead. “She was qualified.” Actually, I had no idea if she was or not. I suppose I was a bit too taken with her to go through with the formalities.
“I'm sure she was.”
Sick of his questions, I turned my back on him once more and headed to the mini fridge in the corner of the room. I lobbed a beer at his head before I spoke again.
“She hasn’t given me an answer and it’s been a week. I doubt it’ll work out.”
“Rocky, Rocky, Rocky. A girl like that? Go after her.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I ground out. Sure, I wanted her to work here. But I wasn’t going to beg for it. Besides, I had a sneaking suspicion that she’d heard rumors about me around town, and I knew there were plenty to listen to.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew how people talked. And in a town like Springville, people talked a lot. When you were part of Satan’s Wings, you had the entire club at your back, as well as the majority of the town that didn’t care either way. But that also meant that a lot of people assumed you were a nuisance and a troublemaker. It didn’t matter that the club worked hard to make sure that none of our business spilled out into the town and the people. It didn’t matter that we went out of our way to keep the town safe from our rival clubs. I knew that rumors circulated anyway, most of them not coming even close to the truth, though I could admit that a small minority came very close. I also knew that if she was going to listen to those rumors then I didn’t need her around.
“She’d be good for you, I’d say. A distraction. If anyone needs to relax a little it’d be you.”
I pushed away my anger over that comment and instead took a heavy pull from my beer. A part of me was completely prepared to throttle him for bringing Daria up when all I wanted to do was forget. I wasn’t sure why I felt so cut up about her loss. I hadn’t seen her in years and after one quick encounter, I was already too invested in her. But I didn’t think I needed to relax more. I’d been doing far too much of nothing in the past few months. If anything, I wanted to act. I wanted to be doing something, anything, instead of sitting around and waiting for Cameron to decide the next move.
“So? Will you?” Cameron persisted.
“I’ll think about it,” I reluctantly agreed.
The truth was, I knew that a girl like Daria had no business associating with a guy like me. Even when we were younger, her mother had told me to make sure she knew nothing of the club, and I’d kept my promise. Even though we were both older and I’d gone down the path I’d spent most of my life resenting or trying to avoid, a part of me still wanted to protect her. Save her from the kind of life I was now fully immersed in.
Still, Cameron could be right. Maybe I should go talk things over with her, see where her head was at. Maybe she had another reason for never getting back to me. Maybe this entire time I had completely overreacted and she was sitting at home, sick out of her brain and drinking chicken soup. The thought seemed entirely unlikely, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
With that in mind, I decided to pay her a visit to see what was going on. Worst-case scenario, she’d say no, but I’d get to look at her gorgeous face for a little while. To me, that wasn’t a bad trade off at all.
Chapter Five
Daria
I was getting desperate. It had been an entire week since I’d seen Rocky and ignored his job offer and I was really beginning to regret taking my mother’s advice. How hard was it to find a job? I’d applied to everything I could get my hands on and nothing. Not a single call back.
When I’d agreed to stay away from Rocky I was upset at first about leaving an old friend, but I didn’t e
ven consider that I wouldn’t be able to get another job offer. Three weeks we had been in Springville and I knew we couldn’t live on Mom’s tips forever. Especially since I wanted to leave the hotel as soon as possible.
Springville was a small town, and not many people were hiring. Most folk already had their hands full, or business wasn’t good enough that they could afford to take on anyone else. I understood that, I really did. But that didn’t mean that I didn’t spend every day perusing the ads and praying that by some miracle there would be another job opening.
I should’ve called Rocky last week and at least told him that I couldn’t take the job. But I knew, as soon as I started speaking to him my ‘no’ would turn into a ‘yes of course I’ll take the job.’ How could I resist a face like his? How could anyone? The fact that I didn’t call left me feeling guiltier that I thought it would, especially since I hadn’t found a job yet. If I had, at least I could have used that excuse. As it was, I’d been holed up in the hotel for days, praying I wouldn’t run into him. Springville was small enough that I knew, especially with my bad luck, I would meet him the second I set foot out the door.
Just as the thought crossed my mind, a firm knock sounded throughout the room, slightly worrying me as I walked hesitantly over to the peephole.
Could my luck really be that bad?
I swung the door open to reveal Rocky and I knew in that moment that my luck was apparently worse than I’d ever imagined. Somehow, he was looking more rugged and handsome than I remembered, and I’d been thinking about him a lot. He was in loose jeans and a fitted white V-neck, leaning against the doorframe like he had all the time in the world.
“Rocky,” I breathed out and then winced. Clearing my throat, I asked, “What are you doing here?”
He stepped around me and invited himself inside, taking a few steps and surveying the room as if he had a right to do so. I was immediately ashamed and slightly angry at his audacity. This place was all we could afford and I didn’t need someone like him judging us for it.
“Rocky?” I demanded, a little harder this time. “Why are you here?”
Turning to me, he said, “You told me you were staying here. Last week, remember?”
“I remember,” I confirmed, slightly uncomfortable that he’d come all the way down here.
“I thought I’d check anyway, in case you were lying about this too.” He sounded casual enough but I was instantly on guard.
“Excuse me?”
“If you didn’t want the job, a simple phone call would’ve been enough. Just so I could start looking for someone else.”
“Rocky, I’m sorry, I really am. And I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted the job, I just … some things happened that were a little unexpected. I should’ve called.”
“Yeah, you should’ve. So, what happened?”
I shifted uncomfortably on the spot, wishing there was some furniture in the room so that we could at least be seated for this conversation.
“Nothing, really,” I hedged. There was no way I could tell him that my mother had told me to stay away from him.
“You’ve been listening to town talk, haven’t you? Is that why you didn’t call me?” When I refused to meet his eyes, he continued. “I should’ve known. Daria, you should’ve come to me and we could’ve talked about it.”
“I’m sorry. It was my mom, she told me that it wouldn’t be the best idea to get involved with the club.”
“Now that, I can believe.”
I took a step closer, not being able to stand the distance. Placing a hand on his arm, I waited until he snapped his gaze to my own.
“Is it true?” I asked gently. Even after all my mother said, I couldn’t help but want confirmation. After all, I couldn’t spend my life listening to town gossip. Especially since I knew a lot of it was a load of crap. There was a small part of me that couldn’t reconcile the two versions of Rocky that I knew. All I wanted was some answers and who better to ask.
“It’s true. A few months ago, when Dad died.”
I couldn’t take the broken look in his eyes, something about it calling to me in a way I didn’t understand. I lifted my hand to cup his cheek in the hopes of providing even an ounce of comfort and surprisingly he didn’t pull away.
“I remember him. He was a good man. I’m sorry for what happened.”
He let out a bitter scoff at that. “Yeah me too, Daria.”
“How ... how did it happen?” I couldn’t help but ask. From what I knew and remembered of Billy Weston, he was a kind-hearted man. I couldn’t imagine someone murdering him. But since I’d never even known he was a biker, I supposed my opinion hardly counted.
Rocky pulled away from my touch at my question, leaving me feeling strangely cold and alone, and began pacing.
“It was a drug deal gone wrong. Have you heard of Jason Steele?”
I shook my head.
“He’s the president of the Nightmare MC. We’ve always had a rivalry with them but it was never as bad as now. He sabotaged the deal that my dad was on that night. They shot my dad in the chest. Three times.”
Rocky had turned his face away from me as he spoke and I pretended to ignore his audible swallow and the slight tremor in his voice.
“So, you joined the club?” I asked. I couldn’t really understand why he’d made that leap.
“Yeah. I never wanted that to be a part of my life, but it’s different now. My uncle is a good man, he wants to avenge my father like I do.”
At least I wasn’t totally clueless. I’d had a hard time grasping at the idea of a younger Rocky being even remotely interested in a motorcycle club, and it was nice to know that I wasn’t wrong. But upon hearing his plans of vengeance, I realized just how much he must have changed over the years. I breathed a deep sigh and this time I turned away from him.
“Look, Rocky. I understand why you're angry, I really do. But I really don’t think I should be involved in—”
“Oh really? You understand?” He was advancing on me know, striding forward quickly and forcing me to retreat until my back was firmly pressed against the wall.
I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but the unmistakable rage in his eyes and his cold exterior was beginning to frighten me. He was almost trembling with rage, his anger reminding me of a different man in a different life.
“What could you possibly understand?” he shouted.
At this point, I was no longer in the room with Rocky; instead, I was bombarded by memories of my life before. My stepfather’s scowling face as he raised his fists to my cheek, my paralyzing fear as I lay on the ground and his heavy boots kicked my stomach again and again, the shouts of my mother that could be heard from rooms away, but worst of all, his acidic breath and shiver-inducing voice that would whisper in my ear, “Scream for me, Princess.”
I didn’t even realize that my eyes were squeezed shut, a lone tear dripping down my face, shaking like a leaf and both hands brought up to shield my face from the anticipated onslaught.
“Daria!” A voice was shouting but I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t open my eyes.
“Daria!” it repeated. There were hands caressing my faces and a calming voice whispering nonsensical things in my ear.
“You're okay, you're okay. Open those beautiful eyes for me, darlin’.”
My breathing slowed and I was still once more, though I still refused to open my eyes. The memories were so real.
“Daria?”
This time the voice seemed to break through my barriers. I knew I recognized it, associated it with something that wasn’t pain and violence.
“Rocky?” I whispered brokenly. I finally pried my eyes open to find both his hands clutching my face, forcing my gaze to his even as I frantically tried to look everywhere else. Realizing where I was and what I was doing, my actions in the past few minutes came back to me in a flood of shame and embarrassment.
“Uh- sorry,” I stammered. “I wasn’t- I didn’t realize…”
“Don’t be sorry,�
�� Rocky said adamantly. “Tell me what happened.”
“I was just- I remembered … I don’t really know.”
My knees felt weak and I was struggling to focus on anything. It had felt so real, more than real.
“You know I would never hurt you, right?” Rocky said gently, watching my face intently.
I nodded absently, not really listening or understanding.
“Here,” Rocky grabbed my shoulders and led me to the bed, sitting me down. He walked to the kitchen and brought back a glass of water, sitting beside me and letting me lean my body weight into him while I tipped back the glass.
