“Fine,” she said.
“Wait, no,” he said, reaching for her as she gingerly started getting off of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so selfish. You’re so gorgeous, Leslie. You make a man want you all for himself.”
She sighed. “Yeah, but not for keeps.”
He swallowed at the hurt in her words, but didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her that a normal man would stay, but that he just had issues. Issues like turning into a bear that would terrify her. And he couldn’t tell her that. So he just stayed silent, holding her in his big arms and hoping it was enough.
She sighed. “All right. You going to cool it on the sweet talk?”
“No,” he said. “But I’ll cool it on the possessiveness. You’re right.”
“Fine,” she said, letting him pull her back into bed. She sighed and lay under his arm. “But I’m only allowing you to be so difficult because you’re so fantastic in bed.”
He laughed and squeezed her tight against him. “Good to know.”
“Riley?”
“Yes?”
“I do have one request, though. I sort of want to try one of those movie kisses in the rain that you always do.”
He lifted an eyebrow in the darkness. “Complete with ripped-open flannel shirt?”
She leaned over and drew her finger down the center of his chest. “Yes.”
“How’s your foot doing?” he asked.
“Better, since it’s in the brace. I think I’ll be right as rain in a few days.”
“Well, you still need to be careful, stay off it, and not re-injure it,” he replied, nipping at her lips lightly.
“And you just want an excuse to stay around me.”
“Maybe,” he agreed, loving the idea of pulling her against him and kissing her passionately as rain fell all around them. “Well, if I’m still here in the spring, I’ll make sure and give you a rain kiss.”
As he said it, he winced. Silence fell between them, and the reality of the inevitable separation that would come seemed to sober the good mood, ruining the moment.
“Riley?” she asked quietly.
“Yes?”
“Goodnight,” she said. She placed a kiss to his forehead and then rolled over and away from him, balling up in the covers before he could respond.
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said. The second word, sweetheart, was so quiet from his lips that he wasn’t sure if she heard it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to.
All he could do, as he lay there listening to the steady in-and-out of her breathing, was hope that there weren’t too many men on that damn tourist bus that was coming into town.
11
Riley’s wish wasn’t meant to be granted, because there had been quite a few men on the tourist bus the next day. However, the rest of the week had gone by just fine. More fun days working together, more hot nights doing…other things together.
And then things had gotten complicated.
It’d happened right after he’d left Leslie to open the bar and gone to get them coffee and muffins from the shop across the street. It was so easy to slip into little habits like that with her. Riley thought it was probably the closest thing to a relationship he’d ever had.
And then he’d walked into the bar, seen a tall, dark-haired man talking to Leslie, and nearly dropped the muffins.
He strode forward and set the muffins on the counter, shoving them toward Leslie as she leaned over the counter, smiling at the other man. Her smiles should be only for him. His inner bear was growling.
She sent him a sidelong glance and he remembered what she’d asked the other night.
He’d promised not to be so possessive.
No, he’d promised he’d try. That was different, right? He slid onto a stool beside the other man and cleared his throat.
The other man, who was tall in his own right but no match for Riley, looked down at him with a baffled glance. Then he did this weird thing where he tilted his head and a knowing smile spread across his face as he looked between him and Leslie.
The smile didn’t reach his eyes, and Riley didn’t like it one bit. Leslie didn’t seem to notice, continuing to chatter with the other man as if they had lots to catch up on.
“I brought you coffee,” Riley said, sliding it over to her.
She smiled warmly at him and lifted it to her lips. She took a sip and sighed. “Perfect, Riley. Thank you.”
He nodded and looked at the other guy. “And who are you?”
“Riley,” she exclaimed. “Don’t be rude.”
Riley shrugged. He’d agreed not to be possessive, not to be polite.
“Wait, you’re that guy from the chick flicks,” the guy said, snapping his fingers. He had dark-brown hair in shaggy waves and clearly thought he was God’s gift to women. He was buff in a way that said he spent too much time at the gym and too much time at the gym on his arms, and his face was orangey from fake tan.
Riley would know. He was lucky to have a naturally olive complexion.
“Yeah,” Riley answered sardonically, voice low. “I’m that guy from the movies.” He stood up and walked around the bar. “And I’m with Leslie.”
Her body tightened as he wrapped an arm around her waist and reached down to kiss her gently at the base of her neck, keeping his eyes on the other man as he did so.
The other man’s mouth turned up in a slight smirk, and his eyes darkened as he watched Riley.
Good, Riley thought. Get mad. And go away.
Then he felt himself shoved away.
“What’s wrong with you?” Leslie cried, shoving him back around the bar. “You promised,” she hissed in a low whisper.
“I said I’d try,” he muttered back.
Douchebro seemed to be enjoying their argument, even if he couldn’t hear what it was about.
“Who is he?” Riley asked Leslie.
“I’ll be right back,” Leslie said, grabbing Riley by the arm and pulling him to the back of the bar. “We need to talk.”
Riley let the much smaller woman drag him to the back room. She shoved him in the office with surprising strength and then slammed the door behind them and folded her arms.
“Didn’t we just talk about this?” she asked.
He pouted and folded his arms behind his head. “I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is, you aren’t my boyfriend. So stop acting like you are.”
“I haven’t been. It’s just, he’s a douche.”
“And you know that how?” she asked. “I’ve known Rex a lot longer than you have.”
“Aw, man,” Riley said, shaking his head and trying to pull her on to his lap. “See? His name is Rex. What’s up with that? And his tan…”
“Riley,” she said, pushing away but finally settling against him, letting her soft curves mold into him as she relaxed against his body. Damn, that felt right. It soothed all the panic and tension he’d been feeling when he’d seen her with Rex. She reached up and pushed an unruly piece of hair off his forehead. “You’re behaving like a lunatic, you know that?”
He nuzzled into her neck, nipping the skin there. He couldn’t help it, it felt like home, felt like she was already his. “I know. And I’m not normally like this.”
“How do I know that?” she asked, stroking his face. “How do I know that you don’t find a local girl in every town you visit and sweep her off her feet?”
“Ever seen anything like that in the tabloids?” he asked. “Anyway, who is this Rex, and why should I not be jealous of him?”
“One, because it’s not your business, since we’re just having fun. But two, because I asked you not to.”
“Fine, who is he?” he said. “He’s not an ex, is he?”
Leslie shook her head. “No. He’s been through here a few times, now that I think about it. Maybe once a year. But nothing’s ever happened between us.”
“Hm,” Riley said. “Stalker.”
“He�
��s a climber and hiker,” Leslie said. “As far as I know. What, you don’t think he comes to Bearstone Park just for the scenic views?”
“I think I know what scenic view he’s into,” Riley muttered.
Leslie swatted him gently and then pushed to get off his lap. He let her up, and she sighed as she stretched. He loved her sense of style.
Today she was wearing a black wrap top with light skinny jeans. Her curves were on full display and he just wanted to lock up the bar and take her home early. But he knew real life didn’t work that way. She was still wearing flats, but the brace had come off.
He was losing his excuse to stay around her, other than the fact that he just liked being with her. He didn’t know if that would be enough for her.
“Les?” he asked.
“Yes?”
“Your foot’s doing better,” he said.
“I know,” she said, wiggling it. “Soon I’ll be back to having outdoor adventures. Not. Soon I’ll be able to go out and shop with the girls.”
“Sounds fun,” he said. Now, he told himself. Ask her now if she minds you staying around even once she doesn’t need you.
She’d never once asked him to stay, asked him to be with her. She’d asked him to pleasure her, to take her, but she’d only teased him about how obnoxious he was outside of the bedroom.
She wasn’t the type for commitment, but he was starting to want it. He was starting to forget his reasons to not want it. When he saw guys like Rex, it was hard to hear anything but the roar of his bear, wanting to claim her.
“Les, would you like to—”
A knock on the door interrupted him. He’d been about to ask her on a date. A real one, not just back to his place to sleep together. It wasn’t marriage, but it was a big step for him. A step he was willing to make if it gave him the right to tell Rex to fuck off.
“Yes?” she said.
“Someone’s here to see you,” a male voice called. “I told your waitress I knew where you were.”
“Right, I left Talia out there alone.”
Riley took her hand and pulled her back. “Talia’s fully capable.”
She pulled her hand away, looking uncertain. “Look, Riley, I like you a lot. We’re having fun together. But this…honestly it’s moving a little fast for me. Getting a little intense.”
His heart dropped in his chest like a boulder pushed off a cliff. “What?”
She was hesitant, bit her lip as if considering her next words. “Look, I’m having fun with you. Okay, I know I keep saying that. The thing is…I’m starting to want more.”
His eye twitched. “I’m starting to want more, too.”
She put a hand up. “No, I mean, I’m at that place where I need some distance. I just…I can’t get more attached. Not if you’re going to leave.”
He frowned. “Les, I’m not going to…” He trailed off and stood, brushing his hands off on his jeans. “Have I done something wrong?” he asked.
“No,” she said warily. “You’ve done everything…right.” She gave him a slightly sad look, and he just wanted to pull her back onto his lap. “I just…I saw you with Rex. I know you can’t help it, even though you said you’d try. And when you act like that, it gives me ideas. You know?”
He nodded. He knew he had to be confusing her because he was confusing himself. She opened the office door for him and gestured for him to go ahead of her. That was it, no more discussion.
Right when he’d been about to ask her out. He guessed it was a good thing she stopped him.
“Les?” he said, as he went through the door and then held it out for her.
“Yes?” she said, turning to look at him.
“What do you want from me?” He tilted his head to consider her. Images flashed through his mind. All the times she’d been in his arms over the past week. All the fun they’d had. It couldn’t be over. He didn’t know how to make it keep going, he just knew it couldn’t be over.
“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging her shoulders with her arms folded. “I don’t know what I can ask for.”
“What do you want?”
“I don’t want to tell you what I want,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, just for me. I just think we’ve hit our limit.”
She shook her head one last time, patted his hand, and walked away.
Hit their limit? Riley didn’t think so. And if there was some limit to what he and Leslie could have, he meant to break through it. Shatter it into a million pieces.
His heart strained against the invisible walls within him, and memories threatened to swamp him as he tried to imagine the way to a life with her.
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t get there, yet.
But maybe if he just kept going one step at a time, kept letting himself get to know her and want her, maybe someday he’d be strong enough to break through his chains. For her.
12
Leslie told herself that her eyes just stung because the newly opened bar still smelled of the cleaner she’d used to wipe off the counters.
She couldn’t possibly be close to crying. She was a strong woman, always had been.
And things had been getting just too good with Riley. If she was honest, they were getting better than they ever had been. She knew without a doubt that no one had ever hurt her the way he could, and that cutting it off now was the best thing possible.
The stupid thing was, she had gotten to the point where she felt she was almost ready to believe his promises if he’d started to make them. She kept wondering what she would say if he asked her again what she thought about changing their relationship.
But he hadn’t said anything.
And then today, when Rex had come in, and they’d just been catching up as friends, Riley’s expression had been terrifying. So dark, so possessive. Terrifying because it thrilled her to think he thought of her as his, when in reality, he wasn’t going to stay.
He’d never said otherwise.
True, his actions did. He was cleaning and working with her, genuinely interested in hearing about her life and family (which was just her mother), and he was a generous, thrilling lover at night.
But sometimes, after he fell asleep and she watched him, that gorgeous face, that tousled hair, she felt her bear rumble and tenderness would rush through her and she knew that if she didn’t let him go soon, she’d never be able to.
She’d never known how possessive she could feel. She wanted to lock him up in her basement to prevent him from leaving. She sort of understood how her mom felt now, loving someone who wasn’t capable of commitment, almost as if you couldn’t stop yourself.
She didn’t want that past to play out again.
But she was also willing to trust again, maybe, if he could just find the courage to ask her. If, instead of telling Rex she was his and kissing her neck, he’d come to her, pulled her to the side, and asked her to be his girlfriend officially.
It was all too confusing, and she knew only one way to protect herself. And that was to walk away.
Even if her heart and her body ached at the very thought of it.
“Are we still friends?” Riley asked, walking behind her.
“Sure,” she said.
“Great,” he said, not sounding like he thought that was very great at all. “Fine.”
“Fine,” she said.
“You want to hang out tonight?” he asked.
“What?” She turned to him, sure that the shock she was feeling was plain in her voice. “Hang out?”
He coughed. “You know, just regular.”
Her heart thumped nervously. Was that a date? Weren’t they far beyond that? “I can’t,” she said. And she hated the look of disappointment on his face as she said it.
“Oh,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Rex?”
“No, of course not,” she said. “I’m just going to girls’ night up at the lodge.” Boy, did she need it. She needed Kylie and Janna to help her stay grounde
d, help her make sense of things. Help her get a pair of plaintive hazel eyes out of her damn mind.
“Okay,” he said. “Have fun.” His voice was flat, angry.
“Riley?” she said, and he turned around her face her. So tall, so serious-looking that she caught her breath. He really was stunning.
“Yes?”
“I can come get my stuff back from you after girls’ night,” she said. “If that’s okay with you.”
His expression hardened, as if it was just now sinking in that they really were going to stop things as they were going. His eyes were steely, and she thought for a moment that he was going to argue with her.
But he didn’t. Instead, his shoulders slumped slightly and he nodded. “Fine.” Then he walked down out of the hallway and paused. “Are you going to need me around today?”
She shook her head, because she really was feeling much better. “No.”
He flinched, and she didn’t know why her saying she didn’t need him seemed to hurt him so much. After all, what were they, other than adults enjoying sex?
Something much more, her bear whispered inside her. Thoughts of the forest, of home, of echoing wilderness, seemed to rush around in her mind, but she quieted them. There was no point hoping for such things with Riley Hart.
He seemed to agree. After another moment’s hesitation, he spoke. “All right. I’m going to go work on things up at the lodge then.”
She nodded, but he didn’t turn around to look at her or say anything else. He just strode all the way out of the bar without looking back or saying goodbye. Just swept out of her life in the same way he’d come in.
Like a winter wind.
* * *
When the day was over, Leslie wiped down the counter and tried not to think about what had happened earlier in the day. Kylie would be over soon to pick her up in her jeep to take her up to the mountain.
The door jingled as she came in. “Hey girl,” Kylie said softly “You ready?”
“Just about,” she said, wringing the rag and setting it in the sink. “Man, I need a girls’ night.”
“Me too,” Kylie said. “Three subs in one week. The little monsters are really getting to me.”
Bearlebrity: (BWWM) Paranormal BBW Bear Shifter Romance Standalone Page 9
