by Alexa Land
“But by all means,” River told Skye, “proceed with your wedded bliss. And for God’s sake, move your marshmallow. It’s about to burst into flames.” As if on cue, Skye’s marshmallow did exactly that and River said, “See? I’m always right.”
*****
When we got up the next morning and wandered to the farmhouse looking for coffee, we found the place had been set to Maximum Nana. She’d completely taken over. Skye’s mom seemed amused by the whole thing as she lounged on the couch sipping herb tea. Her boyfriend, his sister and the kids had apparently vacated the premises.
The living room was completely spotless and overflowing with flowers and plants. It looked like Nana had gone to a florist and bought out their entire inventory. Since today was Valentine’s Day, most of it was red and pink.
Apparently she’d also gone to a bakery and had decided to record an episode of her cable TV cooking show for whatever reason. Jessie was acting as her on-air assistant, while Trevor worked a movie camera on a tripod and Vincent stood off to the side, shaking his head. A boom hung from a makeshift rig and portable lights to each side completed her set. Nana came prepared.
“Ah, there are our grooms!” she exclaimed when she spotted Skye and Dare. “Come join us, boys, we’re about to make your wedding cake! We didn’t know what flavor you wanted, so we went with all of them! Jessie, you ready?” He smiled and nodded. “Alright kiddo, start stacking!”
Jessie and Nana worked as a team, using two spatulas apiece to lift a series of twelve-inch-round Valentine’s Day-pink cakes and stack them on top of each other as Nana explained, “Bakers charge a premium for wedding cakes, but it’s just a question of stacking, people! It’s so easy, anyone can do it! Now, I didn’t have a chance to custom order anything, so I just went with what they had at the bakery. Normally, you maybe want to use cakes of different sizes, but this’ll work. Once you finish building your cake tower, pipe on some frosting, slap on some fresh flowers and you got yourself a wedding cake!”
“How big are we going, Nana?” Jessie asked as they piled on cake after cake.
“Big as you want!”
“This is pretty big,” Jessie said, looking up at the cake tower.
“We should cap it off with this fancy princess cake as a nice finishing touch.” Nana said, climbing up on a stepstool and hoisting up a rounded dome cake covered with pink marzipan. It was slightly wider than the cakes below it, and as soon as it was in place, Jessie stepped back, blinked at what they’d made, and said, “Oops.” Then he started laughing. Chance had his camera around his neck and started snapping photos as he chuckled delightedly.
“Oh shit,” Nana exclaimed as I doubled over with laughter, “we accidentally made a giant weenie dongle.” Shea was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face.
The huge cake dong started listing to the right and Nana grabbed hold of it with both hands. “Fuck a duck, Jessie, we forgot a key step! We needed to keep it stiff!” He was laughing so hard by this point that he had to lean against the kitchen counter to remain upright.
“It is really important to keep it stiff,” he managed.
“You were supposed to insert your wood! How could we forget that?” Nana told him. The fact that she was gesturing with her chin toward some thin wooden dowels was lost on her assistant, who was struggling to breathe.
The cake was leaning even further by now and she ended up hugging it and trying to heave it upright. Jessie collapsed on the kitchen floor, howling with laughter, and a chuckling Skye and Dare jumped in to try to lend a hand. They both hesitated though, unsure where exactly to grab the frosting-covered phallus.
“This is awesome,” Trevor said as he panned the camera across the scene before him, a huge smile on his face. Joshie wandered in just then, paperback in hand. He took one look at the chaos, shook his head, and left the room again.
Meanwhile, Nana teetered on the stepstool, trying to wrestle the cock cake into an upright position with both arms wrapped around it. “It looks like she’s trying to jerk it off,” Chance murmured as he chuckled and kept snapping photos.
“Quick Skye, hand me that thing on the counter,” Nana exclaimed.
She probably meant the dowel, but Skye grabbed a pastry bag filled with white icing and said, “This?” as he held the bag up to her.
Nana grabbed it without looking and reached for the top of the cake. She squeezed the bag too hard though as she lost her footing, sending a jet of white icing shooting toward the ceiling. It arced up and over, splattering the grooms. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. Dare caught her easily as Nana fell off the stool.
“Well, that was a satisfying climax,” Shea quipped, still chuckling as he wiped tears from his eyes.
“Does Nana really have a cooking show?” Chance asked as we watched the cock cake lean over like the tower of Pisa and just remain there, looking spent.
“She does,” I said. “It’s on cable TV and pretty much always goes exactly like this.”
“The things I miss by not having a television.” Chance shook his head.
Nana walked up to Trevor as he shut off the camera. She was totally covered in pink frosting and daintily patting her hair in place. She said, “There’s probably some useable footage there, right? We can just edit it a bit, maybe blur it out once it turns into a big weenie dongle.”
“Sure,” Trevor told her with a huge smile. “It’ll be fine.”
“I bought plenty of extra cake,” she said. “We can try again and make something nice for my boys.”
“Out of curiosity,” Trevor said as he removed the camera from the tripod, “Why’d you want to film today?”
“I decided to branch out and become one of them, you know, lifestyle experts,” she told him. “I already have my cooking program, but I figure I can also show people how to throw real nice gay homosexual weddings on all kinds of budgets. Even if you’re cutting costs though, you can probably do better than a big, pink peepee.”
Nana went off to change and Jessie pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the droopy dessert. “This really is the best job ever,” he said happily.
While Chance went over to Jessie and showed him the photos he’d taken, I crossed the room to the coffee pot but then I hesitated. I’d gotten a new machine at home, one that dispensed directly into a cup to save myself the step of pouring, since that had become surprisingly problematic. I’d learned to adapt as my fine motor skills deteriorated, figuring out fixes like wrapping my silverware with duct tape to create thick handles that were easier for my clumsy fingers to grab onto. All in all, I felt I was adapting pretty well, at least so far. But being someplace new put me at a disadvantage.
I looked to Shea a bit embarrassedly and he stepped right up, pouring my coffee and doctoring it the way I liked it. “Come on,” he said, tilting his head. “Let’s sit out on the porch.”
That was the first time I’d ever asked for help, even though I’d done it wordlessly. I’d been dreading getting to that point, but Shea made it a nonissue. He was just there for me. It was that simple.
We settled onto a creaky porch swing with a view of the rolling hills that surrounded us. The sky was impossibly blue, the sun shining brightly, though there was still a chill in the air. I thanked Shea as he handed me my coffee. I couldn’t manage the handle, so I grasped the cup between my palms instead. “Have you started pouring milk in your coffee because it cools it down and makes the mug easier to hold like that?” he asked quietly.
“Exactly. Your observation skills never cease to amaze me.”
“Is the reason you’ve lost weight because you’re having trouble feeding yourself?”
I was only down three of four pounds and hadn’t thought it was noticeable. “I’m figuring it out. Some foods are easy and others are impossible. For example, I can’t get soup or cereal to my mouth without spilling it. Large, solid things like slices of pizza or bagels are perfectly manageable.” I’d been making a point of not eating with silverware
in front of him because I didn’t like to broadcast how bad it had gotten. But if I was going to accept Shea’s help, it was time to let him see the whole picture.
“What do you think about the idea of me moving in with you?” he asked. “I mean, I’m there all the time anyway and you gave me a key, but it seems like maybe we should make it official.”
“I really want to live with you, and that has nothing to do with my failing motor skills. I love you, Shea. I’d want that even if I was in perfect health.” He smiled and kissed me. I remembered something then and said, “Hey, Happy Valentine’s Day, by the way. I have a present for you, fortunately it was in my pocket when we got swept up on this road trip.” I stood up and stuffed my hand in the front pocket of my jeans, then pulled out a little object awkwardly swaddled in red tissue paper and way too much Scotch tape. “Sorry that this looks like it was wrapped by chimpanzees.”
“Should I open it now?” When I nodded, Shea put down his coffee and worked his way through the tape and wrap, finally revealing a little steampunk brass heart made out of tiny gears and watch pieces.
I tried to find the words to explain the gift to him. “I wanted you to have my heart. I mean, you already have the real one, but I wanted you to have this one, too. I made it during my first semester at Sutherlin. It’s always been special to me because it represented a new beginning after my first attempt at college. I carried it in my pocket every day that first year and took comfort in it at time when I was feeling really vulnerable. I guess...I guess I’m hoping after I’m gone it’ll comfort you too and help you find a new beginning.”
Shea grabbed me in a tight embrace, a tremor going through his body. “Shit,” I murmured, “sorry. I didn’t mean to make this depressing. I just wanted you to know the story behind it.”
His voice was rough when he said, “You didn’t make it depressing. It’s perfect and incredibly beautiful. Thank you.” He let go of me and hastily wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Your present’s in my backpack. I’ll give it to you later, okay?”
“You didn’t have to get me anything.” He shot me a look and I offered him a little smile. “But thank you.”
We finished our coffee, then decided to go for a walk. There was a ramshackle gazebo at the highest point in the vineyard and we made that our destination. A lot of kissing led to making love on the dusty pine floor of the small structure, hidden from view behind the drooping half-walls. I finished in Shea first, then he eased himself into me and finished in me as well.
As we got dressed and he pocketed the compact container of lube he almost always had with him, I said, “I wonder if that’s Zandra.” She and her boyfriend were flying up from L.A. for the wedding. In the distance, a white rental car was making its way down the long dirt road leading to the farmhouse, kicking up a plume of dust.
“Probably,” Shea said as he tucked in his t-shirt. “Let’s go say hi.”
*****
We spent the day visiting with our friends until it was time for the ceremony. Nana had spent all day alternately cooking and pulling together some last-minute decorating with the help of Jessie and Joshie, who made a couple trips into town. When the wedding official arrived, Nana directed all of us to go out back, where she’d spun a little of her magic.
While the color scheme in the living room was pure Valentine’s Day, apparently she’d second-guessed that idea for the ceremony. The little lawn area off the back deck was surrounded with clusters of blue and white flowers, all of them placed in or on found objects, like the basket of an old bike and the seat of a rusty patio chair. That was so Skye. A white vine-covered arch had been turned into a focal point with daisies woven into it. A lot of white twinkle lights added some sparkle.
When Skye stepped out the back door, his eyes got misty. “It’s so pretty,” he murmured.
“It’s absolutely perfect,” Dare agreed, taking his fiancé’s hand.
Skye’s mom took her place of honor on a padded lounge chair with Draco the cat on her lap and the mouse beside her in its carrier. The rest of the guests gathered around in a half-circle, including Benny the dog, who sat beside me wagging his tail and panting happily. The wedding official stood with her back to the arch, and River and I (and the dog) flanked the couple. Both grooms wore jeans and blue t-shirts. It was all exactly right somehow, so totally my best friend and the man he loved.
The ceremony was short and sweet, and when the two were pronounced husband and husband they kissed passionately. Nana signaled to Jessie and he started playing music on his phone, which came out through a series of speakers hidden around the garden. While Chance circled at a distance and snapped photos, the couple held each other and had their first dance right then and there, staring adoringly into one another’s eyes. Since dance was a huge part of Dare’s life, it was really fitting that this was a part of the ceremony.
As soon as the romantic instrumental song concluded, Lady Gaga started playing and Skye let out a delighted yell. All the wedding guests started dancing on the lawn. Tina’s boyfriend picked her up and spun her a few times, cat and all, before kissing her and settling onto the lounge chair with her on his lap. Draco looked unimpressed.
Sometime later, Joshie and Jessie helped Nana set up the huge Italian buffet she’d prepared. When it was ready, Shea filled plates for both of us and we sat in the living room. I tried to pick up one of the forks that he’d set down on the coffee table, but I just couldn’t quite manage it. “How do you want to do this?” he asked gently.
I considered the question as I assessed the plate of food and finally said, “If you put the finger foods in my hand for me, I can probably take it from there. I won’t be able to manage the salad or pasta, though.” He picked up my hand and turned it palm up, then balanced an appetizer on my fingertips and gently curled them around it.
A tear fell, soaking into my jeans, and Shea asked me what was wrong. “It’s going to get so much worse than this,” I whispered.
“So, we’ll deal with it.”
“I love you so much. I wish I didn’t have to be such a burden.”
“You’re not a burden, sweetheart. Not at all.”
I sighed quietly and we continued the meal. After I ate the appetizers, he fed me carefully. It was kind of awkward. “All your food’s getting cold,” I told him as he picked up some pasta with my fork.
“I don’t care.”
“But I do. Please eat something. I know you’re hungry.” He hastily ate a forkful of salad, then tried to go back to feeding me. I wrapped my hand around his and said, “This isn’t going to work if you sacrifice your own health and well-being for me, baby. Please eat your lunch.”
“But then yours will get cold.”
“So, we’ll stick it in the microwave.”
He frowned at that, then compromised by feeding me and himself in turn. It took a long time, but eventually we got through the meal. “Will you come with me?” he asked as he got to his feet. “I want to give you your Valentine’s Day present.”
After dropping our plates and silverware off in the kitchen, where Hawk’s kids had somehow been coerced into teaming up on the dishes, we went to the bunkhouse. I slipped my arms around Shea and held him for a long moment. He felt strong and solid, just like he always did. It was so reassuring.
He led me to his bunk and pulled his backpack out from underneath it. “Okay, this first part isn’t your Valentine’s Day present. It’s your Christmas gift, actually.” He put the comic book he’d been making for me in my hands. “This took so much longer than I anticipated. Sorry about that.”
“Thank you,” I said, hugging it to my chest. “I can see why it took some time. You’ve been devoting every spare moment to me and to the art center.”
I started to fold back the cover, but Shea said, “Hang on. Before you do that, I want to give you your real present.” He took a silver charm out of a black jewelry box. It was a beautifully rendered abstract representation of two hands holding a heart that was wearing a
crown. “I found a metal artist to make this for you. I wanted it to represent both of us, traditional and modern at the same time. It was inspired by a Claddagh ring. I love you, Christian, and I wanted you to have a symbol of my love.”
I threw my arms around him again, the comic book sandwiched between us. “Thank you, baby. I love it.”
“Is it really okay?”
“It’s perfect. Could you help me with this?” I pulled the black leather cord out from inside my shirt, the one with my dad’s pendant on it, and Shea added the charm. The two pieces were roughly the same size and contrasted really beautifully. After he put it on again, I pressed my hand over it, holding it to my heart. “Thank you so much. It’s wonderful.”
He rested his forehead against mine and smiled. “I’m so glad you like it.”
Next, Shea turned the pages of the comic book for me and explained each illustration. They didn’t need explanation, but I thought it was cute that he did that. “This turned out amazing. You’ve produced an incredible work of art,” I told him when we reached the end. “Please tell me you’ll keep pursuing drawing.”
“I will, somewhere down the road,” he said, looking away.
I reached for his chin and turned his face toward me. “I know you’re going to have your hands full now that I’m getting worse, but please, Shea. Promise me you’ll make time for yourself and for your drawing. This is important.”
“I’ll try.” I kissed him softly, and he slid his hand around the back of my neck and deepened the kiss. We ended up making love for the second time that day there in the bunkhouse, switching off again, which was becoming our norm.
When we were dressed, I finger-combed my hair and said, “Come on, baby. There’s a party going on and I feel like celebrating.”
I really did, too. I’d been on such a roller coaster of emotions lately, wonderful events in my life contrasting sharply with the fear and sadness of becoming ever more helpless and realizing my days were numbered. I kept reminding myself of what Nana had said, though. You think I’m going to squander even one day by sitting around fretting over how much time I have left?
