by Naomi West
I’d chosen to walk down that path with Rocky. I’d chosen to give it all up for a chance at love.
A tidal wave of guilt rushed over me as I thought about the last words I’d spoken to Rocky. He didn’t deserve any of what I said to him.
I was so caught up in my anger, bitterness and guilt that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I’d turned into, well, Rocky.
I’d known from the very beginning that Rocky’s plans for revenge had very little to do with making his father happy in death, and instead very much to do with Rocky himself and appeasing his own guilt that he’d never truly supported his father in the club which was such a big part of Billy’s life.
Rocky just wanted his father to be proud of him and finally chose to go down the path of the club, even though it was too late by then. If my mother’s death had taught me anything then it was that Mom made her own choices and worked hard to give me a life where I could be happy and safe, and if I didn’t go after it and pursue happiness with everything in me then that was the only way that I wouldn’t make her proud. I just wish Rocky would come to the same understanding soon.
I looked down at my packed case and then over at the hotel room door. Mom wanted me to be happy. Wouldn’t that mean I should stay right here? I’d already established that Rocky wasn’t to blame for the loss of my mother, what else was stopping me?
Why wouldn’t I choose to stay here in Springville and go after Rocky? After all, I’d fallen so completely and utterly in love with him.
My eyes shut against the thought.
Did I really love him?
Memories of Rocky filled my mind. Riding on the back of his bike, dancing with him to the radio, lounging around and not doing anything, trying to fight boredom at stakeouts. I’d been with Rocky every step of the way since I’d gotten to town, involving myself in every aspect of his life. How could I ever think it was his fault when I’d worked so hard to make sure I was embedded into his life?
He’d once told me that I was his biggest vulnerability and he was right. But he was my biggest vulnerability, too.
I’d already lost my mother, could I really stand to lose the man I loved too? Would I really make my mother’s sacrifice be in vain? She’d died so I could live, so I could be safe and happy. Was I about to let my one shot at happiness slip through my fingers just because of my stupidity?
No. No, I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.
###
It was three in the afternoon and I was running down the scorching streets of Springville, shirt billowing in the wind behind me as I raced to Rocky’s workshop. There was a more than good chance he would be there considering the time. I knew he’d closed it for a few days, not that I was keeping tabs on him, but knowing Rocky like I hoped I did, he would’ve returned to work today, if only to preoccupy his mind. That was just the way Rocky was.
Oh God, I slowed my pace down a little. What would I say to him?
‘Sorry I implied that you killed my mother. I didn’t really mean it. I love you.’
That would go over well.
I could see the shop in the distance now and I knew I had to make my mind up quick. I refused to waste any time that we might be able to have together, that wasn’t what I was given a second chance at life for.
Before I knew it, I was standing directly in front of the shop door and without a clue of what to say to him when I walked in.
“Shit, shit, shit.”
I’d have to wing it. There was no stopping me from barging in and that’s what I did, storming into the shop, slamming the door shut behind me and scanning the room. A stunned Rocky was a few feet away from me, anxiously looking me up and down. I knew how I looked; crazy and determined, but probably not for the reason he thought.
“Rocky,” I whispered, overwhelmed by the sight of him and looking him over with new eyes, love-filled eyes.
Rocky must have noticed the change in me since we last met and relaxed his posture a bit, though he was still on guard.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
Running the short distance between us, I threw myself into his arms and wrapped all four of my limbs tightly around him. His hand came to my thighs as he held me in place. A wave of emotion overcame me and I buried my face in his neck, sobbing hard.
“Rocky,” I cried. “Rocky, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He repeated it into my ear in a soothing voice.
“I didn’t mean anything I said. None of it was your fault, it was all me.”
“No, baby. Don’t say that.”
“Will you forgive me for what I said?” I hiccupped.
“Of course. There’s nothing to forgive.”
I pulled his lips down to mine and gave him a scorching kiss, one that would hopefully convey every single one of my emotions.
When we pulled away panting, I could see his eyes were becoming moist.
“I love you, Rocky,” I sighed.
The moisture in his eyes overflowed and Rocky took a big heaving breath.
“Say it again,” he whispered.
“I love you,” I said louder.
He planted his lips on mine fully and backed me into the wall.
“Say it again.”
I looked him dead in the eyes, knowing what he needed was to believe me. “I love you, Rocky. I love you so much.”
I wrapped myself tighter around him until there was not a hairsbreadth of room between us.
“I love you too, Daria. Always have, always will.”
And there it was. He didn’t make me work for it. He didn’t make me second-guess my decision. He didn’t make me feel like a fool or an idiot. He just accepted me for who I was and always gave back to me exactly what I needed.
I made no move to get out of his arms. We just stayed like that, wrapped around each other for perhaps hours. Nothing mattered to us. We were finally together and we wouldn’t let a thing come between us anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Rocky
It was amazing how focused you could be when you had the proper motivation. Now that I had nothing left for me anymore, I didn’t want to waste time like I’d done so often in the past.
I’d spent the last few days planning and plotting, knowing I couldn’t get it wrong this time. Ever since Garcia had informed me of my uncle’s deceit I’d promised myself that Cameron wouldn’t be getting away with all his betrayal and the day had finally come for him to pay.
Over the past few days I’d gotten word out to all the club members that I had an announcement to make today. I’d also made sure they knew it was important enough not to mention to anybody. I didn’t need this getting out, especially not to Cameron. I was glad everyone had agreed and said they’d be there. An audience was essential for what I had planned today. Cameron was going to get the surprise of his life in a few hours and I wasn’t going to lie and say that I wouldn’t enjoy it.
“Are you sure you know what you're doing?” Daria asked, possibly for the fifth time today.
“Yes, I swear. You don’t have to be here, you know.”
“Rocky Weston,” she reprimanded. “How many times have I told you that you’re not getting rid of me?”
Too many. But I still loved to hear it.
“Fine, fine. I’ll see you at the clubhouse soon?”
She nodded and we parted ways.
Though I’d said nothing to Daria, I could wish for nothing more than for her to steer clear of the clubhouse today. I wasn’t exactly hiding it from her; she knew what the meeting was about. After all I’d told her about Cameron and how he’d fooled us all, she said that there was no way she’d be anywhere else. But I’d still prefer her to be far away, as in several planets away. She didn’t need to see what I had planned.
I supposed there was nothing for it now. She knew every part of me and today wouldn’t change that.
There was just one thing I had to do first.
###
“Hi, Dad.”
Though he had been dead for months, this was the first time I’d visited his grave in all that time. I had some guilt festering over my lack of visits and I figured now would be as good a time as any to pay him a visit.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to come and visit you, I hope you understand.”
I laughed uncomfortably. This was a lot stranger than I thought it would be. I’d seen people do it before and I could understand the appeal, it was still strange though. We didn’t talk enough when he was alive for me to be entirely comfortable holding a one-sided conversation with his tombstone.
“I can’t really explain to you everything that you’ve missed since you’ve been gone. I can only hope that you’ve been watching from above and know what’s been happening generally.”
It wasn’t like I expected him to answer but I couldn’t help pausing in between words and imagining what he’d say to me.
“Today will be the day I finally avenge you, Dad.”
Why hadn’t I brought flowers or something?
“I know I’ve tried to do it before but today will be the day. I have the right person for one thing. I’m sure that’s the most important. I’m sorry that Cameron betrayed you, Dad. But I’m going to make him pay. I’m going to make you proud.”
That was really all I’d come for but I felt like there was something I was forgetting, something I’d wanted to say for a while. It was a lot harder to speak to him than I thought, even though I knew logically I was just speaking to myself.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better son. I’m sorry we didn’t have the best relationship. I’m going to make it up to you today though. I hope you’re watching over me, Dad.”
There. That was it. That was all I’d wanted and planned to say to him and I’d done it. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as I’d made it out to be.
“I’ll see you soon, okay? I’ll try to visit as often as I can. Bye Dad.”
Yes, the conversation was one-sided and a little stilted, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It was time to go and make him proud.
###
I stood in the meeting room at the clubhouse and watched as people began to file in. A few of them asked me what it was all about, but I shook my head and told them they’d just have to wait. Before long, I was standing before the entire club with just one person missing.
The pounding footsteps of Cameron as he marched into the room had the corner of my lips tipping up. He was right on time.
“Rocky!” he yelled upon arrival. He hesitated slightly when he noticed the entire club was there as well but stiffened his shoulders and continued stomping towards me.
“What’s going on? And who gave you the right to call a club meeting?”
Instead of answering in words, I pulled my gun from my jeans and planted it on the side of his head.
Gasps sounded out across the room as everyone watched the scene play out. They probably thought I was insane but they’d come to understand everything soon enough.
“Whoa, Rocky. What are you doing?”
Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, I pushed him down to the ground so that he was kneeling and I had the gun still pressed against his skull.
“Something I should’ve done a long while ago.”
“Rocky, I don’t know what’s going on, but stop this right now. I’m your uncle and your President.”
I ignored him yet again, pushing the gun harder into his head.
“I’m going to give you two options. Confess or have your brains splattered all over the floor.”
“What the fuck, Rocky? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“So, you choose option B then? Because I’d be more than happy to comply.”
Something cold had taken over me and I was more and more sure that everyone thought I was mentally unstable. They all stayed back, though. Maybe it was out of fear or curiosity, but they were watching the entire event play out in silence.
“Rocky, listen to me. Calm down. I’ve done nothing to you. Just put down the gun and we can talk about this.”
“Alright you have five seconds to confess before I shoot your brains out.”
He still didn’t understand. How could he kneel on the floor with a gun to his head and still think I wouldn’t follow through with my promises?
“Five ... four.”
“Now wait, wait, wait!”
“Three ...two.”
“I said wait! I’ll confess, I swear.”
“Yes, you will,” I said. He didn’t have any other choice. “Tell everyone what you did. Tell everyone how much of a rat you really are. You were always jealous of my father, ever since you were kids.”
The people in the room made some noise at that. We’d finally arrived at the reason I’d brought them here, though a few of them were probably still holding on to the thought that I was crazy.
Cameron looked around as well, no doubt catching everyone’s eyes on him and realizing he was all alone. I knew no one would help him now. He’d made no friends in his time as president. Even Mack, the Vice President, was getting tired of Cameron. Mack hadn’t said anything, no one had, but I had eyes and ears and could see when he grew upset with certain decisions.
Everyone tuned further in and watched the scenario unfold with keen eyes.
“You knew you’d never be the man my father was!” I continued, raising my voice slightly. It appeared Cameron had reached his breaking point at that.
“He never had it in him!” Cameron yelled. Yes. This was exactly what I was after. I needed cemented proof and Cameron had just given it to me on a platter. “He never did what was necessary. He was too soft to make the hard decisions. This club is better off without him.”
I looked up at the club members once more and was proud to see them frowning, shaking their heads and muttering in disagreement.
“Billy was the best thing to ever happen to this club!” Someone called out, followed by a few more objections to Cameron’s ridiculous claim.
Comments like “You were a shit president,” and “I can’t believe you did that,” sounded out around the room. I couldn’t have asked for a better audience if I tried.
“You killed your own brother. It wasn’t Jason who organized the hit, it was you.” I emphasised my point my jabbing him a little harder with every word. The club was enraged now, finally understanding why I’d gathered everyone and why I was going to such lengths.
I dropped my voice a little. “You used me this entire time. My own uncle and you used me as a pawn.”
“You’ll never learn, Rocky. Billy was weak, and you’re just like him! I’d kill him all over again if I could!”
That was it. He’d gone too far and judging by the look on his face as I slid the gun around so that it rested in between his eyes, he knew it as well.
“Today will be the day my father is avenged.”
“Go ahead, Rocky. You don’t have the balls to go through with it. Like father, like son.”
His taunts spurred me on as my finger twitched on the trigger, itching to go ahead and end all our misery. I was so caught up in the moment, completely ready to pull the trigger, when a scream caused me to pull back slightly and look up.
“No, Rocky. Stop!”
It was Daria. When had she gotten here? I’d been so distracted I hadn’t even noticed Daria come in. I wonder what she’d seen but more importantly, I regretted what she was about to see.
“Not now, Daria. You said it yourself, he deserves to pay for what he did.”
Maybe I’d said it first but she agreed. Daria was never slow to suggest justice be served, we just had different notions of what justice entailed. Like now for instance. I knew she was about to try and talk me down from pulling the trigger but it just wouldn’t happen. I needed to make my dad happy, I needed to make him proud.
“Yes, he does. But not like this. If you kill him, you’ll be no better than him.”
I shifted from foot to foot, arms still outstretched and the gun in
front of me. Her words weren’t really affecting me, just her presence if anything. I wanted to tell her to stop, to go away so I could finish the job I had to do but I couldn’t bring the words to come out of my mouth.
“It’s not going to bring your father back. Please don’t do this.”
Did she think I didn’t know that? Did she think that after Cameron was lying dead on the ground, I would look around and expect to see my father magically appear and begin speaking to me? No. I knew that wouldn’t happen, as much as I would wish for it every day.
